How do you maintain a social life while counting calories?? Any frequent happy-hour goers?
EllieElla2015
Posts: 67 Member
Hi guys :-) You might remember me, since I pop on and off. I always end up leaving MFP after a few weeks because it just effects my social life-not that it's MFPs fault...I just hate logging the food that comes with bars, restaurants, etc. because there's just no working around it. I'm at an good weight (for me) now but not my smallest and I would like to lose 7-ish more pounds. It's only day 2 of being back on MFP and I'm already feeling discouraged. I was supposed to go out to dinner and drinks today, but that easily would've been 1000 calorie outing. 2 drinks (and I drink straight liquor, so no sugary drinks to swap), a shared app, a meal and a dessert and bam no progress for the day.
I eat out Sunday - Thursday with my boyfriend, and yes I can go for salad every time but who really wants to eat salad every day?? Especially with a restaurant bill. So eventually I just think counting calories consistently isn't for me and I'll just come back on whenever things get out of control (aka now lol). That said, I would love to consistently count my calories but I really get discouraged knowing my social life will take a hit- less happy hours, less dinners, less brunches
.Especially with work, there's always something to celebrate w/ drinks or food.
How did you guys deal with the natural transition of eating in (instead of out) and the effects on your social life?
I eat out Sunday - Thursday with my boyfriend, and yes I can go for salad every time but who really wants to eat salad every day?? Especially with a restaurant bill. So eventually I just think counting calories consistently isn't for me and I'll just come back on whenever things get out of control (aka now lol). That said, I would love to consistently count my calories but I really get discouraged knowing my social life will take a hit- less happy hours, less dinners, less brunches
.Especially with work, there's always something to celebrate w/ drinks or food.How did you guys deal with the natural transition of eating in (instead of out) and the effects on your social life?
9
Replies
-
I’m fairly new to MFP, but I have had dinner engagements, for cocktails I limited myself to one glass of Pinot Grigio which is low sugar, and only 120calories, and ate small portion appetizers that were not fried and met my guidelines for my diet plan. I managed to stay within my daily calorie goals (under actually) and enjoy a nice meal.
One tip I would suggest - look up the restaurants nutritional chart prior to going to a social gathering - decide what you can have and what amount of said items you should allow yourself to eat or drink. (For example, one item has 800 calories, and if this would bring you over your daily goal, you would allow yourself only a portion of that item). Some restaurants may not offer nutritional information online, so you may have to do some of your own investigating on those items through different sources. It sounds like a headache but it does work.
There’s always a way, it just may take a bit of getting used to the extra steps involved in these scenarios.
6 -
One of the reasons that people gain weight as they get older is that they spend a good part of their twenties and thirties and forties and.... eating out, going for drinks, celebrating, and in general ingesting more calories than they manage to spend during the same time frame.
Different things matter to us at different points in our lives. And we tend make trade-offs to accommodate what, in actual fact, matters to us, as opposed to what we *state* matters to us, or what we *think ought* to matter to us.
As you're no doubt starting to realize, the inevitable endpoint of your current eating habits will have your maintaining at a higher weight than where you think you ought to maintain at.
When the weight issue outweighs (pun intended) the social adjustment issue for you... then you will discover what you're willing to adjust.
24 -
One of the reasons that people gain weight as they get older is that they spend a good part of their twenties and thirties and forties and.... eating out, going for drinks, celebrating, and in general ingesting more calories than they manage to spend during the same time frame.
Different things matter to us at different points in our lives. And we tend make trade-offs to accommodate what, in actual fact, matters to us, as opposed to what we *state* matters to us, or what we *think ought* to matter to us.
As you're no doubt starting to realize, the inevitable endpoint of your current eating habits will have your maintaining at a higher weight than where you think you ought to maintain at.
When the weight issue outweighs (pun intended) the social adjustment issue for you... then you will discover what you're willing to adjust.
That was very insightful advice!
2 -
I'm going out / having guests 2 days a week on average, and yes, those days I get a lot more than my 1300 calories.
I do 5:2 to balance it out I dont have a lot to lose, and this had made me able to get a slow, steady loss with noone noticing that I'm "dieting"
I'm quite sure, that I can ea like I do no for the next several years, so maintenance shouldn't be a problem either1 -
I think you can find a better balance between "just salad" and "2 drinks, a shared app, a meal, and a dessert." Even at my highest weight, that latter option would make me uncomfortably stuffed. I find that it takes me about a month to get used to eating lower calories, and then I truly don't want the large portions. That doesn't mean I still don't want all the delicious foods, but I find I'm just as satisfied with 5 chicken wings as I used to be with 10, or 2 slices of pizza rather than 4.
