Significant other issues?
eurotrashcc
Posts: 26 Member
in Chit-Chat
Does anyone else have a significant other that seems to hate you trying to lose weight? Do they worry that you will find someone better? If so, did they tend take you for granted, or treat you like you didn't matter before?
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Replies
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My ex used to complain that I was too big. Then when I lost some weight, he complained that my butt was smaller. He swore that spot reduction was possible. For many reasons, I dropped him and am 160 lbs lighter now.14
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eurotrashcc wrote: »Does anyone else have a significant other that seems to hate you trying to lose weight? Do they worry that you will find someone better? If so, did they tend take you for granted, or treat you like you didn't matter before?
Usually not about the weight, already issues in the relationship and spills into not wanting to see you happy due to their own misery. Sound familiar?
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Ditch that zero, get you a hero! 😎7 -
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. Well, I'm kinda glad. I don't want any of you guys to be sad or miserable of course! Have an awesome week! 😊5
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My wife tries to test my resolve daily.1
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eurotrashcc wrote: »I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. Well, I'm kinda glad. I don't want any of you guys to be sad or miserable of course! Have an awesome week! 😊
Communication is key, get on same track there and the misery dies down. If not... run. 😬1 -
Relationship partners should be supportive, lift you up, make life better, all that good stuff. What you describe is toxic.4
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I have heard about significant others doing this, I think they are often insecure. They should be happy you are trying to improve your health.2
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I have heard about significant others doing this, I think they are often insecure. They should be happy you are trying to improve your health.
I agree with the insecure part. However, I also believe insecurities can stem from issues prior.. such as trust issues, infidelity ect.
That’s the tough part about working crap out, that some choose to walk away from. Now I don’t know this man, or if that’s the case here.
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orangegato wrote: »Relationship partners should be supportive, lift you up, make life better, all that good stuff. What you describe is toxic.
Yes exactly.2 -
Initially my wife, while acting supportive, did a lot to try and sabotage my healthy lifestyle (I never had so many of my favorite junk foods bought in a such a short amount of time). I just stayed the course and eventually the sabotage waned but it still pops up now and then. The most recent occurrence was getting the pout face when she asked if I was going to eat "healthy" while on vacation and the choosing restaurants where I had limited options for meals but I made do.3
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Don't feel bad. It's very common, and not just with spouses, but with friends and coworkers also.
Losing weight upsets the balance of your relationships. You've leveled up.
Just imagine if your wife got a huge promotion that was double your salary. How would you feel?
Have compassion for her.
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I wonder if its significant weight loss that makes so many men and women cyber cheat here on MFP......7
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I wonder if its significant weight loss that makes so many men and women cyber cheat here on MFP......
Bojack - a family member gained some weight while I lost weight. Her fiance was cooking for her. They came over and he mentioned how he didn't appreciate the men in her DMs on FB. Then he mentioned he didn't like her weight and how he was going to get her in the gym.
First thought: HE'S ASKING FOR IT.
She's already a beautiful woman, getting enough male attention to make him uncomfortable, then he wants to make her hotter, when he was the catalyst for her gaining weight in the first place.
Then he's going to take her into an environment full of hotter men than he is, who are thristy af, and don't mind a beautiful woman with a bit of chunk to her. These hot guys are going to be saying, "hey beautiful," while his not hot self is calling her fat.
Is it the significant weight loss, or the contrast between how they are being treated?
Just a thought.
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I wonder if its significant weight loss that makes so many men and women cyber cheat here on MFP......
I still believe it's the "fluff" factor. Day-to-day life dampens even the most consistently complimentary partners while most start taking each other for granted immediately. Having someone new/fresh saying positive, ego boosting things fluffs the feathers a bit without the risk of any real feelings or risks of the negatives of an actual relationship. All upside, very little downside if the reality of the situation is kept in mind. Partners sometimes benefit too - when someone feels sexier/more attractive/more fit, the person most accessible has a tendency of reaping the physical rewards.
*Disclaimer*. This is a theory I have, not a suggestion or justification to not adhere to the boundaries established in a relationship.2 -
Familiarity breeds contempt.1
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I wonder if its significant weight loss that makes so many men and women cyber cheat here on MFP......
I still believe it's the "fluff" factor. Day-to-day life dampens even the most consistently complimentary partners while most start taking each other for granted immediately. Having someone new/fresh saying positive, ego boosting things fluffs the feathers a bit without the risk of any real feelings or risks of the negatives of an actual relationship. All upside, very little downside if the reality of the situation is kept in mind. Partners sometimes benefit too - when someone feels sexier/more attractive/more fit, the person most accessible has a tendency of reaping the physical rewards.
*Disclaimer*. This is a theory I have, not a suggestion or justification to not adhere to the boundaries established in a relationship.
Great Post !
.... what are you wearing?0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »I wonder if its significant weight loss that makes so many men and women cyber cheat here on MFP......
Bojack - a family member gained some weight while I lost weight. Her fiance was cooking for her. They came over and he mentioned how he didn't appreciate the men in her DMs on FB. Then he mentioned he didn't like her weight and how he was going to get her in the gym.
First thought: HE'S ASKING FOR IT.
She's already a beautiful woman, getting enough male attention to make him uncomfortable, then he wants to make her hotter, when he was the catalyst for her gaining weight in the first place.
Then he's going to take her into an environment full of hotter men than he is, who are thristy af, and don't mind a beautiful woman with a bit of chunk to her. These hot guys are going to be saying, "hey beautiful," while his not hot self is calling her fat.
Is it the significant weight loss, or the contrast between how they are being treated?
Just a thought.
Ok ill play along. So whether it be weight loss, or positive, even if its falsely positive comments, does this validate sending nudes and sexting someone outside of the relationship without the other partners knowledge?4 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »I wonder if its significant weight loss that makes so many men and women cyber cheat here on MFP......
Bojack - a family member gained some weight while I lost weight. Her fiance was cooking for her. They came over and he mentioned how he didn't appreciate the men in her DMs on FB. Then he mentioned he didn't like her weight and how he was going to get her in the gym.
First thought: HE'S ASKING FOR IT.
She's already a beautiful woman, getting enough male attention to make him uncomfortable, then he wants to make her hotter, when he was the catalyst for her gaining weight in the first place.
Then he's going to take her into an environment full of hotter men than he is, who are thristy af, and don't mind a beautiful woman with a bit of chunk to her. These hot guys are going to be saying, "hey beautiful," while his not hot self is calling her fat.
Is it the significant weight loss, or the contrast between how they are being treated?
Just a thought.
Ok ill play along. So whether it be weight loss, or positive, even if its falsely positive comments, does this validate sending nudes and sexting someone outside of the relationship without the other partners knowledge?
Sending nudes is a bit extreme.
I was just saying that men who harrass their women to lose weight are often upset when they do.
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