Help! Really struggling with SWEETS and MODERATION

missmelis1976
missmelis1976 Posts: 17 Member
in Getting Started
Hi All,
I'm new to posting in here. I've used MYP off and on for a few years. Just recently I started back up counting my calories. I've gained 30 lbs in the past few months. Heaviest I've ever been. I'm 5'8 1/2" and as of this morning weigh 168.9. My goal is 143. I was roughly 143 - 4 years ago and felt great and was comfortable in my skin. I feel VERY sluggish and just awful these days. None of my clothes fit and I'm very upset with myself for getting this way so far.

My problem? Several! I love, LOVE food. I'm a foodie big time. I have a hard time with moderation. For instance as I write this I have a share size of M&M's in my desk drawer at work. I KNOW the bag is full. It's a large bag. I will literally eat this bag within 1 day whereas other people it would take days to eat. I can't eat just one serving - 12 M&Ms.

Another issue I have is my sweet tooth. It's over the top. Always has been. I could care less about salt. If I had my way I would eat sweets (99% of the time I'm talking about CHOCOLATE) all.day.long. I would skip breakfast, lunch and dinner and just eat chocolate. I love it so much. I'm talking good quality milk chocolate. I can deal with dark but dont care for it.

My diet is terrible. I dislike fruits and most veggies. I do love proteins and carbs - of course. haha!

I have a 3 year old, work full time and dont have time to get to a gym.

We have a treadmill that is collecting dust in our basement.

Please anyone! Give me advice/tip/advice on how to get out of this sluggish depression I am in. I want to lose this weight, feel alive and active and full of energy again.

Thank you for reading.

Replies

  • toughmuther
    toughmuther Posts: 27 Member
    edited September 2018
    For me personally, ducks down from thrown rocks and boohissses, lol was going keto. I only respond because your story is identical to mine..those M&Ms are share with myself sizeable. Then also I'll eat more after that. My breakfasts were candybars and Diet Coke.
    I went keto on June 28th and no joke every single craving is gone...GONE I'm losing about 1lb/week, haven't been going to gym (yes counting cals and macros to stay net 25carbs, but keto makes it so easy to stay in range). Is this the only way? No..but from one sugaraholic to the other, its what worked for me. I'm 43 and went to Dr. because I thought I needed depression meds, so lethargic, no energy, I'd rip off a face in mere moments..ba ha ha and that is all gone. Weird as can be, but maybe an option.
    Best of luck!
  • EmotionalEater84
    EmotionalEater84 Posts: 311 Member
    After reading this, here is my opinion in a nut shell:

    1. You disliking fruits and vegetables is a struggle, but my suggestion would be to work with the ones you DO like. 2. Not everyone needs to hit the gym to lose weight or exercise for that matter. Take your 3 year old on walks, run up hills, jump up and down .. play like a kid does - that is basically HIIT =) Ride bikes together, go swimming .. there are so many great options available to you.
    3. Finally, your biggest issue according to this post, is to modify your sweets intake - I am not sure how to tell you to do this one. You have to make a conscious choice and effort to change this in order to reach your goals.

    I am a true believer in balance and moderation. You will never have to give up chocolate, but you will have to sacrifice your cravings for food that you might not want to eat at times. You might want to try a IIFYM plan - this will allow for dieting flexibility that I think you need from what I read here.

    Best of luck to you on your journey <3
  • Cassandraw3
    Cassandraw3 Posts: 1,214 Member
    You don't need a gym/to work out in order to lose weight. It helps for overall health, but it is not required. I also do not recommend sacrificing sleep as your body needs that time to recover from the day. What has gotten my sweet tooth down a bit was going without added sugar for a month (I tried to do it for lent, but caved). When I went back to eating sugar, I couldn't handle as much sweets.

