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Why do I find this so hard?

Hi All

Firstly I'm 34, 5ft 3in and weigh 12st so am classed as overweight. I would like to lose around 2st, however, I am just struggling at the moment and have been all year. I just can't seem to stay on track for even one week so I'm fritting between 11st 11lb and 12st all the time!

A few weeks ago I cancelled my gym membership as I felt I was just obsessed with exercising. I've been going to the gym since 2015 but the past 8 months I either go all out 100% and do classes everyday, most days back to back or I don't go all out at all meaning 0%. I found I would go all out for a few weeks then I literally would exhaust myself and would lose motivation, feel guilty and fat for not going then I'd get my energy/motivation back and go ALL out and so on and so on, so I cancelled it to give my mentality a break! That worked because now I work out 2-3x a week and it feels good to not put so much pressure on myself....

Then I have the "diet" side of it where again I go all out, I am good, I stick to my deficit for a few days then wham, that biscuit enters my mouth and I feel like a loser, failure, fat, guilty and then just eat everything in site (not literally but you know what I mean). I start EVERYDAY with good, positive intentions and then I mess it up and its the same circle day in, day out and I can't seem to break this cycle of being really good one day then the next self sabotaging myself.

I just dont know what to do!

Please, if anyone else has been in this situation how did you break that cycle.


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Replies

  • Xkmaf2018X
    Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
    Thanks for your input
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 6,937 Member
    Maybe you should try prelogging your day and then try and stick to it. Everyone has their own way of hitting their daily calorie goal. There are ways to change things up--foods you eat, when you eat, etc. Maybe your deficit is too much and you should lighten up and go slower. I just was reading your other thread about exercise. You asked if you can exercise everyday. I would say--no. Go 3 days a week and, if you must, on the off days explore other things to do--perhaps a walk or yoga. This is not an all or nothing way of living.
  • Xkmaf2018X
    Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
    Thanks snowflake....I have tried pre-logging food but I didn't really enjoy it but most days I do know what I'm having and will stick to it...(if that makes sense)...I walk a lot everyday as I walk to and from work so easily get around 12,000 steps a day....My calorie goal as set by MFP is 1290 I think!

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,741 Member
    Xkmaf2018X wrote: »
    Thanks snowflake....I have tried pre-logging food but I didn't really enjoy it but most days I do know what I'm having and will stick to it...(if that makes sense)...I walk a lot everyday as I walk to and from work so easily get around 12,000 steps a day....My calorie goal as set by MFP is 1290 I think!

    I hope you're netting 1290 then? Given the number of steps you do you're in no way sedentary
  • Xkmaf2018X
    Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
    No, I try and stick to the 1290....I put in the settings that I was sedentary as despite doing those steps I do have desk job and I thought that was the rule.

    I have a fitbit which of course syncs any "extra" calories to MFP but I always feel bad if I use them...Sometimes I wonder if this is why I go off track ALL the time...

  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,804 Member
    Xkmaf2018X wrote: »
    Thanks snowflake....I have tried pre-logging food but I didn't really enjoy it but most days I do know what I'm having and will stick to it...(if that makes sense)...I walk a lot everyday as I walk to and from work so easily get around 12,000 steps a day....My calorie goal as set by MFP is 1290 I think!

    This statement contradicts your original post that you start every day with good intentions then "mess it up". You say you don't enjoy pre-logging, but did it help? I don't particularly enjoy it either but it helps me tremendously because I know just how much wiggle room I have in the day to eat something unplanned.

    As kimny72 said, you need to learn moderation. I realize that is much easier said than done; it is something I have struggled with implementing for years. But it does get easier with time. Stop looking at certain foods as good or bad. Just look at them in terms of something you ate that you need to fit into your day or just move on from. You basically need to separate your emotions from your eating (I say this as a lifelong emotional eater). The same goes for exercise. Don't think of exercise as the magic way to lose weight. Think of it as something that earns you a modest amount of extra calories and improves your overall health.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,073 Member
    Xkmaf2018X wrote: »
    No, I try and stick to the 1290....I put in the settings that I was sedentary as despite doing those steps I do have desk job and I thought that was the rule.

    I have a fitbit which of course syncs any "extra" calories to MFP but I always feel bad if I use them...Sometimes I wonder if this is why I go off track ALL the time...

    Yes. Yes, it is. Eat your exercise calories, at least 50% of them.
  • Xkmaf2018X
    Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
    I cant remember what I put to lose, I dont think it was 2lb but I can check.

    Shall I maybe reset it to lose 1lb or something?

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,073 Member
    Xkmaf2018X wrote: »
    I cant remember what I put to lose, I dont think it was 2lb but I can check.

    Shall I maybe reset it to lose 1lb or something?

    Again, yes.

    If eating a bit more keeps you on track, you'll actually end up losing more, right?
  • Xkmaf2018X
    Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
    Thanks All

    So I've amended my settings - see below.

    - Lightly Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me a goal of 1520
    - Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me 1810

    Shall I go with the Lightly Active option?

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 32,038 Member
    I found the activity settings to be way too low for me, that's why I say I would pick Active.

    It makes sense to just do whatever you feel you can sustain for two months.

    I came to my conclusions based on years of collected data, you just have to do the work.
  • RunForPizza88
    RunForPizza88 Posts: 56 Member
    edited October 2018
    OP - I work an office job where I am sitting all day and also made the mistake of adding myself as ‘sedentary’ when I started out.
    I was blooming starving! And as a result much more likely to throw in the towel.

    I walk around 12k steps per day to and from work and quickly found that ‘active’ was much more suitable!

    I also second what others have already pointed out, the reason you are not making progress is because you are doing the all or nothong approach. I have also been a victim of this in the past too, and trust me it doesnt work.
    You need to make small and sustainable changes, not starve yourself and burn out.

    Havent you heard, 1000 calorie diets are so 90s, strong is the new fashion. And to achieve that, you need to EAT! ;)

    Good luck <3
  • 73CL350
    73CL350 Posts: 259 Member
    If the fitbit is adding calorie adjustments for those steps ... doesn't it get double counted when you set activity level to active ?

    OP, what is the calorie adjustment on 12000 steps ?