Why are slim people slim?
Replies
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I believe that dieting and overrestriction in youth is the number one destroyer of a naturally healthy metabolism.
I don't think that's the case for me. I was a chubby child, a fat teenager, then an obese adult. I never even considered dieting until a few years ago and had zero restrictions in my youth. I just love food and eat a lot of it.8 -
Genetics, mostly. The naturally fit people I know have never 'dieted' a single day in their lifetime.
I no longer believe in diets of any kind. Dieting in the teenage years precedes destructive eating behaviors in the adult years. It can lead to a lifetime of being on a diet and then eating it all back. Rebounding with every pound plus friends.
There's no such thing as the finish line with your overall health and wellbeing. Positive behaviors after a lifetime of dieting are not difficult to adopt. Just practice, practice, practice until they become your skills in your wheelhouse.
When you have the equipment you need, new cognitive behaviors..they will give you confidence. Naturally fit people can be consistent or inconsistent with their life choices. They remain at their original factory settings without dieting.
Reverse dieting is my goal. I want to return to my original factory settings. Back to the time when dieting was the last thing on my mind and my weight was always stable. My internal cues were naturally working without getting stuck in the numbers.
This. Totally this. I think it is possible to return to those original factory settings. I believe the longer you are in maintenance, the more it becomes natural and instinctive as far as food management goes. It may be harder for some, or take longer to get to this point, but I do believe it happens and when it does, it makes life easier. I love the best part of the above quote" "There's no such thing as the finish line with your overall health and wellbeing." That is just so dead on ... at least it is for me!!!6 -
Very interesting.
Me.
Ages
0 to 15 underweight because I really didn't care about food & only ate when I needed to.
15 to 35 overweight after meeting my Italian wife & eating too much high Carb Italian foods.
35 to 49 Yoyo dieted from obese back to normal weight several times & didn't really know why.
Fast forward to today. Since January of this year did my research & studied the science behind Macro's and foods to completely remove from my diet because frankly they will kill me some-day.
Bingo it's like a light switch went on.
Now I'm back to a normal BMI level & completely understand how I did it & how to maintain it.
Knowledge is power!!1 -
I’d like to watch this video sometime when I’m not working
I find it interesting how people maintain a healthy weight without trying. 0 -
I'd be curious to see how they were raised. I bet they weren't pushed to be members of the 'clean plate club' or warned about starving kids in Asia/Africa. If I had to hazard a guess, their parents were likely active people, as well and family gatherings likely revolved more around interacting and games in the yard than stuffing their faces..
Maybe. Who knows.6 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »Hungry_Shopgirl wrote: »SummerSkier wrote: »I will admit to not watching the video but just reading the comments. If it is talking about slim people who have been slim all their lives, it's interesting but not really applicable to most of us. I think once you get on the diet bandwagon you ruin the intuitive relationship with food. I know I did when I was 15. And have yo yo'd every since.
Some folks who have been maintaining for years can get back there but many like me will probably never get there. Yes - we can form better habits and I have seen my activity levels increase in general in maintenance but I am sad to say,I am still obsessed with food and the scale and probably always will be.
I'd encourage you to watch the video. Yes, these people have been slim all their lives, which means that a lot of the behaviors that keep their CI = CO are unconscious. But just because we don't do these things unconsciously doesn't mean we can't learn anything from it. We don't do it automatically but we can learn to do it, which means it can become a habit.
I completely agree. It's entirely possible to mimic these behaviors. For example, I may not reduce my food intake unconsciously after a heavy day, but I can do it consciously. I may not move a lot without noticing throughout the day, but I can move deliberately.
Yup!
Case in point: I was on vacation Tuesday and Wednesday last week. I ate *more* than TDEE on both days.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday? I actually wasn't all that hungry, and ate under TDEE, by about the same amount that I was over.
My moving weight average? I've lost 1.2 pounds from last Tuesday until today. And that's *with* having cyclical water weight right now.2 -
xbowhunter wrote: »Very interesting.
Me.
Ages
0 to 15 underweight because I really didn't care about food & only ate when I needed to.
15 to 35 overweight after meeting my Italian wife & eating too much high Carb Italian foods.
