Last time I lost weight purposefully, I started binging. How can I prevent that this time?
gallicinvasion
Posts: 1,015 Member
In college (spring of sophomore year) in about 2010, I finally got my butt in gear, got a book called Dorm-Room Diet from a book swap, and ended up losing about 40 lbs (185-145lbs) over about 8 months. I was super happy, able to wear a bikini for the first time, logged my calories in a website, obsessively tried to hit all my macro and nutrient goals.
A little after that, I would occasionally have these periods late at night in the dorm room (no refrigerator or stored food, dining halls closed) where I would kind of flip out, scrounge for all the singles and change in my room, and absolutely gorge on the vending machine snacks until I literally hated myself. Like just shoveling food in my mouth. It felt so awful. I used to hide food as a kid because parents were usually against snacking between meals, but this felt different. I felt totally out of control.
I slowly started eating in more moderate amounts, but then it kind of morphed into this attitude of "Why should I deprive myself? Why should I care what society thinks of my body? Also processed food is super delicious" and I pretty much ate terrible food all the time (Chinese take out, processed snacks, McDonalds, creamy pasta dishes, anything with tons of sugar, salt, fat, etc). It soon turned into literally getting huge amounts of McDonald's every single day for lunch, and ordering out for dinner. I can't imagine how much money I could have saved by not doing that.
Finally in 2018 I'm trying to change my eating choices and habits, after going to a behavioral therapist who brought up the words "food addiction" which sounded pretty accurate. I've lost about 35 pounds just by counting calories (still eating foods I love) and staying in a reasonable deficit over 4 months.
But I am a little worried that this could morph into binging again. I haven't noticed any signs yet, I feel good, but it kind of haunts me. I don't want to feel out of control like that again. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any pointers for keeping healthy changes reasonable, and not letting my behavior and mindset change completely?
A little after that, I would occasionally have these periods late at night in the dorm room (no refrigerator or stored food, dining halls closed) where I would kind of flip out, scrounge for all the singles and change in my room, and absolutely gorge on the vending machine snacks until I literally hated myself. Like just shoveling food in my mouth. It felt so awful. I used to hide food as a kid because parents were usually against snacking between meals, but this felt different. I felt totally out of control.
I slowly started eating in more moderate amounts, but then it kind of morphed into this attitude of "Why should I deprive myself? Why should I care what society thinks of my body? Also processed food is super delicious" and I pretty much ate terrible food all the time (Chinese take out, processed snacks, McDonalds, creamy pasta dishes, anything with tons of sugar, salt, fat, etc). It soon turned into literally getting huge amounts of McDonald's every single day for lunch, and ordering out for dinner. I can't imagine how much money I could have saved by not doing that.
Finally in 2018 I'm trying to change my eating choices and habits, after going to a behavioral therapist who brought up the words "food addiction" which sounded pretty accurate. I've lost about 35 pounds just by counting calories (still eating foods I love) and staying in a reasonable deficit over 4 months.
But I am a little worried that this could morph into binging again. I haven't noticed any signs yet, I feel good, but it kind of haunts me. I don't want to feel out of control like that again. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any pointers for keeping healthy changes reasonable, and not letting my behavior and mindset change completely?
7
Replies
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1) Keep your calorie deficit reasonable. Often, the trade-off of slower weight loss is much better than the alternative, which is over-restricting until you go completely off the rails and ending up right back where you started from (or worse). It's not a race and there is no finish line.
2) There are two different strategies for food habits. Which one you choose depends on which one suits you better:
a) Eat the things you like in moderation, allowing 'treat' foods and fitting them into your calorie goals. Don't get hung up on eating "clean" (by whatever definition) and/or taking a binary approach where foods are "good" or "bad".
b) If moderation creates binging/adherence issues for you, exclude treats/'trigger foods' completely from your diet. Don't keep them in the house and avoid them as much as humanly possible.13 -
1) Keep your calorie deficit reasonable. Often, the trade-off of slower weight loss is much better than the alternative, which is over-restricting until you go completely off the rails and ending up right back where you started from (or worse). It's not a race and there is no finish line.
2) There are two different strategies for food habits. Which one you choose depends on which one suits you better:
a) Eat the things you like in moderation, allowing 'treat' foods and fitting them into your calorie goals. Don't get hung up on eating "clean" (by whatever definition) and/or taking a binary approach where foods are "good" or "bad".
b) If moderation creates binging/adherence issues for you, exclude treats/'trigger foods' completely from your diet. Don't keep them in the house and avoid them as much as humanly possible.
