how should i deal with a jerk at the gym
ImSoSquishy
Posts: 57 Member
in Chit-Chat
this is going to be a rant and vent as i've been so frustrated with this guy at the gym i'm going to. so i've started and have been doing powerlifting for some time now. recently i switched from going to gym at night to the day time(1 to 3pm) as my schedule has changed. at first, going to gym at this time wasn't so bad, since it's less crowded. but since 3 weeks ago, there's this *kitten* bodybuilder who won't leave me alone. he keeps following me around the entire gym and tries to have one sided competitions with me with every lift i do and it's just so annoying. there are even a lot of times he would purposely get in my way to interrupt my lifts. i'll use an example based on the past friday.
so on friday i got to gym, put my stuff in the locker, did my mobility work, and proceeded to the squat racks. i didn't see him there so i thought "great, maybe he won't be here today and i can workout in peace" while doing my warm up sets with the bare barbell, i see the guy walking into the gym from the mirror and i thought "sigh... here he comes again...". he looks around, he sees me, and immediately comes to the squat rack next to mines when there's 5 other squat racks available as usual. while working up to my actual working sets which is 90% x2, 92.5% x1, and 95%x1(275 lbs) and 80% for 1+ reps. the guy keeps throwing on the same exact amount of weights i'm using. while i was sticking to 3 reps to 4 rep ranges to work my way up while still preserving energy for my actual working sets and he would constantly turn his head over at me to see what i did and try to compete with me by dishing out more reps than me every time.
for the past 2 weeks, this is the first time he has seen me on my heavy days. i did repetition day with 225-245 lbs last week and speed/explosive reps 155-180 lbs with resistance bands the week before. also he has a habit of interrupting me right after i get under the bar and about to walk out before the guy will come and grab weights between our squat rack by the mirrors in front of us, sometimes he waits until i completely unracked the bar, got into position, tightened up and about to engage the first rep to switch out his weights. every time for the entire 1 minute to 2 minutes during my rest time, while i was sitting there waiting for the timer and while he just was standing there dicking around, he could've loaded/unloaded weights. but no, he would just wait until i'm about to start my set first before he does this childish crap.
so anyways, once we got past past the 245 lbs point, that's when his grunting and half/quart squatting started. when i finally got to my actually working sets, i completed 260 lbs x2 reps. i sat on the floor to start the timer for 1 min 30 seconds, and sipped on some water. all of a sudden the guy started grunting so loudly that even with my powerbeats 3 set to 80% can hear him screaming. but the thing is he is literally screaming/grunting for no reason. from the mirror, i see him just standing under the bar with his head turned over facing me, he's just looking at me and the bar is still sitting on the hooks while he was screaming his lungs out like he's a character from dragon ball z powering up for a fight. after that it is time for my 92.5% x1, i did it and sat back down, set timer, change songs, drink water, and etc. he was still standing under 260 lbs and screaming his lungs out, he hasn't moved, or did anything at all. then a guy from across the gym came up to me, he offered me $20 and begged me to just turn over and look at him so everyone can have some peace and quiet in the gym. so i was like "oh $20 to look at some one really quick, sure why not?" so i accepted the money, me and the guy was watching him and he finally started his squat because we're looking at him now. he did a quarter squat, got stuck for like 2 seconds before he got out the hole.
so basically i've been dealing with this guy for 3 weeks now. one time he almost bumped into the barbell in mid rep of a bench press and it got me so scared. i've tried to talk to him a couple of times after that to get him to stop following me. but each time he would be a jerk towards me. each time when i tried to talk to him to tell him stop, he starts mocking me with a fake asian accent. he would be like "oooooh me no english" then he like squints his eyes, puts his fist on his palm like what ancient chinese people did in the past and then laughs about it. like wtf, i don't even have an accent, i'm born and raise at USA. i spoke to gym management, they said they will talk to him. but it doesn't seem like they ever spoke to him as he kept doing it. so, i just don't know what to do anymore or how to even deal with this guy. i did think about switching gyms, but the only other 2 gyms in my area is NYSC elite which cost $100 per month, and a Equinox $250 per month, both of them are too expensive for me. i'm so frustrated at gym, i just want to work out alone and not be bothered but this guy is just too much. sigh... any advice would be great.
