I am inappropriate?? WTF??

LitaRose77

Feeling annoyed. I cam back from lunch & was confronted by 2 TMs (neither mine) & told that my clothes were not "Business Attire" The capris that I have worn dozens of times in the last 2 years, in their opinion, are shorts. My suede sandals, they consider flip-flops.

OK, they are thong sandals, I will give you that one. I wanted so bad to point them to a girl 1 aisle over who wears these thin, 1/2 inch black flip flops EVERY DAY, but I didn't. I wanted to say, look, my chest, butt & coochie are covered, which is a heck of a lot more than some of the chickies in our dept, but I didn't. I smiled, nodded & promised point forward to never wear either to work again.....I love how one person can get away with coming to work, looking like a hooker & my pants are too short?? If the one girl's skirt were any shorter, well, I'll let you use your imaginations.

I know that I should not pay attention to what others are doing, but, I get spoken to about my attire, which is not in the least bit offensive to anyone.....but theses other girls are running around with skimpy skirts & low cut tops, & that is ok?? Ai yi yi...

mister_universe

Yes. Yes you are.

Other's doing it does not exempt you. Own your misbehavior, you bad person.

Or take this flower: :flowerforyou:

iTrainHARD

You said it yourself that you've been wearing the same capris for two years right? So, who is to say that they aren't trying to implement a new dress code and the other women will be asked to dress more appropriately as well?

vtmoon

Bring it up casually next time you are doing your evaluation meeting with your TM. Ask if the dress code was changed or been enforced more. You can compare yourself to the other employee by asking can I wear what XY is wearing today. Don't come defensive or on the attack, just make it seem like you are genuinely confused and trying to know because you don't want to make her/him bad.

Seoul11

I was told my attire was inappropriate once by a manager because it was too colorful.
Turquoise pencil skirt with a baby pink sweater. Since when is color inappropriate? I was a teacher, not a funeral home director.

_Krys10_

I would ask for a copy of the written dress code.

TyTy76

Sounds like a personal problem.

SirBonerFart

You should quit and sue your employer

SoViLicious

I get pissed when I'm forced to wear more than pasties to work, damn HR and that sexual harassment panda!

Alex_is_Hawks

dress codes change..and they tend to change when management notices a decline in morale and/or clothing standards...

do NOT assume you were the only one talked to....do NOT assume that just because it was fine for the past two years it's not now..

our office used to allow jeans 5 days a week....last month they implemented a business casual atmosphere....

morale was down, some people were a little too casual in demeanor and style towards our clients...

it happens...

that's all.

junejadesky

Go to HR and ask to see the dress code.

ellew70

I would ask for a copy of the written dress code.

This, and then stick to it. You can't control what they do with other people, but you can make sure you don't get fired.

miss_jessiejane

I was told once that the dress I was wearing was inappropriate for work. I pointed out to my supervisor that a colleague was wearing the exact same dress, and was told that the other person did not have the same "assets" that I did, and it was therefore appropriate on her, but not on me. Sometimes body composition makes a difference as to what's appropriate, and what's not.

fannyfrost

I would have gone right to my manager and said. I am so upset, they told me I am not complying with the dress code. And I feel so bad, help me please. Where do I find a written copy so I don't break it again.

junejadesky

I was told once that the dress I was wearing was inappropriate for work. I pointed out to my supervisor that a colleague was wearing the exact same dress, and was told that the other person did not have the same "assets" that I did, and it was therefore appropriate on her, but not on me. Sometimes body composition makes a difference as to what's appropriate, and what's not.

Holy HR nightmare.....

PepperWorm

In all seriousness, don't focus on everyone else. Focus on you, adjust and move forward. There's a chance the other girls will get a firm talking to as well.

Jersey_Devil

Do they know you are using company time to MFP?

Cheeky_0102

you could wear this

SmoothRiko

That's why I'd rather be an entrepreneur. I can't take the corporate BS.

