Feel like giving up

hemlock91

I have gained over 50 lbs over the past 5 years. I used to be around 125. Today I stood on the scale on an empty stomach and was at 179. I wish I could say it was due to pregnancy or something like that. But it is just because I have lost control over my eating and live a sedentary lifestyle. I don't like leaving the house anymore because of my weight. I have started working from home so I don't need to leave the house. I also only wear sweatpants now and never dress up because I feel hopeless about my appearance.

73CL350

In order to give good advice ... are you Male or female and how tall are you?

Only you can decide if you want to change. Once the decision is made ... only you can keep deciding every day to keep doing it.

If you've been eating unhealthy and gaining weight for 5 years ... it's going to take a full year to reverse the damage you've done. Go into this mission informed that it takes a looooong time to lose weight.

pinuplove

Isn't giving up (or just not trying) what got you here? You can change this

My story: I joined MFP in 2011 at 205 but didn't seriously lose weight until 2012. In early 2013 I reached my goal weight and then some, at 137. Got a sedentary job, more stress, dessert tastes good, yadda yadda yadda. January 2017 I was back up to 185. Mother *kitten*!! Buckle down, do it again. It's not as if I'm unfamiliar with how this works. Today I'm back down to 140. It's easy to gain if you're not paying attention. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're far from the only one!

countcurt

OK. You posted here. Which means you haven't quite given up. So, tell us, what are you hoping for from this thread. Most of us can be much more helpful if we have some basic information (based on the pregnancy comment, I'm inferring female) about you and some idea of what you want back from us.

hemlock91

I am 27, female, and 5'1

cathipa

What would giving up accomplish? You are young and have so much life left that stopping now won't fix anything. Sounds like you have figured out what has gotten you to where you are now so why not change it. Improve your diet and activity.
Also given some key words in your initial statement I would also consider counseling/therapy to help with what sounds like depression.

karenvandam

I also started my weight loss journey (this time) at 179. Let's be honest, that may be pretty heavy depending on your height, but it's not the end of the world. Lots of folks are way heavier than that. You probably only have 20-40 lbs to lose to be healthy. Look at all the people who manage to lose 100+ lbs! If they can do it, you certainly can, too. Don't beat yourself up about the past - it won't help. Stay focused on your health (mental and physical).

It sounds like being house-bound is creating a downward spiral for you. You feel too fat to leave the house, so you don't get out and exercise, so you stay home and eat. In turn you feel isolated and hopeless (i.e. depressed). You may need to break that cycle. Maybe catch some of your co-workers face-to-face for lunch or happy hour. Or connect with a meet-up group that interests you. Something that gets you dressed and out. At the very least, get outside for a walk every day. Get some fresh air and get the blood circulating. It might do wonders for your outlook!

I hope you find a way to feel better!

73CL350

Fundamental: The idea that exercise is integral to weight loss is missguided. Just put less stuff in your mouth. you WILL lose weight. controlling what you eat is 100% of the solution to weighing less. they key to controlling what you eat starts by KNOWING what you eat. buy a food scale ... don't even change your eating habits for a week, just start weighing every single item that goes in your mouth.

now, looking better, feeling better, etc ... that's where exercise helps. but it has to start somewhere. start by eating less.

as for motivation... unpopular opinion warning: I rely heavily on self loathing. when i am hungry i tell myself that this is punishment for my past bad behavior of eating too much. i get angry at my past self and it motivates me to NOT be that person anymore. only through willful BAD actions will i gain weight. putting too much food in my mouth. if i do nothing ... if i lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for a week because my depression is too much ... i will lose weight. so through total INACTION weight loss happens. and through a choice to perform a BAD action that weight gain happens. I'm not sure where MFP's policy's come down on this, I'm just giving you what works in my own head form my own personal experience. Some people love themselves and it motivates them. i don't think that way. i pay a punishment of hunger for having been a sloth ... and eventually will pay my debt back and will be able to eat maintenance calories.

it's a complete fallacy to say "i didn't work out so i gained weight".

emmamcgarity

I am 5’1” and my start weight was in the 170s. I’ve lost more than 20 lbs so far. For me the key is logging my food. Even when I eat over my calorie goal. Log it all. Just keep logging.

cstein71

I will admit, I'm no expert at this. I have been up and down on the scale more times than I can count...this time I was up to 188lbs and am 5'2". But now I am 56 and have developed high blood pressure. Due to life stress, I took solice in eating and not paying attention. I stopped exercising and had a daily routine of starting my day at the McDonalds drive thru. I was killing myself. I felt terrible, sore knees, out of breath, tired all the time. Hated how I looked and felt in all of my clothes...didn't have the courage (or anything to wear) to go to the gym so I started walking. Did more everyday and picked up my pace to 3.5 miles per hour. I also started swimming in my subdivision pool early in the morning when no one was there to see me. It got me started...you just have to get started. Don't expect to much to soon and celebrate every little success. Also, honestly logging your food, does really help and the support here on MFP is great...even on my vacation week, I did not always log and knew I wasn't eating well, but logging on helped me to "come back" and not give up. Don't beat yourself up..you can do this and after a few weeks and even a few lbs, you will feel better...you can do this even though it may not always be as fast as you would like. I am now back at it for the last 2.5 months and have lost 18 lbs. I still have at least 30 lbs to go but already feel so much better. Lets do it together. We are here for you!