35 to 49 Yoyo dieted from obese back to normal weight several times & didn't really know why.
Fast forward to today. Since January of this year did my research & studied the science behind Macro's and foods to completely remove from my diet because frankly they will kill me some-day.
Bingo it's like a light switch went on.
Now I'm back to a normal BMI level & completely understand how I did it & how to maintain it.
Knowledge is power!!
Murderous foods... Yikes! I hope my loaf of bread doesn't kill me in my sleep
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Hungry_Shopgirl wrote: »xbowhunter wrote: »Very interesting.
Me.
Ages
0 to 15 underweight because I really didn't care about food & only ate when I needed to.
15 to 35 overweight after meeting my Italian wife & eating too much high Carb Italian foods.
35 to 49 Yoyo dieted from obese back to normal weight several times & didn't really know why.
Fast forward to today. Since January of this year did my research & studied the science behind Macro's and foods to completely remove from my diet because frankly they will kill me some-day.
Bingo it's like a light switch went on.
Now I'm back to a normal BMI level & completely understand how I did it & how to maintain it.
Knowledge is power!!
Murderous foods... Yikes! I hope my loaf of bread doesn't kill me in my sleep
I mean, some loafs make really awesome baseball bats. A little doughy in the middle, but a good sharp crust can do some damage.2 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
I think it's the opposite. Watch the video! I have experience with being and thinking like an overweight person, and being and thinking like a normal weight person, so I can relate to everybody in it. Slim people pick and choose their favorites, or rather, favorite. Look at the tiny packs of cookies - cupcakes isn't something he usually eats, and he eats ONE cupcake. They can eat a lot on occasion, but not too much over time, and they will rather pass up eating opportunities if there's nothing they want. They aren't always ready to eat, and don't think too much of it.elisa123gal wrote: »some of us care about and enjoy food more than others. period. For those who can take it or leave it.. they are natually skinny. It;s a dead end tryng to relate to them.
understand yourself...modify your behavior to get the result you want. a food lover can never honestly change their behavior to a person who doesn't care much about food.
Overweight people try hard to limit themselves around food they like, but will eat much as possible of whatever, as long as it's cheap or free and nobody's looking, whenever their resolve weakens, and it does frequently, because so much mental energy is spent avoiding taste and enjoyment and berating themselves and possibly envying others. Overweight people are always ready to eat because they're not sure when the next opportinity arises. Rationally, of course they know they can eat as much as they want at any time, and that that's actually part of the problem, but the other part of the problem is that most food decisions are made irrationally. Not "derangedly", but based on emotions, not just the physical need for nutrition. A diet mentality is self-imposed food scarcity. Lots of advice fails because this isn't taken into consideration.
I agree I think mentally the moment you tell yourself I can't have this or that it flips a deprivation switch and then you tend to at some point go crazy because you denied yourself for a while.
Another pet peeve of mine is when people will say, I had something "bad" or I was "bad" today because I had two pieces of pizza. Drives me nuts!!!! Food is not bad...just enjoy in moderation.
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Surprised nobody mentioned the bit about how alcohol 'changes the way we process sugar and fat'...
Anyway, she doesn't snack. She might eat fast food for lunch but there's no mention of what soda she drinks. She skips meals. So of course, eating more the rest of the time is not a huge deal. She fidgets a lot and I guess she's getting her 10000 steps a day or close?
For him, well, he walks to the station every day, he saves treats for lunch... I love how he rewards himself for his gym class with food... lol. But I ate a ridiculous amount of food and never gained weight either when I worked in the city and took the subway too...
Both eat homemade meals. Both eat very little sweets (really, a few cookies and a cupcake don't count).
I liked the bit about how we have a different approach to food if we call it a lunch or snack.
Love the piece of sleep because I keep seeing people who get 5 hours of sleep only so they can go to the gym and I'm still not sure it's actually a good choice...
Anyway, the takeaway for me is that activity has a HUGE role, which isn't really a surprise, and I'll still shake my head at the 'you can lose weight without being active' advice...
But the whole 'mindset' bit - sure, it's a mindset towards food that lets them self-regulate, but it comes from habit. Telling people who need to lose weight that they have to change their mindset is not that easy, as they would have to form the habit first. And there's no mention of how hungry they are. They eat less the day after they have bigger meals, but I know that, personally, I'm not always less hungry the next day...
