Psychological Hurdles

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  • Rocknut53
    Rocknut53 Posts: 1,794 Member
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    jcello65 wrote: »
    I also deal with major depression as well as anxiety. Exercise is so helpful in keeping my mental health manageable, but I have a hard time making that happen without the support of others. At the same time, the depression and anxiety cause a fair amount of avoidance and isolation, making it hard for me to get that support unless the other person gets it and encourage me/holds me accountable. Right now, I have a pretty great boxing gym that has helped on all fronts, and it's always helpful to see these posts :) Things are a little rougher than they've been in a while, and body image issues had been a relative non-issue in the past but seem to have crept in over the last couple of years.
    @GravisMetus : I'm glad you are doing better, and thank you for starting this thread :)

    Wow, I could have written this...only I have no support other than MFP. Probably my fault due to the avoidance and isolation thing I've had going on for several months now. Can't seem to pull it together right now.
  • Xerogs
    Xerogs Posts: 328 Member
    edited June 2018
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    There are a few things that have stuck with me recently. First and foremost my Every Day Art instructor who taught us to incorporate the practice of sitting meditation into our creative process always said "On the days you really don't want to sit on the cushion are the days you need it the most so just do it, there is nothing holding yourself back except yourself" As a testament to what she said on those days when the last thing I was to do is meditate but I do it anyway are always the most productive and calming and I get more out of it for sure.

    I try to walk daily with no distractions (music, phone, etc.) and just take where I am at and all the things happening around me, stop and take notice and just marvel. Sometimes just seeing some wildlife or a particularly stunning sunrise or sunset centers me almost as much as meditation (or mindfulness). Exercise just helps, its an accomplishment, it clears my head, and it physically tires me out so I sleep better. I don't take my sleep for granted and try to keep a routine, I've found that way too much sleep makes me not want to engage with the world so I force myself to get up and get moving. Make your bed daily even if its just straightening out blankets its an accomplishment, it's a feather you can put in your cap everyday so even on the crap days you say to yourself "At least I made my bed today" it seems trivial but it works for me.

    My rescue dogs are a huge part of my life and they always brighten my day. They are a constant reminder to keep things simple and they rely on me to take care of them, so it's worth it to do all these little things I listed above even if its just to make their lives happy and in turn it snaps me out of negative thoughts and emotions.

    These are just some things I do but if you have a serious depression or anxiety definitely seek out help. Starting small with little things might give you the motivation to take a step in that direction. I hit a point in my life where I was in so much turmoil I figured I would just try things that weren't self destructive and really reduce my stress as much as possible. So far so good, I don't think I will ever be completely without depression and stress but its more manageable for me these days.
  • GravisMetus
    GravisMetus Posts: 13 Member
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    Wow you guys are an inspiration! Thanks so much for sharing your stories.

    Part of my problem is I have this anxiety over making the correct decision especially when it comes to the gym. For instance I want to go to the gym right now. But I seize up. Because I start spiraling thinking what should I do? What’s the right work out? Will I do it right? Will I be successful? So I panic and then I don’t go. Because making the “wrong” decision in my mind will be catastrophic.
  • jcello65
    jcello65 Posts: 23 Member
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    That all sounds too familiar :/
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    Give yourself permission not to go to the gym. I have to drive a long distance to actually get there and during the long winters with icy roads, snow, blizzards...it was just a dread. I decided to take it back outside. Summer or winter, I do things I want to do on my own terms. Many create their own gym at home, would that work?
  • jcello65
    jcello65 Posts: 23 Member
    edited June 2018
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    Cognitive behavioral therapy often helps me to reframe some of the irrational or unlikely anxious thoughts. Imagining the worst case scenario and weighing the consequences of whatever that might be against the consequences of avoiding something that I want or need to do can help a lot as well. I can post resources if anyone would like.
    I try to stick to simple, straight forward stuff at the gym and go in with a plan.
    And as Mari22na said, don't feel like the gym is the only way. There are no inherent rules to this. Just find the things that work. :)
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited June 2018
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    The course that helped me most, psychologically, with weight loss is a course developed out of Stanford, now managed by the "Self Management Resource Centre". There's a resource book, "Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions" that's very helpful.

    The key was to remove the weight loss project from the realm of emotion and do simple troubleshooting techniques to gradually get better at weight loss over time.

    https://www.selfmanagementresource.com/resources/program-materials

    I like that. Remove the weight loss project from the realm of emotion. I'd like to ask you something. I threw all of my Befores in the bin and I'm happy about it. I tried the side by side for years and they never motivated me. I plastered photos of celebrities all over the house. No motivation. I could look right through myself and those photos, no longer seeing them. Just one big blur. The emotions stirred up were body shaming. Just look at what you've done to yourself with more discouragement or throwing the towel in. You don't want to look like that again with more name calling to myself.


    I started to think about 'normal' people without any issues with weight. A good relationship with food. They're not motivated by Befores or Afters, in fact they don't take before and after belly/body selfies. They simply enjoy living in the moment. Present. If they take a photo with others it has no weight loss project associated with it whatsoever. Weight loss projects are not the theme song running in the background of their minds all the live long day.

