I can't control myself

snickerscharlie

My best advice is to take a week to simply get used to logging everything you eat - completely and honestly. That week will give you time to get used to logging your food, finding the correct entries for what you're eating and will give you valuable data with which to start making changes.

After the first week, have a good look at everything you've eaten - and the calorie cost of each item - and then decide to start by making some small changes.

You have 3 sugars in your coffee, for example? Put two in instead, and maybe a packet of Stevia or Splenda. Do this for a week, then cut down to one sugar and two Stevia.

Obviously, this is just a single example (one which may not even relate directly to you) but the point is don't try to make drastic changes overnight. Small steps add up over time. You didn't gain the weight overnight, you won't lose it that quickly, either. The idea is to make a series of small sustainable changes, be it in the items you choose to consume, or the quantity in which you've been consuming them.

Many of us have been (or are) where you are. You need to be patient, educate yourself and above all, be kind to yourself.

RenaTX

Hugs hun. You can do this! I feel like I'm going to say a lot of cliches but they all are true.
Take it one day at a time and forgive yourself.
Also remember one set back doesn't ruin all the good you will do.

joisfit

Choose a small goal and be consistent for 10 days or so, then add another. Logging everything that goes into your mouth makes you more mindful of what you eat and how much you eat. That would be a great starting goal. Then use part of MFP that calculates how many calories a day you need to eat to achieve a goal. Start easy on yourself. Say a goal for one pound a week. That is a 500 calorie a day deficit. Continue the food logging (every bite that goes into your mouth) and see each day how you did it meeting your calorie goal. After 10 days of that set a goal to not go over your calorie limit for 3 days in a row, then longer. Then start weighing yourself once a week and entering that in MFP. After a month or six weeks of those habits you may be ready to up your goal to 1.5 lost per week. The important thing is to be consistent, and if you mess up, forgive yourself and start fresh the next day.

cammiecane

Everyone here has given amazing advice. I just wanted to add a couple of things from my own experience.

I totally understand what you’re going through. I used to get panic attacks and sob at the thought of going to the beach. I constantly felt like people were looking at me and judging me on how disgusting I looked. But guess what? It was all in my head. Changing your mindset about yourself can be very difficult so here is something that worked for me at the beginning. Whenever I thought a negative thought about myself, I counteracted it with a positive thought. So if I thought “You’re pathetic and disgusting”, I would force myself to think something like “but you’re kindhearted and people love that about you”. Soon, it gets easier to think positive things about yourself and then eventually you’ll eliminate that negative self talk.

A little tip for controlling your food intake. I’ve found that if I’m craving some kind of junk or feeling hungry, etc, I drink a glass of water and then go for a walk. Exercise can act as an appetite suppressant and changing locations can kind of reset your mind sometimes so you think of something else.

I agree with the people who said start small so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Setting small goals is important, as is finding non-food rewards for when you meet those goals; something I like is getting my hair done, getting a new outfit, etc. The more you hit those milestones, the more confidence you’ll have and the more you’ll realize you CAN do this! Until then, “fake it til you make it” and keep telling yourself you can do it. Remind yourself of your reason for wanting to lose weight and how important it is to you. You’ve got this!!

eaglzdude05

Look into your own eyes in the mirror for a couple seconds, I mean really look, and see that you're young, smart, and strong. I know you are because you had the courage to post this to begin with. You've already taken a step all on your own without even realizing it. Take one little baby step at a time and by baby steps I mean baby steps, like putting your sneakers on and literally walking outside your house. The next day walk to the end of the driveway, the next a little further, etc. This will give you just a tiny bit more self-confidence every day and very quickly you'll start believing in yourself again. Once that happens the sky is the limit for you. You can do this. You already started.

iowalinda

One tip I want to share is to not sabotage yourself by bringing food you don't want to eat into the house - Foods that you know set you off on a binge or that you can't stop yourself from overeating. You can't eat it if it isn't there. Wishing you all the best. You can do this!

jdubois5351

People have given amazing advice so far, but I want to emphasize one thing: WEIGH YOUR FOOD, and I mean all of it, if at all possible. It might seem intimidating the beginning, but you get used to it very quickly. Trust me, "you" really cannot guesstimate, how much 10 oz of a certain food item is, especially when you're just started out. Weighing my food religiously has been eye-opening and, I must admit, shocking at times! Without the scales, I would always, always get it wrong.

And one more thing, when logging your food, please be totally honest. If you're not, the only person you're cheating is yourself, and that doesn't help you. Yes, there will be days when you'll be disgusted about how much you've eaten, but guess what? It really doesn't matter. One day will NOT set you back, if you're within your limit otherwise. I've had such a day just yesterday. My friend had cooked, and she's an amazing cook. She made pub food (meat pies, mashed potatoes with cream, salad, ice cream). It was amazing, and I really couldn't help myself. I was totally full after one helping, but noooooooo, the glutton in me wanted a whole second helping - and I scarfed it down. Didn't exactly made me feel great about my resolve, but hey, such is life. Today I'm back on track, and all is good.

You are very brave for taking the first step in coming here. You've got this, you can and will do it!

2BtheRealMe

I'm sending you huge hugs ....

