Having to Starve To Maintain Post Anorexia Recovery Weight HELP!!

sophiegarcia411

Okay I really need help with this problem because I'm at my wit's end. I literally can't take this anymore.

Here's the basics, years ago I slipped into anorexia. I started at an unhealthy weight of 150 lbs and I'm about 5"5. I ate horribly and never worked out, but then I started to work out and diet. I ran on an elliptical pretty hard for about 1.5-2 hours on a daily basis and ate around 900-1000 calories. Within two 1/2 years I had gotten down to 95 lbs. My liver functions started to mess up so I decided to gain weight. I did not go into a hospital or treatment program. I upped my calories to 1900-2000 calories a day and still worked out on the elliptical for about an hour a day. Since June I was gaining 2 lbs EXACTLY every four days. Like I would be 100 then four days later 104, four days later 108. I wanted to reach a weight of about 120 which I did. The only problem is even when I dropped my calories back down to 1650 and started working out 2 hours and even doing some light weight work I am still gaining. The problem is to STAY at 120 I have to work out every day really hard for two hours and eat no more than 1700 calories. I'm 19 years old and I have what seems like NO metabolism. I've been to MANY doctors and specialist and one said I should be technically burning 3000 calories a day. I want to be able to stay at this weight (the doctors all agree that I should NOT gain anymore) but I want to be able to enjoy life and eating again. I want to be able to have a bit of an indulgence. I don't want to exercise like this anymore. If I even eat 100 or so calories over I WILL gain weight over night and it'll take a week or so to get it back down to 120 again and even then it might go up 3-4 pounds over night even when I'm not PMSing.
I've had my thyroid checked and my blood checked and it all came back fine. Has anyone else had this problem? Am I stuck starving and working myself for the rest of my life?
It was okay to be gaining when I was 100 some pounds but now I'm on my way to being overweight again. According to my doctors I should be losing a LOT of weight on this diet.
Please someone who knows about this help me. Please do not tell me oh you need therapy or don't focus on the weight because I do. I have a therapist but at this point it's a health concern even the doctor's say that.

pinggolfer96

You need to see a registered dietician and possibly a therapist regarding your disorder with fitness and food. This forum is not a source of solutions to the problem you have. I’m just being blunt and honest to help you that the first couple sentences gave away that your mentality and obsessions are disordered

cmriverside

Call your doctor and get a referral to an inpatient eating disorder treatment. The way you're going is really bad for you, both mentally and physically.

Your obsessive anxiety and misguided thinking is the problem. 100 calories one way or the other will not lead to weight gain or loss - that's in the margin of error for all of us.

collectingblues

I'll say here what I said in your now-deleted post on the maintaining forum.

1) You need a dietitian.

2) Are you accurately tracking your intake?

3) You need to establish reasonable expectations. Weight fluctuations are absolutely normal, and a 3-4 pound blip that comes off within a week is *nothing*. That's a normal fluctuation, and that's your glycogen getting rebuilt. It's your eating disorder that's telling you it's a problem, and it's horrifying that your doctors agree with it. So you're either not being honest here, or you have horrible doctors who are perpetuating the feeling that any weight gain is bad.

4) You claim that they're trying to keep you at a BMI no higher than 20 -- and that's a BMI that in eating disorder treatment is generally considered the *lowest* acceptable weight. For perspective, I'm also in recovery, and I've been told the *lowest* I should go is 118 -- and that's with my being an inch shorter than you.

5) Along the BMI route ... You were at a BMI of 25 when you were 150 pounds. So you were heavier, but you weren't "unhealthy". Again: That's your eating disorder telling you that. You need to work with your therapist to figure out how to get those voices to be quiet.

6) Why is it that you're worrying about being overweight again when you're 31 pounds away from being overweight, yet only being 8 pounds away from being underweight? Why aren't you also worrying about being underweight again, considering that's the closer concern? Worse, why do your *doctors* feel this way? Are you sure that's what they said, or is it simply what you wanted to hear?

4legsRbetterthan2

Dear Posters,

I wanted to offer a brief explanation for the locking of this thread.

The forum guidelines include this item:

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4legs
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