3 years of 'maintenance' later...

Francl27

I took 2 years to lose 88 lbs. It really wasn't hard at all.

Now I'm 3 years later, and I gained back 27 lbs from my lowest (I'm 10 over the 'overweight' limit now)... and I'm actually much happier. I'm not stressing out having anxiety over going out of meeting my friends anymore. I'm not devastated every time I have PMS and end up eating 400 calories over for 10 days because I just feel sick if I don't eat (this is what made me gain that weight back, by the way).

I've learned that I can eat WAY more than I think without gaining too much (seriously, looking at my diary... I should probably have gained back twice that). I've learned that as long as I keep being active, it will be fine (I'd be back at 213 lbs if I stopped).

Unfortunately, I've also learned that it's extremely hard to get back into it. I'm not hungry much at all the week after my period, and can keep a 500 deficit easily, but then the next 2 weeks are a nightmare because I'm so hungry, then I get my period and I'm bleeding so much and in so much pain from cramps and bloating (or dizzy from anemia) that I end up not being able to workout for a few days...

But I had to let go, or I would be completely depressed again. I don't really like those extra pounds, but my sanity is probably more important at this point. Still trying to find ways to make things better, but no luck so far. I really didn't have those issues 3 years ago.

Has anyone been through the same thing and decided that being a bit overweight was a better alternative than driving yourself nuts over your lifestyle?

CharlieBeansmomTracey

Francl27 wrote: »

I took 2 years to lose 88 lbs. It really wasn't hard at all.

Now I'm 3 years later, and I gained back 27 lbs from my lowest (I'm 10 over the 'overweight' limit now)... and I'm actually much happier. I'm not stressing out having anxiety over going out of meeting my friends anymore. I'm not devastated every time I have PMS and end up eating 400 calories over for 10 days because I just feel sick if I don't eat (this is what made me gain that weight back, by the way).

I've learned that I can eat WAY more than I think without gaining too much (seriously, looking at my diary... I should probably have gained back twice that). I've learned that as long as I keep being active, it will be fine (I'd be back at 213 lbs if I stopped).

Unfortunately, I've also learned that it's extremely hard to get back into it. I'm not hungry much at all the week after my period, and can keep a 500 deficit easily, but then the next 2 weeks are a nightmare because I'm so hungry, then I get my period and I'm bleeding so much and in so much pain from cramps and bloating (or dizzy from anemia) that I end up not being able to workout for a few days...

But I had to let go, or I would be completely depressed again. I don't really like those extra pounds, but my sanity is probably more important at this point. Still trying to find ways to make things better, but no luck so far. I really didn't have those issues 3 years ago.

Has anyone been through the same thing and decided that being a bit overweight was a better alternative than driving yourself nuts over your lifestyle?

yep no matter how big my deficit was I had stopped losing weight. even doing diet breaks off an on didnt help. I was getting hungrier and hungrier. I took a diet break of 2 months and still it would take me 4 months just to lose a lb. all blood work is normal and has been. I dont know why it got extremely slow I still have 40+ lbs to lose. I am still the same size though. I was at a point I had lost 45 lbs.(I was 163 at the time and not my lowerst healthiest weight of 140+) I have gained back about 15 lbs or so in the last year and a half.

I just about ready to give up and basically said to heck with a deficit( I was getting tired and not wanting to work out). and I am eating in maintenance and doing a recomp. Im losing fat just my weight doesnt budge much. it also doesnt fluctuate often either which I think is weird but maybe its me? so the last 4 months or so I just figured Im going to keep going this route and see what happens by late winter/early spring. maybe then I will try to lose again but Im not sure. Its like my body doesnt like deficits.

since I have done this I have had more energy, I an exercise more and my pain is less than it was working out in a deficit. I was sore all the time and for days on end even if I didnt overdo the exercise. now with more food I find Im barely sore at all and I can now do my lifting 3-4 days a week and still be able to walk and sit down and other things without my muscles hurting.

cmriverside

Have you had a gynecologist check you out? Heavy bleeding isn't a good thing and isn't normal, especially if it's so bad that it causes anemia.

You don't have to live that way, ya know?

I know that isn't your point, but that really leaps out at me.

