Paranoia

krystalraven
krystalraven Posts: 50
in Health and Weight Loss
I get terribly paranoid at times about eating in front of people. I worry that they're judging me because I'm fat...perhaps they think that I'm greedy and I don't deserve food. It gets me quite depressed. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between what I believe is happening and what is actually happening. Perhaps it's just my own insecurities? I don't know.

Replies

  • emjean76
    emjean76 Posts: 116 Member
    I don't want this to come off as mean, but it's just your insecurities. I used to hate working out in gyms or even going for a walk in my neighborhood because I thought people would judge me. Turns out no one is paying attention to me at all. They are caught up in focusing on what they are doing. If someone on the off chance IS actually watching and judging you, it's due to their own personality and moral flaws, not yours.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    I'll get flack for this but it would depend what you're eating for me. If I see a large person shoveling in greasy fast food or huge desserts I know I make a judgement that it is probably why they're fat. If I saw the same person having a sensible meal I would assume that they are trying to make better choices and are maybe on a weight loss program.

    The thing that really bugs me is when the obese person is on their 4th plate from the buffet and is complaining about not being able to lose weight or some other ridiculous issue considering what they're eating. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I live with that person!
  • kjg1965297
    kjg1965297 Posts: 121
    Nobody can directly affect you reaction to an event. Self confidence is what you require. If you feel that what you are eating is nutritious and healthy who gives a crap what others think. You are in a journey to change some things about yourself so it makes no difference what others think. Big or small everyone is beautiful and blessed. Don't let others take that from you. Be proud of yourself and when you trip up get right back up.:drinker: :happy: :bigsmile:
  • LizzieLS
    LizzieLS Posts: 3
    Don't worry about it so much! Easy to say, I know, but I've felt the same. I found the best way to kick this irrational feeling into touch is to eat healthy choices. You have to eat healthily to lose weight. I am also careful never to overload my plate and eat slowly. Even leave a small amount if it makes you feel more comfortable. I go out for lunch with various friends quite often and they are very non-judgmental. They know I'm trying and excuse the occasional lapse!
  • emmalousmom1
    emmalousmom1 Posts: 121 Member
    I'll get flack for this but it would depend what you're eating for me. If I see a large person shoveling in greasy fast food or huge desserts I know I make a judgement that it is probably why they're fat. If I saw the same person having a sensible meal I would assume that they are trying to make better choices and are maybe on a weight loss program.

    The thing that really bugs me is when the obese person is on their 4th plate from the buffet and is complaining about not being able to lose weight or some other ridiculous issue considering what they're eating. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I live with that person!
    wow, that person is so lucky to be living with you and your judging of others:(
  • katbirdinpa
    katbirdinpa Posts: 105
    so do I! Oh i'm on a diet, waiter, I will have the coconut french toast and sausage oh and extra butter please. UGGHHHHHHHH
    how about a nice poached egg, yes one is enough and some melon
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,451 Member
    so do I! Oh i'm on a diet, waiter, I will have the coconut french toast and sausage oh and extra butter please. UGGHHHHHHHH
    how about a nice poached egg, yes one is enough and some melon

    ??



    OP, just do you. What other people think is their problem.
  • flobotz2503
    flobotz2503 Posts: 5
    Eh I get this feeling sometimes, but its usually when I'm eating something sweet. *HUG* We just need to realize that most people can care less about what we are eating, and move past the feelings of insecurity.
  • mebepiglet123
    mebepiglet123 Posts: 327 Member
    If you are staying on track, and eating healthy foods , then you have nothing to fell insecure about.. If YOU know you are eating the wrong foods in front of people ( like a big pile of greasy fish and chips, of a huge pile of McDonald's then people probably are judging you... Only you control what goes in our mouth...if yo stick to plans in 2 years u will at a healthy weight and then everyone will judge you as a healthy, fit individual.....


    Up to u....put some of that paranoid energy into planning healthy choices and staying on track and you will be fine.

