Attitude Adjustments! (please share YOURS)

proudseal

I get stuck sometimes -- "it shouldn't be this hard", "this is not fair", "I cannot sustain this level of suffering", blah blah blah. I know I have to change my attitude but I think it would help to hear from other people who've actually done it.

Can you guys who have lost weight please share some of your mental game? What are some bad attitudes you had to overcome? How did you change your thinking, or what do you tell yourself that helps you lose weight?

AustinRuadhain

What a fun question!
"It's not fair!" "It shouldn't be this hard!" "This must be easier for everyone else!" "It's not working! I have been on a diet for 2 days already, I should be done!"
I am in process, not there (50 pounds lost, just 75 to go!), but for what it's worth, I sometimes make fun of those thoughts. "It's not fairrrrr!" is me saying the same thing about something I don't like as when I was about 2. "Why can't this go faster?" is, underneath, me whining about the trip the same way I did on family trips when I was 5 -- "Are we there yet? Waaah!" If you say some of these things out loud (by yourself, not in public) and stamp your foot, etc., you can really get how funny it is.
So I notice I am running the tape (saying something I have been saying for years), poke fun at myself, and then get back to work.

IHaveMyActTogether

I used to check my weight multiple times a day, looking for when it would "work."

And I'd do SO MUCH and not much results.

Wash, rince, repeat.

But then, I refused to quit. That was the attitude adjustment that was different THIS time.

I just kept going, despite not seeing results. Despite the scale staying the same.

And I lost 50lbs, but it looks like a lot more because I lift very heavy and built quite a bit of muscle.

If it's too hard, don't quit, make it easier. If it's too fast, don't quit, slow down. Whatever it is, just don't quit.

If your diet isn't working, try some other way, but don't quit.

The results come EVENTUALLY. But not if you quit and start and quit and start over and quit.

I will tell you one thing: it gets EASIER. The power of habit kicks in and you are automatically doing the things you need to do to lose weight. Just as I used to mindlessly order the same number on the drive-thru menu is the same way I now mindlessly get ready to go to the gym. And when that happens - when you automatically reach for the healthier option or automatically portion a smaller amount, or automatically start getting in your exercise, that is where the results start showing.

It gets easier the longer you do it. So don't quit.

PAFC84

Concentrate on what you're doing and your journey, don't start comparing yourself to everyone/anyone else.

I'm in this position because of the choices I've made. I have control over the choices I make so I can make better choices if I really want to.

Accept the reality of the situation-that isn't the same as liking it but it equates to living in reality as opposed to lying to oneself or creating a fantasy.

Patience-things rarely happen as quickly as we'd like so it is important to be patient when things aren't going to the timescale we'd like.

Patience is linked to acceptance/realism but also being kind to oneself. Try to replace the negative self talk.

These attitude adjustments apply to all walks of life not just weight.

GOT_Obsessed

intrigame23

Had to stop comparing myself to others -- had to check myself. Stupid me would compare myself to the more fit people at the gym, thinking they were there because they wanted to show off how skinny and fit they are. And I'd get jealous and stop going.

Who am I to even worry about why someone else is at the gym, why they're eating certain things, why they look a certain way, when I haven't handled my OWN business?? For all I know, a year ago they could have been 100 lbs heavier, and were able to put in the work that I clearly haven't done yet!

I've learned to do me and to be happy with ANY progress. I've learned to stop making excuses and do the work. I used to be upset when I didn't lose the 2lbs I was supposed to... I can now be happy if I lost .5lbs. It's still a loss and I'm not stopping.