    The other thing I do, is I do not buy anything which I am not willing to sacrifice the calories if I eat the whole package. I lack the will power to say no to only eating 1 serving out of that package of twizzlers. I will eat the whole damn package so I don't buy that. A single candy bar is generally around 250 calories for the full size, so I can usually find a way to fit that in. I have been cutting for about 6 months and it comes in waves with how easy it is to say no.
  • deepwoodslady
    deepwoodslady Posts: 12,183 Member
    I am a binge-er. Dark chocolate is not my favorite either. But that is exactly what I use to curb my chocolate cravings because I won't binge on it. Start with 72% cacao. Eat 1-2 squares (whatever your calories/macros allow for the day) when you crave it the most (I eat mine at night in front of the TV). I break each square into about 8-10 small pieces and let each melt in my mouth slowly. By the time I'm done, it's been 15-30 minutes and I feel like I've been eating chocolate non-stop, and so does my brain (yay, I tricked it!). Slowly over the next few months you can raise the cacao number to 85%. I do 90% now but it is EXTREMELY BITTER. I have grown used to it and still feel like I'm indulging. You can even break it into pieces and take it to work if need be. Dark chocolate is lower in calories and lower in carbs. The antioxidants are a bonus! Best of luck.
  • missmelis1976
    missmelis1976 Posts: 17 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    You have two options - moderation or abstinence.

    I'm a moderator. I plan for 200-300 calories of sweets (usually chocolate or ice cream) every night after dinner. If I try to cut them completely out of my diet, I freak out after 3-4 days and binge on them.

    Other people cannot moderate. One bite and they are off on a binge. They have to completely cut that item from their diet.

    Find out which one you are, and do that.

    Thank you! When you say 200-300 for ice cream/chocolate at night...Do you eat regular chocolate or the carb control kind? This might be a good start for me
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,280 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    You have two options - moderation or abstinence.

    This.

    There is no magic spell that is going to help you do one of the other. It's not a situation where you can't....you simply choose not to. Not being mean but we all have it in us to make the right choices.

    I confessed that before I did my restart on here, I finished a bag of Rolo's because I didn't want to waste them. Yeah....I admit it. But since I started back, I haven't had ONE piece of candy in my mouth. I simply chose not to buy or eat it. And as a diabetic, candy is NOT a good life choice.

    If you CAN go the moderation route, purchase ONE of something....not a bag. One piece of something as a treat. And that's it. I have a sweet tooth....got it from my mother....but I realize it's like an addiction and I have to beat it. And I am. Even with Halloween looming on the horizon. :)
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    missmelis1976 wrote: »
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    You have two options - moderation or abstinence.

    I'm a moderator. I plan for 200-300 calories of sweets (usually chocolate or ice cream) every night after dinner. If I try to cut them completely out of my diet, I freak out after 3-4 days and binge on them.

    Other people cannot moderate. One bite and they are off on a binge. They have to completely cut that item from their diet.

    Find out which one you are, and do that.

    Thank you! When you say 200-300 for ice cream/chocolate at night...Do you eat regular chocolate or the carb control kind? This might be a good start for me

    I know the answer to this and carb control is not in it :laugh: @quiksylver296
  • LuckyNumbers
    LuckyNumbers Posts: 208 Member
    I am with a lot of other posters here, but will repeat what @Cassandraw3 said - if I know I am going to binge on something, I just don't buy it. Right now, I have zero trigger foods in my house, because I cannot trust myself to go off the deep end when I have a bad day or I'm bored or stressed or fill-in-the-blank (in my case, it's red wine and tortilla chips).

    So that bag of M&M's? Portion into single servings for the week, and when you leave each day for work, you take one of those with you. If you know you're going to have a hard time fending off the bag in between servings, ask a coworker or your partner to hide the bag the rest of the time. Seriously.

    On your lunch break or other breaks at work, push away from your desk and go for a walk. Or do squats. Or lunges, or planks, or jumping jacks, ANYTHING! Your body needs the movement and eyes and your brain need the break. This will help with your energy levels, as well.

    You can do this, but it's going to take work, commitment, planning, resilience. All of these are within you.
  • missmelis1976
    missmelis1976 Posts: 17 Member

    WOW thanks everyone for your comments.

