My last shot before I turn 40

Junebug2022

This is my second time using this site, it wasn’t owned by underarmor back then. But i just wanted to share some of my pain.

Back in January i decided i had to lose weight, but couldn’t find the motivation. I was having health problems and couldn’t walk more then 50 yards, but I couldn’t find a reason to start again.

Then 1 night a girl helped me find a little bit of motivation. Afterwards I was controlling my eating, Intermittent fasting and mostly staying away from junk/fast foods. I was mentally doing much better back then and losing weight slowly.

Sometime in April i somehow became friends with another female, and this girl was best girl I’ve ever met in my life. The catch is I’m around 500 pounds back then and i know at my best I probably couldn’t get this girl.

But just knowing her kicks my eating discipline into over drive.... i think i spent a month just eating 5 servings of nuts and 1 or 2 protein shakes a day. My weight lost stalled eventually and I decided to added fish, cheese and fats to my diet again. That was the longest period i went without bread, rice, meat or diary. It was nice to see i could do it.

Its about 1 month since then, i ran that girl off because i have alot of self loathing and nihilism. I’m having a hard time eating, i dont have a real desire to eat more than a couple hundred calories, so I’m trying to exercise again to get my metabolism back up.

I’m down to 459 today, but I don’t feel good.
People tell me im doing good and I don’t believe them. Only thing keeping me going is if i stop now, i know thats it for me. I have no real friends or a family of mybown, this is my last shot.

I’ve been doing Keto for 7 days, with 1 cheat day and The cardiac diet for 3 days. I was 492 June 16th and I’m 459 July 13th. But over last 2 weeks ive only lost 13 pounds.... which upsets me. But have to keep going.

I generally keep this all in, well that girl i ran off used to talk some about this, but thats over. So it’s good to let it out to someone other than myself.

I can’t even do hellos right.....

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Jharts31

Hang in there man. I think you're doing great. Keep up the good work, and even if you have a setback, never give up!

Junebug2022

Can’t give up, only one way out at this point for me.

JeromeBarry1

It is good to get that out. Just about everyone who reads your first post is going to be pulling for you. You can, indeed, do it. Life is better, and I mean a LOT better, when you are not trying to kill yourself with food.

The emotions of self-loathing and nihilism have been associated with eating for, I guess, most of your life. It is more than food you have understand, but also your emotions. I promise, it is not harder for you than for any of us. Yes, it's hard, for people with 5 to lose and people with 350 to lose, it's hard. It's the same hard. Let's keep focused on this great goal. We will get there.

Junebug2022

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

It is good to get that out. Just about everyone who reads your first post is going to be pulling for you. You can, indeed, do it. Life is better, and I mean a LOT better, when you are not trying to kill yourself with food.

The emotions of self-loathing and nihilism have been associated with eating for, I guess, most of your life. It is more than food you have understand, but also your emotions. I promise, it is not harder for you than for any of us. Yes, it's hard, for people with 5 to lose and people with 350 to lose, it's hard. It's the same hard. Let's keep focused on this great goal. We will get there.

Thanks..... it’s more like 250, I don’t need to see that number any bigger. Lol

I don’t know if the emotions lead to food or if the food was covering the emotions, but my emotions have gone crazy since I haven’t been eating, which is a big reason i ran that girl away. She wasn’t giving me the validation i was seeking so I turned her into an enemy in my head. Really sucks.

rheddmobile

Life is hard at really high weight! Think of how much easier it will be to walk wherever you want, not get tired, not have to worry about where to sit.

It's tough to give up the pleasure of food without replacing it with some other pleasure. Can you focus on something you really enjoy, and make extra time for it, to keep your morale high? For myself, I made an effort to listen to music more and get outside in nature when I started restricting calories. I also fixed a few long term problems in my life which were causing me stress, so I had less need to stress eat.

Jerome is right, I'm definitely pulling for you!

100_PROOF_

You can do this!