dieting alone

pippywillow
pippywillow Posts: 253 Member
edited November 26 in Health and Weight Loss
I've lost weight successfully in the past, four years ago I lost 70 lbs and have kept most of it off, but it is creeping back on. I did pretty well when I was still with my ex-husband, but now I'm living alone and having a hard time staying motivated.

How do you hold yourself accountable?

I am in a long distance relationship, but he's already in great shape, he eats well and exercises, and doesn't struggle with it like I do, so he doesn't completely understand what I'm dealing with.

Replies

  • mulecanter
    mulecanter Posts: 1,792 Member
    Are you doing this for you or someone else? Don't validate yourself through their eyes. From your picture it looks like you have a child. Staying in shape for your children is noble, use that. I have teenage sons, one of my motivations is to be around and active when they are men.
  • Dani9585
    Dani9585 Posts: 215 Member
    I hold myself accountable by telling myself that I'm only "hurting" myself to not stay on track.

    By that, I mean that I could put myself at a higher risk for illnesses and such. I want to be healthy. I can be healthy and go over my goals once in awhile, but if it's a regular habit, I know my risks increase.

    I also think about how important my lifestyle is to me. If it's important, I'll make it work. If it's not, I'll let it slide.

    It's important - so I hold myself accountable and I stay on track.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    That’s funny, I find it sooooo much easier when solo. Make time to plan and prep meals. Use your alone time for yoga, cardio or simple meditation. There are lots of great podcasts about how NOT to soothe boredom or loneliness with food.
  • Mandylou19912014
    Mandylou19912014 Posts: 208 Member
    I guess you need to learn to find a diet which suits you and your lifestyle .. set realistic short term goals and just focus on smashing them .. we are all bound to have slip ups but take each day as it comes and focus on eating as healthy as you can per day
  • Running_and_Coffee
    Running_and_Coffee Posts: 811 Member
    The opposite over here!
    My biggest obstacle is that my husband and kids eat much more, much later in the day than me (because I wake up early to exercise and go to bed earlier) and much more freely. Yet, they are all skinny...not thin, skinny. I love my family but think my lifestyle would be easier to maintain if I were solo.
  • Danp
    Danp Posts: 1,561 Member
    The only person you are accountable to is you regardless of any other factors. In fact you can't not be accountable to yourself.
  • passenger79
    passenger79 Posts: 257 Member
    Complete opposite with me got to goal weight while single easy to maintain then I met my tall,skinny partner who can eat whatever he wants and not put on any weight and he introduced me to Reece's peanut butter cups and eating out every weekend plus drinking lol....good job I love him .

    But it's alot harder for me to diet when every weekend there is food in abundance when Im.by myself I can plan alot better . You don't need partner in your home to motivate you you need to do that yourself. You 've done great losing 70 pounds you can lose weight again
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Personally I think its harder when the family is around, at least when its just yourself you can plan your meals around just you.
    Well done on a 70lb loss but please don't let it start to creep on now when you've done so well. Do it for YOU, you know you'll benefit in a host of ways by keeping at a healthy weight.
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    I'm definitely on team alone.

    Nobody else bringing food in, nobody distracting, nobody telling me I'm messing up their Saturday with my early morning run. etc.
  • neugebauer52
    neugebauer52 Posts: 1,120 Member
    I have realized that "dieting" is not the answer - I have to change to a much healthier lifestyle. I am changing a little bit every day, every week. I eat the food I enjoy and TRY very hard to exercise portion control. MFP is a tremendous help in so many ways. As long as I stay on around 1.800 calories a day, my weight will come off.
  • evivahealth
    evivahealth Posts: 571 Member
    nowine4me wrote: »
    That’s funny, I find it sooooo much easier when solo. Make time to plan and prep meals. Use your alone time for yoga, cardio or simple meditation. There are lots of great podcasts about how NOT to soothe boredom or loneliness with food.

    @nowine4me - I love a good podcast! Please hit us up with the links or the names so we can enjoy :)
  • RadishEater
    RadishEater Posts: 470 Member
    edited May 2018
    Team alone all the way when starting out, I find it easier to stick to healthy choices when i'm not watching tv with someone who is eating a steak with mac&cheese for dinner every night or bringing thai or ribs or pizza or wings takeout back to eat.

    I think the hardest food experience was when my bf had to work late and didn't want to make food but wanted some company so I went with him and watched him eat an entire plate of loaded nachos. But I had all my calories already and didn't want to go over, so I sat there and talked to him while sipping water. I know he appreciated the company but it was painful for me since I was 2months-ish into losing weight. I love mexican food and definitely could have eaten a bunch of nachos, so in the end I ate one nacho with cheese after he was finished.
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    kballsocc wrote: »
    Team alone all the way when starting out, I find it easier to stick to healthy choices when i'm not watching tv with someone who is eating a steak with mac&cheese for dinner every night or bringing thai or ribs or pizza or wings takeout back to eat.

    I think the hardest food experience was when my bf had to work late and didn't want to make food but wanted some company so I went with him and watched him eat an entire plate of loaded nachos. But I had all my calories already and didn't want to go over, so I sat there and talked to him while sipping water. I know he appreciated the company but it was painful for me since I was 2months-ish into losing weight. I love mexican food and definitely could have eaten a bunch of nachos, so in the end I ate one nacho with cheese after he was finished.