I'm one of those who should be 70 pounds heavier if I go by the actual amount of food I've eaten over the past three years. It's pretty astonishing. I'm still in maintenance, though. I agree for me it's mostly about making it a point of staying active. (And not eating mindlessly in front of the TV or at the computer.)

SummerSkier

It's a slippery slope. I think you are not happy with your weight but you need to figure out the health issues first before taking action. Even if you say you accept being overweight you "really don't like" those extra pounds. My guess is that you will continue to gain until you end up where you were because the next step on this journey is that your knees or something else aches (from the extra 27 pounds) and then you stop being so active. And it may not be overnight but give it another year. We can talk ourselves into anything. It's of course a personal decision where you maintain but I say "get back on the wagon".

33gail33

Francl27 wrote: »

Unfortunately, I've also learned that it's extremely hard to get back into it. I'm not hungry much at all the week after my period, and can keep a 500 deficit easily, but then the next 2 weeks are a nightmare because I'm so hungry, then I get my period and I'm bleeding so much and in so much pain from cramps and bloating (or dizzy from anemia) that I end up not being able to workout for a few days...

Cyklokapron. (I was at the end of my rope during perimenopause and it gave me my life back.)

Francl27

cmriverside wrote: »

Have you had a gynecologist check you out? Heavy bleeding isn't a good thing and isn't normal, especially if it's so bad that it causes anemia.

You don't have to live that way, ya know?

I know that isn't your point, but that really leaps out at me.

I'm one of those who should be 70 pounds heavier if I go by the actual amount of food I've eaten over the past three years. It's pretty astonishing. I'm still in maintenance, though. I agree for me it's mostly about making it a point of staying active. (And not eating mindlessly in front of the TV or at the computer.)

I went yesterday. We're trying the Mirena next (but I'm going on vacations in 6 weeks and don't want to ruin my vacations with bleeding so will have to wait until December). He really couldn't offer much to help with bloating and hunger though

SummerSkier wrote: »

It's a slippery slope. I think you are not happy with your weight but you need to figure out the health issues first before taking action. Even if you say you accept being overweight you "really don't like" those extra pounds. My guess is that you will continue to gain until you end up where you were because the next step on this journey is that your knees or something else aches (from the extra 27 pounds) and then you stop being so active. And it may not be overnight but give it another year. We can talk ourselves into anything. It's of course a personal decision where you maintain but I say "get back on the wagon".

Well, when I was 213 lbs, I didn't walk 10,000 steps a day either. Now my average is 12,000. It makes a huge difference.

I've been trying to get the random unnecessary eating under control (let's just say that my social life was non existent 3 years ago, and now that I have one, it's also made things harder because I don't want to be that person who won't eat what my friends are making because it's too high calories). The problem is what I can't control, and PMS hunger can just be insane (and it started when I was 2 lbs from my goal weight. I was hoping it would go away if I gained back a bit, but so far, no luck).

spiriteagle99

One thing to think about is what you eat when you're PMSing. It doesn't have to be high calorie. Try eating more protein, more veggies, more fruit.

You may also want to increase your activity level by starting something new. Get a bike. Join a hiking group. Learn dance.

Several years ago, I lost a lot of weight when I was depressed. Later I gained back 8 pounds and figured that it was my sustainable weight, as opposed to my extreme weight. I stayed there for a couple of years, but then I ramped up my running (from 25 mpw to 40) and the weight came off again. I've stayed under 125 for about 2 years now. As long as I keep up my running, I'm stable.

middlehaitch

I've never been through what you have been through/are going through, but I am well aware of the pain and struggles you have been going through trying to maintain from you posts.

I think you are making a reasonable choice. You upped your typical health marker by losing weight initially, but it caused pain and frustration.
It now sounds like you have regained enough to make your weight both mentally and physically sustainable.

I applaude you and @charliebeansmomtracey for the hard work you have done in accepting (to a certain degree) that your weight may not be the weight you want to be, but it is the weight that is working for your health at this point in time.

Just an aside.
I think people, in general, can sometimes set themselves an unrealistic goal not realizing that the calories needed to maintain that weight is unsustainable and can be less than healthy, especially for their mental wellbeing.

Cheers, h.

psychod787

Francl27 wrote: »

I took 2 years to lose 88 lbs. It really wasn't hard at all.

