Frustrated with a coworker

heidiberr

So a coworker and I have both started a weight loss journey around the same time. She has a lot less to loose than me but she checks in with me frequently--sees how I'm doing--etc. And every time I tell her about something I'm doing and some success, it's all wrong. Because I measure my body and not my weight, I'm not doing this right. Because I don't eat processed meals and eat real fresh food I made, I'm not doing it right. She even told me measuring my body to find body fat compared to just going by the weight/height chart is wrong. Or because I sweat a lot when I work out, I'm burning off my muscles.

It's so frustrating. And I don't want to let her comments eat at me, but they do. She tries to act like an fitness expert when I know she's no better off than me, especially if she needs to loose weight as well.

I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job. I'm down a clothing size, almost into the next one. I just hate that she picks at everything I'm doing.

No one wants someone to manage their diet, so why can't she get off my back?

Rant over.

TheMaidOfAstolat

Actually, you're doing it the right way! Keep it up. She will most likely gain that weight back. Eating less processed foods, measuring (not just weighing), and not going by a height/weight chart is ideal. And just because you sweat a lot does not mean that you're 'burning muscle mass'. She's jealous of how you have improved your life. Just stop talking to her about it (I know, it's a hard thing to do)...but sh'll get the message that you no longer want to talk about weight loss with her. Bring up another subject or say that you are not able to talk about it (or say 'oh, I gained back 5 pounds' and see how she reacts, if she's friendly or makes a comment with a snide smile). Best of luck.

hamiltonba

Don't give her details. When she asks, tell her you are doing fine and are feeling great. Then change the subject. If you don't give her information, she can't comment on it.

motherhippo

I agree with Hamiltonba's advice. Also, turn the questions back on her during your conversation. If you are the one asking the questions, you are in control of the conversation.

Amber030583

Sounds like you are doing it the right way. Need someone to still work with you on it Friend me and hopefully I can be better support! Keep rockin' it!

hellokatee

Don't be discouraged. You have this website to surround yourself with people who want to help you, not compare themselves to you. I am here to tell you that fresh is the way to go. I tried eating Lean Cuisine for the longest time. Myself and a girl at work started getting terribly sick. Switching to fresh food was a much better alternative. I shop at an organic store and munch on fruits and veggies all the time. Keep up the good work!

lilchino4af

I wouldn't listen to anything she says because of what you've relayed, none of it is right. The height/weight chart doesn't take into account age/build/etc. Eating fresh foods are better for you than processed foods because you control what goes in your food and don't have to worry about any hidden ingredients that could sabotage your weight loss. Sweating has nothing to do with burning muscle mass (it's your body's way of cooling itself when it gets too hot). Measuring should be a must for everyone because most people will encounter than inevitable plateau where you're body is creating muscle mass and burning fat so they offset each other on the scale and you don't "see" progress on the scale.

So I agree with hamiltonba, don't give her details and change the subject. She'll eventually get the idea and stop asking.

Good luck and keep it up!

Fit4Vet

I have these same problems from people that are close to me. They see that I am looking better & comment on how so & so lost a ton of weight doing the cabbage soup diet or some such nonsense diet "craze". I just politely say that's great for them & then move past it. I've had people tell me that I don't NEED trail mix because I'm not on the trail. And, that my body doesn't NEED to be fed every 3 hours because I have so much "fat" on my bones.

Bite me.

And, then I move on. I chalk it up to people's stupidity. YOU know you are doing it the right way & are having success. Just remember that when some people open their mouth, they only show their ignorance.

heidiberr

Thank you everyone! I know I just need to cut the toxic people out of my life--it's just reassuring to hear what I'm doing is right!

leavinglasvegas

Sounds like you need to just plain not discuss it with her. Let your success do the talking. Your lack of sick days, your radiant skin, your awesome, positive, happy mood, your noticable shrinking- those things are all she needs to see, not hear.

When she winds up on Lean Cuisine OD and starts losing immunity and taking more sick days- you can say, Hmmm, sucks to be you, but I don't have that problem.

If there is one thing I have learned, its to walk away from these conversations as soon as it becomes evident that the person is not of like-mind. Not only does it annoy me, but it makes me lose respect for people. I know thats harsh, but it happens. I get tired of hearing about how people are losing with out the work. They always wind up crying when they are sick or gain it back. And they just can't make the connection. My only advice to them comes from my own personal success. They have a choice to accept it, or criticize it. Whatever their choice is not my concern. However, if they choose to criticize, I'm done talking. Don't mind a disagreement or debate, but sometimes it leads to personal attack. Then I'm done. Period. They get the hint eventually, and I have lost nothing but a nuisance.

I recently became a facilitator for a vegan group at my church. I posted the info on facebook because I have over 300 contacts on there. Many of them go to my church or are also veggie/health nuts. My daughter overheard my mom and sister talking about how I'm forcing my religion down peoples throats with my posting of this group about FOOD, health, and eco living! Really? My own family. Guess what? My sister is close to 400 pounds and regardless of her dairy allergy, will eat till she pukes and just constantly complains about migraines. She is always posting things about being sick, headaches, doctors, etc. Why does she have a problem with my posting something that I am honored to have been selected to do? Something that could lead to a job while I'm unemployed? Something that has taken me from very ill to perfect health? It has nothing to do with religion. It is her inability to accept that I am correct, and she has failed herself. Shes the "educated" one in the family, going to teach at a major university this fall. Shes supposed to be the smart one in the family. Yet had to change her career because she was too big to participate in field trips that required mountain climbing in college. Not that she should, or anyone has to go vegan. But seriously, why not admit what your doing is not working? Why not think outside the box? Because of jealousy and refusal to admit that she is wrong. So, I walk away. Its her problem, not mine. Eat the cheese till you puke, take drugs to repair your esophagus and take drugs that are doing nothing for your headache. Keep denying that your weight is dangerous, because our family is and always has been fat. God forbid anyone admit they are fat because they eat crap in serious excess and don't take any effort to move unless its to the fridge, rather than genetics. Whatever.

Sorry, guess I needed to rant a little too.:blushing:

LotusF1ower

So a coworker and I have both started a weight loss journey around the same time. She has a lot less to loose than me but she checks in with me frequently--sees how I'm doing--etc. And every time I tell her about something I'm doing and some success, it's all wrong. Because I measure my body and not my weight, I'm not doing this right. Because I don't eat processed meals and eat real fresh food I made, I'm not doing it right. She even told me measuring my body to find body fat compared to just going by the weight/height chart is wrong. Or because I sweat a lot when I work out, I'm burning off my muscles.

It's so frustrating. And I don't want to let her comments eat at me, but they do. She tries to act like an fitness expert when I know she's no better off than me, especially if she needs to loose weight as well.

I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job. I'm down a clothing size, almost into the next one. I just hate that she picks at everything I'm doing.

No one wants someone to manage their diet, so why can't she get off my back?

Rant over.

She likes the fact that you had more to lose than her, she hates the fact that you are doing great and she is now getting uneasy, because she thinks that you are catching her up somewhat.

It is all about control on her part and if she doesn't quit, although you may not think it at the moment, you will end up completely resenting her and it could put a massive strain on your friendship and may even destroy it.

She should get off your back, unfortunately, you will need to tell her otherwise she will continue and could get worse as you gradually lose more and more weight and catch her up.

For what it's worth, I had a best friend years and years ago that was similar to your friend, always bossing me about and I used to let her, until one day (we both worked at the same place) she embarrassed me in front of some coworkers regarding my work. We ended up not talking for a year and even after that, it was never the same. :grumble: