Weight Loss for Kids
swirlybee
Posts: 497 Member
My son is 8 years old and at his last annual checkup, the doctor told me that he's obese (95th percentile for weight) and needs to lose weight. At the time, I didn't really take it too seriously. He's always been a skinny kid (50th percentile for weight) and my husband and I just figured that he'll grow into his weight.
After much prodding, we find out he's eating a full meal after school (at daycare) and of course dinner at home. He's been told not to eat so much at daycare. The lady at the daycare feels bad that our fee technically includes a meal, so she feels obligated to feed him.
We want to set a good example for him and his 5 year old sister. We eat healthy, which for us, means a well-balanced meal that has plenty of veggies. I pack his lunch for him, but once a week he eats pizza at the school cafeteria. I know that he'll sometimes trade the fruits that I pack for him. The school does a pretty good job of teaching the kids about good nutrition.
He's active. He does judo three days a week and likes to play outside with the neighborhood kids. We limit screen time (tv, ipad, video games) but he's a bookworm and sometimes he'd rather read than play outside during recess.
He competes in judo and has won several medals, despite having to compete with taller/older kids. His coach/teacher wants to compete in the winter nationals in December and pointed out the weight divisions and hinted at my son needing to lose weight. He's been competing in the heavy weight division. He needs to lose 2 pounds to compete in the middle weight division but his BMI would still be overweight. If he lost 10 pounds, that would put him in the healthy weight category but is 10 pounds in 2 months too much?
Everything I've read so far says to get kids more active and to eat more nutritiously. I found a brief reference to how much calories an 8-year old boy should be eating. The consensus on MFP is CI<CO and that diet is more important for weight loss than exercise, but that's for adults.
Any advice on how my son should lose the weight and how quickly he should lose that weight?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.
After much prodding, we find out he's eating a full meal after school (at daycare) and of course dinner at home. He's been told not to eat so much at daycare. The lady at the daycare feels bad that our fee technically includes a meal, so she feels obligated to feed him.
We want to set a good example for him and his 5 year old sister. We eat healthy, which for us, means a well-balanced meal that has plenty of veggies. I pack his lunch for him, but once a week he eats pizza at the school cafeteria. I know that he'll sometimes trade the fruits that I pack for him. The school does a pretty good job of teaching the kids about good nutrition.
He's active. He does judo three days a week and likes to play outside with the neighborhood kids. We limit screen time (tv, ipad, video games) but he's a bookworm and sometimes he'd rather read than play outside during recess.
He competes in judo and has won several medals, despite having to compete with taller/older kids. His coach/teacher wants to compete in the winter nationals in December and pointed out the weight divisions and hinted at my son needing to lose weight. He's been competing in the heavy weight division. He needs to lose 2 pounds to compete in the middle weight division but his BMI would still be overweight. If he lost 10 pounds, that would put him in the healthy weight category but is 10 pounds in 2 months too much?
Everything I've read so far says to get kids more active and to eat more nutritiously. I found a brief reference to how much calories an 8-year old boy should be eating. The consensus on MFP is CI<CO and that diet is more important for weight loss than exercise, but that's for adults.
Any advice on how my son should lose the weight and how quickly he should lose that weight?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.
1
Replies
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You need to ask his doctor these questions, or ask for a referral to a specialist who can recommend next steps. That said, a couple thoughts.
Can you ask the lady at daycare to not feed him a full meal, and instead pack a healthy snack for him for daycare (or ask that she provide a smaller snack for him)? I'm sure if you explain that you're worried about his health she would be willing to accommodate.
Other ways I've found to keep my son active (although he's a string bean - somehow he doesn't generally crave sweets and his favorite snack is carrot sticks, I think I got lucky here) include going for walks as a family in the evenings, and having a nightly "dance party" in the living room to get the sillies out before bed.
In my opinion, 10 pounds in 2 months is overly ambitious when we're talking about an 8 year old (heck, I worry that I'm losing too fast if I lose 10 pounds in 2 months). Creating a deficit of more than ~500 kcal per day to lose more than 1 lb a week seems crazy restrictive in a growing child. My two cents, and I'm definitely NOT a medical professional, so please seek professional guidance!12 -
If he gets a free evening meal at day care then just don't give him tea?15
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TavistockToad wrote: »If he gets a free evening meal at day care then just don't give him tea?
