When does motivation kick in?

jpearson1289

So, this has been and uphill battle most of my life (15 years at least). I find this motivation and go for it and do so well then it suddenly disappears. I went from 242 to 205 then sat around 212-215 for a long time then spiralled bbackup to 261 and then back down to 238 and now I'm at 241. it's been gone two years. I'm still trying and I still get little spurts of it, but the eat right go do something every day feeling is now a struggle, I feel useless... and I find myself giving up in the gym more than I should. I get the over whelming anxiety that I'm doing everything wrong and nothing will help. My fitness levels have gone down hill in the last year even though I'm working with a Trainor I can no longer jog a mile or do actual push ups (I get like 1/4 of the way down) and it's frustrating. I want this for myself. I want to feel better physically and mentally about me. Why can't I find that motivation in my soul and get it to stick around with out having a significant other who comments on my weight in negative ways (yes I'm single now) or a reason like fitting in a dress and not feeling like I ruined someone's wedding pictures because I was the 250lb bridesmaid.
My weight is negativity affecting my health and making my fibromyalgia worse.
Anyone else who is frustrated & has found ways to get past it and change into a positive state of mind when they are struggling for ling term success?

kommodevaran

Trust your own experience - don't wait around for motivation, it's just not reliable.

Machka9

It's not about motivation.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818701/the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead#latest

TavistockToad

It doesn't.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818701/the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead

Panini911

it doesn't. been there, done that. Figured i'd hit some magic wall and then suddenly be "motivated" to eat well. Never happened. I have been quite fat all my life (even as a child).

I've done this three times:
1 - the doctor sent me to a specialist (endoconologist) out of concern for my being very obese. With the specialist and her dietician (and some weight loss drugs) I lost over 100lbs. I needed the supervision and walk thru each step.

2 - put it ALL back on. Asked my family doc to see a dietitian and saw the one they had at their own clinic and she was terrible. awhile later my doctor recommended a weight lost clinic. I went there, worked again with a doctor and a dietician (no drugs) and lost it all. Again I needed the supervision/guidance (I was in like once every 4-6 weeks). this dietician was very good. This is where I learned and first started using MFP.

3 - put on like 40. Lost my dog and found myself looking for ways to pass the time after having had dogs for last 12 years. Threw myself into exercise (gym) and as soon as I started exercising, the eating followed. I didn't want to feel heavy for my workouts. So I pulled out MFP that day after my first workout and the rest is history. I switched from the gym to a running class. I've hit a routine with my eating and logging. and move a ton. Of course, my schedule will change once I find a dog, but I am looking at more active dogs now who can run with me (and do other active human+dog sports like skijore, canicross, bikejore).

The weight comes back on because I stop logging. and then portions very slowly but surely get larger. I know that to maintain this time I need to at least weigh and log foods regularly if not daily. and catch myself at a few pds gained when it is easy to fix not after 20+. But I am happy I stopped myself at 40 this time, I call that improvement. And the last 20 were due to some difficult times in my life (not that there is any excuse but, there it is).

funjen1972

You say you find the motivation then go for it. This is a marathon, not a sprint (or spurts as stated in your post) This is not a diet, it is a way of life. If you do this, you need to maintain for the rest of your life so make sustainable changes that work for you.

You're not going to find a pot of gold, golden unicorn or a dangling carrot anywhere else but inside yourself.

Is there anything else in your life you have maintained long-term success? Your career, a relationship, a hobby, perhaps? You can mimic your approach to find success here. Evaluate what makes you successful with those and apply the same priciples to long term weight loss.

LivingtheLeanDream

If I was counting on motivation I don't think I'd ever have had long term success! its fleeting! forming new habits and committing to do them regardless is what got me through.

cmriverside

Have you considered therapy? I mean, to me it sounds like your thought processes are pretty negative and that can take over if you don't rein it in.

There are lots of self-help books, too. Maybe download some podcasts and spend some time changing your thinking into a more positive direction. If I let my thoughts wander into the negative it can derail any good I have going on at the time.