The question really is 'how do you get that mindset?'. That's where it might be genetics (I don't believe in the 'low metabolism genes' BS). My kids are adopted and both my husband and I are overweight (I'll always be overweight in my mind because I definitely do not have the 'healthy weight' mindset), they snack a lot, but they are both on the lower BMI scale. They have that 'off switch'. We don't. Where does it come from? But I remember reading about that stuff when they were babies and how the way your parents feed you can have a role in it too (like adding rice in bottle can mess up babies hunger signals or how forcing them to finish a bottle can do that too). So maybe it's something that you acquire (or not) when you're a child? Clearly there needs to be more research about this.5 -
I would chime in here with a few things (and not sure that people are going to like this.....not too worried about that...coming from a good, healthy place):
1. Mindset
2. Self-discipline
3. Ownership
4. Honesty
So, with me EVERYTHING is mindset. Sure, easy to say that. What in the heck does that mean? Because that can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. We are all correct! Yup! Taking the easy way out on this.
For me, mindset means that there is a choice....whatever the context.....and I am going to make the best choice for me. And, that includes educating myself regarding <insert context here>. There are a lot of crazy ideas out in the world on just about every topic. Shoot! Pick one! People think the darndest things for the darndest reasons. Mostly, it is just plain ignorance. That is a good 'problem' to have. I can change that. Sure, there is a learning curve for everything. Sure, there is a lot of disinformation out there! Sure, there are a lot of people who have something to sell and that muddy the waters. Sure, we have decades of incorrect information (or, information that seems to change every two or three years). But, if my mindset is to educate myself on <insert context here> then you can bet the farm that I am going to be pretty dang educated on <insert context here>. It all starts here.
Self-discipline is another big thing for me. It seems that in today's world of instant gratification and "there is a pill for that" that a lot of people mistakenly believe that they can do whatever the heck they want to do and then take that magic pill and everything will be okay. BS. Do not get me started on that topic! I am going to move on or I will get banned from this place (I have VERY STRONG OPINIONS on this topic).
Ownership is another part of this. It seems today everyone is looking to point the finger at someone else. BS! Nobody is making me follow this diet, no one is putting a gun to my head and making me follow this training program. The whole "I was just doing what I was told to do by "that guy"" sentiment is the absolute incorrect mindset [see how I did that?!?! :-)]. But, I am a bit harsh and a bit 'cut and dry'....much more so that most. I just grow tired of excuses....the excuses that people make for themselves and that people make for everyone else! Now, not suggesting that we be rude to each other. Not suggesting that one bit. More to the contrary. We should all be kind to one another....we should all help and encourage each other. Just suggesting that we do not make or accept excuses. And, I do not want to hear about "she is 20....of course she looks good still". Age is not an excuse. It truly isn't. I would submit myself as the example for that. Age is just a number.....and an excuse (but not one that works with me).
And, all of the above assumes that there are no medical conditions involved at all. We all know that there are numerous medical conditions for which the medicine to combat that issue creates weight problems (thinking thyroid issues....that comes to mind immediately).
I am also suggesting, finally, that we are honest with each other and - most importantly - with ourselves. Going to use an example that might ruffle some feathers....not my intention and not the spirit of my words (or heart, for that matter)....but just because Size 16 jeans are the most sold womens' pant size does not make it okay to be in a Size 16 jean. You have to be honest with yourself.....
Anyway, this is simply my experience with lots of people and with myself. :-)
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serindipte wrote: »I'd be curious to see how they were raised. I bet they weren't pushed to be members of the 'clean plate club' or warned about starving kids in Asia/Africa. If I had to hazard a guess, their parents were likely active people, as well and family gatherings likely revolved more around interacting and games in the yard than stuffing their faces..
Maybe. Who knows.
I've been "naturally" lean most of my life. I was definitely a member of the "clean your plate club" but my parents never gave me huge plates of food...mostly it was the veggies sitting there that kept me in my chair longer than need be. We pretty much had 3 squares per day and snacking was and is still minimal. Family gatherings definitely involved food...back yard cookouts at my grandpa's or uncle's house were a pretty common Sunday thing...yes, we played games, but we definitely ate.
