The fifth circle of hell...aka online dating
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I have entered the fifth circle of hell...online dating
I don't have my full name or real town down. I've already been offered 1 number so I could be sent D pics, told I looked like someone this guy [slept with] and messaged by some old dude that said he can do the abc's with his tongue. I'm not sure what the hell he's talking about and I'm not asking. Oh, there's also a 'houseboy' looking for a woman, collar included. If anyone's interested I can give you his page... I've also met a few cool guys who might actually turn out to be friends. Maybe.
Wow. And I thought I was weird. Apparently, I'm only mildly off from normal. lol. Anyway, this is my first jump into the 'pool' any advice?
I don't have my full name or real town down. I've already been offered 1 number so I could be sent D pics, told I looked like someone this guy [slept with] and messaged by some old dude that said he can do the abc's with his tongue. I'm not sure what the hell he's talking about and I'm not asking. Oh, there's also a 'houseboy' looking for a woman, collar included. If anyone's interested I can give you his page... I've also met a few cool guys who might actually turn out to be friends. Maybe.
Wow. And I thought I was weird. Apparently, I'm only mildly off from normal. lol. Anyway, this is my first jump into the 'pool' any advice?
1
Replies
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I don’t know — just be careful. Really invest in learning as much as you can through your online chatting and don’t trust a guy who wants to move too quickly. Never give out your phone number and don’t trust a guy asking for it too soon. Make it clear in your profile that you’re a woman who deserves and demands respect and honesty.5
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Seems like way too much uncertainty, lying, fake pics, half-truths, psychopaths, etc. to sort through to determine what is real vs. what is fabricated.0
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STOP.3
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Not everyone from dating sites are creeps. I've met some really great guys on there and am still friends with some. Don't have high expectations though. Be safe when meeting anyone in person, and trust your instincts. There are definitely some weirdos, but that's everywhere. At least with online dating you can weed out some of the less appealing choices before wasting your time actually meeting them first.7
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I thought every one has their own collar lol
I think a lot depends on the app you're using. If it is a free one there are more creeps out there.
I have some good experience in online dating and see lot's of advantages of it, like you could get to know the other person a bit before meeting him/her in person.2 -
Oh I've been there!! One time I almost met a guy who I found out just a year prior was arrested for rape, sexual battery, criminal confinement and the list goes on....He started acting weird and asking questions that made me second guess meeting him. I AM SO GLAD I DID!! There is a site called Doxpop.com and your able to do up to 6 FREE background checks a year. I know....it seems a little over the top trust me. But if I didn't do that might son might have lost his mom.....
There are pros and cons to it, just follow your gut, and weed through them until you find a good one!! Ask the hard questions. I always talked to them for days on the site before giving my number to them. If they didn't like that, they obviously weren't looking for a true connection.2 -
It can be just as "interesting" for the guys. I have had literally dozens of hits from women in Russia, Kenya, Nigeria, and Ghana using fake profiles and sob stories about caring for their ailing grandmother or being stranded and trying to get back to the states if only I would fund their air travel. Sigh........
But.......I have also made some friends and had some fun interactions. Beware long-distance relationships imho, they are tough to sustain. And have you tried the app MeetUp? You join groups of people with similar interests and then the app makes you aware of upcoming activities like movie nights, hiking, book clubs, etc.
You get to meet local people among a group setting and nothing intimidating or one-on-one.
Best of luck, DO NOT be discouraged. You are worth it!!!
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I spent a couple of years and alot of money on eharmony only to be matched with a bunch of woman that were no match at all because they straight up lied on their profiles. I don't care how many points of compatibility there are, if one or both people are lying the system doesn't work. I gave up after 2 years and made a go of it alone and didn't date except for the Russian girl I met at work... she turned out to be a fruit loop.1
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Oh! And when you go on a date make sure there is at least one person (friend/family mamber) that knows where you are and who you are meeting with. I was also leaving my dates phone number to my friend.3
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online dating is tough. I had quite a few frogs before I found a nice guy. Background checks and google are your friend.
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I actually met my now husband through online dating. I signed up for plenty of fish on a whim after a break up. He was only supposed to be a rebound, but now we are married with a son. From my experience, the free websites are just guys that want to hook up. When I was on match.com, the men were of more quality, but the chemistry just wasn't there for me for the guys I met in person. Good luck! There are a lot of creepers out there (online and real world).1
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I would say look for personality within what they put on their profile. A lot of times you can weed them out on that alone. Talk on the phone not just text before meeting. And do searches on social media accounts. I learned that lesson late....lets say his anger issues were plastered on his fb page. But i unfortunately found out about them after 50 texts back to back of hateful rants. be careful but have fun with it.2
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what sire are you using?0
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I tried online dating a couple of times. Match, and a couple of free ones. Got a couple of dates out of it, in the year I was on the first time. Second time, I couldn't handle the BS of the women, fake profiles, etc. and deleted my profile a couple of months in.
I think some have good success if they are very picky and patient. But, I had had enough with it all and just decided I'd rather be single and happily unavailable since most women don't understand my schedule or work life.2 -
xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »I tried online dating a couple of times. Match, and a couple of free ones. Got a couple of dates out of it, in the year I was on the first time. Second time, I couldn't handle the BS of the women, fake profiles, etc. and deleted my profile a couple of months in.
I think some have good success if they are very picky and patient. But, I had had enough with it all and just decided I'd rather be single and happily unavailable since most women don't understand my schedule or work life.
This was pretty much me, ended up well.0 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »I tried online dating a couple of times. Match, and a couple of free ones. Got a couple of dates out of it, in the year I was on the first time. Second time, I couldn't handle the BS of the women, fake profiles, etc. and deleted my profile a couple of months in.
I think some have good success if they are very picky and patient. But, I had had enough with it all and just decided I'd rather be single and happily unavailable since most women don't understand my schedule or work life.
This was pretty much me, ended up well.
Friends of mine have done well with it too. Some played the game, and used it as a catalog of potential conquests. For me, I just couldn't deal with the negatives of it. Add to it that I have two jobs where I'm on call, and have to leave at a moment's notice, most said they wouldn't put up with it. The couple who said they would, once it happened to them, they didn't like it.
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When you connect with someone online, don't get too excited. . Once you know you want to meet them, just meet them. . Don't have three weeks of back and forth. . The sooner you meet, the better, because when they're nothing like they portrayed. . you don't have to have this difficult guilt-ridden drawn-out breakup where you get called all kinds of names and made to feel like a jerk.6
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That being said, there are diamonds in the rough. . I've met some. . I've been on and off for years and I still am hopeful!1
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