A gratitude list is another good place to start.

There is a way out.

88olds

Another motivation skeptic here.

You know that saying about life having ups and downs? It’s true. But effective weight loss has to keep going through the down days. No one is going to be up all the time.

Weight loss is a skill set. Mostly about problem solving. It isn’t about your character. It certainly isn’t about your soul.

I didn’t decide that I loved my 285 lbs self, but I did decide I was entitled to basic human respect. We only get one life. How do you want yours to go? So long as your choices don’t infringe on others, you have a right to pursue your vision. You are a worthy cause.

My work has brought me into contact with some truly awful people. Some were thin and fit. Your weight is not a disqualifier when it comes to your worth as a person. Making weight loss about your character raises the ante in unhelpful ways.

But to get off the diet merry-go-round you have to get yourself off. No one can do it for you.

So start your food diary again. And this time you set your calories to lose 1 lb per week because this time you are going to learn patience. And this time you are going to be determined. So you keep your diary going no matter what, good, bad or ugly. Everything gets logged until you achieve your goals.

Now that you are going out in pursuit of a worthy cause, that being you, get ready to face a big weight loss irony. You will have to do battle with your own brain. Because our brains can’t stop functioning, at least we should hope not, they chatter nonstop. Because a lot of the chatter is habitual, you will have to push back a bunch of old negativity.

Try to keep an objective view. You are working on problem solving and building a skill set. Give yourself plenty of time with the calorie counting learning curve. It gets easier.

Sorry this is so long. You struck a nerve. Add me if you want. I’m a long time maintainer down 100+ lbs. Good luck.

Machka9

For me, it's actually more about habit.

I get up and brush my teeth every day. That's habit. Yeah, there's motivation because I'd like to keep my teeth in decent shape, but really, it's just one of the things I do.

I shower, dress, walk to the bus, go to work ... all habit. Of course, there's a bit of motivation. Work makes money. But there are days when I'd rather stay in my pjs all day and not go to work ... but I go anyway.

So eating a certain way is a habit thing. I eat this at 10:30 am, and that at 11:30 am, and lunch at 1:30 pm, etc.

Derpes

Sometimes motivation never kicks in.

"Don't let the way you feel control the way you act, let the way that you act control how you feel".

Millicent3015

jpearson1289 wrote: »

So, this has been and uphill battle most of my life (15 years at least). I find this motivation and go for it and do so well then it suddenly disappears. I went from 242 to 205 then sat around 212-215 for a long time then spiralled bbackup to 261 and then back down to 238 and now I'm at 241. it's been gone two years. I'm still trying and I still get little spurts of it, but the eat right go do something every day feeling is now a struggle, I feel useless... and I find myself giving up in the gym more than I should. I get the over whelming anxiety that I'm doing everything wrong and nothing will help. My fitness levels have gone down hill in the last year even though I'm working with a Trainor I can no longer jog a mile or do actual push ups (I get like 1/4 of the way down) and it's frustrating. I want this for myself. I want to feel better physically and mentally about me. Why can't I find that motivation in my soul and get it to stick around with out having a significant other who comments on my weight in negative ways (yes I'm single now) or a reason like fitting in a dress and not feeling like I ruined someone's wedding pictures because I was the 250lb bridesmaid.
My weight is negativity affecting my health and making my fibromyalgia worse.
Anyone else who is frustrated & has found ways to get past it and change into a positive state of mind when they are struggling for ling term success?

I struggled a lot at first. I told myself what I couldn't have and then wanted them even more, and then I'd binge on them. Now I allow myself anything I want, and log it all. When I gave myself permission to have any foods I wanted, my cravings and bingeing went right down. I found, to my surprise, I preferred more nutritious food. What I discovered, is the harder I made this lifestyle change, the less it changed. I had to relax and not stress about what I was eating, and instead concentrate on eating at a calorie deficit. I do exercise sometimes, but if I'm not feeling it I won't stress about it.