Now I'm 3 years later, and I gained back 27 lbs from my lowest (I'm 10 over the 'overweight' limit now)... and I'm actually much happier. I'm not stressing out having anxiety over going out of meeting my friends anymore. I'm not devastated every time I have PMS and end up eating 400 calories over for 10 days because I just feel sick if I don't eat (this is what made me gain that weight back, by the way).

I've learned that I can eat WAY more than I think without gaining too much (seriously, looking at my diary... I should probably have gained back twice that). I've learned that as long as I keep being active, it will be fine (I'd be back at 213 lbs if I stopped).

Unfortunately, I've also learned that it's extremely hard to get back into it. I'm not hungry much at all the week after my period, and can keep a 500 deficit easily, but then the next 2 weeks are a nightmare because I'm so hungry, then I get my period and I'm bleeding so much and in so much pain from cramps and bloating (or dizzy from anemia) that I end up not being able to workout for a few days...

But I had to let go, or I would be completely depressed again. I don't really like those extra pounds, but my sanity is probably more important at this point. Still trying to find ways to make things better, but no luck so far. I really didn't have those issues 3 years ago.

Has anyone been through the same thing and decided that being a bit overweight was a better alternative than driving yourself nuts over your lifestyle?

While a man, i am in the medical field, so I have seen people with the menstruation issues you are having. I can't relate to it, but moves wife uses to have some of the issues you listed. She was very heavy as well. I hope you get your hormones on check. I know that after my weight loss, my test tanked. I am now going to have to have injections. I am a little emotional some days and a little cranky. I am hoping that these injections will stop that. Best of luck!

solieco1

Mirena is life changing. Be patient with it. Takes 3ish months to settle down. it's 100% worth the patience!

Lillymoo01

As far as heavy periods go .... bring on menopause is all I can say!

I really don't see an issue with accepting a weight that is heavier than the ideal if it works better for your mental/social health. Some underestimate the impact our mental health has on our overall health and well being and I believe overall, we are healthier a little overweight and happy than at a healthy weight and miserable.

My biggest concern is what you are going to do to maintain the weight that you are rather than continue to gain. If that means eating under maintenance for 2 weeks and eating over for 2 weeks then go for it. It all balances out. If it means upping your exercise a little without upping your food intake to allow for eating out with friends then go for it.

Good luck with getting your periods under control. That truly could be a game changer for both your physical and mental health.

CharlieBeansmomTracey

middlehaitch wrote: »

I've never been through what you have been through/are going through, but I am well aware of the pain and struggles you have been going through trying to maintain from you posts.

I think you are making a reasonable choice. You upped your typical health marker by losing weight initially, but it caused pain and frustration.
It now sounds like you have regained enough to make your weight both mentally and physically sustainable.

I applaude you and @charliebeansmomtracey for the hard work you have done in accepting (to a certain degree) that your weight may not be the weight you want to be, but it is the weight that is working for your health at this point in time.

Just an aside.
I think people, in general, can sometimes set themselves an unrealistic goal not realizing that the calories needed to maintain that weight is unsustainable and can be less than healthy, especially for their mental wellbeing.

Cheers, h.

thanks I am considered overweight but I dont look overweight although I am bottom heavy lol. I am maintaining on like 1900 calories or a little above on average.I am also working on changing how my body looks and so far for me its working. I figure I have 5-6 months to keep doing what Im doing and then go from there. That should be plenty of time for a break and to see where I need to go next. my goal to lose of course wasnt unrealistic for me as thats what I weighed most of my adult life. I had never been overweight or obese prior to that. but I am feeling good at the weight I am at for now.

Nony_Mouse

For TOM-related fluid retention, keep an eye on your sodium intake. Women are more sensitive to sodium in their late luteal phase, so you may want to experiment with dropping sodium below your usual level.

kommodevaran

I think getting the bleeding under control and the anemia fixed, will help a lot. As I see it, you're practically starved on iron, maybe other nutrients too, which could be why you feel starving even on a higher weight that you're comfortable with.

LivingtheLeanDream

It sounds like you have found a way to deal with your hunger even if you have resigned yourself to being heavier - you sound more content about your weight and that's a positive thing.

As others say, if your TOM was kept under control with meds then lets hope in a few months time you will come back and update us on the situation. It would be great if your hunger levels would become more normal.. I hope that old saying 'this too shall pass' will apply to you in the near future.