    I'm leaving for lunch in 30 min and didn't bring a lunch. BAD!!! I'm STARVING! So I'll go to the grocery store and hopefully find something low in calories.. I'm thinking those California rolls in a package of 6 in the deli section. The ones with the crab meat and avocado. Going to first check online to see how many calories are in those.. but I figured it would be better then bread/sandwich
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  • amywizengamot
    amywizengamot Posts: 14 Member
    missmelis1976 wrote: »
    ...work full time and dont have time to get to a gym.

    We have a treadmill that is collecting dust in our basement.

    Please anyone! Give me advice/tip/advice on how to get out of this sluggish depression I am in. I want to lose this weight, feel alive and active and full of energy again.

    Thank you for reading.

    Hi! First off, you have a banging sense of humor and are honest with yourself, and that is going to help you throughout your efforts! I know how crappé it is to gain weight in a few short months. It feels miserable. Digital fist bump of solidarity.

    So, I can’t add too much that is unique but I can echo two specific things enthusiastically —
    I am with @dtelsah — I get up earlier than I’d ever imagined possible to get my exercise in. It took me a month or so to get used to it, but for seven years I’ve been doing it habitually and I don’t dread it. I wake up just fine at this point.

    And @toughmuther has a good point about keto and sweets. I’m on a ketogenic diet for medical reasons, but boy oh boy did it edit my sugar craving genome. I used to literally fantasize about pancakes and maple syrup while I was running. I couldn’t be in the same room as a peanut butter cup without tearing into it. I’m just not the same anymore.

    The only thing that really ever helped me with weight loss was the ritual of logging my food into MFP. It kept me informed and honest and in control. Good luck to you, I think you’ll do very well!
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    missmelis1976 wrote: »
    WOW thanks everyone for your comments.

    I'm leaving for lunch in 30 min and didn't bring a lunch. BAD!!! I'm STARVING! So I'll go to the grocery store and hopefully find something low in calories.. I'm thinking those California rolls in a package of 6 in the deli section. The ones with the crab meat and avocado. Going to first check online to see how many calories are in those.. but I figured it would be better then bread/sandwich

    Preplanning and bringing a lunch will help a lot. If you can eat before you get to that starving stage, or have food in place when you do hit it, you are less likely to eat foods that will not easily fit into your goals. As for the sandwich, I've found several that are only 300-350 calories, so easy enough to fit into the day. Carbs are not the devil here, they can fit into a balanced diet and do not stop weight loss, if you are in a calorie deficit. Some medical conditions respond better to low carb, but in absence of these, it makes no difference.

    For treats: For the longest time, I had to buy single servings of things that I had little control around, things like ice cream. I would also eat them towards the end of the day, so it was a little satisfaction at the end of the day and didn't set me up for craving for more for hours on end. Slowly over time, I began to bring in multiple serving sizes, and practiced taking only one serving each day. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. So I'd go back to single servings for a while, and then try again. I can now keep those things in my house, without overeating them. It's time, practice, and patience.

    The best thing I've ever done in all of this was to stop labeling food as good or bad. Does this help me meet my goals (80% of the time - 20% is for treats)? And stopping feeling guilty every time I consumed something that didn't fit in my goals for that day.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited September 2018
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  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    edited September 2018
    pinuplove wrote: »
    missmelis1976 wrote: »
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    You have two options - moderation or abstinence.

    I'm a moderator. I plan for 200-300 calories of sweets (usually chocolate or ice cream) every night after dinner. If I try to cut them completely out of my diet, I freak out after 3-4 days and binge on them.

    Other people cannot moderate. One bite and they are off on a binge. They have to completely cut that item from their diet.

    Find out which one you are, and do that.