I understand what you are feeling, and you have received some very well thought out and helpful suggestions on this thread! I want to add one more ---- please see a doctor and get a physical including blood tests.

Sometimes there is more to the story that we don't understand because its medical and internal.

I have been overweight for most of my life, but have been well over 200 pounds for over ten years. I was 240 on January 1st this year. I would have my physical each year and have my blood tested, and two constants were my cholesterol levels were very bad, and my vitamin D levels were dangerously low. (Vitamin D should come in at 30 or higher, mine was never higher than 14, for the last ten years - i don't have test results older than that.)

On January 1st, I started a modified keto plan (lots of veggies, reducing carbs, lots of water), and I began to take a vitamin D supplement every day and calcium chews. By May 21st, I had reduced my weight to 205, my cholesterol was almost perfect (I need to increase my Omega 3's & eat more fish), and my Vitamin D level was up to 42!

Currently, I am 194 (46 pounds down in just over 6 months.) I feel better than I have in years. I don't feel as depressed or anxious, I have more energy, I am seeing results and want to keep seeing results. I'm wearing clothes I've had stored in the back of my closet for years! I no longer crave carbs and can walk by a table full of cookies & cake and not want to have any of it (actually the thought of frosting now makes me gag).

This is just part of my story -- yours may have different details. But I want you to know that you can do this. If you haven't had a physical in a while, it might be a good place to start. Make sure that your body is working as it should. Then take the rest one day at a time.

Focus on diet first. Track daily. Research recipes and try new vegetables (I found out this year that I LOVE brussel sprouts - I had no idea!!) Make the diet "second nature". THEN when you feel you have it mastered and have seen results, THEN you can start on the exercise. (Sometimes if you try to change diet & exercise at the same time, its overwhelming, especially to someone with anxiety. For me, tackling each part separately made a huge difference!!)

Feel free to "friend" me here on MFP. I promise you can do this ....

BrSpiritus

I'm a classic overeater, supersize mcdo, half a pizza, you get the picture. On June 3rd I was 396 and I said enough! I came up with a meal plan that was simple, nutritious, filling and works for me and stuck with it. I slowly started working exercise into my daily routine. At first I could barely do 3 minutes of aerobic dancing before being jelly legged and out of breath but I stuck with it. Soon I started seeing results, the scale was going down but more importantly my clothes were gettimg loose. As of today I am 374, I still have 174lbs to lose but my motivation is I feel better. I can move more easily now that some weight is off. I can do 15 minutes aerobic dance without stopping and follow it up with 15 minutes strength training. The longest journey starts with a single step and you can take that first step because we belive in you.

CSARdiver

nadiamartinez785 wrote: »

This is very embarrassing for me... But I need help I know no one can truly help me except for myself but advice is truly appreciated I have no idea what I am doing I have no motivation no inspiration no hope I can't even look at myself in the mirror I have let myself go I have never been a skinny person but this time I have really done it I'm 5-6 22 years old and weigh 280 pounds I feel like nothing I will ever do will ever change it I feel disgusting I'm so ashamed to even go walking outside my anxiety is so severe it's crippling I can't get my eating in control I feel sick and disgusting and I know people feel the same when they look at me I don't even know what to say anymore maybe someone will read this and give me a shot

I would say it's very brave of you.

True no one can help you but you, but change is hard. Impossible if you don't know what change needs to be made, so you've made a powerful move by landing here and reaching out to a community knowing what it takes to succeed.

As other's have said no one thinks this of you...no one worth respect anyway. We are often much harder on ourselves than any other person.

We don't invest into things we hate. You love yourself now and will love yourself later. We invest valuable time and energy into things we love. An act of change and self improvement is an inherent act of love.

You simply need to develop multiple feedback loops, habits, and behaviors that support your goals of fitness. Move slowly and cautiously in this. Engage with those who have lived through this and succeeded. Discuss issues here but keep an open mind. The amount of misinformation/disinformation out there is overwhelming.

Welcome aboard!

Junebug2022

I know that feeling.

Don’t think everyone is out to get you or make fun of you. Accept the praises or complements you get when you’re doing good, they aren’t lying to you. Learn to forgive yourself, i know that’s the the only person i never forgive. And don’t grow to be lonely like me, you get used to it pretty fast and get lost in it pretty long. Im 36 and still trying to find a way out.

COGypsy

One tool I use quite a bit is telling myself, "I'm a person who...". I've found it to be really effective in helping me remove the feelings I have associated with my actions. It usually takes a while to sink in, but I've used it on little things and big things and found it to be a huge help. It's switched things like "Jeez, I'm such a lazy slob I can't even get my bed made" to "I'm a person who makes my bed every morning." When I frame it that way, things become just another task in my day--like brushing my teeth or loading the dishwasher. Another one I've used is "I'm a person who takes care of a strong and healthy body". That makes it much easier to get myself to the gym since before I would tell myself that workouts are the consequence of being fat. I believe I got the trick from the Beck Diet Solution, which is a fantastic book and work book that uses cognitive behavioral therapy tools to help with weight loss.

kommodevaran

COGypsy wrote: »

One tool I use quite a bit is telling myself, "I'm a person who...". I've found it to be really effective in helping me remove the feelings I have associated with my actions. It usually takes a while to sink in, but I've used it on little things and big things and found it to be a huge help. It's switched things like "Jeez, I'm such a lazy slob I can't even get my bed made" to "I'm a person who makes my bed every morning." When I frame it that way, things become just another task in my day--like brushing my teeth or loading the dishwasher. Another one I've used is "I'm a person who takes care of a strong and healthy body". That makes it much easier to get myself to the gym since before I would tell myself that workouts are the consequence of being fat. I believe I got the trick from the Beck Diet Solution, which is a fantastic book and work book that uses cognitive behavioral therapy tools to help with weight loss.