Activity wise, we walked the dog regularly as a family, but outside of that my parents weren't particularly active and they were overweight for most of my life. I was active in that I played a lot outside and rode bikes and skateboarded and was involved in competitive athletics from 2nd grade through my senior year in high school.
I remained very active throughout my 20s...I didn't own a car for much of that time so I walked or biked most places...even when I did have a car, it was usually more convenient for me to walk or bike to university from my apartment than to try to find parking.
My friends and I were pretty avid weekend hikers...we loved getting into the mountains and smoking weed and enjoying nature. I also worked retail, waited tables, and worked a few summers doing landscape construction.
All an all, I was pretty active and never gave a thought about food...hungry, then eat. I graduated when I was 30 and took a desk job...that's when my weight crept on. It was pretty slow though...about 50 Lbs over the course of 8 years.
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cwolfman13 wrote: »serindipte wrote: »I'd be curious to see how they were raised. I bet they weren't pushed to be members of the 'clean plate club' or warned about starving kids in Asia/Africa. If I had to hazard a guess, their parents were likely active people, as well and family gatherings likely revolved more around interacting and games in the yard than stuffing their faces..
Maybe. Who knows.
I've been "naturally" lean most of my life. I was definitely a member of the "clean your plate club" but my parents never gave me huge plates of food...mostly it was the veggies sitting there that kept me in my chair longer than need be. We pretty much had 3 squares per day and snacking was and is still minimal. Family gatherings definitely involved food...back yard cookouts at my grandpa's or uncle's house were a pretty common Sunday thing...yes, we played games, but we definitely ate.
Activity wise, we walked the dog regularly as a family, but outside of that my parents weren't particularly active and they were overweight for most of my life. I was active in that I played a lot outside and rode bikes and skateboarded and was involved in competitive athletics from 2nd grade through my senior year in high school.
I remained very active throughout my 20s...I didn't own a car for much of that time so I walked or biked most places...even when I did have a car, it was usually more convenient for me to walk or bike to university from my apartment than to try to find parking.
My friends and I were pretty avid weekend hikers...we loved getting into the mountains and smoking weed and enjoying nature. I also worked retail, waited tables, and worked a few summers doing landscape construction.
All an all, I was pretty active and never gave a thought about food...hungry, then eat. I graduated when I was 30 and took a desk job...that's when my weight crept on. It was pretty slow though...about 50 Lbs over the course of 8 years.
Thanks for the insight
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My cousin is naturally thin. It's because he talks so much he can't finish his meals and he burns so many calories flapping his jaw.14
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LiftHeavyThings27105 wrote: »I would chime in here with a few things (and not sure that people are going to like this.....not too worried about that...coming from a good, healthy place):
1. Mindset
2. Self-discipline
3. Ownership
4. Honesty
The topic is about naturally thin people who don't really put that sort of effort into it, not how people manage to maintain. Your list is conscious things people need to do to maintain. These people do it unconsciously,12 -
mulecanter wrote: »My cousin is naturally thin. It's because he talks so much he can't finish his meals and he burns so many calories flapping his jaw.
This will be my 10 year old as an adult.2 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »serindipte wrote: »I'd be curious to see how they were raised. I bet they weren't pushed to be members of the 'clean plate club' or warned about starving kids in Asia/Africa. If I had to hazard a guess, their parents were likely active people, as well and family gatherings likely revolved more around interacting and games in the yard than stuffing their faces..
Maybe. Who knows.
I've been "naturally" lean most of my life. I was definitely a member of the "clean your plate club" but my parents never gave me huge plates of food...mostly it was the veggies sitting there that kept me in my chair longer than need be. We pretty much had 3 squares per day and snacking was and is still minimal. Family gatherings definitely involved food...back yard cookouts at my grandpa's or uncle's house were a pretty common Sunday thing...yes, we played games, but we definitely ate.
Activity wise, we walked the dog regularly as a family, but outside of that my parents weren't particularly active and they were overweight for most of my life. I was active in that I played a lot outside and rode bikes and skateboarded and was involved in competitive athletics from 2nd grade through my senior year in high school.