It seems to me your mindset is the biggest issue here. You're struggling unnecessarily because you have this idea that you must eat 'right' and do some structured exercise. If you don't want to do that, find exercises you enjoy that don't have to be structured, that you don't have to do at a set time. You can eat what you want as long as it's inside your calorie totals. If you don't want to cook all the time, there are healthy ready meals, protein shakes, healthier sandwiches, bespoke boxes like Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and Slimming World products at the supermarket, and most major supermarkets do their own healthy ranges as well.

There's no point being down on yourself. Being overweight isn't a moral failing. Some people get fat, some people don't. Losing weight and maintaining that loss has nothing to do with who you are as a person. You're not a bad person or a failure if you find weight issues a struggle. You're just a human doing the best you can each day. A little therapy might help you to raise your self esteem to the point you can begin to make changes to your eating.

Try not to make it too complicated, and stop berating yourself for struggling to have a different lifestyle or not having this magical 'motivation' that you think you're supposed to have some inexhaustible supply of. None of us has that. Weight loss, health, lifestyle change, is more about making different choices each and every day. Being too hard on yourself will only make the process harder than it needs to be. Be kind to yourself, and make small changes you can sustain over a long time.

jpearson1289

Thank you for all your insight, I appreciate the time you guys took to answer my question.
"Anyone else who is frustrated & has found ways to get past it and change into a positive state of mind when they are struggling for long term success?"

girlwithcurls2

A little success is motivating, but you can also find yourself using success as an excuse (I lost xx pounds, I can have this treat.) Instead of trying to find motivation, I tried to set myself up for new habits. I am NEVER motivated to work out before work when the alarm goes off, so I work out in the evenings. However, after working all day, I am often not motivated to work out then either. BUT! Here's the part that works- "It's just what I do." It's non-negotiable. I just go. Same as flossing, grocery shopping and laundry, all the other things I am rarely motivated to do. But we do them. Before I realized it, I found myself driving to the pool on autopilot. And more often than not, once I get started working out, I'm motivated to give it my best because I'm there. It's been four years. I'm still not always motivated (and the days are getting darker earlier, and the rain is coming), but I'll keep going because it's what I do.

dlynne1024

Thanks for posting this! I,too, am struggling - I am stuck. I am having a difficult time consistently staying within my calorie goal. Thanks to all of you that shared your processes. I have been diligent with tracking my food with MFP. Signed up for a twice a week aerobics class to help increase my calorie deficit. Now I just have to be patient 😊. And everyday, DECIDE to stay within my calorie goal!!! Stop with the exceptions!

joone_9

I too struggle with this right now and it seems that I just am being stubborn with myself by saying that now is the time I said enough is enough and simply just make myself stick within my calorie goal everyday. I also keep telling myself just get through today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I’m also making a schedule to workout and as some other have wrote above..just make myself do it..sorta how I just make my kids go to their hockey practice or to swimming..just go because you signed up. Feel free to add me as a friend!

appalachian_gigi

I have no idea, but I totally get what you mean. I’m in the same boat. I’ve been stuck at this weight and I know what I need to do but the morning rolls in and nothing changes...

Evelyn_Gorfram

Mostly, I decide to be motivated and then I make myself act that way. But there are some further/finer points -

When I log what I eat, I lose weight (or maintain, if that's what I'm trying to do). When I don't log what I eat, I gain weight (or sometimes maintain, if I'm already at a high weight). That's the way it seems to work for me.

There are things that I do deliberately for motivation. Reading other's success stories on MFP, reveling in my own small successes so far, projecting my future weight loss (I could be a Size what by Christmas?), browsing online for cute clothes available in my by-Christmas size but not my present one, etc.

Goal-setting exercises help me too. What do I hope to achieve by losing weight, how will I know when I have achieved those things, what is standing in my way, how can I remove those obstacles, etc.

There's a thing somewhere in Shakespeare about "screwing your courage to the sticking place." Sometimes I have to screw my motivation to the sticking place, too.

sarahlucindac

Discipline > Motivation.