PTSD, depression, and food

jclawst

I’m still new here and am just figuring out how all this works. But I wanted to share a bit about how I ended up at 296lbs at the beginning of May, 2018 after having been in great shape as both and infantry officer and a naval officer in the years prior.

My own experience with PTSD came from military service but people can suffer from PTSD due to many other events and occupations from medical professions, law enforcement, or just any trauma that someone experiences whether at work or not.

I wanted to share a bit more about my struggle because often, people associate PTSD with depression, isolation, drug and alcohol abuse, and unfortunately suicide. Food and obesity are not what people consider the usual methods of coping with PTSD and depression - but in my case, and in many other cases, that’s what happens.

My drug of choice was food. I comfort ate and was heavily addicted to unhealthy kinds of carbs. Pizza, pasta, and bread were my best friends and my worst enemies at the same time.

Food abuse as a coping mechanism lead me to obesity, and while I knew that obesity related illness cause hundreds of thousands of deaths each year in Canada and the United States I was ignoring what was happening.

Rather than drugs and alcohol leading to the destruction of my life, food was leading me down that path - it just takes a lot longer for death to occur. I was literally on the path to eat myself to death.

I knew I was gaining weight, but was just making every excuse to ignore it or delay acknowledging it in my life. I left the military, went to law school, and then have been working and living the most sedentary and isolated life I have ever lived. I put client matters before myself and used work as a further excuse. This went on for three years.

On May 8th, I snapped out of it. I was jolted into facing the fact that I had gotten fat and my weight and lifestyle were completely out of control. If I didn’t make immediate changes then and there - I was probably going to die. I don’t know when, or how, but it would likely be obesity related and I would never get married, I would never have kids, I would never accomplish any of the many other things I wanted to do with my life. I’d never make the world a better place, not even a little bit.

So I started this journey at 296lbs on May 8th, 2018.

Using this app and the underarmour Record app, I am logging all my food, my workouts, my sleep, and I don’t give a crap about my steps at this point because the workouts are taking care of my activity levels. I’ve lost about 32lbs since May 8th and am feeling so much better - but I have a long ‘weigh’ to go.

I’d love friends, support, and I will always reciprocate.

[post edited by MFP mod]

Piqueaboo

Welcome Jeff, we're glad to have you !! You're doing so well

neugebauer52

True - PTSD can have so many origins. I am happy to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I did not have a happy childhood and carried the pain with me for many years. Then our son was born bad sadly he died within the hour. I thought I was keeping things together but eventually I fell into a deep depression with all the side effects. Tablets there are many out there but which one might help? After years of struggling someone suggested to start writing everything down which hurts so much. The avalanche started to move and slowly, slowly I wrote all those memories away from my soul. I had also gained a huge amount of weight (at my heaviest I was 170 kg, 360 pounds). I was told by the medical profession that I would have to take strong antidepressants for the rest of my life but some two years ago I decided to slowly, very slowly wean myself off all those tablets which did not seem to help me anyway. I continued writing which seems to help me. I realized that handling and dealing with two huge issues at the same time (depression and weight loss) was a bit much and in April 2018 I decided to do something about my weight. Thanks to MFP I am getting on all right, have lost about 15 kg by now. I am grateful for every sunny day, I go for walks, every little bit helps. It is baby steps, I know, but I am healing day by day. May I suggest that you stick with MFP - there are so many members out there who are happy to support. Write about your thoughts, set yourself small targets, which you can achieve.

SabAteNine

Hi, Jeff. Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for your service. It must not have been easy to put everything in writing, but I think you may find that this community can offer a lot of support. So, welcome!

And congratulations on your weight loss! 32 lbs in 2 months is a great achievement, and while you still have a ways to go, it looks like you did awesome so far. It will slow down at some point (and you need to be prepared for that), but slow and steady wins the race. And a good workout means a good endorphin surge - that helps too.

Best of luck to you!

gcibsthom

I also suffer from combat related PTSD. Food was just one of my crutches....But have managed to lose 117 lbs in the last 2+ years...I won't let food be a drug for me again.