hard to stay positive

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emilyhultin
emilyhultin Posts: 38 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
just recently i’ve been diagnosed with disordered eating, and just told my mom about it yesterday. bad idea. she did not handle it well at all. she’s been yelling at me all day, trying to push more and more food at me, and has threatened to make me live at home next year and quit the cross country team if i don’t gain five pounds. i’m not even underweight at this point in time. her actions are really frustrating me and not helping my problem whatsoever, does anyone have any advice on how to get through this??

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  • Zoejohnse91
    Zoejohnse91 Posts: 227 Member
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    i don't know you or your mum and I know it's ridiculous, and it doesn't excuse the rough way she's handling, but she's scared. Having your baby tell you something you don't really understand and with media hype is horrendous. Let her calm down then maybe have a think on what she can do to help you and let her know. She'll feel better if she's helping and understands it I think.

    You've got this 💕 you're aware of it now and I hope you've got the professional help you need to sort it all out. I have friends in similar situations and their mum's go from just like yours to indifference and back again but they've cut their mum out the loop now with all the medical help and it hasn't helped them or her.
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member
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    Tough for you and, as a mother, I am sure it is tough for Mum too. Please talk to her when she is calm and give her some strategies so that she feels she can help you - you will need to explain clearly that shouting and forcing will NOT help. I don't know how old you are but I am sure my daughter would quickly (and lovingly) point out that I could not force her to move back home and that while wanting my support and love, I cannot solve the problem for her. Good Luck - so glad you have got a diagnosis and some medical back up - as was said earlier, explain to them that your mother isn't helping - they will be able to suggest to her how she can best help you X
  • Millicent3015
    Millicent3015 Posts: 374 Member
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    If you feel frustrated talking to your mum, do you think she would be open to reading a letter from you where you tell her that the more she tries to push food on you, the worse it makes things? That the more she threatens to drag you home, the more it makes you want to stay away? What will hurt you in the long run is your mum fixating on your eating and your weight. You could ask her instead to concentrate on helping you by learning about your condition and the do's and don'ts of supporting you. Explain that she will be more use to you in your recovery if she approaches you from a place of empowerment through knowledge than from a place of fear and ignorance. She will have to be scared in her own time, because what you need from her right now is strength and reassurance.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
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    Have you mom go to your next appointment with you, so she can understand the best way to help you.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    amfmmama wrote: »
    Have you mom go to your next appointment with you, so she can understand the best way to help you.

    that.

    the more she knows, the more she will feel in control. take her to appointments with you so she can learn, and learn what the prognosis is, and the best treatment modality and how she can HELP (because really, thats what she wants to do, she wants to HELP you)
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
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    OP was in July, and she last logged on in August, hopefully because that is what her treatment team suggested she do.

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