Motivation is a tricky thing. I've learned to stop relying on it. Motivation gets you started, discipline and developing good habits keep you going. Motivation doesn't get me out of bed to workout on a cold, dark morning. Discipline does!

sarahjanes25

Personally- I think if it’s hard, your doing something wrong.
I’ve spent about 15 years doing a diet that was hard, restricting and would leave me giving up. I always wanted quick results. I wanted to be thin yesterday. It was all or nothing for me.
This time round it’s different. I’m not on a diet so I can’t fall off. This time I told myself, there is no time limit. There is no end goal. I’m just going to eat a little bit better and exercise and if in a years time I’ve maintained and not gained then that is success.
I also used to think oh I won’t exercise today- one day won’t make a difference. But this time I’ve told myself -
Every day counts.
It’s not about perfect, it’s about effort. And when that effort is implemented every single day, great things will happen.
I’ve changed my attitude now for a year and I’ve lost 42 pound. It hasn’t been hard. I still have all the things I want, Chinese food, chocolate, crisps but I have them in moderation as part of a balanced diet. In the beginning I was exercising to lose weight now I do it because I enjoy it.
Be kind to yourself. You can do anything you want

maureenkhilde

Ah so you woke up one morning and you were overweight, fat, chunky, plump, maybe obese. OH MY! Poor sad you!! Well Doll get in line and face the music, no going to sleep tonight and waking up tomorrow morning and seeing the new you!

If it is so hard every single day, make it easier!
You need to find a lifestyle diet you can follow that does not make you feel deprived every single day.
So have you gone into the MFP and set up some goals like how tall you are, how much you weigh now, what your goal is? Oh it does not have to be your true BMI goal it can be one you think you would like for maybe round 1. (hint) that is what I have, and when I reach or am close I will change it, and make it less. But as I started knowing I want to ultimately lose more than 125 pounds I set first goal at 110 pounds down.

Maybe at first you work more on food part, then add exercise, maybe do not add exercise at all. It is your call. Not anyone else in the world. Stop comparing yourself to anyone you see anywhere.

If you have a food scale use it every day for everything. If you do not have one, I really suggest reading the posts about them, and get yourself a good one.

Be consistent about logging everything you eat, oh and that also means count the oils, salad dressings and anything else you use to prepare your food.


It really is not that hard, once you tell yourself I am going to do this. And then do it.

njitaliana

It used to be hard like that for me because I was trying to eat perfectly. I didn't deviate. I found all that did was make me binge. Now I'm eating what I want. I don't go over 1600 calories. But, if I want sweet potato fries, I eat them. But, I eat them with a protein such as steak or chicken. If I want a burger on a roll, I have it. I eat it with a salad. If I want crackers and dip, I have it, but only the amount that fits into my calories. If I have the burger on the roll and the fries at the same time, it's too calorie heavy. So, I fit it into my calories by skipping one or the other. If I ever feel deprived, tho, I will eat them both. So far, I haven't felt deprived and I have 27 lbs off.

Yesterday, I had a muffin and yogurt for breakfast, a BBQ beef sandwich for lunch with some cheddar crisps (like a cracker made of cheese), shrimp on a bed of salad for dinner, and crackers with guacamole for evening snack. I plan to have a Taco Bell burrito bowl at some point this weekend. I actually am enjoying eating more now than I did when I was eating so badly and gaining.

I realize I need to make this doable for the rest of my life, so that's what I'm doing.

starkspot

I’ll keep it simple:
1.5 years ago at 51 years old, 376lbs, got some test results back - high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and staring down the barrel of type 2 diabetes. I had to make a decision: get busy living, or get busy dying. I’ve lost 105lbs to date, hit a few plateaus in that time, and when I feel discouraged, I tell myself, “get busy living, or get busy dying. I’m not going back.” It had to be that black or white for me to do something about it. Life or death.

steveko89

The big mindset change for me was buying into the philosophy of manipulating my diet for fat loss and exercising for enjoyment, health and aesthetics. It was liberating as I’m not a cardio person, I like weights, and I no longer felt like I had to do as much cardio which I dreaded. This also meant making sure my logging was on point; no more guessing, no more skipping days, no more “close enough”. Granted, I’m just dealing with vanity weight and trying to look as best I can, but I’ve been more successful since hyper-vigilant about my data than ever.

Sometimes, to talk myself out of a negative choice, be it eating something that would put me over on calories or skip a workout I’ll ask myself something to the effect of “does this choice get me closer to the way I ultimately want to look?” And that usually makes the right choice for me.

rcreynol3090

Coronary artery disease and a double bypass at age 59. Overweight all my aduit life. I realized that I needed to take a hard look at my lifestyle, and change or wait to die too early. Fifteen months later, and 85 pounds lighter, I feel much better, and every day am glad of the changes I've made.

proudseal

AustinRuadhain wrote: »

What a fun question!
"It's not fair!" "It shouldn't be this hard!" "This must be easier for everyone else!" "It's not working! I have been on a diet for 2 days already, I should be done!"
I am in process, not there (50 pounds lost, just 75 to go!), but for what it's worth, I sometimes make fun of those thoughts. "It's not fairrrrr!" is me saying the same thing about something I don't like as when I was about 2. "Why can't this go faster?" is, underneath, me whining about the trip the same way I did on family trips when I was 5 -- "Are we there yet? Waaah!" If you say some of these things out loud (by yourself, not in public) and stamp your foot, etc., you can really get how funny it is.
So I notice I am running the tape (saying something I have been saying for years), poke fun at myself, and then get back to work.

I love this! Thanks!

proudseal

IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »

If it's too hard, don't quit, make it easier. If it's too fast, don't quit, slow down. Whatever it is, just don't quit.

If your diet isn't working, try some other way, but don't quit.

The results come EVENTUALLY. But not if you quit and start and quit and start over and quit.

This is great! And congrats on your success!

proudseal

Thanks everybody who posted!!

I heard another good one the other day. "Don't worry about tomorrow, that's future [your-name-here]'s problem. Just worry about what you can do today."

IHaveMyActTogether

proudseal wrote: »

IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »

If it's too hard, don't quit, make it easier. If it's too fast, don't quit, slow down. Whatever it is, just don't quit.

If your diet isn't working, try some other way, but don't quit.

The results come EVENTUALLY. But not if you quit and start and quit and start over and quit.

This is great! And congrats on your success!

Thanks! Don't quit!

emmies_123

For exercising, I just listen to the little voice of my mom in my head whenever I don't want to do a thing:

"It took you longer to whine about it than if you just did it. You could have been having fun by now if you just did it when you first knew about it" I have to tell myself that just about every morning (exercise before work) when I want to surf the web "just 5 more minutes"

For eating habit changes (my biggest issue was grazing all day between meals)

"Sure you could have that thing now, but is it worth eating that now instead of a larger dessert later?"
For reference, I have been able to minimize grazing to the point where I can safely have a dessert up to 250-300 calories every night and still have deficit to slowly lose weight.

For the judgy part of my brain when I see someone better looking
Bad thought = "so not fair, she/he doesn't have to work at their lifestyle at all to look that nice"
Corrective thought = "They just work on it when you don't see them. No one looks that good naturally. People think that about me too"

I have to tell myself both of these things almost every day, after 6 months of working to be fit. But it works for me every time.

Ninkasi

My relationship with food has changed. Not just cutting out the snacking and boredom eating that was messing me up but the idea of what food is for, that its primary purpose is to fuel your body, has started to take root in my head. It's a delicate and imperfect understanding and a lot of days I'm afraid I'm going to lose that mindset but I'm unlearning a lot of entrenched incorrect ideas and habits as I go along. I don't reject the idea that food can be celebratory also, but I approach it now with the idea that every day is not a celebration (with respect to food, anyway).

The other thing I've drawn on when it seems like the scale won't budge and my faith in the process is failing, I think of my time in grad school. I wanted that degree so I followed the plan, even on days when I felt like I had no clue what I was doing, or why I was doing it anymore, and I was pretty sure I was going to give up long before I accomplished my goal. I had a list of goals and expectations for each day and did my best to stick to them. When my faith was gone and everything seemed pointless I stuck to the plan, as hard as it was, because there was no other choice. Eventually something went right and it was enough success to get me farther down the road until I reached my goal. Losing weight has been a lot like that for me: stick to the plan, even when the road isn't clear, because there really is no other choice. Or rather, the other choices are unacceptable.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

MsBaz2018

Bad attitude: why is dessert so calorific!! Some people don't even like food. Why do I get penalized for loving food and trying out new recipes!

