The Naysayers on Weight Loss

nishbaybe92

Hey everyone! I'm at a point where I've lost 80lbs and I'm feeling so much better about myself!

However, I'm noticing that people in my life seem to feel the need to make negative comments.

Im only 5ft tall, so a normal, healthy weight for me is between 97-128lbs. I started at 204. I'm at 125 currently and would like to be between 105-110. But I have people in my ear telling me I'm losing too much weight, or that I'm sickly looking. They tell me i need to gain the weight back because I look too fragile.

I don't think I look sickly at all. My diet is healthy and balanced. I'm exercising more. I feel stronger and more confident.

It can be so disheartening when you've put in so much effort, and the only thing people have to say is something negative. I was super unhealthy before, and i can't believe people are telling me I looked better when I was unhealthy. My back and joints hurt constantly. I was lethargic and at high risk for diabetes. I had high blood pressure and was horribly depressed. I'm trying to better my life, but naysayers feel like they need to give input.

Does anyone else have to deal with this? What are your stories?

(Please feel free to add me! I'd love more friends to share in our successes with!)

dhiammarath

NEVER let anyone take away your awesome! Only you know how you feel! My ultimate goal weight is to be squarely in the middle of my healthy BMI for a 5'5 person and when I tell people, the automatic response is "you'll be anorexic looking!"

I shrug. #longhairdon'tcare

It's not about them, it's about me. Do you. Be awesome. Don't let anyone try to take your awesome away! Certainly, don't get disheartened by someone else's comments. Find new people who will support you if need be!

kkimpel

I noticed on a different discussion you spoke about the issue prior to weight loss with your mom. Family is a lot harder to choose than friends. If friends talk to you like that, get new friends! This book helped me a lot with what to do about loved ones that sabotage efforts at living positive:

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Blackmail-People-Obligation-Manipulate/dp/0060928972/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527785814&sr=8-1&keywords=emotional+blackmail+by+susan+forward&dpID=51haWjuzYqL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

88olds

Congratulations on the loss. Great work.

Weight loss is a solitary pursuit. We just have to go our own way.

When I got the “You’re not planning to lose more are you?” I recalled this- when I had HBP, a CPAP, debilitating back pain and seemingly permanent cough, no one ever commented that I was putting my life at risk, although I clearly was. But when I lost about 90 lbs of the 110 I’ve lost, folks were suddenly concerned about my weight. It was nonsense. I can’t explain it. But it was nonsense. I tuned it out.

tulips_and_tea

Wow, congrats on your success! That's great!

Random, unsolicited comments from others need to be ignored. You said you're happy with yourself (as you should be!) so what others think doesn't matter. Depending on the person and the situation, you may want to let them know that commenting about YOUR body is inappropriate and needs to stop.

Keep at it - you're doing great!

quiksylver296

People aren't used to how you look. They are used to you 80 pounds heavier. That's why you look "sickly" to them. Give them time to adjust. They'll stop making the comments once their internal picture of you is the new skinny you and not the old heavier you.

Grimmerick

If they are overweight or unhealthy in some way like a smoker, I find it's best to redirect. something like "Hey I am glad you care enough about me to bring this up, I'm actually in a healthy range and feeling great, but I do want to bring up something with you because I care about you too" then just proceed to lay into them about their issues and your concerns for them. Remember be caring and sincere

AnnPT77

The generous interpretation is that people who know us well are used to us looking a certain way . . . when we lose a good bit of weight, we look "wrong" for a while, just because we look different. Another factor (for some, and certainly for me) was that when initially losing weight, we can have some facial/neck loose skin and maybe look a bit haggard at first. After a while in maintenance - even at the same weight - that improves, and we look better/healthier.

Either way (and even if one of the negative interpretations like guilt or envy is accurate), hang in there, people will get over it in time.