I remained very active throughout my 20s...I didn't own a car for much of that time so I walked or biked most places...even when I did have a car, it was usually more convenient for me to walk or bike to university from my apartment than to try to find parking.
My friends and I were pretty avid weekend hikers...we loved getting into the mountains and smoking weed and enjoying nature. I also worked retail, waited tables, and worked a few summers doing landscape construction.
All an all, I was pretty active and never gave a thought about food...hungry, then eat. I graduated when I was 30 and took a desk job...that's when my weight crept on. It was pretty slow though...about 50 Lbs over the course of 8 years.
I could have written this exact same post except it was the meat that kept me at the dinner table for hours after everyone left. And my mom limited all candy to Saturday mornings. If I got a sucker from the bank, I had to put it in the candy jar. Then on Saturday mornings I could get the candy jar down and eat candy while watching cartoons. I think that's a reason I ate so much junk food when I became an adult. My activity level just allowed it to not be a problem. The desk job did me in.1 -
CarvedTones wrote: »LiftHeavyThings27105 wrote: »I would chime in here with a few things (and not sure that people are going to like this.....not too worried about that...coming from a good, healthy place):
1. Mindset
2. Self-discipline
3. Ownership
4. Honesty
The topic is about naturally thin people who don't really put that sort of effort into it, not how people manage to maintain. Your list is conscious things people need to do to maintain. These people do it unconsciously,
Dang it....missed that boat! Please excuse the rant!3 -
No one has mentioned their digestive biome possibly being more diverse? Not something to be considered on here.15
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I was always so slim until I hit 45 ish.. then it began....1
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Yeah, I agree that it's not just about food either. I don't think that inactive people truly realize how active some people are. Conversely, I don't think that active people realize how sedentary some people can be. And I am not talking about "exercise" activities like running, biking, lifting etc. I am talking about moving in general. Some people just move a lot more than others and it matters a lot.
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I'd say, lowering carbs has worked out best. Not easy though, if you have a sweet tooth like me!11
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I was slim to 25, then had one balloon up about 40# and lose it quickly event, then was fit but technically 8-15# overweight until mid to late 30s. Since age 40 I have been slightly overweight at best but usually more than slightly with weights that put me in the 28-33 BMI range. Now at age 59, I have now been below 25 on BMI for almost 3 months for the first time in over 30 years. A more sedentary lifestyle is a big part of it, but I also had trouble with binge eating which I never had when I was younger. That was definitely correlated to episodes of bipolar depression, a diagnosis I refused to accept for a long time. My weight loss and (so far) successful maintenance correlates with accepting the diagnosis and getting proper treatment.2
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lporter229 wrote: »Yeah, I agree that it's not just about food either. I don't think that inactive people truly realize how active some people are. Conversely, I don't think that active people realize how sedentary some people can be. And I am not talking about "exercise" activities like running, biking, lifting etc. I am talking about moving in general. Some people just move a lot more than others and it matters a lot.
I agree with this 100%
I've also been naturally slim all of my life. I originally joined MFP to lose some vanity weight and reactivated my account this year after switching jobs. I went from a job where I was on my feet all day to spending 50hrs/week at a desk. Not only am I moving less, my appetite has increased because I'm bored at work. The busier and more active I am, the less I snack. So it was no surprise when my clothes no longer fit.
I'm now back to my normal range but it now takes conscious effort to maintain it - as opposed to before
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flywarrior wrote: »I'd say, lowering carbs has worked out best. Not easy though, if you have a sweet tooth like me!
Lowering carbs has nothing to do with this topic. And you don't lose weight/maintain weight by lowering carbs, you do it by lowering calories.21 -
I agree with others that activity plays a huge role, not exercise but just moving in general. I never had a problem with my weight, until I got a desk job. And I wore a fit bit regularly for a while and I noticed that on days where I got a lot of steps, it gave me a LOT more calories. moving a lot makes a big difference.4
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I still think there IS something more than calories in/calories out to certain cases of why some people put on weight more easily than others, at earlier ages, and so on. I know the general consensus here is that there's nothing to it except "woo"...so, whatever.