I do eat out for dinner a lot. If I know I'm going out, I eat lighter the rest of the day. Most of the time I skip breakfast- the whole "jump starting your metabolism" thing is a myth. It doesn't matter what time of day you eat your calories. I eat a lighter lunch and save most of my calories for evening when I really want them and can enjoy them.
As far as drinks, if it's a situation where I'm just going to have one or two and not even really get a good buzz going, I think it's a waste of calories and will just order a diet coke instead. If it's a social situation where we're going to be drinking a lot (i.e a pub crawl, a night out, etc.) then I'll save more calories for drinks.
You can also spend a bit more time in the gym if you want more calories to eat. If you've currently set an aggressive goal and only get 1200 calories, you might try setting your goal to lose .5 pounds per week so you can get more calories each day and make this fit into your current lifestyle better. Yes, it will be slower, but much better than the on again/off again method where you really don't lose anything in the long run.
Try skipping the appetizer and dessert and just have the meal, or even half the meal. Restaurant meals are usually huge. Two straight liquor drinks aren't that many calories compared to the food you're eating. If you're really craving the dessert, just order dessert or have salad and dessert. If the appetizer food is what you really want, have that as your meal.
Some people have success with doing one "cheat day" or "spike day" per week. You might find that works for you so you don't feel like you're counting/watching every single time you go out.
I'm going to a concert tomorrow and meeting friends for drinks and food first. I plan to get in a good workout in the morning. I'm planning to order a delicious and "unhealthy" appetizer for dinner but remind myself to stop eating when I'm full rather than finishing the whole plate just because. I'll stick to vodka sodas for lower calorie drinks. This doesn't feel like being deprived to me. You have to figure out what you are and aren't willing to give up.
11 -
Sounds like you need to decide what's more important to you. Losing those last 7 pounds or eating out 5 nights a week. If you want both then get real...Order the salad sometimes, skip the dessert, drink less, count calories.13
-
Doesn't it get expensive to eat out to that degree five nights a week?8
-
EllieElla2015 wrote: »Hi guys :-) You might remember me, since I pop on and off. I always end up leaving MFP after a few weeks because it just effects my social life-not that it's MFPs fault...I just hate logging the food that comes with bars, restaurants, etc. because there's just no working around it. I'm at an good weight (for me) now but not my smallest and I would like to lose 7-ish more pounds. It's only day 2 of being back on MFP and I'm already feeling discouraged. I was supposed to go out to dinner and drinks today, but that easily would've been 1000 calorie outing. 2 drinks (and I drink straight liquor, so no sugary drinks to swap), a shared app, a meal and a dessert and bam no progress for the day.
I eat out Sunday - Thursday with my boyfriend, and yes I can go for salad every time but who really wants to eat salad every day?? Especially with a restaurant bill. So eventually I just think counting calories consistently isn't for me and I'll just come back on whenever things get out of control (aka now lol). That said, I would love to consistently count my calories but I really get discouraged knowing my social life will take a hit- less happy hours, less dinners, less brunches .Especially with work, there's always something to celebrate w/ drinks or food.
How did you guys deal with the natural transition of eating in (instead of out) and the effects on your social life?
I have a few tricks up my sleeves. In fact, I usually choose between these 3 options, it all depends on the situation I am in.
Option 1: I am currently eating at 2400 calories, so if I knew I was going to a restaurant tonight, I'd be eating 1400 calories throughout the day (mainly lean proteins and keeping my carbs and fats low) and leave 1000 calories for my outing.
Option 2: If it's a wedding or a family gathering where I know I'll be eating like a big pig and I have no control over what I eat. I would do IF, eat only lean proteins (egg whites, protein shakes, chicken, tuna) until I hit my 0,8g of protein per pound goal and since my carbs and fats are close to 0, I can then enjoy eating that night without guilt.
Option 3: I do not tweak anything in my diet, I enjoy my evening and that's it. Even if I do wake up heavier the following day, I am still on pace to reach my goal.