--Someone working in CorpAmer.

wannabpiper

I used to get into trouble every Friday for not wearing my battle dress; I just preferred the skirt and heels:blushing:

whierd

It sounds lIke you're dressIng too casually.

EmilyEmpowered

I was told once that the dress I was wearing was inappropriate for work. I pointed out to my supervisor that a colleague was wearing the exact same dress, and was told that the other person did not have the same "assets" that I did, and it was therefore appropriate on her, but not on me. Sometimes body composition makes a difference as to what's appropriate, and what's not.

I believe this is true! I have skirts that I have worn to work for the past year. To be fair, yeah they are mini skirts but our dress code states 4 inches about the knee is allowed, and these are. Anyway, I never had anyone comment when I was a little bit bigger and not as fit as I am now. Wore one last week, they are actually a bit longer now that they fit better. Got pulled aside and had to change, plus an email got sent out to the entire office about whats appropriate. :embarassed: There are other girls who wear the same attire (high heels, short skirts) and only about half of us get anything said about it. I am going to have to say, it depends a lot on how you look in those clothes, and being my supervisor is an older female the better you look, the more chance you will be asked to change. Its just the truth!

Personally, I always thought 4 inches above the knees is a little short for work, but if they are allowing it I had no problem wearing it, I like to dress up and show off my legs :laugh:

Pixi_Rex

dress codes change..and they tend to change when management notices a decline in morale and/or clothing standards...

do NOT assume you were the only one talked to....do NOT assume that just because it was fine for the past two years it's not now..

our office used to allow jeans 5 days a week....last month they implemented a business casual atmosphere....

morale was down, some people were a little too casual in demeanor and style towards our clients...

it happens...

that's all.

She said what I was thinking.

I wouldn't assume you are the only one that was talked to because my guess is you aren't.

Where I work we were able to wear tank tops forever, and just recenty they implemented the fact that we all need to wear long sleeves, even if it is 120 degrees in the shop (and it happens frequently in the summer). It just the way the cookie crumbles.

Smile, nod, move on. Not the end of the world.

__Di__

Feeling annoyed. I cam back from lunch & was confronted by 2 TMs (neither mine) & told that my clothes were not "Business Attire" The capris that I have worn dozens of times in the last 2 years, in their opinion, are shorts. My suede sandals, they consider flip-flops.

OK, they are thong sandals, I will give you that one. I wanted so bad to point them to a girl 1 aisle over who wears these thin, 1/2 inch black flip flops EVERY DAY, but I didn't. I wanted to say, look, my chest, butt & coochie are covered, which is a heck of a lot more than some of the chickies in our dept, but I didn't. I smiled, nodded & promised point forward to never wear either to work again.....I love how one person can get away with coming to work, looking like a hooker & my pants are too short?? If the one girl's skirt were any shorter, well, I'll let you use your imaginations.

I know that I should not pay attention to what others are doing, but, I get spoken to about my attire, which is not in the least bit offensive to anyone.....but theses other girls are running around with skimpy skirts & low cut tops, & that is ok?? Ai yi yi...

Then you need to point out the people that are wearing the same or similar to you and ask when they are going to be spoken to as well and point out that if they are not spoken to in a similar way to how you were treated, you will feel victimised and will take it further.

Simple as.

If they don't like it, they shouldn't single you out like that.

ryry_

Do you work in a business setting? I would assume the dress code is published in a place you can access it. And most of the time these things are called out after repeat offenses and a gradual decline in dress.

And honestly, just follow the dress code. When I was a manager, I had to tell multiple people what they were wearing was not appropiate in a business setting. Trust me, They don't like doing it anymore than you like hearing it. They don't want to treat people like children, so dress appropiate and you they wont. And also saying "But Suzie over there does it too" is what a child would do.

peeaanuut

if you wear shoes that go flip flip, guess what?? they are flip flops. I think flip flops are tacky looking and just because you add an accent doesnt make it a sandle and not a flip flop. personally I hate seeing jeans in the office. I had a guy walk into an interview in jeans, I politely told him have a nice day and called the next person in. And capri's are shorts. You were rightfully talked to as long as you were out of the dress code.

by the way, what is a TM?