so on friday i got to gym, put my stuff in the locker, did my mobility work, and proceeded to the squat racks. i didn't see him there so i thought "great, maybe he won't be here today and i can workout in peace" while doing my warm up sets with the bare barbell, i see the guy walking into the gym from the mirror and i thought "sigh... here he comes again...". he looks around, he sees me, and immediately comes to the squat rack next to mines when there's 5 other squat racks available as usual. while working up to my actual working sets which is 90% x2, 92.5% x1, and 95%x1(275 lbs) and 80% for 1+ reps. the guy keeps throwing on the same exact amount of weights i'm using. while i was sticking to 3 reps to 4 rep ranges to work my way up while still preserving energy for my actual working sets and he would constantly turn his head over at me to see what i did and try to compete with me by dishing out more reps than me every time.
for the past 2 weeks, this is the first time he has seen me on my heavy days. i did repetition day with 225-245 lbs last week and speed/explosive reps 155-180 lbs with resistance bands the week before. also he has a habit of interrupting me right after i get under the bar and about to walk out before the guy will come and grab weights between our squat rack by the mirrors in front of us, sometimes he waits until i completely unracked the bar, got into position, tightened up and about to engage the first rep to switch out his weights. every time for the entire 1 minute to 2 minutes during my rest time, while i was sitting there waiting for the timer and while he just was standing there dicking around, he could've loaded/unloaded weights. but no, he would just wait until i'm about to start my set first before he does this childish crap.
so anyways, once we got past past the 245 lbs point, that's when his grunting and half/quart squatting started. when i finally got to my actually working sets, i completed 260 lbs x2 reps. i sat on the floor to start the timer for 1 min 30 seconds, and sipped on some water. all of a sudden the guy started grunting so loudly that even with my powerbeats 3 set to 80% can hear him screaming. but the thing is he is literally screaming/grunting for no reason. from the mirror, i see him just standing under the bar with his head turned over facing me, he's just looking at me and the bar is still sitting on the hooks while he was screaming his lungs out like he's a character from dragon ball z powering up for a fight. after that it is time for my 92.5% x1, i did it and sat back down, set timer, change songs, drink water, and etc. he was still standing under 260 lbs and screaming his lungs out, he hasn't moved, or did anything at all. then a guy from across the gym came up to me, he offered me $20 and begged me to just turn over and look at him so everyone can have some peace and quiet in the gym. so i was like "oh $20 to look at some one really quick, sure why not?" so i accepted the money, me and the guy was watching him and he finally started his squat because we're looking at him now. he did a quarter squat, got stuck for like 2 seconds before he got out the hole.
so basically i've been dealing with this guy for 3 weeks now. one time he almost bumped into the barbell in mid rep of a bench press and it got me so scared. i've tried to talk to him a couple of times after that to get him to stop following me. but each time he would be a jerk towards me. each time when i tried to talk to him to tell him stop, he starts mocking me with a fake asian accent. he would be like "oooooh me no english" then he like squints his eyes, puts his fist on his palm like what ancient chinese people did in the past and then laughs about it. like wtf, i don't even have an accent, i'm born and raise at USA. i spoke to gym management, they said they will talk to him. but it doesn't seem like they ever spoke to him as he kept doing it. so, i just don't know what to do anymore or how to even deal with this guy. i did think about switching gyms, but the only other 2 gyms in my area is NYSC elite which cost $100 per month, and a Equinox $250 per month, both of them are too expensive for me. i'm so frustrated at gym, i just want to work out alone and not be bothered but this guy is just too much. sigh... any advice would be great.
5
Replies
-
Record it. That might help you force gym management to deal with it.
If he is doing things to disturb the other patrons have them speak up too.
You have to 100% ignore him and don't engage, though. If you keep giving him attention he won't stop.1 -
Sling a dumbbell at him!3
-
Justified76 wrote: »Sling a dumbbell at him!
I mean at his head0 -
jogetsgains wrote: »Record it. That might help you force gym management to deal with it.
If he is doing things to disturb the other patrons have them speak up too.
You have to 100% ignore him and don't engage, though. If you keep giving him attention he won't stop.
thanks for your input, i didn't think about recording his actions as i usually don't record anything in general. but i will start recording for maybe a week or so and send the clips to management email or something. thanks!
1 -
ImSoSquishy wrote: »jogetsgains wrote: »Record it. That might help you force gym management to deal with it.
If he is doing things to disturb the other patrons have them speak up too.
You have to 100% ignore him and don't engage, though. If you keep giving him attention he won't stop.
thanks for your input, i didn't think about recording his actions as i usually don't record anything in general. but i will start recording for maybe a week or so and send the clips to management email or something. thanks!Justified76 wrote: »Sling a dumbbell at him!