OMG, I'm doing this too! I thought I was the only one. Thanks for making me feel a little less strange Oh, and it really works

dani_lopera

Nadia, no matter how much you weight I want you to understand how beautiful you are. Your goals shouldn't be just about losing weight... it should be about changing your lifestyle AND boosting your self-confidence and self-love. You have to love yourself to be able to succeed in this. You can't beat yourself up for eating that bowl of ice-cream or eating that slice of cake. It took me a long time to get where I am. I did diets and they worked yes.. but only temporarily. I gained it all back in a matter of weeks. The best advice i can possibly give you based on personal experience is to use this application and make a routine before you go to sleep for the next day or even weekly. Schedules will really help you and tracking your calories are important as you actually see how much sugar and fat is in what you eat. Do not think about food. Make yourself busy. Whether it is reading or watching tv or working out, make yourself unavailable. The more you are bored, the more you are inclined to eat.

Next, if you are craving chocolate, eat chocolate. Do not restrict yourself from eating the foods you normally eat. Your body is used to it and if you take it away, you will crave it more and more until you 3x of what you would of normally eaten. Learning to control how much of it is up to you.


Lastly, for exercise: I started off with cardio and it helped me as a beginner. Once i was satisfied with my weight, i began doing light weights and eventually started heavy lifting to gain muscle. It took me two years to get to the heavy lifting and I regret not having started earlier. As long as you workout, you lose fat. So whatever you do, just make sure to do it. Do not say "I ate this and this i might as well just not do anything" or "people are going to see me running and they're going to make fun of me. Remember that you are the only one who is going to benefit from this and those people are strangers and you shouldn't care.

I hope you reach your goal Nadia.

Misskcm

Hey!!! I added you. I see you live in Converse Texas I live on the west side of SA. Send me a message!!

Carlageddon

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I was 21.10st in March. I hate myself and the way girls looked, laughed and generally made me feel even worse about myself. I too didn't want to go out of the house.
I'm down to 20.2st this just this morning, and it's been a long road, and I've slipped more weeks than I should of, but I have noticed a difference the way some people now treat me. So what I'm saying is I really do relate to how you feel.

Two things I can suggest. First (If you live in the UK) get the M&S Balanced for you meals. Have one for lunch, and one for dinner and have something like boiled eggs for breakfast. The Meals are good as they have a balance of the things your body needs, and are simple, easy to buy and quick to cook.
Secondly, if you have someone you can rely on to support you, help you light exercise (remember just like everyone else is saying, weight loss comes from dieting not exercising) is there someone you can go for a walk with a couple of times a week, or swimming is good too, as it's low-impact so you aren't doing your self any harm (also with the way I felt, I was mostly underwater, so people couldn't judge what I looked like, so I could enjoy going swimming).

What ever you choose to do, I hope you get there, you will feel better. Keep at it.

TavistockToad

Carlageddon wrote: »

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I was 21.10st in March. I hate myself and the way girls looked, laughed and generally made me feel even worse about myself. I too didn't want to go out of the house.
I'm down to 20.2st this just this morning, and it's been a long road, and I've slipped more weeks than I should of, but I have noticed a difference the way some people now treat me. So what I'm saying is I really do relate to how you feel.

Two things I can suggest. First (If you live in the UK) get the M&S Balanced for you meals. Have one for lunch, and one for dinner and have something like boiled eggs for breakfast. The Meals are good as they have a balance of the things your body needs, and are simple, easy to buy and quick to cook.
Secondly, if you have someone you can rely on to support you, help you light exercise (remember just like everyone else is saying, weight loss comes from dieting not exercising) is there someone you can go for a walk with a couple of times a week, or swimming is good too, as it's low-impact so you aren't doing your self any harm (also with the way I felt, I was mostly underwater, so people couldn't judge what I looked like, so I could enjoy going swimming).

What ever you choose to do, I hope you get there, you will feel better. Keep at it.

i would tend to disagree with a couple of things.

1) if you cant cook, learn. yes those M&S meals are fine sometimes, but is that really all you'r going to eat for the rest of your life? sounds boring, restrictive and expensive to me. this is all about making sustainable lifestyle changes if the weight loss is going to stick

2) you cant rely on anyone else. if you do, and then that person says 'sorry i cant go for a walk' you have a ready made excuse to not do it. yes, find people who want to exercise with you, fill your friends list with supporters and cheerleaders on here, but don't rely on anyone but yourself to get it done.