Remind me why it's better to lose weight slowly. Frustrated.
Asher_Ethan
Posts: 2,430 Member
My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
13
Replies
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Comparison is the thief of joy.
Nine pounds in your first month is exactly where you want to be.
Other people’s opinions? Bish. Losing weight is hard enough. I am vague and unspecific to random comments and opinions. They don’t have to live in my body.10 -
2lbs+ a week is slow?!?!?!
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if I eat too little for too long I end up bingeing. So i'd rather lose slowly (and by slowly i'm talking 500grams per week if that) but at least not be starving.3
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9 pounds is a very rapid rate of loss unless you started at over 200 lbs. Losing weight very rapidly takes a toll on your muscles and your hair - you won't see the hair loss for months until after it's too late to save it.6
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Does no one else hold onto excess water weight after an all-you-can-eat-and-drink vacation? I do alllll the time. I didn't weigh myself before the vacation but I weighed myself after because I knew it would feel good to watch the scale go down easily hahaha.
I'm aiming to lose a little more than a pound a week until I get to my last 20. Then a pound a week. Then for the last 10 I want to lose .5 pounds a week.3 -
rheddmobile wrote: »9 pounds is a very rapid rate of loss unless you started at over 200 lbs. Losing weight very rapidly takes a toll on your muscles and your hair - you won't see the hair loss for months until after it's too late to save it.
This. I lost too quickly and I started losing hair by the handful- I had to cut it to a bob and I had hip length hair! It’s likely because my iron levels got a teensy bit low for a long time. Trying to even just slow the hair loss down is hard.
Also you said the best one - conserving muscle!3 -
don't compare your loss to any man's and not hubby.... they always lose faster. ..and don't hinge your motivation and drive on the thoughtless comments of other people. You will fail if you do these things.
You'v e done a great job.. five or nine pounds in a month is just fine. Keep moving ahead with your goals. You're going to look amazing...I've lost 40 pounds and only a few ;people have said something. People are weird.4 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »Does no one else hold onto excess water weight after an all-you-can-eat-and-drink vacation? I do alllll the time. I didn't weigh myself before the vacation but I weighed myself after because I knew it would feel good to watch the scale go down easily hahaha.
I'm aiming to lose a little more than a pound a week until I get to my last 20. Then a pound a week. Then for the last 10 I want to lose .5 pounds a week.
I hold onto excess water weight for more than a week after a return from cruises - starts off at around 8-9lbs in the first few days, dwindles to 2lbs around day 7 and then by day 14 I'm back at my usual weight.
Your aim of 1lb a week is a healthy aim. Don't compare yourself to others, and especially not your hubby, men do seem to lose at a quicker rate - sods! LOL
Keep up the good work!
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Asher_Ethan wrote: »Does no one else hold onto excess water weight after an all-you-can-eat-and-drink vacation? I do alllll the time. I didn't weigh myself before the vacation but I weighed myself after because I knew it would feel good to watch the scale go down easily hahaha.
I'm aiming to lose a little more than a pound a week until I get to my last 20. Then a pound a week. Then for the last 10 I want to lose .5 pounds a week.
yep, i gained 5lbs last all inclusive...2 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »Does no one else hold onto excess water weight after an all-you-can-eat-and-drink vacation? I do alllll the time.
Yes. I swear my genetic makeup is half balloon as I can expand so quickly in the blink of an eye.
Conversely dropping that water weight tends to be easy as well so I get back to my regular size fairly soon after a holiday is over.
It does mess with your head but you just have to trust the process sometimes.
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Don’t let your brain minimize or explain away success. Those lbs you gained on vacation would still be there if you hadn’t lost them.
Weight loss is a solitary pursuit. What your husband does really isn’t relevant to you. Your mission is to be the leading expert on you losing weight. BTW, it’s a lot less risky to comment on a guy’s weight or appearance. But in the end, if you’re depending on what others say to keep you going, you’re cooked going in. People as a group are nuts, who cares what they say?
I urge you to rethink. Ditch the plans about how much you’re going to lose by when. If MFP is spitting out those projections at you, ignore them. All these calculators give the impression our bodies run like modern cars with internal computers. They do not.
Make your plan about things you can control. Like plan on keeping your food diary every day for 10 weeks, or better 3-4 months. Or start a walking program. Set up regular controled weekly weigh ins to chart your progress.
Try to look at WL as a set of things to do everyday. The advantage of losing slowly?