It is supposed to be just a snack but my son can be pretty convincing and knows how to turn on the charm to get more food. We've already talked with the daycare lady and I think we'll just have to keep reminding her. I don't want him skipping dinner at home because I think it's important for the family unit to sit and eat together for dinner.Can you ask the lady at daycare to not feed him a full meal, and instead pack a healthy snack for him for daycare (or ask that she provide a smaller snack for him)? I'm sure if you explain that you're worried about his health she would be willing to accommodate.
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I don't know. How tall is your son? My 9 year old son is currently 4'11 1/2 and weighs 97lbs. He's technically overweight. As he been about 96/97 lbs for the past year so it was worse before his height increase. But, if he gains 1/2 in ( 5ft), he's back to normal! He has always been very tall (98th) but just this past year his weight caught up to him. We don't really worry much about it. I don't put him on diets but I do limit sugary/processed snacks to once a day and all other snacks need to be fruit, vegetables, string cheese, etc... Boys eat and they eat a lot. I do not know how many times I have been told this as a mother of a son. I also encourage my son to move more. Looking at my kid you would think he looks normal because of his height. He's going to be a big guy as my husband is 6'4 and 220 and both of our families are tall. I feel as though as long as I don't let it get out of control (the weight), he keeps busy, and I moderate the snacking, it will all even out in the end.
Maybe ask the daycare to only offer a snack after school and then you do dinner or since you know he is eating double, decrease your meal for him or don't offer it. Maybe he doesn't eat much lunch so he gets really hungry.2 -
hypothyroidism? At that age, if active and having the right foods, most don't gain that much. Do you know what the daycare is serving?
I think I would push the Doctor to run more tests.23 -
ACanadian22 wrote: »hypothyroidism? At that age, if active and having the right foods, most don't gain that much. Do you know what the daycare is serving?
I think I would push the Doctor to run more tests.
I don't know what you're basing this on. Childhood obesity is a real issue, it doesn't require an underlying medical problem to trigger it . . . just a child eating more calories than they're using (just like with adults). This child is eating one additional meal a day, even with activity that's going to be difficult to off-set.19 -
Is the medical advice given with all this information to put things into perspective? Is this advice taking the full account of information including body composition? ...or is it just given based upon numbers on a chart based on age/height/weight?
Growing takes a remarkable amount of calories, which is why sites such as MFP set a lower age limit. I've had my 10 yr old son in the metabolic chamber and his BMR is closer to mine at 6'4" 220 lbs.
Maybe increase his activity and reduce calories by a bit, but don't do anything drastic. Having him drink 30 minutes prior to meal time will help manage appetite and keep him hydrated.
We're having a similar issue with our 8 yr old daughter, but just making her aware of what calories are and how to manage them effectively. Giving her the responsibility to make the best choices for herself.2 -
I also wanted to add about 8 was when my son gained about 15 lbs in a year also. There is absolutely nothing medically wrong with him.1
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janejellyroll wrote: »ACanadian22 wrote: »hypothyroidism? At that age, if active and having the right foods, most don't gain that much. Do you know what the daycare is serving?
I think I would push the Doctor to run more tests.
I don't know what you're basing this on. Childhood obesity is a real issue, it doesn't require an underlying medical problem to trigger it . . . just a child eating more calories than they're using (just like with adults). This child is eating one additional meal a day, even with activity that's going to be difficult to off-set.
All I know is back when we all were kids, we ate anytime, anywhere and no weight issues. I am basing it on the fact that I do have two active boys who eat all the time and are in fact, underweight. Their calorie intake is crazy high and usually is at that age. I just want her to look into all areas.
Sorry if I offended you15 -
ACanadian22 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »ACanadian22 wrote: »hypothyroidism? At that age, if active and having the right foods, most don't gain that much. Do you know what the daycare is serving?
I think I would push the Doctor to run more tests.
I don't know what you're basing this on. Childhood obesity is a real issue, it doesn't require an underlying medical problem to trigger it . . . just a child eating more calories than they're using (just like with adults). This child is eating one additional meal a day, even with activity that's going to be difficult to off-set.
All I know is back when we all were kids, we ate anytime, anywhere and no weight issues. I am basing it on the fact that I do have two active boys who eat all the time and are in fact, underweight. Their calorie intake is crazy high and usually is at that age. I just want her to look into all areas.
Sorry if I offended you
If your theory that a child eating one extra meal a day has gained weight due to medical problems is simply based on your own childhood experience and that of your sons and none of you gained weight due to medical problems, then I don't think you have anything to support that theory.