As a guy, it's easier for me to get away with it since we (men) tend to have a higher metabolism than women. If I were in your shoes, it's tough to incorporate what I do with few calories unless you go to the restaurant and chose really light food like salad...and even salad is filled with all kinds of calories at restaurants. In the end, you make your choices, it seems your social outings is more important than your diet, so don't feel bad and depressed when it comes back to haunt you. There's nothing wrong with going out, but if you're going to overeat just for those outings, you basically made your choice.5 -
You could cut eat a fork of the appetizer and the dessert, and knock off about 400 calories right there, probably. That's a lot of eating out. Can you vary the type of restaurants? It doesn't have to be just salad, but some types of cuisine have more calories than others. Can you invite people over on one of those nights and plan a menu that fits into your calories for the day?
The fact that you are at a healthy weight for you is actually very encouraging. It means that even eating out 5 days a week you are able to do it without gaining (as long as you continue to do what you are doing). If you want to lose those seven pounds you'll need to make changes.
ETA: Your title assumes that a "social life" needs to involve eating out. It doesn't. You could invite people to your home and control what gets served. You could also do other things with people that don't involve eating a full meal. Such as coffee, drinks or just dessert. Or something active that doesn't include eating period, such as hiking or bowling, or visiting a museum, movies or show.7 -
One of the reasons that people gain weight as they get older is that they spend a good part of their twenties and thirties and forties and.... eating out, going for drinks, celebrating, and in general ingesting more calories than they manage to spend during the same time frame.
Different things matter to us at different points in our lives. And we tend make trade-offs to accommodate what, in actual fact, matters to us, as opposed to what we *state* matters to us, or what we *think ought* to matter to us.
As you're no doubt starting to realize, the inevitable endpoint of your current eating habits will have your maintaining at a higher weight than where you think you ought to maintain at.
When the weight issue outweighs (pun intended) the social adjustment issue for you... then you will discover what you're willing to adjust.
This x100. My social life used to revolve around happy hours and “networking” events. I stopped being invited to those things about 5 years ago. Those friendships also died a natural death as they were replaced with friends from the gym with the same goals and lifestyle. I’m still social, except when I get together with friends it doesn’t revolve around food and drink. I prefer this me and the way I look at age 43. My “old” friends and social circle prefers food and drink - and it shows. To each their own.
4 -
We got out quite often. And I like wine.
I eat salads. I eat steaks. I eat fish. I choose my sides carefully.
I'm not afraid to ask for a to go box.
We don't eat at chains, usually, and I'm always happy when local restaurants offer their calorie counts (Thanks former first lady!)
You make choices.2 -
Honestly, it was very hard for me to track when I was in my 20's and had a social life. Now I'm 36, and work and family take care of most of my time (ha), so, it is so much easier to keep it low. Eating out, and seriously, drinking, even a little bit, would send me way, way over every time. I mean, it's liquid sugar. It's not just the drinks themselves, it's what they'd do to my blood sugar afterwards. So, my advice to you would be to do whatever you're going to do after work, go out, but drink a lot of water before, during and after, and make sure you're in the gym the next day, every time. Get around eating salad all the time by doing a lean protein + a veg. Steak and broccoli. Chicken and greens. Whatever. I have to eat this way for other medical reasons now, and you get used to it. Most places have a caprese salad (cheese!) or something similar that's not a bowl of lettuce, but is fresh and lower in carbs. Make sure you get your protein in first, and good luck! Enjoy this time!0
-
My social life is my meals out with my wife. We don't drink alcohol, so that's not an issue. I drink water or unsweet tea, have salads with no dressing, and try to be sure to keep the entre' calories low.3
-
I could never eat out 5 nights a week because too expensive and hard to maintain my calorie budget. When I do eat out, maybe once a week I usually can pick items that fit in my calorie budget. I also have go to dishes that I know are lower in calories.
I only order water to drink 95% of the time. I rarely eat dessert.
At a Mexican restaurant, my go to is either fish tacos or fajitas with veggies in place of rice or beans.
At Thai restaurants I usually get a big bowl of tom yum soup.
At Italian places, no creamy sauces. I do red sauce only and nothing fried/parmesan etc
At any chain restaurant that has calorie info, I pick something lower in calories. I often only eat 2 meals on days I eat at a restaurant.
For larger serving sizes, I pack half to go and only eat half.4 -
OP - I’ve been in your shoes.
