Needing to vent about my own actions & accountability!!

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Hi to everyone that is taking 5 mins to read this

Last year about this time I got my butt into gear and lost approx 20 lbs in 4 months (188 lbs to 167 lbs and lost about 12" all over), I was super ecstatic and happy with my progress, and for some reason as the weather warmed up by motivation went out the door - goodbye! gone! see. you. never.

Fast forward several months to now, I have been maintaining the same measurements and weight (which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I still have another 15 lbs to lose before I am at my goal). I saw my progress from April and realized that I am the same weight now as I was then and honestly got discouraged.

I get into moods where I am super motivated to lose weight, (ie: measuring everything I consume, tracking it, going to the gym 5x a week on my lunch break, drinking tons of water, etc) and then there are times where I say screw it and don't do any of that, and then I get upset with myself and think "if only I had stuck with it a few extra weeks, I would be one step closer to my goal".

I have a wonderful boyfriend who supports me and encourages me as much as he can, my gym is literally two blocks away from my job and home and I carry my gym bag to work with me in hopes I see it and drag my butt there, and I have a perfectly functioning food scale at home. I am literally my biggest problem and I am 100% accountable for my actions.

I know each day and week is a brand new fresh start, and sometimes I do so well until the evening then I go crazy and have a mini binge and ruin my days progress, and feel so embarrassed and guilty.

It is so frustrating, especially when I am pretty close to my goal. It is within reach and I need to smarten up or I will continue to be unhappy with myself.

Thanks for reading my rant of the day :)

Replies

  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,912 Member
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    OMG you sound exactly like me!

    At the moment i'm hanging onto a "good" motivated spell to lose a couple of kilos - by a thread but i'm hanging on!
  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
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    You've got this! Keep trudging ahead, regardless of circumstances. Perseverence and dedication are key - do at least one thing everyday to move you closer to goal.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,261 Member
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    Hmm... I lost 22 pounds 4 years ago and have managed to more or less keep it off (creeps up, get it off, creeps up, get it off). BUT, I think that ideally, I could lose another 10, maybe 15. I don't know. As they say, the closer you get to goal, the tighter your logging has to be. I have had a hard time reconciling that in my head. I just don't want to get that strict. I took another tact though. I keep fitness goals out there. It keeps me in shape, getting stronger, able to do more activities for longer periods of time, but I don't worry as much about a tight calorie goal.

    I just added strength training to my list of activities (running, hiking, lap swimming and deep water cardio class) and when the trainer heard me say 165 pounds, he was surprised. I don't look it. I'm much less focused on the number, and more focused on how my clothes feel. I haven't been a size 10 since high school, and here I am. I guess I'm suggesting maybe looking for a different goal-other than a number on the scale. I still have squishy parts, and I wish my tummy was smaller (and all other squishy parts too), but really, I guess I'm happy with how far I came, and in the process of losing the weight four years ago, I discovered activities I didn't know I'd love, that are now part of my daily life. That, to me, is more important than working to get rid of that last 15 pounds. :)
  • marydonis7
    marydonis7 Posts: 1 Member
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    I always just want to go on a food rampage and just eat and eat and eat. But I think of the guilt and regret that would immediately follow. I wait a few hours then think wow I am so glad I didn't give in!
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
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    I know each day and week is a brand new fresh start, and sometimes I do so well until the evening then I go crazy and have a mini binge and ruin my days progress, and feel so embarrassed and guilty.

    It is so frustrating, especially when I am pretty close to my goal. It is within reach and I need to smarten up or I will continue to be unhappy with myself.
    I think that this may be where you are encountering issues.

    There are no fresh starts. Each moment is a decision. Eating an extra 200 calories right now does not blow your whole day so that you might as well just keep overeating today and start anew tomorrow. If you hop right back onto your eating plan, the slight overage won't be a very big blip on the radar.

    Don't attach guilt to eating. If you overeat, treat it as a learning experience and think about how you might make a different decision next time. Keep practicing. Let go of all-or-nothing thinking. Don't go balls to the wall. Experiment to find a comfortable way of eating and amount/type of exercise that leaves you at a slight calorie deficit now and is a good way to continue once you reach your goal weight.
  • Kerriann1083
    Kerriann1083 Posts: 54 Member
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    I can really relate to this!!๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘I will get so far and then just stop...so I have been trying to keep myself really motivated... I know it might sound dumd but I will follow people on YouTube and watch there weight loss journey and to see where they started and where there at gives me hope and keeps me going.. that's one thing I do to stay motivated..and other apps like Instagram and Facebook support groups are awesome too... Hang one.. you got this !!๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŒผ๐Ÿ˜€โœŒ๏ธ
  • bdgfn
    bdgfn Posts: 7,719 Member
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    You sound very much like a very good friend of mine. I know it can be difficult, and I totally understand being frustrated and upset with yourself. And yes, it is completely up to you whether or not you can knuckle down and drop those last 15 pounds, and then, even more importantly, maintain that loss. Reading your post, I am certain you can do this. Wishing you all the best.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,466 Member
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    The gym is vastly overrated as a weight loss strategy. Put your focus on your food diary.

    A food diary is a thing to do. The only way to not do it, is to make a conscious decision not to. Forget? Go back and fill it in best you can. Donโ€™t know how many calories in that meal or dish? Make a good faith estimate.

    And going over your number is not a reason to abandon your diary. Keeping your diary going can keep 200 extra calories from becoming 500 extra. Log everything, good, bad or ugly.

    Are you avoiding the gym because your workout is too demanding? Ramp it down a bit and see if the gym becomes more appealing. Are you snacking at night because you calorie target is too low? The best plan is one you will actually follow.

    Making plans that we donโ€™t follow is demoralizing. If you added a few more calories, but still in a deficit, would it help you stay with your plan? This is where patience comes in.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    I guess I'd sit back and re-evaluate. You need to do something that's sustainable for the long term. Can you keep going to the gym 5x a week for the rest of your life? Focus on your diet and change things up with your exercising. Is there something you've always wanted to try? As we lose weight our lives and weight loss change. It's better to be flexible--there's more than one way to skin a cat (apologies to cat lovers).