Family aren’t supportive of my weight loss journey

Icarus098

Throughout my life I have always had problems with my weight and body image. The first interaction I had with my family about my weight was when I was around 10 years old. I remember crying to my own mother about how I hated my body and how I needed to lose weight. At ten years old I weighed 140 pounds and had a 34 inch waste and was probably around 5 foot. My parents told me that I was fine the way I was and that I didn’t need to change even though I was obese. Throughout my teens my weight has continuously been one of my largest problems. It got to the point where I am incapable of leaving the house without wearing layers of clothing. If I left the house in just a tshirt it would probably lead to severe anxiety and panics. Once again my family ignored it and told me that everything was ok and that I didn’t need to lose weight. I’m now a 19 year old 5 foot 9 and I got the biggest shock after weighing myself for the first time in years. I weighed over 200 pounds. This is the heaviest I have ever weighed in my life. I sat my family down and told them about my plans to lose weight and asked for their help and support. They completely shrugged it under the carpet and it’s frustrating. I want them to help me. I am overweight I am unhappy with my body. I am incapable of leaving the house without layers of clothing. My weight has affected my social life which is now virtually none existent. I have stretch marks all around my waist. I lost 12 pounds in the last month and thankfully I am now under 200 pounds. I told my parents and that just ended up with me being told that I am an idiot for wanting to lose weight and that I would look ugly if I was skinny and that my face wouldn’t suit it if I was skinny. I just feel like I need to avoid the topic completely with my family. Has anyone had experiences like this.

bufger

It sounds like you need to expand your support network and not rely on your families support. Here's an idea...

Use your family as fuel. Achieve your goal so you can go to a family gathering as the most toned person in the room gotta have goals and drivers.

If you need support you should also look to joining a sport club or something social. A soccer or basketball practice etc. Somewhere that you'll want to improve your ability to do something and the only way to get better is to get fitter and practise. That's when weight loss stops being a chore and is associated with fun things - then it's sustainable.

Best of luck!

TavistockToad

Icarus098 wrote: »

Throughout my life I have always had problems with my weight and body image. The first interaction I had with my family about my weight was when I was around 10 years old. I remember crying to my own mother about how I hated my body and how I needed to lose weight. At ten years old I weighed 140 pounds and had a 34 inch waste and was probably around 5 foot. My parents told me that I was fine the way I was and that I didn’t need to change even though I was obese. Throughout my teens my weight has continuously been one of my largest problems. It got to the point where I am incapable of leaving the house without wearing layers of clothing. If I left the house in just a tshirt it would probably lead to severe anxiety and panics. Once again my family ignored it and told me that everything was ok and that I didn’t need to lose weight. I’m now a 19 year old 5 foot 9 and I got the biggest shock after weighing myself for the first time in years. I weighed over 200 pounds. This is the heaviest I have ever weighed in my life. I sat my family down and told them about my plans to lose weight and asked for their help and support. They completely shrugged it under the carpet and it’s frustrating. I want them to help me. I am overweight I am unhappy with my body. I am incapable of leaving the house without layers of clothing. My weight has affected my social life which is now virtually none existent. I have stretch marks all around my waist. I lost 12 pounds in the last month and thankfully I am now under 200 pounds. I told my parents and that just ended up with me being told that I am an idiot for wanting to lose weight and that I would look ugly if I was skinny and that my face wouldn’t suit it if I was skinny. I just feel like I need to avoid the topic completely with my family. Has anyone had experiences like this.

stop discussing your weight with your family would be my advice

TheEmpress108

Are your family members obese? I asked because the responses they gave you sound like the excuses that people give when someone comes to them about an issue that they also have, but don’t want to address it.

You absolutely do not need the support of anyone else to do this! While it would be nice to have support, it doesn’t always end up that way. It sounds like you have been able to motivate yourself for the loss you’ve had so far. Great job on that. Keep up the great work.

sytchequeen

Woomy721 wrote: »

Are your family members obese? I asked because the responses they gave you sound like the excuses that people give when someone comes to them about an issue that they also have, but don’t want to address it.

exactly what I was going to ask

if "large" is "normal" in your family then of course they aren't going to see a problem.

Do this for you, there is no need to discuss it with them. You are an adult now, and your future is up to your choices, and very best of luck to you.

Lounmoun

Icarus098 wrote: »

Throughout my life I have always had problems with my weight and body image. The first interaction I had with my family about my weight was when I was around 10 years old. I remember crying to my own mother about how I hated my body and how I needed to lose weight. At ten years old I weighed 140 pounds and had a 34 inch waste and was probably around 5 foot. My parents told me that I was fine the way I was and that I didn’t need to change even though I was obese. Throughout my teens my weight has continuously been one of my largest problems. It got to the point where I am incapable of leaving the house without wearing layers of clothing. If I left the house in just a tshirt it would probably lead to severe anxiety and panics. Once again my family ignored it and told me that everything was ok and that I didn’t need to lose weight. I’m now a 19 year old 5 foot 9 and I got the biggest shock after weighing myself for the first time in years. I weighed over 200 pounds. This is the heaviest I have ever weighed in my life. I sat my family down and told them about my plans to lose weight and asked for their help and support. They completely shrugged it under the carpet and it’s frustrating. I want them to help me. I am overweight I am unhappy with my body. I am incapable of leaving the house without layers of clothing. My weight has affected my social life which is now virtually none existent. I have stretch marks all around my waist. I lost 12 pounds in the last month and thankfully I am now under 200 pounds. I told my parents and that just ended up with me being told that I am an idiot for wanting to lose weight and that I would look ugly if I was skinny and that my face wouldn’t suit it if I was skinny. I just feel like I need to avoid the topic completely with my family. Has anyone had experiences like this.

I don't know what your goal is and if it seems reasonable for your height and frame size or how you approached the conversation. If you told them you want to lose 70 lbs, aren't going to eat the junk they have been feeding you your whole life, have been losing at a fast rate then it might have been more negative vs if you said you wanted to lose 20-30 lbs and lose more slowly and would be eating smaller portions.Or maybe nothing would get a positive response.

You are 19 now. You don't need them to help you lose weight. Look outside your family. Find some friends with similar stats and goals here to share your progress with. Consult your doctor about what a good weight might be for you if you need some guidance. You get to decide what is right for your body and take responsibility for taking care of yourself.

I have pursued my weight loss without really involving my family. I set a goal to lose 1 lb a week with the aid of my fitness pal and logged what I ate. I have used the forums for support.

Keep up the good work!

missysippy930

Your family loves you unconditionally, and that is not a bad thing.
I never told anyone (family, friends, co-workers) that I was attempting to lose weight. Pretty soon everyone noticed and the compliments and positive comments were coming daily.
Keep doing this for yourself.

kmitch1001

You are an adult now and no longer need the approval of your family. You are doing the right thing by addressing this at your age. First, it will affect how you see yourself not only about your weight but about almost every aspect of your life. Once you see that you can accomplish a goal, any goal, with your weight, you will find out that you can accomplish anything in life. I was never athletic in my younger years and now have to start the same process you are going through at 65. Never give up. If you slip, jump right back on the path to your goals.