    Thank you! When you say 200-300 for ice cream/chocolate at night...Do you eat regular chocolate or the carb control kind? This might be a good start for me

    I know the answer to this and carb control is not in it :laugh: @quiksylver296

    That^^

    I have real chocolate. Fake chocolate isn't worth the calories. Don't waste the delicious points (calories) on food that isn't delicious!
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    You just have to make a decision. Do you want to lose weight and be healthier? Then do it! You don't have to go all in on some crazy diet and workout every day for 3 hours. Think of small changes you can make, one at a time. That are sustainable for life. You don't HAVE to go to a gym. Maybe to start - you just go on a walk every evening with your child. Ride a bike. etc. Maybe choose a quick 20 minute workout video that you do a few times a week. Surely you can squeeze a 20 minute workout in. Pick a vegetable that you want to try, and find recipes/new ways of cooking them. Honestly as far as eating more vegetables, I think you just have to do it and eventually you will learn to like them.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    dtelsah wrote: »
    I'm a single dad of a 10 year old and work more than full time. You can make time for exercise! I sacrifice sleep, but it's worth it. I get up at 4 am every day and have two hours to myself for exercise and etc.

    ^^this^^ I am a single mother - an only parent,. raised two kids 1 year apart...ran my own business and they did sports etc. I could not afford NOT to go to the gym AND it set a great example for them. the gym was my VILLAGE. and that is what it takes.

  • sweetsal64
    sweetsal64 Posts: 23 Member

    It sounds like you need some tough love here. How much do you love your daughter? How much do you love yourself? Remember, your daughter is very impressionable and will pick up on your habits, good or bad. You need to set the BEST possible example around her concerning food choices and exercise.

    You say you don't have time to go to a gym. So, that is out. How about walking? If you have any sidewalks, malls, bike paths, parks around, go for a walk...take the daughter with! What better example than to tell her that she and Mommy get to go on their special walk EVERY DAY after supper? Or lunch? Or breakfast (you pick). This is so important to start kids out young (exercise as a family activity).

    And you know that you need to do the same with food choices. If in doubt, throw it out! That means all M&Ms, candies and nummies that are poison to you and your little one. If years from now she asks you why you didn't have them around, be honest with her. Tell her that you want to be there for her as she grows up and has a family of her own someday. Then you will be a fit, fabulous grandma to her little ones!

    This is all about adult choices. If I ate only what I was wanting to eat, I would eat a lot of junk food. But, I want to set a good example for my darling grandkids! I take them on "special walks" all the time. We also go to the park, playgrounds and pool. Yes, I teach them it is fun to do all those things with this 54 year old grandma! We eat a lot of fun fruits and veggies with dips. I try to serve something new every time they are here. I do not want them to survive on horrible diets of mac and cheese, hot dogs, chips and pizza. They get those at home sometimes, but they love "cooking" with me and helping make nutritious foods.

    Sorry this is long. Tough love. If you were my daughter, this is what you would hear.
  • seefrww
    seefrww Posts: 1 Member
    missmelis1976 wrote: »
    Hi All,
    I'm new to posting in here. I've used MYP off and on for a few years. Just recently I started back up counting my calories. I've gained 30 lbs in the past few months. Heaviest I've ever been. I'm 5'8 1/2" and as of this morning weigh 168.9. My goal is 143. I was roughly 143 - 4 years ago and felt great and was comfortable in my skin. I feel VERY sluggish and just awful these days. None of my clothes fit and I'm very upset with myself for getting this way so far.

    My problem? Several! I love, LOVE food. I'm a foodie big time. I have a hard time with moderation. For instance as I write this I have a share size of M&M's in my desk drawer at work. I KNOW the bag is full. It's a large bag. I will literally eat this bag within 1 day whereas other people it would take days to eat. I can't eat just one serving - 12 M&Ms.

    Another issue I have is my sweet tooth. It's over the top. Always has been. I could care less about salt. If I had my way I would eat sweets (99% of the time I'm talking about CHOCOLATE) all.day.long. I would skip breakfast, lunch and dinner and just eat chocolate. I love it so much. I'm talking good quality milk chocolate. I can deal with dark but dont care for it.

    My diet is terrible. I dislike fruits and most veggies. I do love proteins and carbs - of course. haha!

    I have a 3 year old, work full time and dont have time to get to a gym.