Ahem...0 -
Hope it helps1
-
ImSoSquishy wrote: »this is going to be a rant and vent as i've been so frustrated with this guy at the gym i'm going to. so i've started and have been doing powerlifting for some time now. recently i switched from going to gym at night to the day time(1 to 3pm) as my schedule has changed. at first, going to gym at this time wasn't so bad, since it's less crowded. but since 3 weeks ago, there's this *kitten* bodybuilder who won't leave me alone. he keeps following me around the entire gym and tries to have one sided competitions with me with every lift i do and it's just so annoying. there are even a lot of times he would purposely get in my way to interrupt my lifts. i'll use an example based on the past friday.
so on friday i got to gym, put my stuff in the locker, did my mobility work, and proceeded to the squat racks. i didn't see him there so i thought "great, maybe he won't be here today and i can workout in peace" while doing my warm up sets with the bare barbell, i see the guy walking into the gym from the mirror and i thought "sigh... here he comes again...". he looks around, he sees me, and immediately comes to the squat rack next to mines when there's 5 other squat racks available as usual. while working up to my actual working sets which is 90% x2, 92.5% x1, and 95%x1(275 lbs) and 80% for 1+ reps. the guy keeps throwing on the same exact amount of weights i'm using. while i was sticking to 3 reps to 4 rep ranges to work my way up while still preserving energy for my actual working sets and he would constantly turn his head over at me to see what i did and try to compete with me by dishing out more reps than me every time.
for the past 2 weeks, this is the first time he has seen me on my heavy days. i did repetition day with 225-245 lbs last week and speed/explosive reps 155-180 lbs with resistance bands the week before. also he has a habit of interrupting me right after i get under the bar and about to walk out before the guy will come and grab weights between our squat rack by the mirrors in front of us, sometimes he waits until i completely unracked the bar, got into position, tightened up and about to engage the first rep to switch out his weights. every time for the entire 1 minute to 2 minutes during my rest time, while i was sitting there waiting for the timer and while he just was standing there dicking around, he could've loaded/unloaded weights. but no, he would just wait until i'm about to start my set first before he does this childish crap.
so anyways, once we got past past the 245 lbs point, that's when his grunting and half/quart squatting started. when i finally got to my actually working sets, i completed 260 lbs x2 reps. i sat on the floor to start the timer for 1 min 30 seconds, and sipped on some water. all of a sudden the guy started grunting so loudly that even with my powerbeats 3 set to 80% can hear him screaming. but the thing is he is literally screaming/grunting for no reason. from the mirror, i see him just standing under the bar with his head turned over facing me, he's just looking at me and the bar is still sitting on the hooks while he was screaming his lungs out like he's a character from dragon ball z powering up for a fight. after that it is time for my 92.5% x1, i did it and sat back down, set timer, change songs, drink water, and etc. he was still standing under 260 lbs and screaming his lungs out, he hasn't moved, or did anything at all. then a guy from across the gym came up to me, he offered me $20 and begged me to just turn over and look at him so everyone can have some peace and quiet in the gym. so i was like "oh $20 to look at some one really quick, sure why not?" so i accepted the money, me and the guy was watching him and he finally started his squat because we're looking at him now. he did a quarter squat, got stuck for like 2 seconds before he got out the hole.
so basically i've been dealing with this guy for 3 weeks now. one time he almost bumped into the barbell in mid rep of a bench press and it got me so scared. i've tried to talk to him a couple of times after that to get him to stop following me. but each time he would be a jerk towards me. each time when i tried to talk to him to tell him stop, he starts mocking me with a fake asian accent. he would be like "oooooh me no english" then he like squints his eyes, puts his fist on his palm like what ancient chinese people did in the past and then laughs about it. like wtf, i don't even have an accent, i'm born and raise at USA. i spoke to gym management, they said they will talk to him. but it doesn't seem like they ever spoke to him as he kept doing it. so, i just don't know what to do anymore or how to even deal with this guy. i did think about switching gyms, but the only other 2 gyms in my area is NYSC elite which cost $100 per month, and a Equinox $250 per month, both of them are too expensive for me. i'm so frustrated at gym, i just want to work out alone and not be bothered but this guy is just too much. sigh... any advice would be great.
I was fine with his nonsense level until you said, bumped into your barbell during bench and talking with a fake Asian accent.