This is amazing. I think I used to go the B route, but I’ve been trying more like the A route this time.2 -
I think if you feel like you might lose control again, go for some top up therapy, with a view to formulating a few extra coping mechanisms that can help you in your particular situation. You may always have the fear of losing control, but maybe you can use that to your advantage by reminding yourself how bad it was when you were in the situation, and how good it feels every day to be out of it.
Is this about food for you, or is it about feeling in control of a part of your life where you had little or no control over the rest of it? Your parents initially decided what you could and couldn't eat, then you had the stress of college, and in both instances you became a secret eater because I suspect food became an emotional support. So I think you have to find emotional support from sources (self care, supportive people, habits, hobbies, therapy etc) that aren't food related.
On the practical side, you could cut down a little on the foods you love. Say you have three things a week. You could reduce it down to two a week, and replace with more neutral alternatives that you know won't trigger any bingeing.
If there's some things that you know could set you off into old, unhelpful or harmful eating patterns, you could consider avoiding those foods completely for good, for a long time, or until you feel able to handle them without sliding back into bingeing on them.2 -
Here’s some reading to get better insight in to why you may have done this.
- Read up on cognitive distortion and all-or-nothing thinking.
- Read Habit by Duhigg
- Read about the Elephant and the Rider theory from Haidt
The goal is to integrate your actions with your motives. The person raiding the vending machines is also you. What unmet need triggered the bingeing? I suggest this time around you come to peace with your emotional side, practicing more self care.4 -
I’ve struggled with binge eating my entire life. It helps me to keep my deficit very small, eat full meals at each sitting and to make them very nutrient dense. For example tonight I had a whole bag of frozen broccoli, two baked sweet potatoes and a protein smoothie. I’m full and will be satisfied for the night.
I’ve also realized that late afternoon is when I’m most likely to binge. So now, I skip breakfast and save those calories for 3-4pm when I really, really want them.
It sounds to me like you’re on a good path. Stay the course. Patience is the key.7 -
I had a hard time with it most of my adult life. In a little over a week, I will have been below a BMI of 25 for 6 months. I have not done that in 35 years. I still have the urges and even had a few mini binges, but haven't let my weight get above my limit. The only thing that works for me is having the desire to keep the weight off just as strong; it can't be just logic. I don't know how you convince yourself that getting overweight really can be a big deal health wise. It's easier for me because I turn 60 in a few months. If I let my weight balloon back up, it lowers the odds of me being able to enjoy the next 20 years significantly. That literally scares me. But it really was true even when I was younger; the odds of making it this far healthy were reduced by me being overweight. Therapy and tools to deal with the disorder are the best answer. But the main thing keeping my monster at bay right now is an even bigger monster.1
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Programs like Weight Watchers have Maintenance plans. Do you think it would help you if you joined a group? I understand there is also Overeaters groups for people that suffer from binge eating. But if you have been through therapy, why are you worried that you will binge again? Maybe more therapy time would help, until you feel confident.1
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For me planning is key. Keeping food on hand to always be prepared... I am learning that not having enough protein is a trigger for me. I didn’t believe that when I first heard it on the Half Size Me podcast. But I have been experimenting and it appears true for me. So I keep some tuna salad kits in my desk at work. When I am feeling the junk in the vending machine calling out to me I eat the tuna salad kit first and see how I feel 30 minutes after. She had some other ideas in her podcast specifically relating to binge eating but protein was the one issue that really helped me.2
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Millicent3015 wrote: »I think if you feel like you might lose control again, go for some top up therapy, with a view to formulating a few extra coping mechanisms that can help you in your particular situation. You may always have the fear of losing control, but maybe you can use that to your advantage by reminding yourself how bad it was when you were in the situation, and how good it feels every day to be out of it.
Is this about food for you, or is it about feeling in control of a part of your life where you had little or no control over the rest of it? Your parents initially decided what you could and couldn't eat, then you had the stress of college, and in both instances you became a secret eater because I suspect food became an emotional support. So I think you have to find emotional support from sources (self care, supportive people, habits, hobbies, therapy etc) that aren't food related.
On the practical side, you could cut down a little on the foods you love. Say you have three things a week. You could reduce it down to two a week, and replace with more neutral alternatives that you know won't trigger any bingeing.
If there's some things that you know could set you off into old, unhelpful or harmful eating patterns, you could consider avoiding those foods completely for good, for a long time, or until you feel able to handle them without sliding back into bingeing on them.
I think you make a good point. I think I'm lacking in appropriate coping mechanisms. In the past it's been food, now I feel like I sometimes lash out in terms of my temper at work.
I have been speaking to my therapist about how I've felt more stressed at work lately, and maybe food has been my stress outlet in the past, and now that I am not using that outlet, I've been using angry words instead. I just don't know; it's hard to tell.
