After 226lb and a lifetime...
ceiswyn
Posts: 2,256 Member
As of this morning, I have a BMI of 25. That’s a goal I’ve dreamed of all my life, in much the same way that one might dream of meeting a unicorn. It was never something I thought could actually happen.
Almost two years ago, this was me:
I was 27 1/2 stone (385 lb, 175 kg), BMI 60, with one permanently broken ankle and a damaged achilles that meant I couldn’t walk more than a couple of hundred metres without pain.
I had been fat and unfit for my entire life. I was obese by the time I was a teenager. I dieted on and off for decades, adult and child. I gave up on dieting and determined to just be happy with my body and enjoy life despite it. It helped my mental health issues, but the world wasn’t going to let me forget; at times I avoided going out because of the abuse I would get just for existing.
One day, at 39 years old, I couldn’t take the world’s hatred anymore. I thought everyone would be happier if I just ceased to exist. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and do it by starving myself. Either I’d end up dead, or I’d end up thin, and either of those alternatives seemed OK to me.
Unsurprisingly, the next few weeks involved highly disordered eating pattens! But I learned from them. I learned that my desperate emotional state could kill my appetite; and I started to wonder what other, more healthy, thoughts might have the same effect. I did lose weight, which told me it could be done if I was willing to try hard enough. I learned to get a kick from successful self-discipline that was better than the kick from doughnuts. I learned about the calorie content of different foods, and in comparing that to the eating patterns I’d been given by dieting organisations in the past I began to understand how I’d always stayed fat before - and how I might not stay fat now.
I started to take very short walks, within the limits of my damaged ankles, multiple times a day. Gradually they grew longer. Gradually my motivation changed from hatred of what I was to love of what I was becoming.
And this is what I have become:
I am 41 years old and 11 st 5 (160 lb, 73 kg), BMI 25. My ankle is still broken and my achilles is still dodgy, but they’re only rarely a problem now; they’re lifting so much less, and better supported by the surrounding muscles. I walk three miles every day, plus dance (badly) and enjoy half-killing myself at BodyPump and other gym classes. One of the above photos is immediately after ‘STRONG’ by Zumba.
Every time I look in the mirror (which is several times a minute!) I get a weird shock at not seeing the fat woman I expect - and also at finally, unexpectedly, seeing the slim woman a part of me has always expected.
I’m an entirely new person, and I’m having fun meeting her at last.
Almost two years ago, this was me:
I was 27 1/2 stone (385 lb, 175 kg), BMI 60, with one permanently broken ankle and a damaged achilles that meant I couldn’t walk more than a couple of hundred metres without pain.
I had been fat and unfit for my entire life. I was obese by the time I was a teenager. I dieted on and off for decades, adult and child. I gave up on dieting and determined to just be happy with my body and enjoy life despite it. It helped my mental health issues, but the world wasn’t going to let me forget; at times I avoided going out because of the abuse I would get just for existing.
One day, at 39 years old, I couldn’t take the world’s hatred anymore. I thought everyone would be happier if I just ceased to exist. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and do it by starving myself. Either I’d end up dead, or I’d end up thin, and either of those alternatives seemed OK to me.
Unsurprisingly, the next few weeks involved highly disordered eating pattens! But I learned from them. I learned that my desperate emotional state could kill my appetite; and I started to wonder what other, more healthy, thoughts might have the same effect. I did lose weight, which told me it could be done if I was willing to try hard enough. I learned to get a kick from successful self-discipline that was better than the kick from doughnuts. I learned about the calorie content of different foods, and in comparing that to the eating patterns I’d been given by dieting organisations in the past I began to understand how I’d always stayed fat before - and how I might not stay fat now.
I started to take very short walks, within the limits of my damaged ankles, multiple times a day. Gradually they grew longer. Gradually my motivation changed from hatred of what I was to love of what I was becoming.
And this is what I have become:
I am 41 years old and 11 st 5 (160 lb, 73 kg), BMI 25. My ankle is still broken and my achilles is still dodgy, but they’re only rarely a problem now; they’re lifting so much less, and better supported by the surrounding muscles. I walk three miles every day, plus dance (badly) and enjoy half-killing myself at BodyPump and other gym classes. One of the above photos is immediately after ‘STRONG’ by Zumba.
Every time I look in the mirror (which is several times a minute!) I get a weird shock at not seeing the fat woman I expect - and also at finally, unexpectedly, seeing the slim woman a part of me has always expected.
