Worried

Fatexpulsion

Hello MFP's!

I started my journey about a week ago at 120kg/265 pounds with a goal of at least getting into healthy weight range which for me at 167cm/5'5 ish would be between 52-69kg/113-152pounds.

The thing is, I have never ever ever in my life been at a healthy weight. Ever since I was a child I was above the recommended weight.

Now that I have at the very least 52kg/113pounds to loose, I cannot stop thinking about the fact that I have no idea what my face actually looks like. I have no idea what my body looks like. Underneith all the fat there is a shape of what I am supposed to look like instead of the fat abused thing I am moving around at the moment.

It has me worried. Has anyone else had this experience?

livingleanlivingclean

I would assume that getting to a healthy weight for your health's sake would be a significant achievement. Wouldn't the body it comes with be a blessing as you've given yourself better health?

What do you want to look like? What are you worried about? Some things may be controllable, others not. If you're more detailed about your concerns perhaps we can give suggestions

William54321

Just go with the flow and get healthy, what comes of the weight loss is improvement to your health

TavistockToad

Fatexpulsion wrote: »

Hello MFP's!

I started my journey about a week ago at 120kg/265 pounds with a goal of at least getting into healthy weight range which for me at 167cm/5'5 ish would be between 52-69kg/113-152pounds.

The thing is, I have never ever ever in my life been at a healthy weight. Ever since I was a child I was above the recommended weight.

Now that I have at the very least 52kg/113pounds to loose, I cannot stop thinking about the fact that I have no idea what my face actually looks like. I have no idea what my body looks like. Underneith all the fat there is a shape of what I am supposed to look like instead of the fat abused thing I am moving around at the moment.

It has me worried. Has anyone else had this experience?

worried about what exactly? that you don't like what you end up with? but you dont seem to like it now?

Diatonic12

Don't be scared. Be prepared. Don't worry. You have a face and a voice. Underneath that is your best friend. Your best friend has carried you through these years, standing quietly by your side. Go to the mirror and say, I love you.

emmies_123

Your body is giving you anxiety to keep you from committing to the change you want to make. You are comfortable in your current lifestyle, and it will take mental changes to form healthier habits. That can be scary, and sometimes our brains latch on to the fear to stick to that comfy lifestyle.

I suggest you focus on why you want to start your healthier journey. Use that as your goal point, your voice to silence the anxiety. If you struggle with an anxiety disorder I also suggest you talk to someone about how you are feeling. A chat in person can help you sort through why you are feeling the way you are, and help you decide how to address it.

rheddmobile

It's pretty weird, I grant you! I was normal weight as a teen, so I knew what I looked like under there, but it's still a strange feeling looking at myself in the mirror after losing 125 lbs and seeing a different person from the one I've been for the past twenty years. Check out the NSV thread (non scale victories) and it's full of people discovering they had muscles and bones they were never aware of before. I remember the first time I noticed I had a muscle in my elbow! And my xiphoid process (bone at the bottom of the rib cage) sticks out from supporting my large tummy for so many years.

Be kind to yourself. Your body may be overweight but it has kept you alive this long, no need to insult it! You have so much to look forward to. You may not be able to recognize yourself at first, but the important parts of what makes you look like you will still be there.

pinuplove

The good/bad news is, it will happen gradually. Sometimes more gradually than you'd like. But it WILL happen. The mirror will lie to you and make you think nothing's changed, you're still just as big, or you look worse than before. Don't listen. Then there will be the moment you catch a glimpse of your reflection and don't recognize yourself - in a good way!

Lounmoun

If you lose weight or don't lose weight over time your appearance will change slightly. Aging does that.