    What's wrong with steak and MacnCheese every night?? besides monotony.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    My wife and I have completely different eating patterns. I don't eat breakfast while she does. I eat my biggest meal at lunch and she eats hers at dinner. We are both trying to lose weight which is good for reducing temptation but meal planning is mostly a solo act for both of us. That might seem odd but it is important to do what we both do naturally and not try to force ourselves together which could hurt progress. For instance, when I do try and eat what she does for lunch if I am not careful I won't get enough calories which throws off my day. If the reverse is true she may have too many calories at lunch and be miserable at dinner. Of course pre-logging prevents that but sometimes we forget.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    edited May 2018
    I guess I don’t see the problem. I live with my husband and kids but they have nothing to do with my food intake or exercise I do that all on my own. I don’t even talk about it with my husband. We have different interests.
  • xbowhunter
    xbowhunter Posts: 1,256 Member
    I can re-late to all of this. yesterday my wife was snacking on a bag of chips while we were talking. I am @ the point now where this doesn't bother me & I truly wanted none of that...lol

    I stick to my calorie goals no matter what high calorie food is in front of me. I have self control & won't revert back to the old me no matter what. I have worked way too hard to get to my goal weight & it will be a cold day in hell for someone to shove crap in my to my system... :)
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I log in here every day. I prelog my food most days to help me make better choices.
    I weigh myself every week and record it.
    I got a pedometer and set step goals for myself to increase my activity. Sometimes I do other exercise alone. Sometimes I exercise with other people.
    I live with two people who have different calorie needs and goals. I come to MFP for support and understanding I guess.
    My motivation to lose weight is so I can do the things I want to do and be healthier. I don't really need to be monitored or held accountable by someone else. No one else cares as much as I do about this. If I don't want it enough to follow through for me then nothing anyone else says or does is going to help.

    Get some friends here or join a group. Start logging and weighing yourself regularly. Make small sustainable changes. Find something active that you enjoy.
    If you are an emotional or stress eater work on new tools to deal with those things.
  • jefamer2017
    jefamer2017 Posts: 416 Member
    I personally prefer to diet alone. Less unsolicited opinions and "advice". Set your own personal goals and motivated solely by your own ideas.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    I really understand where you are coming from pippywillow! Without someone there you feel like no one is watching you, so maybe you sneak that extra portion size, or don't log that afternoon snack. Who will call you on it right?

    Possible suggestion is to give yourself a non-food reward. When I first started trying to lose weight, the dedication to fitting into my wedding dress or being a fitter person wasn't there. So I bribed myself. I love video games, and I made myself a responsibility list (like a kid's chore list) and gave myself a check mark if I did the activity in full. The reward for having no "X" marks or blank spots? Gave myself an allowance to be spent on new games, and would NOT allow myself to spend any other money on games.

    Was I still tempted to cheat? Yes. But now if I cheated I wasn't only harming my well-being, I was lying to myself in a way I found unacceptable. Maybe this will work for you, if you have a reward that you can think of that will keep you honest =)
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,513 Member
    stanmann571 wrote: »
    I'm definitely on team alone.

    Nobody else bringing food in, nobody distracting, nobody telling me I'm messing up their Saturday with my early morning run. etc.

    My partner complained one weekend that he woke up and I wasn't there and how it made him sad he couldn't have a hug...... Dude it's 2pm I've been up 6 hours
  • carlyraeho11as
    carlyraeho11as Posts: 13 Member
    Think of the alone time as an advantage! It's easier (for me) to keep only healthy foods in the fridge and schedule workouts if I have the place to myself. You will feel great next time you see him and the happiness will be radiating from you! Plus, when we look at ourselves every day it's harder to notice gradual changes. He won't see you for a while and then when he does he will be so proud to see all the hard work you've put in!
  • garystrickland357
    garystrickland357 Posts: 598 Member
    I keep myself accountable by focusing on the behaviors that lead to weight loss. If I say things like, "I need to lose some weight" I get lost. You can't lose weight like you can car keys.

    Weight loss is an outcome.

    Focus on the habits and behaviors that will take you where you want to go. If there is a food that's your kryptonite get rid of it. Exercise if you enjoy it. Plan your meals. Track your calories. If you have a moment of temptation ask if that's what you really want - will it take you nearer to your goal?

    This is what works for me.
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,512 Member
    Sorry, OP, but if I were in a long distance relationship, I'd look like a kitten fitness model by now! As much as I love my SO, nothing hinders me more than him coming over after work. That means no workout and a big dinner. It is much easier when I get to plan my own meals and activities.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    pippywillow wrote: »
    I've lost weight successfully in the past, four years ago I lost 70 lbs and have kept most of it off, but it is creeping back on. I did pretty well when I was still with my ex-husband, but now I'm living alone and having a hard time staying motivated.

    How do you hold yourself accountable?

    I am in a long distance relationship, but he's already in great shape, he eats well and exercises, and doesn't struggle with it like I do, so he doesn't completely understand what I'm dealing with.

    That's why it's helpful to have a community like MFP!

    Sure it would be great if my husband was a part time nutritionist who enjoys yoga and Zumba in his spare time, but he's not. And I really don't want to bore my friends and family with reports on my weight, if I did my workout, or reached a milestone. Also, there's a lot of collective knowledge and so on that goes beyond my own little social circle. I can reach an appropriate audience here with those sorts of things.

    Sure, it's ideal if you have an accountability person in real life. But this is the real world where that isn't always the case. And it's OK.

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