Needing More General Motivation

Skelders88

Hey folks,

Last year around this time, I kicked myself into high gear and lost ~40 lbs. Before then, I slowly lost 30. Three huge factors played into my motivation at the beginning: My sister started to really lose weight around that time. I didn't want to be outdone :P so I started competing. Boogie2988 (a YouTuber) went through weight loss surgery and lost a bunch. Then finally, however superficial it may be, I saw a really cute girl perform at a live musical show, and I thought "I want to get in shape so I might be able to catch a date with a cute girl like her." (Lame I know, but anyway...)

The biggest ongoing reasons are the fact that I really want to extend my life as long as I can (I almost killed myself with caffeine overload, but stopped and lost a ton of weight so my heart forgave me), find the love of my life, and make sure I'm in the best shape I can be for when we have kids (I'm already almost 30, I'm gonna be old when I do eventually have kids).

That said, over the past few weeks, I've been doing what I can, but the same passion for fitness and weight loss isn't quite there. A few months ago, I was walking a few times a week and riding my bike the rest. I was easily keeping my calories under my daily limit. I could keep my cravings under control.

Now, for the past week, I've been over my calorie limit by 100-250 calories almost every day. My cravings are harder to fight off, and my inspirations are fading. I've plateau'ed for the past three weeks, but I suspect some of that has to do with semi-regular strength training. (I've been lifting 10 lb dumbbells, in 3 sets of 10, for numerous muscle groups)

What do you do when the going gets tough? I've lost almost 70 lbs, and I need to keep going. I won't be happy until I'm down to ~150 (I'm at 238ish now) and fairly toned. So I need to eat better, find a way to fend off the cravings, and keep the cardio going.

Another thing I've been having issues with involves food. Like today, I went to Ihop. I had plenty of calories left, so I got the cheeseburger omelette. I know the nutrients are important too...not just the calories, but I was going to get the chicken and waffle, but opted for the higher calorie, arguably unhealthier option. I need to get back the willpower to stick with my healthier choices, and consume the right kind of food.

So tl;dr: Between eating better, maintaining a regular workout routine, and just making better decisions in general and sticking to the healthiest lifestyle possible, does anyone have any fail-safe tips for this kind of thing?

kommodevaran

Forget "motivation" in the buzzword sense, the one where you strive to feel happy about white-knuckling through some extreme, senseless regimen in the hope that this will make you healthy, this time I'm determined enough! That's not how these things work.

I think that what you need to do, is actually to lose some enthusiasm. You either go all-in, or all-out. Health and weight management is a forever project, and you will burn out in no time if you aim for the healthiest lifestyle possible, which isn't just totally not necessary, but an oxymoron too - a healthy lifestyle is balanced, you can indeed eat well both nutritionally and enjoyably at the same time.

For this shift to happen, it's important that you stop dividing foods into good and bad, healthy and unhealthy. All foods can be eaten in moderation; your diet can be more or less healthy, and your diet is the total of what you eat over time. If you try to be too strict, because you haven't learnt to eat pleasurably in a healthy way, you fall back to what you think of as safe and pleasureable, and you have no other alternative than to go back to the lifestyle that made you overweight.

Use your food diary. Prelog a whole day. Aim to hit your calorie goal, pick food you like, and use the default macros to guide you towards a balanced diet. Practice, practice, accept that you will mess up, be patient, learn from your mistakes, listen to your gut, but also use common sense, figure out what works for you.

Skelders88

kommodevaran wrote: »

Forget "motivation" in the buzzword sense, the one where you strive to feel happy about white-knuckling through some extreme, senseless regimen in the hope that this will make you healthy, this time I'm determined enough! That's not how these things work.

I think that what you need to do, is actually to lose some enthusiasm. You either go all-in, or all-out. Health and weight management is a forever project, and you will burn out in no time if you aim for the healthiest lifestyle possible, which isn't just totally not necessary, but an oxymoron too - a healthy lifestyle is balanced, you can indeed eat well both nutritionally and enjoyably at the same time.

For this shift to happen, it's important that you stop dividing foods into good and bad, healthy and unhealthy. All foods can be eaten in moderation; your diet can be more or less healthy, and your diet is the total of what you eat over time. If you try to be too strict, because you haven't learnt to eat pleasurably in a healthy way, you fall back to what you think of as safe and pleasureable, and you have no other alternative than to go back to the lifestyle that made you overweight.

Use your food diary. Prelog a whole day. Aim to hit your calorie goal, pick food you like, and use the default macros to guide you towards a balanced diet. Practice, practice, accept that you will mess up, be patient, learn from your mistakes, listen to your gut, but also use common sense, figure out what works for you.

This is excellent advice. I've always been a big advocate of eating whatever you want, just in moderation...although, my family has a tendency to take it to extremes...and by extremes, I mean usually moderation goes out the window. lol I've come a loooong way in using moderation with everything, but I've worked on that lifestyle for a long time, and just recently I've been actually making it work to lose as much weight as I have. I definitely feel a desire to shift my diet to more healthy foods, but I'm not going to pretend I can't have something that's not so good every now and again. I just really need to watch portions--that's the part that's killing me this past week.

That said, I like the message I got from your third paragraph. Food is food. I need to try to watch categorizing different foods as good or bad, it's all just food. It has nutrient information, and sure, some of it's really bad for you, but it's edible, just not great for my goal, so keep an eye on how much I consume.

Going all-in, or all-out is a key thing here that I didn't realize, and this can actually be applied to my sister too. We were actually just talking about this yesterday. She's gained back all the weight she lost because she gives up if she has one bad day. It's best to take it all in stride, and just get back to it the next day. My enthusiasm kills me sometimes, because I get a little too caught up in various things, then when it either doesn't work out, that fall kind of hits hard. I'm not entirely sure if this is what you meant, but I need to go all in on a balanced, well-thought-out diet, and don't sweat the small hiccups every now and again. I just need to commit to doing the best I can, hurdles and all.


Probably the actual "healthiest lifestyle possible" is just balancing healthy foods with bad ones. Enjoying life, and just sticking with what works. Like you said,

Practice, practice, accept that you will mess up, be patient, learn from your mistakes, listen to your gut, but also use common sense, figure out what works for you.

Thanks for the input!

elsie6hickman

Just an observation, but it sounds like you are thinking in terms of "prizes" instead of long term health. Your weight has nothing to do with meeting the love of your life - she is out there and when the time is right, you will find her. You don't have to go all in- because then you are setting yourself up for failure. You won't get a prize for being the best dieter ever and if you are too focused on food, you'll probably lose your friends. Just get up every day with the intent to do your best. Good Health is it's own reward

Skelders88

elsie6hickman wrote: »

Just an observation, but it sounds like you are thinking in terms of "prizes" instead of long term health. Your weight has nothing to do with meeting the love of your life - she is out there and when the time is right, you will find her. You don't have to go all in- because then you are setting yourself up for failure. You won't get a prize for being the best dieter ever and if you are too focused on food, you'll probably lose your friends. Just get up every day with the intent to do your best. Good Health is it's own reward

Right. Sometimes it's hard to remember the 'prize' of living healthily isn't nabbing the girl of your dreams or like an instantly fit body or something. It all takes time, and a lot more influences all of that than just your eating habits and lifestyle.

Long term health is, by all means, a motivator for me. After the run in with caffeine and energy drinks that I might have mentioned in the op, I really wanted to extend my life and live as healthily as I could for as long as I can push it.

But your observation is correct. I need to get away from the mentality. Thanks!

emmamcgarity

Have you taken any planned maintenance breaks?

half_moon

I'm not sure if this would fit into your lifestyle, but I found that lifting weights gave me newer motivations. I wanted to be stronger, lift more, do more things at the gym. I didn't want to kill my workout by eating badly, and knew I would be stronger if I continued my diet. I also found a gym that was a bit competitive and drove me to be better. That sort of motivation helped me, as looking at photos or thinking about how I wanted to look like usually just gave me anxiety and made me hungrier. Heh.

Also, like another post said, plan a maintenance week. Just one week where you maintain and give yourself a mental break from it all. Then come back inspired and ready!

CarlBFrog

half_moon wrote: »

I'm not sure if this would fit into your lifestyle, but I found that lifting weights gave me newer motivations. I wanted to be stronger, lift more, do more things at the gym. I didn't want to kill my workout by eating badly, and knew I would be stronger if I continued my diet. I also found a gym that was a bit competitive and drove me to be better. That sort of motivation helped me, as looking at photos or thinking about how I wanted to look like usually just gave me anxiety and made me hungrier. Heh.

Also, like another post said, plan a maintenance week. Just one week where you maintain and give yourself a mental break from it all. Then come back inspired and ready!

Great advice here. The best thing for me though was getting a workout buddy. I used to struggle to maintain motivation to workout but I found a friend with similar goals on health and strength. We agreed to workout together at least once every week and workout alone 3 times a week. Now 6 years later we workout together 3 times a week and alone 3 times a week. We really motivate and drive each other.

Skelders88

emmamcgarity wrote: »

Have you taken any planned maintenance breaks?

I have not, but this is a good idea. I'll try to work some in, and see if that changes anything! Thank you.

half_moon wrote: »

I'm not sure if this would fit into your lifestyle, but I found that lifting weights gave me newer motivations. I wanted to be stronger, lift more, do more things at the gym. I didn't want to kill my workout by eating badly, and knew I would be stronger if I continued my diet. I also found a gym that was a bit competitive and drove me to be better. That sort of motivation helped me, as looking at photos or thinking about how I wanted to look like usually just gave me anxiety and made me hungrier. Heh.

Also great advice! I have a set of weights at home, but maybe starting at a gym would help push it that much farther. I don't have good equipment at home, so the bench press and other machines would probably go a long way too. Thanks!

PeterGriffit wrote: »

Great advice here. The best thing for me though was getting a workout buddy. I used to struggle to maintain motivation to workout but I found a friend with similar goals on health and strength. We agreed to workout together at least once every week and workout alone 3 times a week. Now 6 years later we workout together 3 times a week and alone 3 times a week. We really motivate and drive each other.

I think a workout buddy helps a lot. I currently do not have one. I like for the extra person to hold me accountable - which I do get with all the mfp friends I've been making, but actually going on walks, runs, and going to gyms with someone would be invaluable.

All great tips and advice, everyone. Thanks again!