    We have a treadmill that is collecting dust in our basement.

    Please anyone! Give me advice/tip/advice on how to get out of this sluggish depression I am in. I want to lose this weight, feel alive and active and full of energy again.

    Thank you for reading.

  • jilliow
    jilliow Posts: 13 Member
    Meal prepping may be key for you until you can begin to add in exercise. Plan a menu for the week. Start reading labels and learning portion sizes then measure everything as you portion it out for meals and snacks. I second the suggestion to put some M&M’s in a snack sized ziplock, or add some to some seeds and nuts to create a trail mix. The seeds and nuts will add protein and help fill you up more than the chocolate. Plan a specific snack time instead of mindlessly snacking all day long. It may all seem like a chore at first, but it will soon become second nature.
    As for exercise, start small then work your way up. Park at the end of the parking lot each day. Take the stairs. On breaks walk or run up and down the stairs for 5 minutes. In your off time do fun but active things like bowling or bicycling. If you have to take your kids to practice then walk around the edge of the field/court/practice building while waiting on them.
  • Menda_H
    Menda_H Posts: 2 Member
    edited September 2018
    For me, meal planning is key! When I first started my health journey, nearly 4 years ago, MFP was definitely in one of the 6 steps helped me.

    Focusing on ways to improve your health journey and staying positive will be your best bets! You can do it!

    Good luck girl and fellow momma! :)
    [edited by MFP mods]
  • jmills3phone
    jmills3phone Posts: 1 Member
    edited September 2018
    amywizengamot wrote: »
    And @toughmuther has a good point about keto and sweets. I’m on a ketogenic diet for medical reasons, but boy oh boy did it edit my sugar craving genome. I used to literally fantasize about pancakes and maple syrup while I was running. I couldn’t be in the same room as a peanut butter cup without tearing into it. I’m just not the same anymore.

    The only thing that really ever helped me with weight loss was the ritual of logging my food into MFP. It kept me informed and honest and in control. Good luck to you, I think you’ll do very well!

    I can attest to being addicted to food. I gained 30lbs. from January to May, when I weighed in at my heaviest ever of 276lbs.

    Please understand that everyone is different! Those who say that this is a choice and you just have to be strong, are correct. However, in my experience it feels like I would have to have super powers to be strong enough to dig out of the hole I am in and to resist the food temptations I have had. I LOVE FOOD! Especially starchy and sugary foods, all of which get turned into sugars in our bodies.

    I have learned that my intense carb and sugar cravings are most likely due to candida. Candida overgrowth in your intestines can make you feel tired, irritable and give you a foggy head and poor concentration. It can also cause intense carbohydrate cravings (carbohydrate = sugar). It's a Catch 22 – eating sugar promotes the growth of intestinal yeast and having too much yeast in your gut makes you crave sugar. If you have intense sugar cravings as well as yeast type issues either female type or athletes foot or toenail fungus, or all of the above, candida could be the source of your cravings. An overgrowth of Candida can cause conditions like athlete's foot, ringworm and toenail fungus. Best way to kill off candida? Starve it = don't eat carbs/sugar

    For me, Keto has changed everything! On keto you restrict carbs to a crazy level, for me it is 25 grams of net carbs a day (you don't have to count fiber). This may seem insurmountable, look at the carbs/sugar in a single serving of those M&Ms (30 grams!). My experience has been, that after a few days of restricting carbs the cravings are gone! On keto you get the majority of your daily calories from fats and proteins. Eating this way does not leave me feeling hungry. I'm not starving + I don't have cravings = I AM A SUPER HERO or THIS IS A WAY OF EATING THAT WORKS FOR ME

    If you think keto may work for you checkout r/keto on reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/keto).
    [edited by mods]
  • ecrosby512
    ecrosby512 Posts: 55 Member
    I don’t know what keto is but I went cold turkey on sweets and it worked to get rid of the cravings. I don’t miss sweets! Which is crazy because I thought I had such acsweet tooth, and I, too, would binge on office candy, and ice cream after dinner.