Ruth

nowine4me

Sometimes our achievable weight is not the same as our maintainable weight.

psychod787

huggs

mountainmare

I'm on those last few pounds before trying maintenance and I looked carefully at a "goal weight" at my age and height to maintain at the top of healthy with the exercise (at my age and height) I would be looking at 1350 cal per day.
Following the mantra of "is this a sustainable lifestyle" I saw that it is not, so I have picked my goal weight based on a calorie goal that I can be happy with. It is ten pounds over weight. If the estimates are wrong and I lose, that would be nice but if this is going to be for the next 10-15 years I want to enjoy life (and wine---and pizza).To the OP--I hope you are happy and do not drive yourself nuts, trust me, life is too short.

ALG775

I think it's important to find the weight that you can live with that allows you to truly enjoy your life (i.e, exercise comfortably, eat enough food etc).

Who cares if it is 23 BMI or 27 BMI. Some people can get to a bmi of 23 and stay there fairly easily. Others find it requires a tremendous amount of work.

My goal weight still has me in the overweight BMI range- but it works well for me.

Good luck to all of us!

jrwms714

I will go on a BMI rant here ... as I have in several posts. BMI does not take into account many things like gender and age.(Did you know that the BMI was introduced in 1832?) My BMI, if I believed in it, has me at 27, which is overweight. I find that difficult to believe when I wear a size 4 or 6 Petite. It does not take into account muscle weight, and I am very muscular from my butt through my legs. And am more so now that I workout 5 days a week. I have been in maintenance for 3 years and at a higher weight than my goal was, but it is at a caloric count that I can deal with, and I look and feel great. Even my internist says to ignore the BMI because it is rarely accurate. He says professional athletes would be considered in the overweight or obese range. Better to go by weight circumference (for both genders), or use the Smart BMI calculator. According to that, I am not overweight and right where I need to be. I know this is a controversial thing to say, but it works for me. Here's some interesting things that I have found:
https://www.smartbmicalculator.com
https://www.businessinsider.com/bmi-is-bogus-best-way-to-tell-if-youre-a-healthy-weight-2016-9

Francl27

jrwms714 wrote: »

I will go on a BMI rant here ... as I have in several posts. BMI does not take into account many things like gender and age.(Did you know that the BMI was introduced in 1832?) My BMI, if I believed in it, has me at 27, which is overweight. I find that difficult to believe when I wear a size 4 or 6 Petite. It does not take into account muscle weight, and I am very muscular from my butt through my legs. And am more so now that I workout 5 days a week. I have been in maintenance for 3 years and at a higher weight than my goal was, but it is at a caloric count that I can deal with, and I look and feel great. Even my internist says to ignore the BMI because it is rarely accurate. He says professional athletes would be considered in the overweight or obese range. Better to go by weight circumference (for both genders), or use the Smart BMI calculator. According to that, I am not overweight and right where I need to be. I know this is a controversial thing to say, but it works for me. Here's some interesting things that I have found:
https://www.smartbmicalculator.com
https://www.businessinsider.com/bmi-is-bogus-best-way-to-tell-if-youre-a-healthy-weight-2016-9

Yes that's true too, but I definitely have a bit too much fat, lol.

mtaratoot

jrwms714 wrote: »

I will go on a BMI rant here ... as I have in several posts. BMI does not take into account many things like gender and age.(Did you know that the BMI was introduced in 1832?) My BMI, if I believed in it, has me at 27, which is overweight. I find that difficult to believe when I wear a size 4 or 6 Petite. It does not take into account muscle weight, and I am very muscular from my butt through my legs. And am more so now that I workout 5 days a week. I have been in maintenance for 3 years and at a higher weight than my goal was, but it is at a caloric count that I can deal with, and I look and feel great. Even my internist says to ignore the BMI because it is rarely accurate. He says professional athletes would be considered in the overweight or obese range. Better to go by weight circumference (for both genders), or use the Smart BMI calculator. According to that, I am not overweight and right where I need to be. I know this is a controversial thing to say, but it works for me. Here's some interesting things that I have found:
https://www.smartbmicalculator.com
https://www.businessinsider.com/bmi-is-bogus-best-way-to-tell-if-youre-a-healthy-weight-2016-9

If the smart BMI calculator is valid, my current weight is actually "optimal" for my age. I'm not completely convinced yet, but it's an interesting piece of data. I have been wondering if maybe I set my goal weight range a little too low. I'm sure not in my 20s or 30s anymore. Or 40s, but who's asking?

