Lying to friends and family about weighing myself

crabbybrianna

I lie. If someone asks me if I lost weight I say “I don’t think so.” And if someone asks how much I’ve lost I say “I have no idea.” I hate talking about my weight loss and those answers pretty much shut people up.

Lillymoo01

I fully understand why you are doing this. Some people mean well but make things so much harder. I personally would not lie but make it clear that my weight and calorie intake is a conversation that is off Imits. Aside from my doctor no one needs to know.

swimmchick87

Based on what you posted, it makes perfect sense to lie about weighing. I get wanting to be vague with people. I have learned I don't do well under pressure at all- if I'm feeling really under pressure, I feel like I have to be 100% perfect and end up binging/falling off the wagon entirely when things aren't exactly perfect.

The big thing that people notice is when I go out to eat or to happy hour or something. Unless it's a big night out I don't like to waste calories on alcohol, so if I'm counting I typically have diet coke instead which people notice right away. They also notice that I've switched to ordering the lighter stuff on the menu. I try to brush it off with, "Oh no, I'm not on a diet, just trying to not completely stuff my face." Like a pp mentioned, if people know I'm "dieting" and I've worked a higher calorie treat into my day/week I hate having to deal with the, "You can't have that can you?"

Scubdup

swimmchick87 wrote: »

Based on what you posted, it makes perfect sense to lie about weighing.

That is EXACTLY what I was going to say. Looked at the thread title, and thought, "Hmmm, not sure I agree about lying", but then read the circumstances, and I think OP is completely right.

Not a fan of lying, about anything, and wondered if you could say, "I am weighing, I just don't want to tell anyone" but then I can see going down that route could just open yourself up to more judgement, criticism, advice whatever.

Keep up the good work OP!

HeyJudii

It's nice if you are dealing with sane, rational people that behave in a mature manner. But, not everyone has that luxury.
There are some people, that no matter how evasive your answer, will keep pushing, pushing. If you say, "Why do you ask" or, "That is a very personal question" or try to move the conversation in another direction, or try to deflect them with compliments or questions about themselves, will NEVER take the hint, and just keep verbally pushing you into a corner.
Whether they are well meaning or toxic, the results are the same. They make you feel hunted and/or stressed, and if your journey is already on shaky ground...

jmf286

Society would fall apart if people didn't lie. Imagine if everyone told the truth all the time! Nobody would like each other. So I think lying about what's no-one else's business anyway is just fine. Doesn't hurt anyone. Its all about the context.

kiela64

Yikes! That’s way too much attention. Absolutely, I’d do the same and maybe give them a frank discussion about backing off and how their scrutiny makes your progress more difficult.

I had a long conversation with my mom about getting a scale in the first place (she was worried it would negatively impact my mental health, because of her dieting experiences), but I don’t tell her I weigh daily (or almost daily).

When I go into the washroom to weigh myself I turn the fan on and it just looks like I’m using the washroom normally. Definitely lying by omission there. I think it’s warranted.

We only talk about my weight loss in terms of how I look/clothes fit etc. When I dropped a size I brought up how much I’ve lost, but otherwise we don’t discuss it. And that’s Enough! I think we’ve had total 5 conversations about what I look like, that she’s proud of me, etc. and I could have done with less.

This is such an awkward topic and to be scrutinized that closely is so....inappropriate. Moms will be moms, but sometimes setting ground rules is important. And if they don’t listen, and this helps, I’d definitely stick with it. Frankly it’s just not their business!

CSARdiver

A few mental steps I took when I started making positive changes in my life:

1. I stopped saying things that are untrue or made me weak.
2. I removed negative people from my life. Family we are stuck with, but I limit interactions with negative people and I became very vocal in confronting negative behavior.

Passive aggressive people thrive on silence and the politeness of others - they whither and die in sunlight. Not only is there no need to tolerate this, it is intolerable to accept this behavior.

Candyspun

I'm usually against lying, but if I were in your shoes, I would seriously lie my *kitten* off to avoid that sort of stress. I'm not telling too many people about what I'm doing. It's Winter here, and I really don't see many people at this time of year, so it's been great to just progress in peace, honestly.

OhMsDiva

I have never lied about my weight loss. I do not regularly talk about it either. I do not recall being asked how much weight that I have lost until I told everyone that I had lost 100 lbs. After that, my family would periodically ask how much I have lost as they could see I was constantly losing weight. Once I passed losing 200 lbs I stopped giving the exact number, as I did not think it really mattered to others.
Thankfully, I have had the weight off for a few years so nobody asks me anymore how much I have lost. Before starting to lose weight I was very uncomfortable talking about weight or anything diet related. I also realized recently that I used to be embarrassed to talk about eating food when I obviously was eating plenty.
The thorn in my side is my body and talking about it. Because I have lost so much weight I have loose skin and I have lymphedema is my legs. It is not my favorite topic to discuss, but I am teaching myself that it is okay because it is my current reality. As others have said, you do what works best for you. That is most important.

app_119

I refuse to answer people when they ask how much I’ve lost. Family, friends, customers, doesn’t matter. I think it’s rude to ask. I say very honestly “Sorry, I don’t answer that question “, or some variation. People are usually so surprised by the blunt answer that they don’t ask again.

I won’t engage in conversations about my eating habits, either. You need to establish boundaries. But if lying is what you need to do to protect yourself, then that’s what you do.

And congratulations on the weight loss!

clicketykeys

I think I would save lying for AFTER I'd asked them to stop asking me whether or not I'd lost - and perhaps asking them to do something else instead. Hopefully they want to be helpful. I might say something like, "I'm finding that talking about my weigh-in makes it more stressful. I'd rather talk about upcoming movies or something else that's unrelated. I promise, if I reach a milestone or feel like giving up, I'll let you know."

Then, if they either refuse, or agree and then renege, I wouldn't feel the least bit bad about fibbing whatsoever. They earned it.

hesn92

Do whatever works for you. I might just tell them the truth, that you don't feel comfortable telling anyone your weight.

JeromeBarry1

OP,
I haven't lied to my mom. She's dead.
I haven't lied to my dad. He's dead.

I put my all-time lowest weight picture on facebook, then gained 50 lb without changing the photo. I guess that means I lie to my friends.

pinuplove

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

OP,
I haven't lied to my mom. She's dead.
I haven't lied to my dad. He's dead.

I put my all-time lowest weight picture on facebook, then gained 50 lb without changing the photo. I guess that means I lie to my friends.

Doesn't everybody do that?

maureenkhilde

I am all for you doing what you feel is best for you. In the past I too had this issue. I then got to the point when asked I would just say back why does the amount, I have lost in a week or a month matter to you? It really only matters to me, and I am working on it. And no longer up for discussion. This happened a few times with some that were slow to Get It. And then when they figured out I meant it they quit asking. And I feel so much better now. Anyone asks, I just say I do not share the amount I am losing thank you.