Self-sabotage?

Hungry_Shopgirl

Hey guys,

This month I've been working very hard to try and start losing the last 10lbs once and for all after a 50lb loss in 2015-2016 and a 1.5 year maintenance period.

I logged everything minutely except for the oxygen I breathe lol And I had three perfect weeks. I even included a refeed day in there, which didn't hinder my progress at all.

Two days ago after being bloated for days I woke up feeling and looking the leanest ever. I was ecstatic! I could even swear my tummy was finally somewhat flat, for the first time since.... the fourth grade maybe? It felt amazing.

Then I proceeded to overeat. In total between the two days I'm over by 3196 calories. That doesn't sound like much but I'm scared I'm going to overeat again today and just undo the progress of the last three weeks.....

Anybody been in my shoes before? Got any advice?

Stats: female, 30yo 1.88 cm which I think is 6'1". SW: 105 kg (2015). CW: 80~81 kg. BMI: 22.6. GW: at this point I've been at 80 for so long that 79 or 78 would be a victory for me! Strength train 4x a a week, try to do 10k steps a day.

kommodevaran

Your weight naturally fluctuates from day to day, so your weight is always a range, not a number, the reading on the scale is just a snapshot.

The last pounds are the slowest, because you don't have the fat stores to create a big calorie deficit anymore. The law of diminishing returns is at play here - you'll have to put in more and more effort for less and less result. Everybody has to draw the line somewhere, you decide where to draw yours. To continue at this stage, you need - at the very least - more patience and accuracy.

Aiming for perfection is the recipe for failure.

If weightloss is your only motivation, you'll lose that motivation as soon as the weight is lost.

I really don't want to try to tell you what you should do. But you need to get to terms with how things are and work.

Hungry_Shopgirl

kommodevaran wrote: »

Everybody has to draw the line somewhere, you decide where to draw yours.

That's very well said. Thank you for your articulate and thoughtful reply.

And you're absolutely right about the law of diminishing results. Some days I feel like I'm putting in a full-time job's worth of hours in meal planning, tracking and exercising. And then I ruin it with days like these. Whereas the first 50lbs just kind of "happened".

I wish I could find a way to fit this into my life like I see that others do. They talk about "a cut" here or there like it's nothing. Truth is I know how to maintain my current weight, which is low and healthy...and trying for a flat stomach has me bingeing and obsessing. But man o man would I love to have that just for once in my life!

88olds

Just from observation, for a while I had a trainer whose training business partner did bikini competitions. You talk about obsession- that seemed to be it exactly. Her life was one big well managed obsession. She loved it. From what I could see, she had to love to do it.

Not saying you’re looking for the same level as a bikini competition, but do you count macros? Do you want to count macros? Can you be happy counting macros?

This board is filled with folks who wish they weighed less but loath the weight loss process. Can you make friends with the high level of fitness process?

You call it sabotage. You’re conflicted. Part of you wants the result, part of you rebels against the process. Can you add patience and find a livable process that works for you? Look around the gym, you can see it. Lots of folks love the workouts, the diet, not so much.