If you want the lbs to stay gone, you need to change your life. You can’t weight 120lbs living a 150lb lifestyle. You can’t change like that in the blink of an eye. But you can change your thinking right now. So forget the calendar, ignore what your husband does and embrace the process. The process will see you through.12 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Perhaps the easiest, fastest healthiest weight loss you could do would be to jettison this a-hole from your life.
You will have much more success if you are comfortable in your own skin, focusing in what you need to do for your body and enjoying the process. And you can. Enjoy losing weight. The quick approach you mention requires a lot more sacrifice and frustration. Learning about yourself, how you can better manage your intake while being happy, and savoring your successes make the process much more satisfying.
But, still not always easy.
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I hear you. Yes some of that was probably water but you lost fat too! Congrats on that. Take your time. Believe me it's better in the long run. You are more likely to maintain, you protect muscle and you will learn some new things. Trust me. It took me 2 years to lose all mine but I'm maintaining now for the first time in my life. Your hubby is male and they lose faster and I'm sure he had some water retention as well; also how much does he have to lose? And the big question is will he keep it off? Hang in there even at 5 pounds a month you are losing at a healthy and maintainable rate. Keep going.3
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Such great support and ideas!!!!!0
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Asher_Ethan wrote: »My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
This is BEYOND unacceptable! There's no way I would've let this comment slide and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me. What a completely insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
Great advice from everyone else already: just keep doing what you're doing. Be consistent. It will pay off.3 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
This is BEYOND unacceptable! There's no way I would've let this comment slide and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me. What a completely insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
Great advice from everyone else already: just keep doing what you're doing. Be consistent. It will pay off.
Yeah... it was my mom who said it... She's always said snide comments about my weight. I can usually ignore them but this time it hurt because I HAVE lost weight but it's not showing yet because I'm purposely going slow.2 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
This is BEYOND unacceptable! There's no way I would've let this comment slide and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me. What a completely insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
Great advice from everyone else already: just keep doing what you're doing. Be consistent. It will pay off.
Yeah... it was my mom who said it... She's always said snide comments about my weight. I can usually ignore them but this time it hurt because I HAVE lost weight but it's not showing yet because I'm purposely going slow.
Do you and your husband have exactly the same amount of weight to lose?0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
This is BEYOND unacceptable! There's no way I would've let this comment slide and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me. What a completely insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
Great advice from everyone else already: just keep doing what you're doing. Be consistent. It will pay off.
Yeah... it was my mom who said it... She's always said snide comments about my weight. I can usually ignore them but this time it hurt because I HAVE lost weight but it's not showing yet because I'm purposely going slow.
Do you and your husband have exactly the same amount of weight to lose?
Actually, yes (I didn't realize this until just now hahaha)0 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
This is BEYOND unacceptable! There's no way I would've let this comment slide and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me. What a completely insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
Great advice from everyone else already: just keep doing what you're doing. Be consistent. It will pay off.
Yeah... it was my mom who said it... She's always said snide comments about my weight. I can usually ignore them but this time it hurt because I HAVE lost weight but it's not showing yet because I'm purposely going slow.
Do you and your husband have exactly the same amount of weight to lose?
Actually, yes (I didn't realize this until just now hahaha)
Which is how much? Losing 20lbs in a month is far too fast unless you have over 100lbs to lose.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
This is BEYOND unacceptable! There's no way I would've let this comment slide and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me. What a completely insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
Great advice from everyone else already: just keep doing what you're doing. Be consistent. It will pay off.
Yeah... it was my mom who said it... She's always said snide comments about my weight. I can usually ignore them but this time it hurt because I HAVE lost weight but it's not showing yet because I'm purposely going slow.
Do you and your husband have exactly the same amount of weight to lose?
Actually, yes (I didn't realize this until just now hahaha)
Which is how much? Losing 20lbs in a month is far too fast unless you have over 100lbs to lose.
40 pounds. (He started at 220 I started at 190) I keep trying to tell him that! But he won't listen! And everyone telling him how good he looks isn't helping!0 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »Asher_Ethan wrote: »My husband and I have been losing weight together for a month.
I've lost 9 pounds this month (its probably more like 5 pounds, because my starting weight was right after an all inclusive vacation so I'm sure I was holding onto some water weight) and he's lost 20!
Everyone is telling him how good he looks and no one has even noticed my loss. I was even told today, "Why aren't you trying to lose weight like your husband?" Bish! I am! I'm trying to do it slowly because I want to conserve muscle and I really really really really like eating.
Ughhhhhh.
Just frustrated.
Thanks for letting me vent.