But then it's my motivation to exercise to bank the calories for dessert. And overall to eat better overall so that I can eat some high calorie foods once in a while without blowing my calorie budget.

ChangeIsGood29

I've dealt with the "this isn't fair" thing over and over. This time, I had a little talk with myself about things that really aren't fair. I figure I have plenty in my life that others would like and am good at some things that others maybe aren't. For example, math comes easy to me, and I know it doesn't for others. I just have to remind myself that nutrition and exercise are things that don't come easy for me. It is just part of who I am, and I have to actually work at it unlike some other things in my life that do just come naturally for me. It has really helped me to just remember that this is one aspect of my life I have to work for and focus on that others may not but that's okay.

pinuplove

The time will pass anyway. Might as well work on being just a little bit better in the process.

susanmc31

I needed an attitude change so I started a gratitude journal that I do every night and fill in 3 things that I'm grateful for that happened during that particular day. Funny, when you start looking for the good in the day your whole attitude can change.

BreezyWerner

My outlook on cheat foods has changed from “I can’t have that” to “I don’t want that.” I realized that when I start craving something that doesn’t get me to my goal, I just need to stop and evaluate my feelings, stress level, etc. If I am truly hungry, I have something that serves my goal and feeds my body. If I really want the cheat food, I trust myself to just take a couple of small bites and be done with it. Has worked so far. 110 days and 30 pounds down.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

potokat

"What are some bad attitudes you had to overcome? How did you change your thinking, or what do you tell yourself that helps you lose weight?"
I'm 39, lost almost 60 pounds over the last 2.5 years, former yo-yo dieter. One of the big reasons I decided I had to change is because I was tired of being tired. I live in Colorado, land of people who are super fit, and I couldn't even walk down the street without being out of breath. At 37 I decided I wanted to learn to snowboard, and there were days I'd go down the bunny hill once and be done, because I didn't have the stamina to continue. I took a long look at what I wanted to be able to do, and whether or not my sedentary life of Taco Bell, craft beer, and Diablo was making me truly happy. Short answer: no. It helped that my parents are in terrible shape, refuse to exercise, and continue to eat garbage. My dad is on so many medications I've lost track, and everything started to go downhill for him in his early 40s, which isn't too far off for me. So I had all kinds of motivation of the negative sort. Not gonna lie, those first six months of exercising SUCKED. I cried almost every workout, everything was super hard, and I kept telling myself that it was punishment for all the years I sat on my butt and did nothing. I kept asking people when it would stop feeling like torture. I wanted to quit, but I'm also stubborn, and had vowed to make a change, and I knew what the alternative was. The fact that things were so hard for me really drove home how much harder life was going to be as I aged if I didn't follow through with this change. So I kept at it. And six months is about when stuff started to suck a little less. Still couldn't do a push-up, but I could do them from my knees, which was better than the wall push-ups I started with. It was those little victories I held on to, as well as the weight loss that happened, that kept me motivated for awhile. That helped change the internal monologue from "This is torture, I deserve this" to "Holy *kitten*, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO NOW that I couldn't do before! This sucks WAY less than it did at first!"
With regard to nutrition, I remind myself that food isn't going to make me feel better. Food isn't going to take my stress away - it's just going to cause a different type of stress, and I don't need any more than I already have. I'm not perfect - there are periodic KitKat binges, and those stupid flavored Oreos are super dangerous - but I'm learning to moderate more than I have in the past, and I don't use them as rewards or punishments - they are food. I log them, and I move on with my life.
Wow, this got long.

New_Heavens_Earth

Telling myself that I did not wake up like this, no one does. My friend told me that my progres is the result of consistency and endurance. I have been so tempted by the quick result schemes out there that I've lost sight and gratitude for what I have done and what works. I know what to do and how. I just need to focus on that instead of the how long.

angmarie28

I really try to find the possitive in every situation in life in general. I do have depression, It used to be really bad, and still can be at times, but when I was around 17 (13 years ago) I realized that is NOT how I want to spend my life, I also avoid medications until its a last resort. I decided then that I will find the possitive in EVERY situation, If the situation really does suck, I can cry it out, I can feel sorry for myself, I can get my emotions out, but then I will pull myself together, I will put my big girl panties on, and I will fix it. It has worked great for me, It has saved my marriage, and Im trying to do the same with my weightloss, which is a struggle as food is my go to when Im stressed, but I try to tell myself things like