I think a lot of adult women do not eat much at all. I know a ton of slim women who literally eat one meal a day and it's half of a chicken sandwich at Chick-Fil-A and 5 grapes from their child's fruit cup. I think a lot of heavier women do the same thing, just snacking more frequently, and then don't know why they aren't slim when they are "eating the same as their friend".
I was always more of a 3-meals-a-day person but I know I used to try to eat the absolute least amount of food because that just seemed like what all the other women were doing, and then I'd have bigger portions at dinner with my husband and drink a crazy amount of calories in milk, lattes, etc. A lot of people are like I was and DO NOT have a clue about calories. If I had to guess 10 years ago I would have thought 2% milk was more similar in calorie content to Diet Coke, not a milkshake.
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xbowhunter wrote: »Very interesting.
Me.
Ages
0 to 15 underweight because I really didn't care about food & only ate when I needed to.
15 to 35 overweight after meeting my Italian wife & eating too much high Carb Italian foods.
35 to 49 Yoyo dieted from obese back to normal weight several times & didn't really know why.
Fast forward to today. Since January of this year did my research & studied the science behind Macro's and foods to completely remove from my diet because frankly they will kill me some-day.
Bingo it's like a light switch went on.
Now I'm back to a normal BMI level & completely understand how I did it & how to maintain it.
Knowledge is power!!
@xbowhunter
I’d love to know more about what you removed from your diet. I am taking a similar approach. Would be interesting to share our findings.0 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »I still think there IS something more than calories in/calories out to certain cases of why some people put on weight more easily than others, at earlier ages, and so on. I know the general consensus here is that there's nothing to it except "woo"...so, whatever.
I think a lot of adult women do not eat much at all. I know a ton of slim women who literally eat one meal a day and it's half of a chicken sandwich at Chick-Fil-A and 5 grapes from their child's fruit cup. I think a lot of heavier women do the same thing, just snacking more frequently, and then don't know why they aren't slim when they are "eating the same as their friend".
I was always more of a 3-meals-a-day person but I know I used to try to eat the absolute least amount of food because that just seemed like what all the other women were doing, and then I'd have bigger portions at dinner with my husband and drink a crazy amount of calories in milk, lattes, etc. A lot of people are like I was and DO NOT have a clue about calories. If I had to guess 10 years ago I would have thought 2% milk was more similar in calorie content to Diet Coke, not a milkshake.
It's amazing what people (myself included during some years) think is a harmless snack or addition to a meal. One of my bad ones was nuts and raisins; a few of each combined to make a small handful that I finished in maybe two bites; no big deal, right? Probably 100 calories and since I though of it as practically nothing, getting another later was also no big deal. But sometimes it might have been five "nothings" a day. I have seen people complain about not losing weight on salads they get from the salad bar and they put a big scoop of blue cheese dressing on it. I was the same way about 2% milk; drinking it was like a diet drink to me. Some Ovaltine didn't make much difference in my mind either. the binges I knew were bad, but sometimes I didn't realize how bad. I would think of them as about equivalent to a meal, skipping one to make up for it, when it was more like a day and a half worth of calories, sometimes more.9 -
I come from a southern family. Fried foods, comfort foods ect. My father and mother were children of the 60's and 70's. They were slim in their youth. Though with the passage of time, they both put on weight. My father could have cared less, though my mother has yoyo dieted since the early 90's. I was an active youth, but always been heavy. My sister was the same. We both were extremely active in hs. Multiple sports and activities. I was extremely active in college. Played American football and walked everywhere. I was just taking in 5000+ calories a day to maintain my weight, still heavy though. When I left college, I still had a very active job, just continued to eat loads of fast food and fried foods/ comfort food. Weight began slowly creep. I just paid no attention. Then started a night job indoors for years and began hedonistic eating, and got married. Weight just flew up. I watched my brother in law, who is naturally thin last night at my brothers bday party. They were having fried shrimp and crab legs. I noticed the difference between him and my obese brother, who was actually a thin child and teenager. My brother just loaded up his plate and went to town. My brother and law got 4 shrimp, a small cluster of crab legs, no butter, some cole slaw and ate slowly. Everything was almost methodical. Then came the icecream. My brother loaded his up with syrup and extra cherries. My brother and law got a small portion with nothing added and slowly ate his. It's creepy that I watch him, but it is interesting insite.19
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