hopeless feelings

uglystuff
uglystuff Posts: 11 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I am short fat and ugly. I was raised in a family of 9 children, and have since I was 10 years old been able to cook, sew and clean house. I went into nursing and ended up as a director of care. I retired and since then have gained and gained. I feel hopeless, useless and lonely but I am going to try and get back into a healthy state. I will never be useful again and will always be lonely, but I can at least be healthy. I joined TOPS on Wed and I am determined to record nutrient intake, and to start exercising again. I am 276 pounds...up since my 96 lb when i got married 51 years ago. You wont need a flair for the obvious to visualize my pain now.. uglystuff

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    edited August 2018
    I looked at your profile. You are not ugly. But you do sound overwhelmed. It's ok to make yourself a priority. Set up your MFP goals and eat according to the calories you're given. Exercise is good but not necessary at this point - a calorie deficit is a calorie deficit, whether it come from running marathons or simply diet.

    Also, you get one name change on MFP. I'd suggest you use it for something a little kinder to yourself :heart: ETA I thought I remembered you. I told you to change your name last year too :wink: At least I'm consistent.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Would you tell your friend or family member that they were fat and ugly? So why speak about yourself that way?

  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    You've dedicated your life to taking care of others before yourself. This happens a lot with nurses. Constantly giving without caring for yourself burns you out and leaves you with so little to give. You could do some volunteer work in several different settings. Elder care homes, children's ward, volunteer services at the hospitals, homeless shelters. So many options, if you feel that you need that to maintain a sense of self. Retirement doesn't mean you just disappear. You could also look for a casual position. Some unis will consider you for teaching if you have a bachelor degree, so you could consider supporting students as they move into their new career.

    I agree with changing your username. Make it something uplifting. Much of what I'm seeing in your post is the negative way that you perceive yourself and how you talk to yourself. I know, it's easier said from someone on the outside. There is so much you can do (weight and life in general), but it's never an easy road, so being kinder to yourself will make a big difference (smooths out some of the bumps).
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »
    I think you should start your journey by deleting the first sentence of your introduction. All the best..you really can do this x

    And changing your username to something positive.

    Weight loss is simple. Not easy, but simple. Eat fewer calories in a day than your body needs.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
    I doubt you are any of those things! And not useful anymore! I retired 10 years ago and I feel more engaged than I ever did and I'm 63. Are you just feeling a little lost because you worked all those years? It's tough when you retire, because you don't necessarily have the built in social network you had when you were working. The thing is this - you have to put yourself out there and let people know that you are open to new friends.
    You must have a compassionate heart have been a nurse, so why not turn a little of that compassion inward. No matter how you look right now on the outside, there is a beautiful woman inside and there always will be. A little positive thinking please!! And look at you - you already joined TOPS and you are committed to exercising. We all feel a little disgusted with ourselves in the beginning, but this is something you are can really commit to! And being a former nurse, you know how important it is to be healthy. So change your name, so we know you are thinking positive!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I can't tell you how sad it makes me to hear you talk about yourself that way. I have the deepest admiration for you and nurses everywhere. At the moment nurses are helping me to care for my elderly mother and their kindness, understanding and support is the glue that is holding me together.

    If a patient came to you expressing those same sentiments in those same words, how would you help them?

    Well now you need to give that same support and care to yourself.

    I am sure you will find many friends on here it can be a very supportive and friendly place. Good luck with getting healthy. I am sure you will reach whatever goals you set for yourself.





  • haleshaley3384
    haleshaley3384 Posts: 3 Member
    Can we be friends I’m new and need all the motivation I can get I’m over weight and feeling :( myself please add me and we can travel this journey together
  • ACanadian22
    ACanadian22 Posts: 377 Member
    My MIL joined TOPS a few years ago and lost so much. She is on maintance now. It is so much like here. It sounds like you have great support and now you have more on here ;)
    Welcome to the craziness and you will be awesome!
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
    It's sad to hear you describe yourself in this way. You really can do this but it need positive talk and vibes. Good luck

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