I feel like a failure. Fat and pregnant...

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I was 130lb before getting pregnant. I already had low self esteem and wanted to lose weight. Now I'm pregnant and I have gained 20lb in 11 weeks. My diet is the same as its always been. *kitten* diet- I'd like to blame always being on the road for work and hotels with no kitchens, but doubt its an acceptable excuse. I'm discouraged, overwhelmed, and dont even know how to be proactive. I feel like my husband isnt even attracted to be....
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  • Running2Fit
    Running2Fit Posts: 702 Member
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    If you are unhappy with your diet, see if your doctor will refer you to a registered dietitian. And maybe some therapy for your self-esteem issues would be good as well.
  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
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    I agree, ask your doctor about your weight gain. You need to eat to grow that little bub so weightloss might not be a good priority for you right now but gaining too much weight can cause issues too. And ask about help if you're feeling overwhelmed, you don't need to handle all this by yourself.
    Aconite213 wrote: »
    I feel like my husband isnt even attracted to be....

    You have more important things to think about. You're busy growing a person. Delete that nasty pointless thought and don't let it back in.
  • kathleenford04
    kathleenford04 Posts: 128 Member
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    If it helps you feel any better, I gained 60 pounds while pregnant, so you’re doing better than I did! I know I consumed more calories than usual during that time, but I was gaining weight so quickly (several pounds a week at the end) that there is no way it was just my eating habits. I think some women, unfortunately, just gain more than others. I was also nauseous, fatigued and very swollen so it was hard to even walk for exercise. A lot of what happens to your body during pregnancy is out of your control...I hope you are able to give yourself some grace. My son is 16 months old now and I’ve lost 50 of the pounds I gained (25 of that came off in the first week after birth!)
  • HollyJ63
    HollyJ63 Posts: 1 Member
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    You’re not a failure.
    You’re a momma.
  • coolbluecris
    coolbluecris Posts: 228 Member
    edited November 2018
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    You need perspective! A start weight of 130 pounds is excellent even if you're only 4ft9!!

    I now weigh 210 pounds and looking back I thought I was fat at 130 (I'm 5 ft 2). Thinking I was fat at 130 pounds (I wasn't!!, looking back I was gorgeous!!) caused depression that caused bingeing. So stop! Stop doing this to yourself and focus on eating fresh foods such as colourful salads, fruit smoothie bowls, banana nice cream (Frozen bananas with cinnamon or blended with berries), buy pre chopped colourful salad bags and use them to make rice paper rolls with avocado, make soups and skin on potato chips in the oven. Make bean burritos and Neapolitano pasta sauces. Eat beautiful nutritious foods and you'll be fine. Sending hugs xx <3<3<3
    PS: Frozen fruit is easy to get, search the grocery freezers.

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  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
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    All I can say is WOW. You need to speak to a professional. Your beating yourself up for gaining weight while pregnant? How about dont worry about gaining weight and have this baby, then you can do what ever you want to yourself.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,085 Member
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    pogiguy05 wrote: »
    All I can say is WOW. You need to speak to a professional. Your beating yourself up for gaining weight while pregnant? How about dont worry about gaining weight and have this baby, then you can do what ever you want to yourself.

    It's not as easy as that though, what a women goes through when she's pregnant is all very real to her, it's a very common worry of pregnant women. But it's a sacrifice we must make.

    I mean when I was pregnant I once cried my eyes out because my lamb had too much fat on it. So work that one out. So I think OPs worry is a more rational one.
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
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    I totally understand how you are feeling. I remember sitting in the bathtub crying because I felt so huge! The truth is that your body is going to go through some changes but they are temporary. The most important thing is making a healthy child. Eat normal portions and you will likely maintain your weight pre-pregnancy (or even lose a little) shortly after delivery. There is alot of fluid involved in having a baby even if the child only weighs 7 or 8 pounds. All of that goes away eventually and if you nurse after you should see even more loss. Trust me now is not the time to worry about losing weight. That child will be a part of your life forever. Making him or her healthy is number one right now. Hang in there my friend. Hubby is likely just as overwhelmed as you about all the changes and his attitude probably has nothing to do with your appearance. If the weight comes on too quickly make sure and talk with your doc cause you might end up with too much water in your system which can be dangerous. Other than that you are right where most of us were with our first babies, lol, it's a big club.
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
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    You should discuss this with your doctor. Limiting calories or overeating, while you are pregnant may be harmful to both you and your baby. I am sure that you want what’s best for both you and your baby.
    Congratulations to you on the pending arrival of the addition to your family.
  • Aconite213
    Aconite213 Posts: 6 Member
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    You guys are amazing. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and advice. Your words alone have helped shape my personal perspective. I have talked to my doctor and have started adding smoothies as a meal replacement on days that I am not on the road. 1 cup of mix fruit and kale, 1cup whole milk, scoop of protein powder, tsp of benefiber. I do this twice a day with 1 regular meal. I also started a walking group in my town to have extra support and exercise accountability. <3
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Aconite213 wrote: »
    I was 130lb before getting pregnant. I already had low self esteem and wanted to lose weight. Now I'm pregnant and I have gained 20lb in 11 weeks. My diet is the same as its always been. *kitten* diet- I'd like to blame always being on the road for work and hotels with no kitchens, but doubt its an acceptable excuse. I'm discouraged, overwhelmed, and dont even know how to be proactive. I feel like my husband isnt even attracted to be....

    Is your doctor concerned about your weight? I'd discuss it with them and get recommendations.
    This page describes the weight gain you might expect-> https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/weight-gain/

    I think it can be normal to have mixed feelings about how your body changes with pregnancy. What you think about yourself is not what other people are thinking.
    When I was pregnant I had a hard time with gaining weight and did not feel attractive. Dh told me years later that he was very turned on by my pregnant body but just didn't know how to say that to me at the time.

  • OddDitty
    OddDitty Posts: 248 Member
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    Aconite213 wrote: »
    I was 130lb before getting pregnant. I already had low self esteem and wanted to lose weight. Now I'm pregnant and I have gained 20lb in 11 weeks. My diet is the same as its always been. *kitten* diet- I'd like to blame always being on the road for work and hotels with no kitchens, but doubt its an acceptable excuse. I'm discouraged, overwhelmed, and dont even know how to be proactive. I feel like my husband isnt even attracted to be....

    I also think support is important. Find a place where other pregnant women gather.Talk with them and share your feelings. I bet many feel just like you do. Knowing you're not alone can go far.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,085 Member
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    Wait. Is this the second thread about being fat and pregnant that you have going on?

    Does it matter?
  • fmize7
    fmize7 Posts: 26 Member
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    I have had 5 children and my first one was at 20. I started at around the same weight as you and gained a ton of weight with each child. I got up to about 180-200 pounds with each one but the weight does come off. I do know how you are feeling. The changes our bodies go through is hard to process but I can assure you that what your body is doing is absolutely amazing. Growing a child inside of you is one of the best things you will ever do. I agree with a previous comment that a lot of what happens is out of your control. Please, please, please do not feel like a failure just because your body doesn't look like what you want it to look like right now. Our bodies go through many changes throughout life. You have to learn to be nice to yourself. I wasn't always happy with my body especially after I got pregnant with the first one and I felt I lost everything about my appearance. My first one is now 18 years old and I have seen my body fluctuate quite a bit. If you are down and depressed make sure you are getting support, be nice to yourself, do things that make you happy. Take care of your eating and be as active as you can during this very precious time. I know its hard but you are definitely not a failure!
  • Aconite213
    Aconite213 Posts: 6 Member
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    I am so blessed for my first kid and I only pray hes a healthy and beautiful boy. He's worth whatever I'm going through. It's comforting to hear a lot of people bouncing back. I guess i just had this false image of pregnancy or at leaat image other pregnant ladies as being in a better position than I am in. But like i said earlier on, im beginning to be more at peace.
  • johnnylakis
    johnnylakis Posts: 812 Member
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    Aconite213 wrote: »
    I was 130lb before getting pregnant. I already had low self esteem and wanted to lose weight. Now I'm pregnant and I have gained 20lb in 11 weeks. My diet is the same as its always been. *kitten* diet- I'd like to blame always being on the road for work and hotels with no kitchens, but doubt its an acceptable excuse. I'm discouraged, overwhelmed, and dont even know how to be proactive. I feel like my husband isnt even attracted to be....
    it's natural to feel this way. the hormones are going crazy