If you are planning to lose 1-2 lbs a week it will take time. You aren't going to wake up a month from now and not recognize yourself. It is possible that people who do not see you frequently will notice a bigger change than you will.
I found that losing 25 lbs didn't change my appearance in my face much although you could start to see a slight difference in progress photos.
Most of the time when people lose weight I don't think they become unregonizable. They still look like themselves just smaller and maybe younger/happier/healthier. Check out photos in the success stories forum.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10207059/before-and-after-face-edition/p1

rsclause

It's going to be a long journey so you have plenty of time to get to know your new self. By long journey I mean the rest of your life. This isn't a diet it is a new way to eat. Yes you can ease up a bit when you hit your goal but maintenance is not much different than deficit. Enjoy the ride.

Fatexpulsion

Mentally I am scared that I'll have a massive personality change which has happened to a couple of friends of mine which included not being able to handle the excessive attention they recieved from the opposite sex so much that they started boning basically everyone who gave them a compliment and thought nothing of it despite having significant others. They said they got a new body and want to enjoy it.

Physically I am scared that I will have loose skin. The main reason for this is because my husband lost a lot of weight and ended up with loose skin and he has so many insecurities about it. He thinks he looks disgusting because of it which I ofc tell him that he does not and he knows that I love him no matter what he looks like. I loved him fat, I loved him very skinny (he went a bit too far there for a while) and I love him now. He says he wont care but, you know, isn't that what "youre supposed to" say?

My main reasons for loosing the weight is to have a happy healthy life, to be able to get pregnant when the day comes and have a healthy pregnancy both for me and the baby.

I want to go hiking in the mountains and camping along the trails, I want to be able to have the dog breed that I long for but cannot take on because it would just be frekking cruel as in my current state I would not be able to give it the activity that it needs and wants. I want to be able to walk around all day at a themepark and not feel like im dying. I want to be able to go to a beach when its 30C degrees and not hide my ugly fat *kitten* in my own backyard. And of course, I would be lying if I didnt mention that I really want to look as frekking hot as I possibly can

Fatexpulsion

Mari22na wrote: »

Don't be scared. Be prepared. Don't worry. You have a face and a voice. Underneath that is your best friend. Your best friend has carried you through these years, standing quietly by your side. Go to the mirror and say, I love you.

Thank you for that

TavistockToad

Fatexpulsion wrote: »

Physically I am scared that I will have loose skin. The main reason for this is because my husband lost a lot of weight and ended up with loose skin and he has so many insecurities about it. He thinks he looks disgusting because of it which I ofc tell him that he does not and he knows that I love him no matter what he looks like. I loved him fat, I loved him very skinny (he went a bit too far there for a while) and I love him now. He says he wont care but, you know, isn't that what "youre supposed to" say?

Do you say it to him because you 'should' or because you love him regardless?

rheddmobile

Fatexpulsion wrote: »

Mentally I am scared that I'll have a massive personality change which has happened to a couple of friends of mine which included not being able to handle the excessive attention they recieved from the opposite sex so much that they started boning basically everyone who gave them a compliment and thought nothing of it despite having significant others. They said they got a new body and want to enjoy it.

Physically I am scared that I will have loose skin. The main reason for this is because my husband lost a lot of weight and ended up with loose skin and he has so many insecurities about it. He thinks he looks disgusting because of it which I ofc tell him that he does not and he knows that I love him no matter what he looks like. I loved him fat, I loved him very skinny (he went a bit too far there for a while) and I love him now. He says he wont care but, you know, isn't that what "youre supposed to" say?

My main reasons for loosing the weight is to have a happy healthy life, to be able to get pregnant when the day comes and have a healthy pregnancy both for me and the baby.

I want to go hiking in the mountains and camping along the trails, I want to be able to have the dog breed that I long for but cannot take on because it would just be frekking cruel as in my current state I would not be able to give it the activity that it needs and wants. I want to be able to walk around all day at a themepark and not feel like im dying. I want to be able to go to a beach when its 30C degrees and not hide my ugly fat *kitten* in my own backyard. And of course, I would be lying if I didnt mention that I really want to look as frekking hot as I possibly can

These are all excellent reasons to lose weight!