I'm not offended, I just don't think it makes sense to jump to this when we have a good indication from OP that he has simply put on some weight due to eating more. I'm disagreeing with you due to what we currently know about the situation, not because I took offense to anything you said. I'm not even sure *how* someone could be offended by what you said.19 -
Is the medical advice given with all this information to put things into perspective? Is this advice taking the full account of information including body composition? ...or is it just given based upon numbers on a chart based on age/height/weight?
Well, I think he was just looking at a chart but my son has been with this pediatrician since day 1. In terms of body composition, I wouldn't classify my son as being husky but I'm having to get him husky clothes.
I don't think it's hyperthyroidism. I think he really is eating more than he should.
I've heard that from a few friends/coworkers. It's just a little disconcerting when looking at a BMI chart and it says my son is obese. I know BMI has its flaws but it seems appropriate for his height. My son is one of the shortest kids in his grade but definitely weighs more than a lot of the other kids.I also wanted to add about 8 was when my son gained about 15 lbs in a year also.2 -
Speaking as someone with hypothyroidism I sincerely doubt this is the issue. This has almost no impact on metabolism.
Keep it simple at this point. Increase activity and reduce his caloric intake a bit. Find out what foods really keep him satiated and stick with those. For me this is oatmeal, eggs, and chicken, but everyone is different.8 -
As the daycare lady feels she should provide a meal, why not suggest that this just consists of a selection of vegetables / a vegetarian dish or some salad (with no dressing) plus some fruit? Then, when he eats with your family a little later, you serve him much smaller portions knowing that he's already eaten something.
Alternatively, can you negotiate the fees so that a full meal isn't included at daycare?
From what you said initially, he needs to lose 2 pound to compete as middleweight. That should be more than do-able by December without any drastic changes. The other 8 pounds, to get him into normal BMI, can be done over a slightly longer period of time. He doesn't have to lose all 10 pounds by Christmas.2 -
Speaking as someone with hypothyroidism I sincerely doubt this is the issue. This has almost no impact on metabolism.
Keep it simple at this point. Increase activity and reduce his caloric intake a bit. Find out what foods really keep him satiated and stick with those. For me this is oatmeal, eggs, and chicken, but everyone is different.
Agreed -- also said as someone who was diagnosed as hypothyroid at that age. My weight never went to obese levels -- I was simply on the heavier side for a child of that age and height, compounded by the fact that I was gaining weight, but not height. And there were plenty of other symptoms along with it.1 -
I feel you. I have an almost 10 year old pudgy ballerina - yeeouch! Surrounded by skinny girls in leotards 5 hours a week. Her pediatrician thinks she's just gearing up for a growth spurt + puberty, but given how awful, how traumatic, how thoroughly bad it has been in my life to have gotten fat, it's very hard to just watch and wait and listen to her doctor. Especially since she has a medication known to cause weight gain, that has to be taken with food twice a day on a strict schedule, so I actually have to insist that she eat when she isn't hungry, some times! Kids are a daunting responsibility.
I agree with you that probably the fight to have is the after school snack/meal. Maybe you could get his judo coach to give him a sports nutrition/competition training talk and get your son excited about a fitness goal because it's part of the sport that he loves? And if it fits in your life, I've been surprised by how lovely taking evening walks in the neighborhood with my kid is - a lovely way to wind down the day, and a little extra movement too.5 -
i would talk to a non threatening nutrionist (ins covers usually) and a coach...my kids had a swim coach and a taek won do master and going to these two things was not optional...until they were mid teens.3
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My son is 14 and was almost 270 lbs at 5'8". He developed diabetic symptoms (rinsed in the family). I took him to a doctor and dietitian.
He was not put on diet, just given sensible lifestyle suggestions like portion control, staying active (he plays basketball), reduced TV/ gaming/ computer time. He was eating breakfast at home and at school, snacks after school, lunch at home and at school, and dinner. Way too much food. He had to choose which meals he wanted where and not double up. So far in a month it's working.
I feel you should get his pediatrician and a dietitian involved. He's still growing and still needs a healthy approach tailored to his health needs and lifestyle.
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My son was always very skinny and then right before middle school he gained weight and I would say he was husky. Several of my friends commented on his weight and he felt very uncomfortable and would call himself fat. Our doctor said there was nothing to worry about and that its very common for kids to gain weight before growing taller. By the time my son was 16 he was over 6' tall and a healthy weight. I would say he was "husky" for 2-3 years. He was the same weight/height through middle school and then shot up in high school.