If I could go back and tell my 20/30/40 year old self one thing, it would be “learn to cook healthy food.”
You and your boyfriend can have quality time together planning, shopping, prepping and cooking together. And save money.
The second thing I would tell my younger self would be to lay off on the drinks.8 -
I don’t eat anywhere near as often these days due to having a young family so I tend to save some calories through the week, or eat at maintenance on the special occasions we do go out
The frequency your eating out I would
1. I’d either skip dessert and have a coffee (doesn’t seem awkward if you say no to dessert that everyone’s having if you have something to drink/do while they eat)
2. Go halves with the appetiser have an appetiser as your main and enjoy dessert
3. Make the best choice you can in terms of calories: look up menus before hand and have an educated guess using the database about what the lower calorie options that appeal to you are
4. Leave some one your plate, I’ve found the amount of fries served as sides is much more than I need to feel full so I leave some
5. Have a few nights a week alcohol free, it will lower your calories and you might feel better for it
6. Invite your friends around for a dinner party, you’re in full control of food served then
Good luck, your social life doesn’t need to suffer for weight loss but you need to decide what’s the priority: eating what you want when out or weight loss1 -
What do you guys do when you're at a banquet, and the only food on offer is fatty, fried Chinese food? This is coming up for me in a few months.0
-
Going out, for me, is a treat. I don't do it often so when I do I don't feel bad about having a starter, main and dessert
However, going out 5 nights a week means it is no longer a treat. I wouldnt feel sad that I am missing dessert because I know I will be going out tomorrow and can have it then. There would be less FOMO (fear of missing out). So I would probably do something like this; Mon have starter and dessert; Tue have starter, salad, dessert; Wed main and dessert; Thur starter and main.2 -
What do you guys do when you're at a banquet, and the only food on offer is fatty, fried Chinese food? This is coming up for me in a few months.
Do you want to have that food? If so, just budget correctly so I could enjoy! I would save up some calories the day before and/or leave 1000+ calories that day for the one meal.
If it is crappy food I know I would rather not have, I'll eat my own food before or after and just take a small plate and only have a few bites. I would stick to any unfried plain rice and veggies if they had any. Usually they have some type of chicken and veggie dish that isn't fried or heavily sauced.0 -
Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »What do you guys do when you're at a banquet, and the only food on offer is fatty, fried Chinese food? This is coming up for me in a few months.
Do you want to have that food? If so, just budget correctly so I could enjoy! I would save up some calories the day before and/or leave 1000+ calories that day for the one meal.
If it is crappy food I know I would rather not have, I'll eat my own food before or after and just take a small plate and only have a few bites. I would stick to any unfried plain rice and veggies if they had any. Usually they have some type of chicken and veggie dish that isn't fried or heavily sauced.
I'm happy to do that, but I won't have any clue how to track the calories in it, because it won't be a franchise restaurant, and I won't know what they put in it. I should add, last time I went, it was fried rice only and then two fatty (fried) meat based meals to serve on top of it. I'll see what I can work out, though.1 -
I eat out once a week. I generally get an unsweetened iced tea. Menu items that are relatively normal portions, not fried, not doused in cheese, sauces, butter, dressings are good choices for me. A side salad with my meal helps me eat less.
If something is huge I might split it with someone.
I really try not to drink my calories as that is unsatisfying. I'd rather eat more food.
At an event I would just take rasonable portions.
With 7 lbs to lose you don't need to drastically alter your lifestyle- probably just need to skip having one thing or a couple hundred calories a day. Figure out some priorities. If you want to drink or have dessert reduce calories in other areas of your day. Change your drink order sometimes- every restaurant I have been to has water or unsweetened tea or diet pop. Skip appetizers or dessert sometimes. Get more vegetables on your plate. Have a lighter lunch or breakfast on days you are going out. Exercise a bit more.0 -
What do you guys do when you're at a banquet, and the only food on offer is fatty, fried Chinese food? This is coming up for me in a few months.
For one meal? I'd eat it and not worry about it, with the understanding that I'd see a temporary water weight spike from all the sodium. I didn't lose all my weight by eating a salad one day, and I won't gain it all back by eating an indulgent meal one day. One meal won't make or break your long-term efforts - it's a tiny little bump in the road.
The OP's situation (happy hours/eating out multiple times a week), on the other hand, would require some adjustments to be made.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 422 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions