Random Topic: When do being supportive go too far?

marybethbeech

I'm trying to be a supportive friend, but I'm worried that I'm actually just being an enabler. One of my dearest friends (let's call her L) has been in a "long distance relationship" with a guy (we'll call him C)who has been deployed to Iraq. They dated years ago and he dumped her abruptly. They reconnected via Facebook during his deployment and they've been talking quite a bit.

C is coming home soon and L has lots of big plans for the two of them. I haven't talked to him, so I don't know for sure, and she and I don't even live in the same state so my understanding of events has been heavily skewed by L's interpretation. Our friend Krista lives in the same town as L and she has witnessed a lot of things that make her believe that this relationship is very one-sided on L's part.

I don't find that too hard to believe. To L, C will always be "the one who got away." I really want to make sure she's not setting herself up for disappointment. I don't want to be super encouraging and help strengthen her delusions about this relationship )if that's what they are) if it's just going to build her up for a big fall. HOWEVER, I truly don't know what' s going on in C's head. Maybe he has changed... I doubt it, but it could happen. Maybe he really is ready for a commitment. with L.

My gut is telling me this guy is no good. But all I have is my gut and Krista's account. And it would really hurt L for me to switch gears now. BUT maybe it would hurt less than C will hurt her in the long run... Or she could just get really upset with me and a huge rift would grow in our relationship, which I can't live with. She's one of my oldest and dearest friends and I don't want to compromise our friendship no matter what.

I know this is not fitness related at all, but I would really appreciate some advice. What do you guys think?