    Quitting was a lot like quitting caffeine or alcohol. Felt gross for about two weeks, then gradually better and better. The trick is to get theough to the other side of the initial crabings/withdrawal.

    What helped?

    Begin on a weekend- so last sweet Thurs night, so you have days off to rest through initial tiredness.

    Sleep a lot at first.

    Exercise. (Like walk around the block instead of eating a Snickers, or jumping jacks to get up a pulse/get the energy boost I was looking for from sugar.)

    Drink a lot of water. Sometimes when I thought I needed a hit of sugar I was actually just wilting from dehydration- perked up like a plant when I watered myself.

    Tough couple of weeks but so worth it. No more ups followed by crashes. More constant energy. Better sleep. Better mood. Ymmv.
  • dhiammarath
    dhiammarath Posts: 834 Member
    I hope you find the right solution for yourself!

    When I first started, I really had a hard time giving up all the super sugary coffees and the sugar / milk in my coffee that was mainly sugar and milk. I also disliked 99% of vegetables, loved 99% of fruit, and despised anything with certain textures.

    I was SUPER PICKY about food. What worked for me was cutting out sugar for a few months. Well, conscious sugar. Not things that had sugar added hidden (like ketchup). It wasn't for cravings, necessarily, but because I really wanted to open up my food options. And someone made an analogy about how taste buds are like children. Just because they WANT something all the time, doesn't mean they NEED something all the time regardless of right or wrong, that statement resonated with me. I was downing all kinds of liquid calories: from sodas to coffees to juices. I drank 90% of my calories. After years of poor choices, I'd graduated to consume probably a good 1500-2000 extra calories in drinks a day on average (some more, some less). When I cut that back, sweet things became so much more potent to me and more of a treat. I also happen to really like peanut M&Ms. I still have 'em! Just less, now.

    I would experiment to find out what works for you. I still have desserts and sweet things (I just had a Luna S'Mores bar) and I love carbs. I treat food like money, in a lot of ways. Yes, sometimes I blow my budget on deliciousness that is mac'n'cheese or a double-decker PB&J. They don't last, satiation-wise, but it teaches me the value of the foods I choose. Sometimes, the food that is not so exciting is more valuable in terms of longevity that it makes it easier for me to budget for the foods I do enjoy. (Aka, delicious potatoes). So, yes, sometimes I absolutely want the super high calorie yumyums knowing that I will be hungry in the long desert that will exist between mealtimes. I reason a little hunger won't be detrimental (so long as I'm getting enough calories, etc) and/or it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Some days, I suck it up and go way over because it's worth it for me.

    After going through the sugar experiment and forcing myself to try new things (previously, I would never have let some foods into the mouth!), I have been able to stretch the foods I like to eat. Granted, I am by no means a foodie. I could be perfectly happy with a food pill (as long as I could still have potatoes and cheese). XD

    Find what works for you! Experiment! Find the fun in the experience of finding out what works for you. Instead of "I can't stop myself eating these M&Ms!", take ownership. Reframe your mental thoughts into ideas that return the control back to your own hands. "What can I do to ensure I only eat a serving?" "What changes can I make to see if X works for me?" "What's my plan on trying out Y?"

    I regret NOTHING of them cheesy potatoes I had yesterday. :smiley:

    Good luck!!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I actually had to get hypnosis to stop eating sugar. It worked.
    However the rest is on you. Get on the treadmill. Do some workout videos. You can exercise without going to a gym.
    No one's going to be able to say something that will make you do it. Do it or don't complain.
  • FinishWhatUStart
    FinishWhatUStart Posts: 9 Member
    A lot of great advice posted above. It’s stressful balancing work/home/children. When you’re faced with intense cravings for something sweet or just something to eat, try drinking carbonated, flavored (or unflavored) water. It may help you stay on track. I’ve tried plain water and even flavoring my water with lemons, oranges, mint, etc but the carbonation seems to trigger my body into feeling full. Hope you find what works for you.

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