LFM - comfort eating, depression, and PTSD
jclawst
Posts: 45 Member
So I’ve been using this app for about two months now, and I’d love to make some more friends.
I am a veteran and struggled with ptsd and resulting depression after leaving the military. I always put on a happy face and used humour and sarcasm to hide my inner sadness. I left the military and made it through law school but instead of turning to drugs and alcohol like many others, I abused food. Between August 2012 and May 2018, I went from about 210lbs to 296lbs. I was a little chubby at 210, I was fat at 296.
I had gone from being super fit in the infantry and in decent shape when I switched to the navy, to embarrassingly fat. I hadn’t let people take pictures of me in ages. I started isolating myself from friends and family. In early May of 2018, a five year old nephew slapped by stomach and announced that I had a fat belly. I hid my inner shame imitating fat b@st@rd from Austin Powers and making all the kids laugh. I left the wedding festivities and returned to my temporary home in the far north, determined to make changes.
In that thought process, I asked myself how I got here, how did I get so fat? But that was silly, I knew how I got there. It wasn’t some surprise that popped up out of nowhere.
I had spent the last 6 years being inactive and neglecting my dietary needs. The last four years were the worst of it as I spiralled out of control, eating my way through ptsd and depression, isolating myself, and being completely sedentary. I found myself going to Mac Donald’s and ordering for two or three people and then eating it all myself. I rarely left the office except when I had to, and barely opened the door or moved around except to take my dog outside or open the door to accept the takeout or pizza I would have delivered every two to three days. It was sad. I was sad. But May 6th 2018 was a day of realization, reconciliation, and actions and decisions that would lead me to revitalization. I returned home, emptied my fridge, and started anew.
Healthy eating has been a huge part of this, and gradually increasing my exercise and activity levels have helped me make excellent progress on weight loss and overall body recompostion. I’ve lost 33lbs over 9 weeks and intend on continuing.
I’ve been posting on Instagram almost daily and am looking forward to 8 more weeks before I post my first before and after pictures in early September. I only recently posted my first recent full body picture as I fit into a suit I haven’t fit into in 3 years. I still cringe when I look at the before pictures. I’m ashamed of how heavy I got, and proud of how much progress I’ve made so far - but it's still hard to look at myself before. I’m sure others share that sentiment.
I am a veteran and struggled with ptsd and resulting depression after leaving the military. I always put on a happy face and used humour and sarcasm to hide my inner sadness. I left the military and made it through law school but instead of turning to drugs and alcohol like many others, I abused food. Between August 2012 and May 2018, I went from about 210lbs to 296lbs. I was a little chubby at 210, I was fat at 296.
I had gone from being super fit in the infantry and in decent shape when I switched to the navy, to embarrassingly fat. I hadn’t let people take pictures of me in ages. I started isolating myself from friends and family. In early May of 2018, a five year old nephew slapped by stomach and announced that I had a fat belly. I hid my inner shame imitating fat b@st@rd from Austin Powers and making all the kids laugh. I left the wedding festivities and returned to my temporary home in the far north, determined to make changes.
In that thought process, I asked myself how I got here, how did I get so fat? But that was silly, I knew how I got there. It wasn’t some surprise that popped up out of nowhere.
I had spent the last 6 years being inactive and neglecting my dietary needs. The last four years were the worst of it as I spiralled out of control, eating my way through ptsd and depression, isolating myself, and being completely sedentary. I found myself going to Mac Donald’s and ordering for two or three people and then eating it all myself. I rarely left the office except when I had to, and barely opened the door or moved around except to take my dog outside or open the door to accept the takeout or pizza I would have delivered every two to three days. It was sad. I was sad. But May 6th 2018 was a day of realization, reconciliation, and actions and decisions that would lead me to revitalization. I returned home, emptied my fridge, and started anew.
Healthy eating has been a huge part of this, and gradually increasing my exercise and activity levels have helped me make excellent progress on weight loss and overall body recompostion. I’ve lost 33lbs over 9 weeks and intend on continuing.
I’ve been posting on Instagram almost daily and am looking forward to 8 more weeks before I post my first before and after pictures in early September. I only recently posted my first recent full body picture as I fit into a suit I haven’t fit into in 3 years. I still cringe when I look at the before pictures. I’m ashamed of how heavy I got, and proud of how much progress I’ve made so far - but it's still hard to look at myself before. I’m sure others share that sentiment.
7
Replies
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Thank you for your service. I'm glad you're back on track.
FYI, sharing your IG name is against the TOS of this site.1 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
...FYI, sharing your IG name is against the TOS of this site.
Thanks for the heads up - edited
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Great progress! You are doing great!1
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Thank you for your service and for Sharing your story with us.
Your doing great!1 -
Thank you for your service!! Heroes like you keep me motivated. When I'm killing myself up a flight of steps (working out) in 90 degree weather and want to stop, I think of my Veteran family members and friends and what they've endured. Keep Pounding!! You've got this!!0
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@jclawst
Thanks for sharing one of the most heartfelt testimonies that I've read here. Your service is appreciated, sir. I've recently lost my father, he served in two branches, US Marines and US Army. Understood how difficult it is to decompress, deprogram and start healing. Feel free to come over to our thread and talk about anything you want to. I'm interested in what you have to say about everything. We could use your insight. Respectfully. Marina
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10677448/support-that-doesnt-focus-on-challenges-but-on-relationship#latest0 -
Thank you for your service and well done on your loses and lots more to come you are doing so well 😀0
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