(Fit) Life After Children

JustinAnimal

Well, almost four years after our first child and here I find myself still wanting to lose weight... weight I've even lost once or twice in those four years, yet sadly found again.

We had a second child (almost one year now), so I'm sure I've been using that as an excuse to stay fat. However, and true as that may be, life feels like non-stop stress. Without detailing the parents dilemma, our lives ARE basically non-stop. Wifey and I barely get to see each other. The kids are at ages where they are entirely demanding of our attention and they both seem to yell at us a fair bit (it's hard to scold the baby... we're working on the older one). It's stress time all the time, and our most relaxing time of day seems to be when we're at work... which doesn't feel right at all.

All that to say, all of our attempts to stop drinking (even just during the week) have crashed and burned. We all know what drinking leads to... snacking and more drinking. And I don't mean we've tried half-way once or twice... I mean we've tried a lot of different things in the way of motivation, getting ourselves pumped, tricking ourselves, dangling carrots, etc.

Without going into tremendous detail about my personal story, I'd just like to ask parents how long it took them to get back into the shape they wanted.

Faebert

I started trying to lose weight and get fit shortly after my younger child turned 2.

I think it was a combination of factors that made it the right time. Firstly I knew I didn’t want any more children - with my older child I kind of let myself off because I knew I wanted another and didn’t want a big gap in age between them so didn’t bother too much to lose the baby weight. Secondly my older daughter had started school and lots of the other mums were slimmer and I didn’t want to be the fat and unfit parent on the school run.

And last, but most importantly, i was finally in enough of a routine with the kids that I could find the mental and physical energy to work on my own health. Having them in consistent sleep patterns meant I could get up early enough to work out/ meal prep etc. I got really organised - it is the only way with small children! And once I was in the habit I felt better and was determined to carry on. I managed to do so even after the unexpected break-up of my marriage, which is about as stressful as it gets.

They are now 7 and 9 and I raise them alone. I work out most mornings while they are asleep, I do online grocery shopping and then batch cook and freeze lots of meals for them and for me. I make sure we all go out together for walks/jogs/cycle rides during some of our free time. I don’t really drink so I can’t offer any advice there but it sounds as though you’ve recognised it is a problem so maybe that’s a good place to start?

The truth is that it will be hectic and tiring and occasionally annoying for a long time yet - your children are still very young. So you really have to find a way to make it happen under those circumstances, rather than wait for the circumstances to change, if that makes any sense?

Life is stressful and we can’t always control that - but we can work on our responses to that stress.

Good luck!

elisa123gal

You kids are small...so that works in your favor.. you and wifey have total control over your home.

I'm an empty nester.. I'd say 90 percent of my success of losing weight has been clearing my home of all sweets, junk food, and alcohol. My husband and i do love to drink..and it was super hard to not drink during the week.. But if you have a hard and fast rule not to bring it in the house..to only have cocktails on the weekends.. you can get this done. We jokinly call our home "The fat farm." Our fridge is packed with seafood, vegetables..our counters filled with bowls of fruit, peppers, onions, potatoes and garlic. We drink carbonated water with lime.
the kiddies are little... feed them healthy stuff..no animal crackers and crap you might eat. They'll never know the difference..and you can get healthy now for them.

amgreenwell

My kids are 2 1/2 and 16 months and it took me up until just a few weeks ago to be back to the weight I wanted. I am not in the shape I want to be in but I'm working on that. Slowly but surely finding the time to exercise. I wake in the morning before the rest of the house is up to go running. If the baby wakes my husband gets him and takes care of whatever.
I don't drink, like ever. B/c all of our time is taken up with work or home life I have found zero time to drink. So, maybe quitting cold turkey is for you. It will really cut back on your calorie intake and you'll find that you can sleep better, eat better and all around make better decisions. I swear to you I have about one beer a month at this point, if I'm lucky. I don't drink around my kids except if they are playing in the back yard and I can have a beer after work on the deck while watching them. Otherwise, I'm hands on and don't want any bad decisions made on my part from drinking.
You are the master of your own destiny. You've got to decide to make the house what you want it to be, the family what you want it to be and your life what you want it to be. Period. Sounds harsh but that's all there is to it. decide to live the life you want and make it happen. You can do it.

JustinAnimal

I appreciate the responses. Thanks to you all. It's all good food for thought.

evemariepaiement

I have two kids (older than yours, but...). The things that helped a bit was to turn family time into exercises. Long walks with the kids (I don't drive so I would put my youngest in the babycarrier and I woulsd use a stroller for my oldest), a bit of running with them (chasing them at the park), and WII Just dance (we put 5 or 6 songs and just dance like crazy) ; ) I managed to do a half hour every day with them, they had fun, I was fitter...

My husband who wanted to reclame his super shape, started to go for runs on his lunch break and started a program called Max capacity workout because it's very short (less than 15 minutes). He would do it right after the kids went to bed, it was a routine, so it was easier to follow. I can say that it worked like a charm. He is back to the shape he had in his 20's.

jaxsmama123

I have a two year old, and I decided when he was about 9-10 months that I was going to get my pre-mom bod back. So fast forward that time, I have lost approx. 20 lbs - I go the gym on my lunch break at work and on weekends (weather permitting) we are outside at the park or walks or doing yard work, and as for meals, I do like to pre-plan what I eat and sometimes I will make a big batch of soups, stews or chili, etc to freeze and pull out when I am too lazy.. I mean busy to cook.

I do understand the stress, being a parent is definitely no easy task, and I had very high expectations for myself to get fit again, but after trial and error (many many many times) I have decided its best for me to go day by day and not expect myself to be 40 lbs lighter in a month lol

JustinAnimal

Jaxsmama, I sympathize. I think I expect it to happen too quickly.

I also hate to admit that I'm doing most of what you guys are already suggesting. Life is non-stop in many regards, including how constantly active we are with the kids. Feels like we never sit down. Our son just got to the age where he will go on hikes with us. We get about an hour on the coach at the end of each day and that's the most we are sedentary. We model fairly healthy eating around the kids, so that isn't too bad. On top of all that, I exercise pretty intensely for a minimum of 30 minutes at about four to five times per week.

It's probably just the booze and late night eating. I think I just need to stop that. Those are the hardest things to give up right now. The things that make me feel like I get a treat or like stress relief or that I don't have to go to bed feeling hungry.

Blech.