He is 23 now and refers to those years as his chubby years and it still breaks my heart. Those were tough years for me too as I constantly had to tell "friends" to shut up and not comment on his weight.
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You need to talk to the pediatrician and hopefully a nutritionist (preferably one with experience in children). I don't think losing weight will be that bad, 1 lbs a week is 8lbs in 2 months...which is doable, but not fun. You have the nutritional requirements for a growing kid to consider as you're cutting back calories that you can't control during the day, so lots to juggle in this case.
You kids seems to be mentally ok, no problems with school or friends, physically active, at least somewhat. I think cutting sweets down (not out, esp at Halloween and Thanksgiving is just cruel) and upping his activity level somehow is the best approach. You got room for a punching bag or training dummy for him at home? 30-60 min every day working on kicks and punches should burn at least 100-200 calories a session. If you can then cut out a canned soda and a daily donut (300+ more calories right there), you got about 500 calories a day now, or one pound a week.4 -
I'd be very cautious about how you bring all of this up with him. The wrong impression (that the emphasis is on "don't be fat" as opposed to "be healthy") could form some very bad habits in the future. I myself gained 20 lbs. in a year right before puberty hit, so I honestly don't think it's anything abnormal. In my experience the worst part was the adults around me harping on the importance of the number on the scale and changing my habits before I got "as big as a house", which never happened, but what DID happen was the start of a lifelong struggle with Bulimia. So, please just be careful.18
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ACanadian22 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »ACanadian22 wrote: »hypothyroidism? At that age, if active and having the right foods, most don't gain that much. Do you know what the daycare is serving?
I think I would push the Doctor to run more tests.
I don't know what you're basing this on. Childhood obesity is a real issue, it doesn't require an underlying medical problem to trigger it . . . just a child eating more calories than they're using (just like with adults). This child is eating one additional meal a day, even with activity that's going to be difficult to off-set.
All I know is back when we all were kids, we ate anytime, anywhere and no weight issues. I am basing it on the fact that I do have two active boys who eat all the time and are in fact, underweight. Their calorie intake is crazy high and usually is at that age. I just want her to look into all areas.
Sorry if I offended you
Your heart was in the right place, when I was 10 I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease but I don't think that is very common (even less so in males? ) . Despite me having hashimotos hypothyroid i'd have to agree with the other posters.... I have never been obese even with the disease. I did gain weight while it went untreated but there were various other telling signs (major hair loss, cold feeling, depression) , and the weight gain was just from inactivity because I didn't feel well and over eating.
The boy is getting an extra dinner every day it sounds like, even with a growing active kid that is more likely the culprit. That is a tricky situation because if all the other kids are eating dinner and he isn't allowed........ vs. he comes home and the family eats dinner together and he isn't allowed. It almost sounds like a change in daycare may be in his best interests... one that doesn't serve dinner or at least would respect your concerns.6 -
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Something similar just happened to my friend's son. For the record, his son looks completely normal. No excess stomach wiggle, no fat rolls, absolutely nothing but a very small stomach pudge that still looks like a bit of baby fat. His son is 6, plays sports, has no problem running/jumping/swimming.
He decided to just wait it out for a year and then reassess. He is still buying normal boys 6-8 clothes and sees no reason to restrict the calories of a healthy child. He started noticing that his son was growing more - a little more in the shoulders, a little wider (not rounder) waist, his feet grew a size too, and he is betting he'll sprout taller in the next year.
Consider the body composition of your child because if he is starting to thicken up without getting rolls and a lot of jiggle, he might just be preparing for a growth spurt. I'd track his height, not his weight, and see if that starts changing. And in the meantime, reduce his portion at dinner if needed. If be already ate 1 dinner, he might not actually be that hungry and is just eating because you're telling him to.3 -
My son is 8 years old and at his last annual checkup, the doctor told me that he's obese (95th percentile for weight) and needs to lose weight. At the time, I didn't really take it too seriously. He's always been a skinny kid (50th percentile for weight) and my husband and I just figured that he'll grow into his weight.
After much prodding, we find out he's eating a full meal after school (at daycare) and of course dinner at home. He's been told not to eat so much at daycare. The lady at the daycare feels bad that our fee technically includes a meal, so she feels obligated to feed him.
We want to set a good example for him and his 5 year old sister. We eat healthy, which for us, means a well-balanced meal that has plenty of veggies. I pack his lunch for him, but once a week he eats pizza at the school cafeteria. I know that he'll sometimes trade the fruits that I pack for him. The school does a pretty good job of teaching the kids about good nutrition.
