Spinning my wheels

dmead001

Hi everyone.. looking for some words of wisdom. I am spinning my wheels trying to lose weight and get committed. I’m 42 years old and need to lose 85 lbs. I’ve put on all of this weight in the past 5 years and I’m
So unhappy with myself I can barely stand being in social situations. Everyday I say this is the day and I can’t stick to anything.

Can anyone help me figure out what I need to do to finally kick this self destructive behavior?

Thanks

L1zardQueen

Did you read any of the stickies at the top? This is a good one.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

SueSueDio

Start small. Don't go all out and try to give up everything you believe is fattening or "bad for you" - deprivation is a fast route to giving up and regaining!

Say, for the sake of argument, you drink three cans of soda a day. Cut that down to two, and then after a couple of weeks cut down to one. Or try and find a calorie-free version that you like. If you have cream and sugar in coffee, slowly cut down the amount of each that you have. Add more vegetables to your plate and slightly less meat and potatoes. Snack on veggies instead of cookies.

Obviously all these things may not apply to you, but you get the idea! Don't cut OUT everything you enjoy eating, just cut DOWN on the amount. Try logging faithfully everything that you eat now, and after a week or two look back at your diary and see where you might be able to make some calorie savings with a lower-calorie option or a bit less of something here and there. Over time, as you get used to it - and especially if you start to see results! - you'll be better able to reduce your calories further and not feel too hungry or deprived.

Don't commit to "losing weight" - commit to being kind to yourself and not feeling guilty if you eat something you feel you shouldn't have or you go over your calorie limit. And don't look at your goal as one huge obstacle of having to lose 85lbs - take it 5lbs at a time and celebrate every milestone.

Success isn't one big step, it's lots of little steps one after the other.

mulecanter

The good news is you are only 42 so you are ahead of the game for guys who inevitably gain weight in their 40's. I didn't have my "last straw" moment until I was 54 and my wife bought me 42 waist pants. I snapped and was able to really commit to the MFP discipline and lost 66lbs. I've regressed and I'm on round two with about 19 to go at age 59. Just imagine this, if you get down into slightly overweight zone by age 44 you will still have 10 years of trimness on me. You need to find your mojo and have a true mental commitment to diet control--again, for me it was that moment when I saw those 42 waist pants and felt devastated--almost to tears. Until you find that mental place where you have really made a decision to do it, you will yo-yo. 85 sounds like alot but there are people on here that have lost 285. You will find once you get into a groove after a couple months that you will lose consistently. I recommend joining this challenge, it keeps you tuned in and you get mutual support from your teammates. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/114605-weight-loss-challenge-and-support-group

Dilvish

Weight loss and maintaining the loss can be very difficult. You really have to ask yourself if what you are eating is necessary.

The destruction will come later if you continue to sabotage your weight loss goals. Being overweight or obese can lead to serious health issues as you get older and believe me when I say start now while you are still in your forties. When you are in your fifties it gets even harder.

Exercise more. Weights are preferable to cardio because building muscle burns more calories in the long run. Eat sensibly (lots of good quality protein) and cut out the garbage. Keep track of your calories, your exercise and set some goals...that can help but be honest...guessing simply doesn't work with weight loss!

As you age losing weight becomes a necessary thing because ageing slows down your metabolism and reduces your muscle mass. You simply can't afford to eat like you did in your "younger years".

jholdbrooks

I've struggled with my weight for a lifetime. Back and forth twenty pounds for the last several years. Also have high blood pressure and borderline diabetic. Seriously need to lose 65-75 pounds.

After younger sibling had some major health problems I decided to get serious. I decided to eat the calories that I should consume for my ideal weight. Not a diet, but this is what I should do for the rest of my life.

I also weigh and log my food for every meal. Be honest. Pack my meals for work. Try to make good food choices and get rid of high calorie nutrient-poor food. Some days I'm under and some days I'm over. I try to cut down on the number of times I eat out as well.

I am committed to walk at least 10,000 steps a day. Some type of exercise for at least 30 minutes a day to get my heart rate between 65-80% of my maximum. At first walking did this but now I jog a bit. I've added so weight training gradually; muscle burns fat.

Sixty days into it I've lost 16 pound but I can tell my body is changing for the better. Mentally more alert; more energy, a better outlook and improved mood.

I know it will take a while to lose the all the weight but my focus is to eat for my ideal weight and incorporate activity for a healthier lifestyle. With all that being said; focus on changing your focus to eat appropriate for you ideal weight and a more active lifestyle. With this outlook I don't feel like I'm depriving myself.

A fitness tracker is helpful in setting and tracking goals. Wish you the best in your journey.

RodaRose

Buy a kitchen scale that measures in ounces so you can track your food.
Also this: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

TavistockToad

dmead001 wrote: »

Hi everyone.. looking for some words of wisdom. I am spinning my wheels trying to lose weight and get committed. I’m 42 years old and need to lose 85 lbs. I’ve put on all of this weight in the past 5 years and I’m
So unhappy with myself I can barely stand being in social situations. Everyday I say this is the day and I can’t stick to anything.