This is BEYOND unacceptable! There's no way I would've let this comment slide and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me. What a completely insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
Great advice from everyone else already: just keep doing what you're doing. Be consistent. It will pay off.
Yeah... it was my mom who said it... She's always said snide comments about my weight. I can usually ignore them but this time it hurt because I HAVE lost weight but it's not showing yet because I'm purposely going slow.
Do you and your husband have exactly the same amount of weight to lose?
Actually, yes (I didn't realize this until just now hahaha)
Which is how much? Losing 20lbs in a month is far too fast unless you have over 100lbs to lose.
40 pounds. (He started at 220 I started at 190) I keep trying to tell him that! But he won't listen! And everyone telling him how good he looks isn't helping!
He isn't keen on muscle then?
As someone said, comparrison is the thief of joy, i wouldnt worry what he's doing.
Stop talking about weight loss and then people won't have anything to comment on!0 -
It's annoying but try not to worry about it too much. Keep doing what you're doing and in the end it'll pay off. You've lost a lot of weight for just a month. My mom makes snide comments like that too lol She doesn't have a filter. 1
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I know exactly how you feel. My partner has lost 40kgs in the last 8 months and I've lost 17kgs. He had a stroke and needed to lose weight so I supported him and we have been dieting for the last 8 months. He's done fantastic so please don't get me wrong. I have joined a gym. I've got a personal trainer. I'm doing couch to 5 km. I have been so disciplined and it's killing me. Plus looking after him and my children and working. Im sure it will all be worth it. It's just really hard when others don't notice you but they notice the other half.1
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Comparing you to your husband is a bad idea. In fact, comparing yourself to anyone is a bad idea. There are so many factors that go into weight loss that it is impossible for 2 people to be the same. From differences in lean muscle, starting weight, metabolism, hormones, and just plain old genetics.. everything plays a factor. I get that people noticing him and not you at this stage of the game is frustrating, but you have to put it out of your head. Stay focused, keep doing what you are doing (which at 9lbs lost so far.. is definitely working), and it will all pay off in the end.0
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Wow, you lost 9 pounds in a month?! I only lose a half a pound a week no matter how hard I workout and watch in caloric intake. You are doing awesome, don't compare yourself to anyone else. Just keep up the good work, don't let your insecurity derail your progress...it's one day at a time.0
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A few things to bear in mind:
1) Your husband presumably had water weight to lose from your vacation, too, likely more than you did.
2) Your husband started out weighing more than you did. Twenty pounds is only 9.1% of his starting weight of 220 lbs, while 9 pounds is a full 4.7% of your starting weight of 190. So you're further ahead than you may have thought.
3) Your husband is a guy. Between their higher metabolisms and their more weight-loss friendly hormones, the weight-loss version of the battle of the sexes takes place on a steeply-sloped playing field.
4) Your husband is being a dork. By New Year's, chances are that you'll be the one who's lost 15 to 20 lbs, and he'll be back up around 220 or more. "I told you so's", like revenge, are a calorie-free dish that is most delicious when served cold.
5) Your mother. Yikes. I've thought of a hundred snappy answers you could have given her (from "We both got tapeworm on our vacation, but I guess he needs another round of the meds," to "Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners?! - ...Oh.") , but they're really just beside the point. With my mother, at least, it seems like whenever she sees her own inadequacies expressed in me, she addresses them by being as abrasive and belittling as possible.* My choices for responding to this seem to be either matricide or trying to remember that it is much more about her than it is about me. I've always chosen the second one, at least so far.
(*My mom is actually a wonderful woman who is caring and delightful the vast majority of the time. While that does mean that I've usually let my guard down by the time she's ready to slip the knife between my ribs again, any violence in our relationship is purely metaphorical.)1 -
^^great insights above! Loved the mother comments. Truly.
Here’s the thing. After your husband’s rapid weight loss, he will reach GW with unhappiness about how he looks. Then he will start lifting (if he isn’t already) and, impatient with recomp results, go to a bulk. X months of bulking later, he will start a cut, but THAT he will do slowly to preserve his hard work bulking. So by the time he is done with all of that, you will have long since reached your GW by slow and steady muscle sparing means.
1 lb/week *on average* is excellent loss. You will have up to 3 weeks of really good compliance & discipline but no scale loss, then -WHOOSH- 3 weeks worth of loss in a day or two. The math works over time, it just works in spurts. Stay with it and trust the process. Drop to 0.5 lb/wk for the last 10lb. It’s even slower, yes, but it will ease your transition to maintenance.
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