One is dangerous and the other is racist. I'd suggest you show up next time with a bunch of your buddies on a one day pass, and have a martial arts workout in front of his face. Do the whole: so you wanna be racist? So I'm gonna be real stereotypical Asian right now. Put it in his head he needs to avoid YOU.
5 -
jogetsgains wrote: »Record it. That might help you force gym management to deal with it.
If he is doing things to disturb the other patrons have them speak up too.
You have to 100% ignore him and don't engage, though. If you keep giving him attention he won't stop.
I say Facebook live that ish and douche shame him.4 -
Justified76 wrote: »Justified76 wrote: »Sling a dumbbell at him!
I mean at his head
lols, he actually almost flung a dumbbell at me last week on wednesday. after i finished bench pressing, i went doing lateral raises, he came and stood next to me to do what i was doing. he saw i was using 25lbs, so he grabbed the 35s and started swinging uncontrollably. i just quickly moved over and away from him as i didn't want to be hit by accident lmao.0 -
[/quote]
I was fine with his nonsense level until you said, bumped into your barbell during bench and talking with a fake Asian accent.
One is dangerous and the other is racist. I'd suggest you show up next time with a bunch of your buddies on a one day pass, and have a martial arts workout in front of his face. Do the whole: so you wanna be racist? So I'm gonna be real stereotypical Asian right now. Put it in his head he needs to avoid YOU.
[/quote]
yeah, what happened was after i lowered the bar to my ribcage, paused for 2 seconds. as i leg drived the bar half way up and about to start locking out, all of a sudden his thighs and hips just came swooping into my peripheral vision on the right side in the way of my bar path, because he wants to grab the 2.5lbs plates off my bench station to match what i'm doing with more reps so he can show off or whatever his intention is towards me. i instantly stopped moving and just holding on to 185 lbs bar as hard as i could in the middle of the rep as my life depended on it. it completely threw me off, i was so scared to the point that i was felt like i was about to poop in my pants. after i racked the bar, my hands were just shaking like crazy and i had to call it short for the day with benching. he always does this, he always comes to where i'm busy working out to grab weights when there's the same weights all over the gym.
0 -
Why’s he picking on you so hard 😟
Is there any way you can have a friend or a family member record him for you? Maybe use a scare tactic and threaten to shame him online if he doesn’t stop.... is recording someone allowed in your state?0 -
Why’s he picking on you so hard 😟
Is there any way you can have a friend or a family member record him for you? Maybe use a scare tactic and threaten to shame him online if he doesn’t stop.... is recording someone allowed in your state?
I have no idea why he’s only doing this to me as I have never seen him in my life until I started going to gym at this time of the day. It would be easier if it was night time to have a friend come with me but in the day time most of my friends are too busy with work. Before I use to complain about going to gym at night because it’s more crowded but now it’s like I can’t wait until they change my work schedule back to day time now lol0 -
ImSoSquishy wrote: »Why’s he picking on you so hard 😟
Is there any way you can have a friend or a family member record him for you? Maybe use a scare tactic and threaten to shame him online if he doesn’t stop.... is recording someone allowed in your state?
I have no idea why he’s only doing this to me as I have never seen him in my life until I started going to gym at this time of the day. It would be easier if it was night time to have a friend come with me but in the day time most of my friends are too busy with work. Before I use to complain about going to gym at night because it’s more crowded but now it’s like I can’t wait until they change my work schedule back to day time now lol
Give me the number to your gym I’ll make a complaint. The managers suck, they really should take initiative in making sure you know what’s going on with that dude, and let you know that they’ve dealt with him.1 -
Wow... this guy is a complete tool. Yeah, why not record this fool and then show it to the management?
It sounds like this clown is deranged... really. (The fact that he's also a racist hopes that he catches a 30 lb dumbbell square in the teeth.)
It's the safety issue that is most concerning. That alone should be enough to earn the management's attention.
I'm typically one for dealing with my own issues, but in this case, I would go back to management. I would also note who you talk to, the day and time of the conversation, your thoughts and finally, their reply to you.
Sorry you're going through this, hang in there.1 -
Report the racist behavior to gym staff. He can claim you just happen to have the same routine if you accuse him of that but the racist *kitten* is undeniable if you have a witness (which it sounds like you could get pretty easily).
