I binge when I get angry

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  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
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    You're half way there - you've identified both the cause and the response.

    The next step is changing the response. It's not easy and takes time, discipline, and forgiveness... but it works.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,951 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    "Anger is the result of unmet expectations."

    The first time I heard that phrase it really resonated with me. My anger does come when my expectations are not met. So, the question is, are my expectations reasonable? Sometimes they are not. I cannot expect that no one will ever get in front of me on the road and go slower than I would like. Sometimes they are reasonable, like when I've worked all day and hubby hasn't, it's reasonable to expect he will have started dinner when I get home.

    What expectations do you have of your mother-in-law? Are those expectations reasonable? Start dissecting these questions, drill down, figure out the answers. It may take outside help (counseling or a life coach). Then figure out how to change your response.

    Very insightful. My relationship with my father improved dramatically after I changed my expectations of him.
  • FarmerCarla
    FarmerCarla Posts: 470 Member
    edited October 2018
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    Whether you're a Christian or not, the Bible provides some great advice I practice when my thoughts turn south: “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8) We each have the power to turn our minds, our thoughts, in a different direction. God has given us additional assurance: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) We have power over our minds and bodies, we have the ability to love the unlovely people in our lives, and, the older I get, the more I treasure that "sound mind."
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    "Anger is the result of unmet expectations."

    The first time I heard that phrase it really resonated with me. My anger does come when my expectations are not met. So, the question is, are my expectations reasonable? Sometimes they are not. I cannot expect that no one will ever get in front of me on the road and go slower than I would like. Sometimes they are reasonable, like when I've worked all day and hubby hasn't, it's reasonable to expect he will have started dinner when I get home.

    What expectations do you have of your mother-in-law? Are those expectations reasonable? Start dissecting these questions, drill down, figure out the answers. It may take outside help (counseling or a life coach). Then figure out how to change your response.

    Oooh, i like that!

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