I think for now I'll still strive to get back to the goal range and sustain it. If I end up sustaining my current weight into perpetuity, that will still be better than where I started and FAR better than where I was headed!

try2again

[quote="Lillymoo01;c-42610808"

My biggest concern is what you are going to do to maintain the weight that you are rather than continue to gain. If that means eating under maintenance for 2 weeks and eating over for 2 weeks then go for it. It all balances out. If it means upping your exercise a little without upping your food intake to allow for eating out with friends then go for it.
[/quote]

This was my thought. I am a huge fan of reasonable, sustainable goals, even if they don't line up with some chart or others' opinions. But have you actually stopped the weight gain at this point? What's been the trend for the last several months?

Like you, OP, I dropped 80 lbs in several chunks over 5-6 years. I would have been thrilled to maintain at my lowest, even though that was still 20 lbs over a healthy BMI for me. All my health markers had seen huge improvements and I had become much more active. But also like you, I've regained about 30 lbs over the last couple of years. Mine's mostly due to depression- I just go through long spells when I can't bring myself to care about my choices. I've never felt particularly deprived at either my deficit or my maintenance calories- I just eat for distraction from how I'm feeling. But there is also the issue that I wasn't quite being honest with myself about being in "maintenance". A 10 lb gain in a year wasn't maintenance, and that lack of diligence over time led to the 30 lbs.

So sure, if you are happy and healthy where you are at, go for it! But stay diligent, and don't just let this plan become an excuse that leaves you another 10 lbs heavier in a year or two.

Francl27

try2again wrote: »

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

My biggest concern is what you are going to do to maintain the weight that you are rather than continue to gain. If that means eating under maintenance for 2 weeks and eating over for 2 weeks then go for it. It all balances out. If it means upping your exercise a little without upping your food intake to allow for eating out with friends then go for it.

This was my thought. I am a huge fan of reasonable, sustainable goals, even if they don't line up with some chart or others' opinions. But have you actually stopped the weight gain at this point? What's been the trend for the last several months?

Like you, OP, I dropped 80 lbs in several chunks over 5-6 years. I would have been thrilled to maintain at my lowest, even though that was still 20 lbs over a healthy BMI for me. All my health markers had seen huge improvements and I had become much more active. But also like you, I've regained about 30 lbs over the last couple of years. Mine's mostly due to depression- I just go through long spells when I can't bring myself to care about my choices. I've never felt particularly deprived at either my deficit or my maintenance calories- I just eat for distraction from how I'm feeling. But there is also the issue that I wasn't quite being honest with myself about being in "maintenance". A 10 lb gain in a year wasn't maintenance, and that lack of diligence over time led to the 30 lbs.

So sure, if you are happy and healthy where you are at, go for it! But stay diligent, and don't just let this plan become an excuse that leaves you another 10 lbs heavier in a year or two.

I gained 10 lbs back in the last year. I'm trying as hard as possible to stay diligent and limit the damage though! (being honest? By looking at my numbers I should have gained 30 back! Fitbit definitely underestimates my calories by a lot).

Sometimes I wonder if it's not part of the problem too - when I'm trying to stay on track with a 250 deficit, I end up starving after a few days... could be that my deficit is just too high because my TDEE is higher than I think. It's a vicious cycle...

My health markets got WORSE after I lost the weight here.

ahoy_m8

OP, I really hope the Mirena is a game changer for you. The physical symptoms you describe, especially anemia/fainting and bloating/pain, would make me feel a little depressed on top of it all. If there is a way to get those hormones balanced so that you feel better physically, you might feel enormously better emotionally, socially, etc as well. That is my hope for you, anyway. As others have said, no one should have to live with those conditions on an ongoing basis. That you have managed so well despite them commends your efforts. It seems fair to reevaluate the optimal weight for you, all things considered, once you know how well the Mirena gets the job done. Give it enough time to really assess it's effectiveness. I truly hope for the best on that front. And enjoy your vacation, too!