-Stress eating is not going to solve this issue, But stress eating will make me feel worse about myself, and I will feel guilty in the end, but when I dont cave, I will feel better about myself.
-This feeling of wanting to eat (my mind says im hungry, but really i just want to eat) is annoying, but will so be worth it when I dont see that junk food on my hips anymore.
-Eventually this way of eating will become normal, and this feeling of wanting to eat just to eat will go away
-I need to keep this up to stay healthy for my kids.

malika1976

potokat wrote: »

"What are some bad attitudes you had to overcome? How did you change your thinking, or what do you tell yourself that helps you lose weight?"
I'm 39, lost almost 60 pounds over the last 2.5 years, former yo-yo dieter. One of the big reasons I decided I had to change is because I was tired of being tired. I live in Colorado, land of people who are super fit, and I couldn't even walk down the street without being out of breath. At 37 I decided I wanted to learn to snowboard, and there were days I'd go down the bunny hill once and be done, because I didn't have the stamina to continue. I took a long look at what I wanted to be able to do, and whether or not my sedentary life of Taco Bell, craft beer, and Diablo was making me truly happy. Short answer: no. It helped that my parents are in terrible shape, refuse to exercise, and continue to eat garbage. My dad is on so many medications I've lost track, and everything started to go downhill for him in his early 40s, which isn't too far off for me. So I had all kinds of motivation of the negative sort. Not gonna lie, those first six months of exercising SUCKED. I cried almost every workout, everything was super hard, and I kept telling myself that it was punishment for all the years I sat on my butt and did nothing. I kept asking people when it would stop feeling like torture. I wanted to quit, but I'm also stubborn, and had vowed to make a change, and I knew what the alternative was. The fact that things were so hard for me really drove home how much harder life was going to be as I aged if I didn't follow through with this change. So I kept at it. And six months is about when stuff started to suck a little less. Still couldn't do a push-up, but I could do them from my knees, which was better than the wall push-ups I started with. It was those little victories I held on to, as well as the weight loss that happened, that kept me motivated for awhile. That helped change the internal monologue from "This is torture, I deserve this" to "Holy *kitten*, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO NOW that I couldn't do before! This sucks WAY less than it did at first!"
With regard to nutrition, I remind myself that food isn't going to make me feel better. Food isn't going to take my stress away - it's just going to cause a different type of stress, and I don't need any more than I already have. I'm not perfect - there are periodic KitKat binges, and those stupid flavored Oreos are super dangerous - but I'm learning to moderate more than I have in the past, and I don't use them as rewards or punishments - they are food. I log them, and I move on with my life.
Wow, this got long.

Your post is amazing, thank you. It makes me more motivated to keep trying

Snowflake1968

sarahjanes25 wrote: »

Personally- I think if it’s hard, your doing something wrong.
I’ve spent about 15 years doing a diet that was hard, restricting and would leave me giving up. I always wanted quick results. I wanted to be thin yesterday. It was all or nothing for me.
This time round it’s different. I’m not on a diet so I can’t fall off. This time I told myself, there is no time limit. There is no end goal. I’m just going to eat a little bit better and exercise and if in a years time I’ve maintained and not gained then that is success.
I also used to think oh I won’t exercise today- one day won’t make a difference. But this time I’ve told myself -
Every day counts.
It’s not about perfect, it’s about effort. And when that effort is implemented every single day, great things will happen.
I’ve changed my attitude now for a year and I’ve lost 42 pound. It hasn’t been hard. I still have all the things I want, Chinese food, chocolate, crisps but I have them in moderation as part of a balanced diet. In the beginning I was exercising to lose weight now I do it because I enjoy it.
Be kind to yourself. You can do anything you want

I love your whole attitude, but this sticks out for me. I am doing the same thing. A loss is a loss no matter how tiny it seems at the time.

Unknown

This content has been removed.