Fall down but get back up swinging

MissShelbyNicholle

Hi ya'll!👋🏻 I'm Shelby and I'm 30 years old. I always thought I would get my life together before I hit 30, but as my 31st birthday approaches I realize I'm still in the same spot. I have lost and gained the same weight over and over again, losing 125 pounds, gaining 75 back, losing 101, gaining 50. It's as if I reach a small goal and then I give up. I lose sight of the bigger picture and worse, I self sabotage. I don't want to just lose weight. I want to be healthy. That doesn't just involve being physically fit. Mentally and emotionally I need to be healthy as well. I have been through a lot lately. But the worst part is I stopped loving myself. They say we are our own harshest critic, and let me tell you, I definitely am. In my mind nothing I ever do is good enough. Most people would love the accomplishment of losing 125 pounds, but to me it wasn't enough. I hate that I have allowed myself to be so hard on myself. But worse is that I have lost sight of the amazing person that I know I am. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. But, it doesn't define me as a person.

I am restarting my life. I am focused on becoming the healthiest person I can possibly be. I am setting small goals as well as big ones. Ultimately I have a lot to lose, but I have so much to gain as well.

So I look to you all for support, motivation and inspiration. Feel free to add me.

DWBalboa

Hello Mrs. Shelby,
So you sound like you have all the answers already, you just have to make some adjustments. You already identified the main problem that you don't appreciate or "love" yourself enough. I'm sure that you know the old saying, "nobody can love you if you don't first love yourself." But that is not so easy to fix, I did it by learning to let go of certain things that were issues for me, and excepting that I couldn't do everything myself.
I am absolutely amazed that you were able to lose that much weight, that is just astonishing! Good for you. The fact that you put some of it back on is not so bad, it happens. The fact that you obviously did not quit and you took some of it back off is great.
Sounds like you may just need to find a sustainable lifestyle, perhaps what you are doing works but it's just not sustainable for the long term. Or it could be that you need to adjust what you are doing. There are so many possibilities, it can be daunting.
If you haven't already done so I would consult a DR, a Nutritionist, and a professional Trainer. Discuss your past experiences with them and they can purpose a plan that will include a proper diet and a proper workout regiment.
The main thing is that you never give up. As the old saying goes, "it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down, what matters is how many times you get back up."
You've got this!