UnixGuru

Let me tell you my journey. 3/19/2017, I weighed 345 pounds. Last week I am down to 257. I have had 2 lumbar spinal fusions (12/6/17 & 3/26/18) and I am struggling to recover from that. I can’t sit for very long do I work from home reclining in bed. When I walk, its with a rollator (walker with wheels & a seat) and I struggle to walk a 1/2 mile round trip. So how do I do it? Careful eating, logging my food here in MFP, and understanding that it’s a long journey to get to where I want to be (I still have about 30 to 40 pounds to go).

Don’t beat yourself up for being overweight. If we lived next door to each otht, I’d be proud to walk with you.

The secrets? Small steps. Work on changing the food intake to healthy foods at the right amounts. If you’re embarrassed to be seen outside, walk back and forth in your house, or go walking after dark, early in the morning on less traveled walking paths/streets. I am not embarrassed about having to push a rollator. If someone laughs at me, I laugh back because I know how hard I have to work to do what I do. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you, you are a beautiful person inside where it counts.

Stick with it and don’t give up. If I can do it, anyone can.

Kimmotion5783

Hemlock91, I completely understand how you feel! That used to be me. Before I started my weight loss journey, I was 355 pounds, obese, depressed, and rarely ever went out to do anything except maybe get takeout/fast food/ junk food. Then one day I was down to my last pair of pants so I headed into the local plus size clothing store only to discover that I had gone up TWO sizes in a matter of months! So I went home that night and decided I was going to make a change. Did it all on my own, started with home workout beginner yoga videos on YouTube and ate healthy foods. Now it's two years later and I've lost 125 pounds.

This can be you, too. You can do this! You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you! Please don't give up. Weight loss is hard, sure. But it's not impossible. The fact that you're on MFP and making the effort puts you way ahead of all those who aren't even trying. You're trying to live a healthy lifestyle and for that, give yourself some credit. Don't be so hard on yourself and give yourself some love- you deserve it!

LeannJeffers

My story: I joined MFP in 2012 at 209 (5'9") but didn't seriously lose weight until 2013, by Summer of 2013 I was at 160 and wanted to lose 5 more but was content to be at 160. Got a desk job, company potlucks, lunch dates with friends and couldn't say no to sweets. October 2014 I had gained 10 back and by the summer of 2018 I was up 20 lbs. (Mother *kitten*!!) Buckle down, do it again. It's not as if I'm unfamiliar with how this works. I am back on the wagon. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're far from the only one!

Snowflake1968

I am 5'5" and just turned 50 years old in September. The first time I realized I needed to lose weight was probably around 2000 I weighed 160 lbs. I didn't do anything about it. In 2006 I finally did something after getting up to around 180, lost around 20-25 pounds, started feeling good about myself then changed positions at work and gained it all back. Move forward to 2009, started again around 180. I quit smoking and was petrified I would gain more than I currently weighed so bought a Wii and started working out. Lost again this time 25-30 pounds. I got depressed, marital issues, empty nest, just life in general. Gained back up to 199 by April of 2012. Was going to be going to see my Dad for the first time in 3 years, he was quite judgemental about people's weight so I was determined he wouldn't be able to judge me. Got down to 168 lbs by November. As I lost I got rid of all clothes that became too big and all clothes except pajamas that had elastic waists. I wasn't going back there again.
Then I was called home because my Dad was so ill. He passed in December. Deep depression, still having marital problems until this past February I found myself at 202 pounds. I couldn't do this anymore. I had been unemployed since August 2017 and had been living in pajamas. I got a job and realized I had no clothes that didn't feel like they were cutting me in half. I realized I needed to get back at it. Today I am around 180, I am hoping the slow speed this time and making more subtle changes that I can live with long term is the key. Good luck to you. If you want advice my first suggestion would be to throw out the sweatpants, that really helped me a lot.

73CL350

Sad that the OP hasn't even logged in since this was posted : (

cathipa

73CL350 wrote: »

Sad that the OP hasn't even logged in since this was posted : (

Guess she gave up:(

belladamjc

hemlock91 wrote: »

I have lost control over my eating

If you're being really honest with yourself, you'll realise that you are in control of your eating. You're choosing to buy, cook, chew and swallow foods that you know will cause weight gain. Partly because it tastes good, you feel better when you're eating something, you're just hungry and want food in your stomach etc. This isn't anything to feel bad about, it's just how you lived.

It sounds simple, but all you have to do is decide to eat slightly differently. The initial decision to make the change has to come from you and the ongoing commitment can be a struggle like changing any habits, but MFP and the community can help in this and you know you will be healthier and feel better about yourself as a result.

There will be a host of questions and fears you have which may need addressing in order to make you feel you can make the decision to change and have some chance of success. Many of us have been where you are and understand (and sometimes continue to battle with) the challenges ahead and they can be overcome.

elsie6hickman

I wonder if this person realized that so many of us were in the same boat, but made the commitment to a healthy lifestyle? Even if I never drop another pound, I am grateful that I changed my life and am now much, much healthier.