Heavy Drinker - Now Sober - First 3 Months Sobriety Summary

kshama2001

CarvedTones wrote: »

vingogly wrote: »

Think long and hard before you label yourself (or anyone else) as an "alcoholic" or a "drunk". You tend to become what you tell yourself you are.

https://www.cchrint.org/psychiatric-disorders/psychiatric-labels-are-the-problem/

I do have an issue with substance abuse, but I think I can be someone who just doesn't drink and not worry about it anymore. 11 months in, that hasn't completely happened yet; I had to worry about it a lot to start with and less frequently as time has passed but still the occasional urge. Between those urges I don't give it much thought unless I come across a discussion or if I am going to be in a situation with a high potential for urges and easy access to alcohol. I know AA members who haven't had a drink in 20 years and are still all about being an alcoholic, going to a couple of meetings a week. They seem ti have beat the problem long ago but still let it define them.

Ya, I briefly dated two men who had been sober for double digit amount of years but were not available on Saturday nights because that was Meeting Night. If I had already been in a relationship with them I could have made space for it, but given we were new to each other it didn't make sense to me to continue. They seemed to not have the emotional bandwidth I was looking for - too much emotional availability was invested in 12 step meetings and being an alcoholic.

(I'm not saying they should have done anything different - they are free to do what they think is necessary for their best good - just saying we weren't compatible.)

junodog1

CarvedTones wrote: »

vingogly wrote: »

Think long and hard before you label yourself (or anyone else) as an "alcoholic" or a "drunk". You tend to become what you tell yourself you are.

https://www.cchrint.org/psychiatric-disorders/psychiatric-labels-are-the-problem/

I do have an issue with substance abuse, but I think I can be someone who just doesn't drink and not worry about it anymore. 11 months in, that hasn't completely happened yet; I had to worry about it a lot to start with and less frequently as time has passed but still the occasional urge. Between those urges I don't give it much thought unless I come across a discussion or if I am going to be in a situation with a high potential for urges and easy access to alcohol. I know AA members who haven't had a drink in 20 years and are still all about being an alcoholic, going to a couple of meetings a week. They seem ti have beat the problem long ago but still let it define them.

For some people the problem is never beat. It is a challenge every day, even 20 years later. One drink can open a door back up after a long period of sobriety. Not everyone is like that but some are. I had a generation older family member who fought this battle for the last forty years of her life, which were sober years. It is important to know yourself.