I feel bad for your friends - they must be so insecure to need that much validation from others. Losing weight doesn't cause personality changes, but it can reveal parts of the personality which were not expressed before. It sounds like you are more grounded, and it's a good sign that you don't want to act that way.

I learned that fit me enjoys running, who knew? And also that I like dressing up in skirts and being really girly. I never enjoyed it before because I never felt pretty before. But although I enjoy receiving compliments, which I get a lot more of now than I used to, my bond to my husband is intact. Have faith in yourself!

nutmegoreo

Fatexpulsion wrote: »

Mentally I am scared that I'll have a massive personality change which has happened to a couple of friends of mine which included not being able to handle the excessive attention they recieved from the opposite sex so much that they started boning basically everyone who gave them a compliment and thought nothing of it despite having significant others. They said they got a new body and want to enjoy it.

Physically I am scared that I will have loose skin. The main reason for this is because my husband lost a lot of weight and ended up with loose skin and he has so many insecurities about it. He thinks he looks disgusting because of it which I ofc tell him that he does not and he knows that I love him no matter what he looks like. I loved him fat, I loved him very skinny (he went a bit too far there for a while) and I love him now. He says he wont care but, you know, isn't that what "youre supposed to" say?

My main reasons for loosing the weight is to have a happy healthy life, to be able to get pregnant when the day comes and have a healthy pregnancy both for me and the baby.

I want to go hiking in the mountains and camping along the trails, I want to be able to have the dog breed that I long for but cannot take on because it would just be frekking cruel as in my current state I would not be able to give it the activity that it needs and wants. I want to be able to walk around all day at a themepark and not feel like im dying. I want to be able to go to a beach when its 30C degrees and not hide my ugly fat *kitten* in my own backyard. And of course, I would be lying if I didnt mention that I really want to look as frekking hot as I possibly can

I think it can certainly give you confidence that you didn't have before, but as for becoming more "active," I don't know that it's going to change your moral and ethical compasses. My guess would be that your friend's new body gave her the confidence to do the things she's wanted to do. Of course, I could be completely wrong there.

sksk1026

I think your weightloss journey will surprise you. It's going to be long and slow so there's time for everything- learning the skills you don't have, adjusting to your changing body and getting used to being treated differently. Focus on the first 5 kilos for now.

Diatonic12

Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear tells us to forget everything and run. Face Everything And Rise.

Lounmoun

Fatexpulsion wrote: »

Mentally I am scared that I'll have a massive personality change which has happened to a couple of friends of mine which included not being able to handle the excessive attention they recieved from the opposite sex so much that they started boning basically everyone who gave them a compliment and thought nothing of it despite having significant others. They said they got a new body and want to enjoy it.

Physically I am scared that I will have loose skin. The main reason for this is because my husband lost a lot of weight and ended up with loose skin and he has so many insecurities about it. He thinks he looks disgusting because of it which I ofc tell him that he does not and he knows that I love him no matter what he looks like. I loved him fat, I loved him very skinny (he went a bit too far there for a while) and I love him now. He says he wont care but, you know, isn't that what "youre supposed to" say?

My main reasons for loosing the weight is to have a happy healthy life, to be able to get pregnant when the day comes and have a healthy pregnancy both for me and the baby.

I want to go hiking in the mountains and camping along the trails, I want to be able to have the dog breed that I long for but cannot take on because it would just be frekking cruel as in my current state I would not be able to give it the activity that it needs and wants. I want to be able to walk around all day at a themepark and not feel like im dying. I want to be able to go to a beach when its 30C degrees and not hide my ugly fat *kitten* in my own backyard. And of course, I would be lying if I didnt mention that I really want to look as frekking hot as I possibly can

You are not your friends or your husband. You are you. You will still be you.

You can stay the way physically you are and learn to be happy about it and give up on some of the things you want out of life, maybe deal with health issues down the line or you can decide that the benefits are more important than your fears.
You might find it beneficial to speak to someone like a therapist if your fears and insecurities are stopping you from doing things you know will be good for you.