restarting for the 100th time

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stephj1216
stephj1216 Posts: 75 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone!

So I'm not quite new to MFP, but I feel like I've restarted so many times it's crazy.... But here's my story.

I've been overweight all my life. Nothing crazy but just overweight. I moved away from my family in 2014 at my then highest weight and was able to drop 40 pounds healthily. I was in and out of relationships and was drinking a lot for a while and finally got into a new relationship at the end of 2015. With going out all the time for meals, I quickly put all that weight back on and hit my highest weight in December 2016. I saw a picture of myself and was disgusted. After that, my relationship took a turn for the worst. He was abusive, emotionally and physically. Not only did he beat on me, he called me fat and many other names. I was so stressed out with that and having to figure out how to pay bills on just my income since he refused to work, that I dropped 50 pounds without even trying.

Fast forward to May of 2017, he put his hands on me for the last time when he choked me until I blacked out. I left that day. I was at the smallest I had been in a long time. Then I met my now fiance. Again, with going out to eat all the time, we BOTH have put on weight. I am now back up my 50 pounds I lost.

Our wedding is next April and engagement pictures in 3 weeks!! So now, I am more determined than ever!

Replies

  • mulecanter
    mulecanter Posts: 1,792 Member
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    Gosh, glad you got rid of that idiot and found a decent guy. You need to watch out if you both have put on weight, it only gets worse when you settle in a marriage and get comfortable with each other. Eating out less will help your waist and your wallet. How about going for walks together--maybe get a dog as an excuse? Bottom line is that you are obviously an emotion-driven eater/faster so you need to get a handle on that. Moderation in all things. Set a weight loss goal--fiance too if he agrees. Making babies is more fun when you both have hot bodies, right?
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    mulecanter wrote: »
    Gosh, glad you got rid of that idiot and found a decent guy. You need to watch out if you both have put on weight, it only gets worse when you settle in a marriage and get comfortable with each other. Eating out less will help your waist and your wallet. How about going for walks together--maybe get a dog as an excuse? Bottom line is that you are obviously an emotion-driven eater/faster so you need to get a handle on that. Moderation in all things. Set a weight loss goal--fiance too if he agrees. Making babies is more fun when you both have hot bodies, right?

    I lurve this advice. I've read all of the ballyhoo about moderation. How it doesn't work and you may be a restrictor more like a boa constrictor. That moderation is meaningless and it leaves too much wiggle room. I don't believe that anymore. I've come to learn that you just might just have disordered eating that you've never come to grips with if you can't moderate yourself. Ever.
  • jeffreyfrad
    jeffreyfrad Posts: 2 Member
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    You sound like me.
    Glad you got out the bad relationship and found your fiancé.
    I am addicted to sweèts.
  • stephj1216
    stephj1216 Posts: 75 Member
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    mulecanter wrote: »
    Gosh, glad you got rid of that idiot and found a decent guy. You need to watch out if you both have put on weight, it only gets worse when you settle in a marriage and get comfortable with each other. Eating out less will help your waist and your wallet. How about going for walks together--maybe get a dog as an excuse? Bottom line is that you are obviously an emotion-driven eater/faster so you need to get a handle on that. Moderation in all things. Set a weight loss goal--fiance too if he agrees. Making babies is more fun when you both have hot bodies, right?

    I agree! We have started going for walks and we have 3 dogs (which don't do well on walks because they like to "talk" to everyone). We have talked about things and have both agreed to set weight loss goals before our wedding next year!
  • MrsWaldo99
    MrsWaldo99 Posts: 13 Member
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    So glad to hear that you got out of that horrible relationship & have found a wonderful man!! I am right there with you. I too started MFP about 6 years ago & lost 50 lbs. I got comfortable, slacked on calorie tracking & life happened & the weight crept back on. Now here I am & I have gained it almost all back. I went to the Dr. a couple of months ago & got in trouble for being over weight. I am so ashamed of myself right now & have shut most people out of my life because I am so embarrassed. We can & will do this together!! I don't know how to send a friend request or I would friend you. Lol

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