These are good practical tools that you mentioned!0 -
Here’s some reading to get better insight in to why you may have done this.
- Read up on cognitive distortion and all-or-nothing thinking.
- Read Habit by Duhigg
- Read about the Elephant and the Rider theory from Haidt
The goal is to integrate your actions with your motives. The person raiding the vending machines is also you. What unmet need triggered the bingeing? I suggest this time around you come to peace with your emotional side, practicing more self care.
This echoes some of what my therapist has said, there could be unmet needs I'm not identifying. Can't wait to read up on some of these.0 -
I’ve struggled with binge eating my entire life. It helps me to keep my deficit very small, eat full meals at each sitting and to make them very nutrient dense. For example tonight I had a whole bag of frozen broccoli, two baked sweet potatoes and a protein smoothie. I’m full and will be satisfied for the night.
I’ve also realized that late afternoon is when I’m most likely to binge. So now, I skip breakfast and save those calories for 3-4pm when I really, really want them.
It sounds to me like you’re on a good path. Stay the course. Patience is the key.
Thank you! I have been thinking I should try to hit closer to my goal, not too big of a deficit. Sometimes I am 500 cals below my deficit goal, so I can probably safely go closer to the goal.
I've also been saving calories for nighttime! That's when I most want to relax, unwind, and not stress about how much food to eat or not eat.0 -
elsie6hickman wrote: »Programs like Weight Watchers have Maintenance plans. Do you think it would help you if you joined a group? I understand there is also Overeaters groups for people that suffer from binge eating. But if you have been through therapy, why are you worried that you will binge again? Maybe more therapy time would help, until you feel confident.
I think I'm worried because while therapy is helpful, I'm not sure if I can afford it forever, and I want to make lifestyle changes rather than just changes that only last while I'm in therapy.0 -
emmamcgarity wrote: »For me planning is key. Keeping food on hand to always be prepared... I am learning that not having enough protein is a trigger for me. I didn’t believe that when I first heard it on the Half Size Me podcast. But I have been experimenting and it appears true for me. So I keep some tuna salad kits in my desk at work. When I am feeling the junk in the vending machine calling out to me I eat the tuna salad kit first and see how I feel 30 minutes after. She had some other ideas in her podcast specifically relating to binge eating but protein was the one issue that really helped me.
Thanks! Yes I agree, I think eating more protein this time around might be helping me.0 -
gallicinvasion wrote: »I think I'm worried because while therapy is helpful, I'm not sure if I can afford it forever, and I want to make lifestyle changes rather than just changes that only last while I'm in therapy.
Beck Diet Solution was designed by Dr. Judith Beck, daughter of Dr. Aaron Beck who invented cognitive behavioral therapy. There's a book available, a workbook, and a lot of free resources and information on the site.
http://diet.beckinstitute.org/
Another site with good articles and resources (this by Dr. Judith Beck's daughter, who is also a mental health professional):
https://beckdietsolution.wordpress.com/
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You know what my inner elephant was worried about? It was worried about starving to death! So I had an internal chat with my inner self and promised never to let it go hungry.
I relaxed in to the process. It's just losing weight.3 -
gallicinvasion wrote: »Millicent3015 wrote: »I think if you feel like you might lose control again, go for some top up therapy, with a view to formulating a few extra coping mechanisms that can help you in your particular situation. You may always have the fear of losing control, but maybe you can use that to your advantage by reminding yourself how bad it was when you were in the situation, and how good it feels every day to be out of it.
Is this about food for you, or is it about feeling in control of a part of your life where you had little or no control over the rest of it? Your parents initially decided what you could and couldn't eat, then you had the stress of college, and in both instances you became a secret eater because I suspect food became an emotional support. So I think you have to find emotional support from sources (self care, supportive people, habits, hobbies, therapy etc) that aren't food related.
On the practical side, you could cut down a little on the foods you love. Say you have three things a week. You could reduce it down to two a week, and replace with more neutral alternatives that you know won't trigger any bingeing.
If there's some things that you know could set you off into old, unhelpful or harmful eating patterns, you could consider avoiding those foods completely for good, for a long time, or until you feel able to handle them without sliding back into bingeing on them.
I think you make a good point. I think I'm lacking in appropriate coping mechanisms. In the past it's been food, now I feel like I sometimes lash out in terms of my temper at work.
I have been speaking to my therapist about how I've felt more stressed at work lately, and maybe food has been my stress outlet in the past, and now that I am not using that outlet, I've been using angry words instead. I just don't know; it's hard to tell.
These are good practical tools that you mentioned!
I used to self-medicate with food but now I manage stress with regular exercise.
It's become a habit now - I get antsy at lunch time unless I push away from the computer and get some exercise.0
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