MyChocolateDiet

My money is on that girl got talked to while you were out at wherever you "just got back" from wherever you were.

I HOPE for your sake you did not say any of these things to them. They would not make you look like a very respectful person who appreciates her job or trusts the powers that be to be fair about things. Now in a week of you coming in with your business attire that girl is still dressing like someone heading to the beach with her coochie on display, THEN you will have a leg to stand on to POLITELY go into someone's office and wonder if there are different rules for different people. Even then do not rule out the possibility that she is on her way out if she's still dressing like that and these things just take time and documentation.

How dumb will you feel if you come in tomorrow all obsinant in your threadbare capris and sad suede flip flops and she shows up in a 3 piece suit and professional pumps complete with vagina strangling pantyhose?

If I were you I'd reflect only on MY talking to and go shopping TONIGHT and show up tomorrow ready to play ball. It might be clean up time in your office and it's time to take out the trash.

luckyshilling

Hopefully you weren't the only one talked to. Give it a few weeks and see if miss 'skinny-flops' and miss 'like my undies? cuz my skirt is so short I keep flashing it' are still wearing them everyday. If no one else's attire seems to have changed. I would follow the advice of the people on here. 1) Acquire copy of dress code and then 2) Tactfully bring it up with your own TM.

Work is often the most frusterating part of our lives, but at least changing pants and shoes is easier to deal with than, say, your boss deciding they suddenly don't like the way format your reports even though they were the one who told you to do it that way in the first place.

Good Luck and try not to let them get you down. :drinker:

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Feeling annoyed. I cam back from lunch & was confronted by 2 TMs (neither mine) & told that my clothes were not "Business Attire" The capris that I have worn dozens of times in the last 2 years, in their opinion, are shorts. My suede sandals, they consider flip-flops.

OK, they are thong sandals, I will give you that one. I wanted so bad to point them to a girl 1 aisle over who wears these thin, 1/2 inch black flip flops EVERY DAY, but I didn't. I wanted to say, look, my chest, butt & coochie are covered, which is a heck of a lot more than some of the chickies in our dept, but I didn't. I smiled, nodded & promised point forward to never wear either to work again.....I love how one person can get away with coming to work, looking like a hooker & my pants are too short?? If the one girl's skirt were any shorter, well, I'll let you use your imaginations.

I know that I should not pay attention to what others are doing, but, I get spoken to about my attire, which is not in the least bit offensive to anyone.....but theses other girls are running around with skimpy skirts & low cut tops, & that is ok?? Ai yi yi...

As a manager,I would be terribly remissin dressing down the other employee publicly, or confiding in you that I had spoken with her as well. How can you know that she didn't get the exact same talk when you weren't around?

darkestdayz

Corporate environment I used to work for had a no visible tattoos policy. I have a small one on my wrist that is covered up by a bracelet. Was called out by a manager that had a huge heart tattoo'd on the side of her neck that was never covered. My bracelet had ridden up on my arm and she saw it. I was told I had to wear a bandaid on my wrist from then on. When I brought this to HR's attention, I was told that the manager's tattoo was ALWAYS covered by her hair. Seriously?

MyChocolateDiet

Corporate environment I used to work for had a no visible tattoos policy. I have a small one on my wrist that is covered up by a bracelet. Was called out by a manager that had a huge heart tattoo'd on the side of her neck that was never covered. My bracelet had ridden up on my arm and she saw it. I was told I had to wear a bandaid on my wrist from then on. When I brought this to HR's attention, I was told that the manager's tattoo was ALWAYS covered by her hair. Seriously?

With your permission, I would love to copy and repaste your story on all the "should I get a tatoo?" threads from here to forever.