Alternatively you can wait for him to throw out his back or get arrested in a roid rage incident.0 -
Pick up a barbell that is too heavy for you to work with, but is the perfect weight to "accidentally" drop it on his toes while he is standing too close.0
-
When you speak again to management, I would stress to them that they will be held severely accountable if this D-bag causes an injury because they did nothing about him. Just watch your back, man.2
-
huntersvonnegut wrote: »When you speak again to management, I would stress to them that they will be held severely accountable if this D-bag causes an injury because they did nothing about him. Just watch your back, man.
yep, great point(s).0 -
happytree923 wrote: »Report the racist behavior to gym staff. He can claim you just happen to have the same routine if you accuse him of that but the racist *kitten* is undeniable if you have a witness (which it sounds like you could get pretty easily).
Alternatively you can wait for him to throw out his back or get arrested in a roid rage incident.
tomorrow is my deadlift day, maybe he will break his back trying to out lift me again lols. i saw him deadlifting with a rounded lower back next to me the past 2 mondays and his movement mechanics aren't great at all, so it is possible for it to happen3 -
huntersvonnegut wrote: »When you speak again to management, I would stress to them that they will be held severely accountable if this D-bag causes an injury because they did nothing about him. Just watch your back, man.
yeah, will do. ever since i reported him to gym staff the first time. i have been using a locker closer to the door instead of the back. just in case he tries to do something to me for reporting him while i'm getting ready to leave i can escape easier.0 -
ImSoSquishy wrote: »Why’s he picking on you so hard 😟
Is there any way you can have a friend or a family member record him for you? Maybe use a scare tactic and threaten to shame him online if he doesn’t stop.... is recording someone allowed in your state?
I have no idea why he’s only doing this to me as I have never seen him in my life until I started going to gym at this time of the day. It would be easier if it was night time to have a friend come with me but in the day time most of my friends are too busy with work. Before I use to complain about going to gym at night because it’s more crowded but now it’s like I can’t wait until they change my work schedule back to day time now lol
Maybe this is the equivalent of the little boy pulling the hair of the little girl he really likes but pretends not too.. maybe he's infatuated with you and trying to get your attention? .. Just don't give it to him, don't make eye contact or speak. Totally ignore.
Sorry, I dont have any ideas, you've already contacted management, that usually works.
I hope he gets the hint soon.2 -
Okay, so this guy is clearly racist, and is deliberately intimidating you because he's a racist with a pathetically overinflated ego. He seems to be slowly ramping up his aggression towards you, and he might even be trying to goad you into doing something silly so he can get you kicked out and keep his imagined "alpha male" crown as the self-styled king of the gym.
It's up to the gym to protect its users from harassment. If they don't, it might be better if you can find another gym, because this person may not stop. People like him don't enact this pattern of behaviour from nowhere. They're immature, oversensitive bullies who can't stand humiliation, and the fact that someone offered you money to pay him attention suggests that he's got a reputation and the other gym users know it, which is why they steer clear of him.
Despite him being a tantrum-ridden child in an adult's body, he's deliberately putting you at risk of injury and he's scaring you. Take this seriously. No gym is worth your physical and emotional safety. Report him when you can, get multiple recordings to show that these incidents are ongoing, or take friends as witnesses.
Don't bother trying to engage or reason with him; that's the staff's job and they should've done it when you first told them what was going on. You may have to threaten the gym with a lawsuit since they've apparently done nothing, and you may end up having to find another gym that has and enforces rules about harassment.1 -
I presume this isn’t a planet fitness?
0 -
Ok so record yourself working out; I record my lifts for form check. You are bound to catch some of this guy's behavior...or he'll see the phone recording and stop the harrassment.
ETA: are there other powerlifters there at the same time? Befriend one by asking for spot or lift off...the guy seems predatory b/c you are alone.4 -
Go up to him and say hello, ask him how his day is going. Then nonchalantly slip in that you spoke with the devil earlier that morning behind a Tim Horton's. Maybe he'll start leaving you alone???5
-
1
-
Tell him you've noticed him hanging around you a lot and think it's really cute he has a crush on you but you're already spoken for.
And then possibly duck.
3 -
huntersvonnegut wrote: »I presume this isn’t a planet fitness?
nope, it isn't a planet fitness. they don't have one at my area close to where i live either0 -
deputy_randolph wrote: »Ok so record yourself working out; I record my lifts for form check. You are bound to catch some of this guy's behavior...or he'll see the phone recording and stop the harrassment.
ETA: are there other powerlifters there at the same time? Befriend one by asking for spot or lift off...the guy seems predatory b/c you are alone.
i'm like one of the only few powerlifters here at this gym as far as i know including other times of the day. most guys here are mostly bodybuilders and just the ones that just sits around, play on their phones, or stalk/look at girls around the gym.0 -
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions