This feeling every time I’m perfect...

itsmeagain2016

Every time I start and restart a fitness/healthful eating routine I go through a period where ‘THIS IS IT! I’m back on track! I’m motivated! All is right with the world!’ Then in a week or ten days I have a few slip ups and then a few more and very quickly I’m right back at the gluttony and I’ve forgotten all about goals and effort and motivation! So here I am restarting again and life is good. Logging. Tracking. Motivated. Encouraged. I can see me getting to goal weight! Lol. Hopefully I skip the self sabotage phase this time!

Does anyone else do this?

kommodevaran

This is what poeple do before they figure things out.

To succeed, you have to take out some of the emotion, start taking the job seriously, stop thinking about gluttony, motivation and stop trying to be perfect and hoping things can be perfect for more than occasional moments.

Lillymoo01

Maybe stop trying to be perfect and make room for treats while still keep8ng at a deficit. The more you say you can't have something, the more strict you are, the more likely you are to binge and go over your calorie allowance. Feel like a cookie then ,make sure you have enough calories left to eat a cookie. Feel like pizza. Have a couple of slices with a large salad. Want to go out with friends for a special meal. Eat less calories in the days beforehand to give you a few extra for that meal.

yassinBak98

I think it's because you not having people around you to motivate you as it's the same thing for like you always want to then you start then end up where u started again this is all because not having people around you to motivate you this is why I'm here to make friends that can motivate me and friends that I can motivate them hope this has helped your more than welcome go give me a message I would love to help

hippysprout

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

Maybe stop trying to be perfect and make room for treats while still keeping at a deficit. The more you say you can't have something, the more strict you are, the more likely you are to binge and go over your calorie allowance.

^ this.

Don't make it hard.


ETA:

yassinBak98 wrote: »

I think it's because you not having people around you to motivate you as it's the same thing for like you always want to then you start then end up where u started again this is all because not having people around you to motivate you this is why I'm here to make friends that can motivate me and friends that I can motivate them hope this has helped your more than welcome go give me a message I would love to help

Having friends will not keep you in your calorie deficit. It is not "all because not having people around you to motivate you". Blaming your lack of discipline on everyone else not motivating you is a recipe for failure. OP has motivation or she wouldn't be logging or trying at all. She doesn't need motivation, she needs to build sustainable habits which is totally doable.

amusedmonkey

I've had so many discussions about this with people I know. I basically don't and never will blame fat people for getting fat, staying fat, or failing to stop being fat. people tell me I'm encouraging excuses and defeatism, but that's not it at all! Weight management is possible and doable, but possible doesn't mean guaranteed and doable doesn't mean effortless. It takes a lot of learning and habit building to get there.

I believe in order to successfully lose weight we need to acknowledge the obstacles and learn to understand the setbacks instead of expecting perfection and riding the waves of our feelings up to complacency and "you can do it" then down to self-sabotage and "you're a bad person because you failed to be perfect".

I found I needed to learn to accept less than perfect progress and not to rest on my laurels when progress is going to plan. Gained 10 pounds? Great! That's progress, last time I gained 15. What behaviors lead to less gain this time? I need to keep doing those. Lost as expected and achieved my monthly goal? Good, but it isn't permanent unless I make it so. The cards are stacked against me.

Forget motivation or lack of motivation and focus on "how do I live my life to facilitate weight management?", a process that is driven by trial, error, and observation. You keep what works and toss what doesn't. You are going to feel things in the process, but how you react to those feelings is up to you. Don't let your reaction to feelings be the main driver.

itsmeagain2016

So I’ve lost a ton of weight before. Got to goal weight. Biked a few centuries, ran a half marathon, climbed a few mountains. I was on top of the world. Had a few injuries. An illness. A trans ocean move. No one in my house was on my program. No one joined me on the biking. I was alone. So when the trouble started no one was there to help me see the signs and be a role model for how to handle the injury and lack of exercise. I could have used some friends or family who were helpful. Rather they seemed relieved I was sitting on the couch with them. Yassinback98 has a point. I’m not blaming anyone for my weight gain. But it helps when my hubs and friends are on the plan with me.

itsmeagain2016

I used the word ‘perfect’ as a tongue in cheek barb at my mistake! Oops. You people took me too seriously! Lol

itsmeagain2016

And as for the friend thing my very best friend is like a sister. We spend a ton of time together. We share a hobby. food is a big part of our friendship. Lunches and coffee and breakfast and weekends away! She is miserable with her weight but she doesn’t want to do anything about it. She says she doesn’t want to work that hard. She refuses. I’ve encouraged her and asked her to join me but she refuses. To help myself I will have to change the things I do with her and that will change the dynamic of our friendship and that makes me sad.

TavistockToad

Progress not perfection...

VUA21

We are human, that's means we are not perfect. No one is, anyone that claims they are is lying.

Motivation: fleeting at best. I've been on my journey for 3 years. There is no motivation that drags my butt out of bed at 5 in the morning to go run, that's called dedication.

Now, for spurts of motivation set two types of goals. One is weight, the other is activity. Keep a log of your activity and how you feel (everything from dedicated workouts to going up a few flights of stairs). Every month look back at where you were for activity, even if the scale isn't moving, there will be progress in what you are capable of doing.

Personally I like to set multiple small goals. Everything from lose 5lbs to finish 2 weeks of C25K to drop a pants size have been goals of mine. Every time a goal is reached, that's a success. Success breeds success, it becomes addictive to see how far you can get compared to where you started.

trublutopaz

It's hard because life interferes. A parent dies, a job is lost, stress is abundant, but even joyful events like births and weddings can lead one off the path. I've been trying to lose weight for thirty years. At one time I lost 50 lbs after a doctor put me on Cambridge-a protein only shake. That pretty much screwed up my metabolism for life. Put that together with a 20+ year bout of thyroid issues that finally got diagnosed two years ago and ended with removing the toxic nodule that had replaced my thyroid and it's been a tough ride. I've done Weight Watchers, Lean Bodies, Atkins, Gluten Free, Sugar Busters and countless more programs and all that happened was the weight came back with a vengence. I just had a hysterectomy and most of the cause was my weight. At 62, I feel exhausted and defeated. I have come back to FP just to see if I can make any sort of headway. I'm taking it one day at a time. My surgeon says I can return to work teaching next week. I'm hoping to wake up early and walk before work and the heat of the day. I'm avoiding all carbs if possible. All I can say is this is not a destination, it's a journey.

perkymommy

itsmeagain2016 wrote: »

Every time I start and restart a fitness/healthful eating routine I go through a period where ‘THIS IS IT! I’m back on track! I’m motivated! All is right with the world!’ Then in a week or ten days I have a few slip ups and then a few more and very quickly I’m right back at the gluttony and I’ve forgotten all about goals and effort and motivation! So here I am restarting again and life is good. Logging. Tracking. Motivated. Encouraged. I can see me getting to goal weight! Lol. Hopefully I skip the self sabotage phase this time!

Does anyone else do this?

I do it too. I've done it for the last couple years years. I lost down to my goal weight by 2016 and stayed for about 9 months then gained it all back that winter. I know I can do it but keep getting on track then off again then on then off. So I know your pain all too well. I "allow" life to get in the way.

perkymommy

itsmeagain2016 wrote: »

And as for the friend thing my very best friend is like a sister. We spend a ton of time together. We share a hobby. food is a big part of our friendship. Lunches and coffee and breakfast and weekends away! She is miserable with her weight but she doesn’t want to do anything about it. She says she doesn’t want to work that hard. She refuses. I’ve encouraged her and asked her to join me but she refuses. To help myself I will have to change the things I do with her and that will change the dynamic of our friendship and that makes me sad.

You may have to cut back on the lunch dates and time revolving around food if she isn't willing to do the same as you. You can get in to the right mindset to not eat like she eats but it may be hard. I have 3 kids and a husband that all eat the way they want so it does take a strong will to stick at it. But I always end up getting off track when I eat out. I get busy with the kids, errands about town and before I know it we gotta have lunch or dinner and I get it from take out. That's where I start to get off track usually. So that's the area I have to work hardest at is following how the others around me are eating.

jgdsf73

itsmeagain2016 wrote: »

And as for the friend thing my very best friend is like a sister. We spend a ton of time together. We share a hobby. food is a big part of our friendship. Lunches and coffee and breakfast and weekends away! She is miserable with her weight but she doesn’t want to do anything about it. She says she doesn’t want to work that hard. She refuses. I’ve encouraged her and asked her to join me but she refuses. To help myself I will have to change the things I do with her and that will change the dynamic of our friendship and that makes me sad.

I had the same situation. Getting together with my friend always involved food. She wasn't interested in fitness or dieting. In less than two weeks of my start date she also started eating healthy. Now we are planning trips to the local track and purchasing bicycles. Hopefully your progress will encourage your friend as well. Good luck!

elsie6hickman

I've had that problem. Lost weight, feeling good, then I must lose my mind, because something will happen and the next thing I know, I am right back where I was -well maybe further behind than I was before. Then I hate myself. This time, I think it will stick. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes so we are in this together - and my closest friend just had gastric sleeve surgery. Perhaps your sister will come around and be inspired by your success. I hope this is the last time you will have to lose weight again.

squeaker87

itsmeagain2016 wrote: »

Every time I start and restart a fitness/healthful eating routine I go through a period where ‘THIS IS IT! I’m back on track! I’m motivated! All is right with the world!’ Then in a week or ten days I have a few slip ups and then a few more and very quickly I’m right back at the gluttony and I’ve forgotten all about goals and effort and motivation! So here I am restarting again and life is good. Logging. Tracking. Motivated. Encouraged. I can see me getting to goal weight! Lol. Hopefully I skip the self sabotage phase this time!

Does anyone else do this?

Yup.