    Take care
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    I'll get flack for this but it would depend what you're eating for me. If I see a large person shoveling in greasy fast food or huge desserts I know I make a judgement that it is probably why they're fat. If I saw the same person having a sensible meal I would assume that they are trying to make better choices and are maybe on a weight loss program.

    The thing that really bugs me is when the obese person is on their 4th plate from the buffet and is complaining about not being able to lose weight or some other ridiculous issue considering what they're eating. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I live with that person!
    wow, that person is so lucky to be living with you and your judging of others:(

    You sit with someone day after day who eats in excess of 5,000 calories a day and then complains constantly about how their knees hurt, they can't breathe, they have heartburn, and none of that is related to obesity and that's not their fault because no matter how hard they try they just can't lose weight. If you want to be fat, be fat. Just don't try to make it everyone elses problem.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
    I'll get flack for this but it would depend what you're eating for me. If I see a large person shoveling in greasy fast food or huge desserts I know I make a judgement that it is probably why they're fat. If I saw the same person having a sensible meal I would assume that they are trying to make better choices and are maybe on a weight loss program.

    The thing that really bugs me is when the obese person is on their 4th plate from the buffet and is complaining about not being able to lose weight or some other ridiculous issue considering what they're eating. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I live with that person!
    wow, that person is so lucky to be living with you and your judging of others:(

    You sit with someone day after day who eats in excess of 5,000 calories a day and then complains constantly about how their knees hurt, they can't breathe, they have heartburn, and none of that is related to obesity and that's not their fault because no matter how hard they try they just can't lose weight. If you want to be fat, be fat. Just don't try to make it everyone elses problem.
    Well OP, I guess the takeaway from this is that, yes, most people are busy living their own lives but a fraction are probably judging you. And they don't sound like anyone I'd be concerned with. Just do you. Crap like this is just noise.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    I get terribly paranoid at times about eating in front of people. I worry that they're judging me because I'm fat...perhaps they think that I'm greedy and I don't deserve food. It gets me quite depressed. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between what I believe is happening and what is actually happening. Perhaps it's just my own insecurities? I don't know.
    I think it's mostly your own insecurities, but it's pretty common I think. I used to feel like that, and I think a lot of overweight people do, and will only eat in private. Truth is, most people won't care or notice, and a few people will (as we have seen in this thread). There will always be people who judge other people for a variety of reasons, and there's really nothing you can do about that. All you can control is your reaction, your thoughts & behaviours. You can let this paranoia go, with practise, if you choose to. It won't eliminate the possibility of someone, somewhere, judging you for eating, but you can let go of feeling bad about it.

    You will never please everyone, and you will never be liked or accepted by everyone, so try to focus on what you think about yourself, and what the people you care about think of you. The rest don't matter.
  • joleenl
    joleenl Posts: 739 Member
    I don't want this to come off as mean, but it's just your insecurities. I used to hate working out in gyms or even going for a walk in my neighborhood because I thought people would judge me. Turns out no one is paying attention to me at all. They are caught up in focusing on what they are doing. If someone on the off chance IS actually watching and judging you, it's due to their own personality and moral flaws, not yours.

    ^^This
  • ZombieEarhart
    ZombieEarhart Posts: 320 Member
    Edtied for double post.
  • ZombieEarhart
    ZombieEarhart Posts: 320 Member
    I'll get flack for this but it would depend what you're eating for me. If I see a large person shoveling in greasy fast food or huge desserts I know I make a judgement that it is probably why they're fat. If I saw the same person having a sensible meal I would assume that they are trying to make better choices and are maybe on a weight loss program.

    The thing that really bugs me is when the obese person is on their 4th plate from the buffet and is complaining about not being able to lose weight or some other ridiculous issue considering what they're eating. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I live with that person!
    wow, that person is so lucky to be living with you and your judging of others:(

    Seriously. I can just hit "ignore user" but that's a little harder to do while cohabitating.

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