    Diets and gyms, restrictive eating protocols, befores and afters stir up all kinds of emotions with stress and competition and challenges and comparison. I stopped looking at instagram dieting stars that eat one bowl of food aday trying to convince others they really do eat. I have eyes and I can tell there's a whole lotta wool being pulled over their own eyes.
    There's so much disordered eating being shoved down everyone's gullet as the pathway to healing. This is not a diet, you eat twigs, pinecones, dirt and old tennis shoes and call it a lifestyle change. Keep telling yourself this is not a diet.

    I don't want to go out like that. So I started asking myself, WWND. What would non-dieter do.

    They give themselves permission to do everything on their own terms. They set themselves free from food prison. They don't measure happiness by the size of their belly. They simply live without a weight loss project being the apex and pinnacle of their lives. I choose that. Thanks for listening. I think you've given me the words to frame what I've been working on.
  • HeyJudii
    HeyJudii Posts: 264 Member
    edited June 2018
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    I wish there was a better "forum" for this here. Once threads get to have thousands of posts, individuals just get lost imo.
    Anyway, the hardest thing for me to do is "get up and move" when all I want to do is pull the covers over my head, and wish I could turn myself off and put myself away until the chemicals balance themselves out again.

    But, trying to get physically healthier, plus receiving a Fitbit for Christmas (I am a techno geek, so a new toy really had me psyched, and of course being an "all or nothing" type person I got super in to it) I found that as I ran (pun intended) after those green indicators on my Fitbit, even when at my most low, I eventually felt better. Not great, but at least I was functional. I spent 2 years basically in bed watching videos, playing Spider Solitaire and eating, so this is definitely better.

    ETA: While we aren't members of the medical or scientific community, a relative and I that share the same diagnosis were discussing how being physically active, while seeming counterintuitive, might be burning off the excess chemicals and/or causing other chemicals to increase, that are at the root of our symptoms.
  • GravisMetus
    GravisMetus Posts: 13 Member
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    HeyJudii wrote: »
    I wish there was a better "forum" for this here. Once threads get to have thousands of posts, individuals just get lost imo.

    Yeah. Sad face. Perhaps we make a new thread a week? Or can we petition for specific category?
  • GravisMetus
    GravisMetus Posts: 13 Member
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    jcello65 wrote: »
    Cognitive behavioral therapy often helps me to reframe some of the irrational or unlikely anxious thoughts. Imagining the worst case scenario and weighing the consequences of whatever that might be against the consequences of avoiding something that I want or need to do can help a lot as well. I can post resources if anyone would like.
    I try to stick to simple, straight forward stuff at the gym and go in with a plan.
    And as Mari22na said, don't feel like the gym is the only way. There are no inherent rules to this. Just find the things that work. :)

    Please post more resources!

  • GravisMetus
    GravisMetus Posts: 13 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    The course that helped me most, psychologically, with weight loss is a course developed out of Stanford, now managed by the "Self Management Resource Centre". There's a resource book, "Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions" that's very helpful.

    The key was to remove the weight loss project from the realm of emotion and do simple troubleshooting techniques to gradually get better at weight loss over time.

    https://www.selfmanagementresource.com/resources/program-materials


    My therapist has always been against cognitive behaviors therapy as a main source of therapy. But I’ve often wanted to try it along side my main therapy.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,978 Member
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    HeyJudii wrote: »
    I wish there was a better "forum" for this here. Once threads get to have thousands of posts, individuals just get lost imo.

    Yeah. Sad face. Perhaps we make a new thread a week? Or can we petition for specific category?

    You can create a "group" and invite folks to join. This gives a separate message board away from the general public.
  • AudreyJDuke
    AudreyJDuke Posts: 1,092 Member
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    These are such great posts, the support and knowledge here is incredible.
  • madwells1
    madwells1 Posts: 510 Member
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    CBT helped me tremendously for anxiety issues. You should give it a shot.


  • jckoehn11
    jckoehn11 Posts: 4 Member
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    I am glad that I found this board. I am looking forward to starting this journey. I know it will have a lot of highs and lows but this group is going to be helpful
  • GravisMetus
    GravisMetus Posts: 13 Member
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    kami3006 wrote: »
    HeyJudii wrote: »
    I wish there was a better "forum" for this here. Once threads get to have thousands of posts, individuals just get lost imo.

    Yeah. Sad face. Perhaps we make a new thread a week? Or can we petition for specific category?

    You can create a "group" and invite folks to join. This gives a separate message board away from the general public.


    I just did! I will invite everyone!
  • thelegendofsakura89
    thelegendofsakura89 Posts: 105 Member
    edited June 2018
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    I suffered from major depression, anxiety, and alcoholism for years...I would always make an attempt to lose weight, and I'd stick to it for a few weeks or even a few months, then my mental health issues would kick my *kitten* and I'd be right back to where I started.
    I was hospitalized almost 2 years ago and it saved my life. Ive been sober ever since, and CBT along with medication turned me right around. I'm off the medication now cause it ended up making me feel worse...but I'm doing much better and I feel like a "normal" person for the first time in my life.

    I'm glad you're doing better dude. Send me an add if you'd like.