I’m an entirely new person, and I’m having fun meeting her at last.
340
Replies
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Wow what a fabulous transformation. So inspiring. I have about 10st to loose and reading your story made me feel like I can do it! Congratulations, you look amazing.8
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Truly amazing! Thank you for sharing
Congratulations on the milestone! 1 -
Absolutely amazing! What an inspiration
2 -
Absolutely amazing. Congrats. How tall are you?1
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melissa6771 wrote: »Absolutely amazing. Congrats. How tall are you?
5’7, why?2 -
2 -
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story.1
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WOW!!!! ♥️ Thank you for sharing your amazing weight loss success and pics. You are my inspiration today. 1
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BethElinor wrote: »Wow what a fabulous transformation. So inspiring. I have about 10st to loose and reading your story made me feel like I can do it! Congratulations, you look amazing.
Thankyou! And you absolutely CAN do it. You just have to believe it, and be willing to do what it takes.3 -
Congratulations on a huge milestone! I love following your new healthy and active life. You are a real inspiration my friend. So appropriate that your cell phone case is a butterfly, you have transformed into one and now can fly 5
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You look amazing!!!!!!!! Such hard work and dedication but on top of that you've found a discipline that can be applied to everything in life. Well done on graduating!4
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You're a rock star!3
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Congratulations on a huge milestone! I love following your new healthy and active life. You are a real inspiration my friend. So appropriate that your cell phone case is a butterfly, you have transformed into one and now can fly
Yeah, not with these noodle-arms
BUT I'M WORKING ON THAT.
And one day - ONE DAY - I will do a press-up.7 -
Congrats!!!! You look amazing! I have seen your posts in the NSV thread and they help keep me going. I started at 352.6 pounds and I'm down more than 75, so I'm on a similar journey to hit that magical BMI. Congratulations again on your amazing achievement!8
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A life liver indeed! Not a someday wisher......congratulations to you! Very inspirational!4
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You are a rock star! Please though--where are those frigid waters in that pic?1
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allisonlane161 wrote: »You are a rock star! Please though--where are those frigid waters in that pic?
Those photos are from my holiday-of-a-lifetime in Iceland - the lake is Jökulsárlón, which is glacial runoff. It was one of my longtime ambitions to go swimming with icebergs, and I really couldn't have asked for a more perfect setting. Probably just as well I did it then; I couldn't tolerate the chill now I've lost all my insulation!14 -
amazing story!! totally inspirational!!
1 -
Wow! Such an inspiring story. I bet you feel like a completely different person. Thank-you for sharing.2
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WOW!! You are awesome! Awe-inspiring! Congrats on how far you've come and just think of how far in life you've yet to go! What wonders you will yet see. Where your feet and determination and initiative will carry you after getting you so far. It is no less than amazing. Great job. 2
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All I can say is wow!!!! What an amazing feat! Thank you so much for sharing your story and continued good health to you 6
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Congratuations! Your story made my day. Keep on doing what you're doing!1
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Holy s***!!! That is one of the most impressive changes I've ever seen! Amazing, simply amazing. You look absolutely fantastic, and your story is such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing
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Thank you for taking the time to share your story. I’ve enjoyed your beautiful picture on your posts and it was great to hear how dramatically your life has changed. You are my inspiration for the week!2
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This is so amazing! Congratulation, you've earned it. Now to find that unicorn...5
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I found your account so inspiring - you so nearly gave up but, in spite of the negativity you were feeling and the hateful comments you received you found some positivity and in the end some fun! It is so important that we see the new ways as more fun than the habits that made us overweight! May you long continue to gain enjoyment from good food in appropriate amounts and lots of fun activities (body pump doesn't do it for me but hey, we're all born different ) I am busy telling myself that 62 isn't too old to play in the waves and ride a bike! Heartfelt congratulations x 5
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you are amazing and so inspiring! to come back from such a low is truly something special! thanks for sharing xx3
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Your story made me tear up a bit as I've felt the struggle for so long myself! I've gotten on and off the healthy eating bus but now that I have mild health issues, there's no better time than now to start. Thank you for sharing your journey you are truly an inspiration! congrats to your new journey ahead 2
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Five stars! Two thumbs up! Applause!
Very, very well done - so inspiring. Congratulations!1 -
Amazing transformation! Well done!2
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