Can anyone help me figure out what I need to do to finally kick this self destructive behavior?

Thanks

Why do you feel like you don't deserve to lose weight and get healthy?

Cant_think_of_a_username

dmead001 wrote: »

I'm So unhappy with myself I can barely stand being in social situations.

Take this negative and turn it into a powerful positive and use it to fuel your progress and determination.

Think about what you are unhappy with - what will it take to change it? This will help you find the resolve to get started and you can also use this to fight the urge to snack/graze/eat unhealthily etc.

Visualise how you will look when you lose the weight and how social situations will be then... use this to power your resolve to continue with your weight loss journey (especially when things get tough).

Meal planning really helps me as well as bulk prep so it's easier to reach for the right things and less tempting to fall off the wagon.

You've got this.

dmead001

Thanks everyone! Great motivation! Every day I wake up I think today is the day.. by the end of the day I’m beating myself up for failing. I feel like stress in my life just destroys anything I try to do for myself. I don’t know why today will be any different.. I need to break out of this rut

88olds

To lose 85 lbs, you need to embrace weight loss as a long term process. You can’t possibly fail at it in one day. You can’t really get started in one day.

Calorie counting works. But there is a significant calorie counting learning curve. When I started, I took some comfort from this thought- Thomas Edison built a sophisticated laboratory and worked for years to make a commercially viable light bulb. They conducted 100’s of tests. He never declared the whole thing a failure based on the outcome for 1 day or even 1 week.

Try to adopt an attitude of experimentation. Calculate a modest calorie deficit. Get a food scale, start a food diary, and set about crunching numbers. You will soon find that you have a better chance to hit your number if you have a plan. Plan for each a day and each week. Try to anticipate problem areas and plan for them.

Try to plan your menus around food that you like. Can any of your favorites be modified to try to make them more plan friendly? Can you fit the high calorie dishes into your plan in limited amounts?

Try to establish a long term downward trend. But be prepared for the tension between that trend and living your life. The trick is losing weight in a way that you can live with.

When you go over your calorie number, and you will, don’t just throw up your hands and quit. No human undertaking proceeds error free. Going over your number is not failure. It’s a sign of either inadequate planning or poor execution. Just keep logging your food into your diary, mistakes and all, and keep problem solving to improve your plan.

Embrace the process and the process will see you through. Good luck.

elisa123gal

I find changing my environment makes it easier for me to change. What I mean is keeping any junk, sugar, or fattening foods totally out of my house. Second, I grocery shop and stock my fridge and freezer with healthy good foods and prepare them. I also invested time in learning how to prepare tasty healthy food so I don't feel deprived. skinnytaste.com is a great recipe site.

I also have tons of glad-ware so I can bring healthy food with me everywhere..work..car.. all that.

Finally, I make a rule not to drink at home or during the week. I do go out to dinner once a week and have cocktails and order a meal within reason.

This game plan has worked for me. Maybe some of it may help you. Good luck.

maylingsmom

Really great advice from SueSueDio. Actually, Sue, it's what I needed to hear today too.

SueSueDio

maylingsmom wrote: »

Really great advice from SueSueDio. Actually, Sue, it's what I needed to hear today too.

Thank you, I'm glad you found it helpful!

I put off trying to lose weight for far too long because I believed it meant giving up all the foods I loved and spending hours in the gym. I am SO happy that my friend introduced me to MFP! Any "diet" that required me to give up chocolate would have been doomed to failure, and counting calories allowed me to still have some.

I eat chocolate, cake, burgers, pizza, sweets and all sorts of other things that many people consider "bad for you" or "unhealthy". I just had to learn to make do with less than I might have eaten in the past - a measured portion or two of Maltesers rather than the entire family bag in one evening, for example, and eating them slowly instead of shoving a whole handful into my mouth... There have been days when I've gone waaay over my calorie limit... like twice as much as my goal (usually on days like birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas) - I try not to make a habit of going that far over! Sometimes I still eat because I want to and not because I'm hungry, but at least I'm generally aware of those times now.

The point is, in some ways I "fail" at this game. But I keep at it, and over the course of a couple of years I took off more than 70lbs and have kept most of it off. (Gone up a couple lately because I've been getting a bit too lax and self-indulgent, so I know I need to rein that in.) It's what you do MOST of the time that matters. It's a lifelong process. I hope that one day I'll be able to manage my weight without counting calories and logging my food, but I'm prepared to keep on doing that if that's what it takes. I missed out on so much by being obese for so long, and I will NOT go back there.

@dmead001 Do it for you. You're worth the effort, you really are. And I promise you it gets easier in many ways as you go along - but unfortunately you can never unsee the amount of calories in some things and you'll never look at them in quite the same way again...!