He's active. He does judo three days a week and likes to play outside with the neighborhood kids. We limit screen time (tv, ipad, video games) but he's a bookworm and sometimes he'd rather read than play outside during recess.
He competes in judo and has won several medals, despite having to compete with taller/older kids. His coach/teacher wants to compete in the winter nationals in December and pointed out the weight divisions and hinted at my son needing to lose weight. He's been competing in the heavy weight division. He needs to lose 2 pounds to compete in the middle weight division but his BMI would still be overweight. If he lost 10 pounds, that would put him in the healthy weight category but is 10 pounds in 2 months too much?
Everything I've read so far says to get kids more active and to eat more nutritiously. I found a brief reference to how much calories an 8-year old boy should be eating. The consensus on MFP is CI<CO and that diet is more important for weight loss than exercise, but that's for adults.
Any advice on how my son should lose the weight and how quickly he should lose that weight?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.
Temporarily eliminate all fruit juice and soda. Limit drinks to 2% milk, water, (and tea if you're British).
No candy, sweets or sugary items after 6pm. Tell him it will make it easier for him to go to sleep at night (it will).
Playground 1hour per day of unstructured play.
Reintroduce juice when he's slimmed down a bit.
It's the easiest way to go and so very effective for kids.
Since the dinner you cook is essentially his 4th meal, just make it lighter than usual. Your usual meat and veggies, but maybe a side of baked potato instead of mac n cheese, that sort of thing.
The key with kids is to keep it simple.
Don't even mention his weight. Just don't have juice and sweets in the house, and enjoy the time at the playground with him. If it's too cold/rainy, look for an open gym situation near you. The key is to keep the extra exercise unstructured, so it's play, not a chore.
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What about getting. Second opinion from another pediatrician?
Yes, childhood obesity is a problem. But if I understand everything correctly, the eight-year-old isn’t even overweight, let alone obese. I’m really concerned about the long-term mental health of an eight-year-old needing to restrict what they eat.
Definitely work with daycare lady on the intake, or maybe modify your dinner instead. It will likely be easier on your son if he’s not eating different food in front of his peers. And that way you get the value out of daycare.4 -
He sounds like an active kid and it sounds like you're doing a good job to let him run around and be a kid. There's no worries there. Judo is an excellent sport for burning calories (and is combined cardio and strength training) so keep at it. As a judo coach I can agree that if he's good, getting into a weight category that is more fitting for his size may be very beneficial for his competitive nature (heck, when I was competing lots, I performed much better at a lower weight category; people didn't tower over me so much). Seriously, it doesn't sound like activity is your problem. You've identified your problem and it's that extra meal that he's eating.
- Make it easy on yourself, reduce the portions for every meal, not just dinner, breakfast and lunch too. That way it won't be an obvious massive change of meal sizes for one meal.
- Ask your daycare lady to reduce the quantity that she's feeding him, if she still want to feed him, fine, annoying, but fine. But get her to reduce the amount.
- Reduce the amount of calories he could be getting from snacks or liquid calories (fruit juices & soda for example)
- Don't make a fuss of it, don't obviously change anything. Little changes here and there, and you don't need to give a reason.
- As he's growing, he'll need lots of calories, right now he's eating more calories than he needs, so all you need to do is just slightly reduce the amount of calories he's currently eating and then keep it at the same level for a while as he grows.
- It might be easier to take a longer view of this. Instead of thinking about getting him to lose weight, try and keep him the same weight. As he grows you'd expect him to put weight on, so if you feed him calories so that he stays the same weight, but grows up, then he'll slender out with growth. And, as far as he's concerned he's not lost weight, he's just grown into it.6 -
TavistockToad wrote: »If he gets a free evening meal at day care then just don't give him tea?
^^ this would be my answer too.0 -
Maybe look at how much hidden sugar he and the rest of the family are consuming and also looking at what kind of meal he is getting at daycare?
Maybe look to reduce foods high in saturated fats, simple carbs and sugar overall and that will help?17 -
Maybe look at how much hidden sugar he and the rest of the family are consuming and also looking at what kind of meal he is getting at daycare?
Maybe look to reduce foods high in saturated fats, simple carbs and sugar overall and that will help?
so you think he's eating too much 'hidden sugar' and its not that he is eating two meals in the evening? :huh:10 -
I would take your son to see a dietitian. They are much better than doctors when it comes to nutrition and how to lose weight. A dietitian will advise you about how to handle it all.3
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