Anyone with BED and able to lose

nutmegoreo

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

flosoup24 wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

flosoup24 wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

flosoup24 wrote: »

She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively

So it seems (to me) like you have two options here. The first is to accept that your therapist has valid reasons for this approach right now, that she's determined that a focus on food/weight/dieting isn't what you need right now for recovery for your BED. If that's the approach, bringing up your frustrations and fears with treatment may be productive.

The second is that this isn't the right fit for you as a therapist. I'm not saying that is the case, but if you find that her approach is making your condition worse and she's not open to discussing her approach and long-term plans with you, you may want to consider if a different therapist -- one who will be more open about what success looks like for your treatment -- would be a better fit.

In either case, the question of how to beat your ED should be something you and your therapist are tackling together, not something you're having to get advice on online because you are frustrated with how she's approaching it.

I think this is great. I did a little thinking about today and its my head space. I weighed this morning and had a gain this started the spiral and then the binge and in turn searching for advice when really I want an instant cure and thus it continues.

I can completely identify. It's so hard for me to be patient with the process. I make a therapy appointment and then get angry because I'm not better yet!

For me, the vicious cycle -- stress makes me want to eat (or restrict), excessive eating (or restriction) causes stress, even dealing with the underlying emotions causes stress. It can get better though! I'm at a point where it isn't part of my daily life anymore, just something that flares up. It's possible. I'm wishing you good luck.

Im so glad that you've gotten to that point. I had felt great for 3 weeks yes food choices were made on impulse but no binge and then slap! Back today

You are having a bad day but that does not take away from the fact that you went 3 weeks previously without a binge. Rather than focus on the one bad day look at all those good days you had. Just put today behind you and keep taking those baby steps forward with the improvements you are making. You can do this and YOU ARE WORTH IT!

This reminds me of a story that I like to share with people. It's the Two Bad Bricks by Ajahn Brahm. I've seen it on YouTube, but it's also in his book "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?"

Another good book to pick up.

SCoil123

flosoup24 wrote: »

Ive been told by my therapist to stop all diets because of my BED. And yes since I stopped and stopped telling myself what foods were good and bad and restricting I haven't had a binge in a few weeks. However I am now at my heaviest ever. I weighed this morning and lo and behold binged this evening. What can I do? How do I beat this? I want to beat it and lose 7 stone!

I would recommend finding a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. I’m a recovering bulimic. I have had many episodes of binging though that were not followed by purging. For me I really needed to start by working with someone who understood the complexity of eating disorders to get into recovery.

I can tell you that I found having a calorie budget worked well for me. Having a range was mentally easier for me than a set goal. I got too fixated when I had one certain number to shoot for. I would get discouraged when I didn’t hit that number then binge. I also lost my weight very slowly (around a year for 30lb). This was good for me because I implemented small sustainable changes over time.

flosoup24

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

flosoup24 wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

flosoup24 wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

flosoup24 wrote: »

She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively

So it seems (to me) like you have two options here. The first is to accept that your therapist has valid reasons for this approach right now, that she's determined that a focus on food/weight/dieting isn't what you need right now for recovery for your BED. If that's the approach, bringing up your frustrations and fears with treatment may be productive.

The second is that this isn't the right fit for you as a therapist. I'm not saying that is the case, but if you find that her approach is making your condition worse and she's not open to discussing her approach and long-term plans with you, you may want to consider if a different therapist -- one who will be more open about what success looks like for your treatment -- would be a better fit.

In either case, the question of how to beat your ED should be something you and your therapist are tackling together, not something you're having to get advice on online because you are frustrated with how she's approaching it.

I think this is great. I did a little thinking about today and its my head space. I weighed this morning and had a gain this started the spiral and then the binge and in turn searching for advice when really I want an instant cure and thus it continues.

I can completely identify. It's so hard for me to be patient with the process. I make a therapy appointment and then get angry because I'm not better yet!

For me, the vicious cycle -- stress makes me want to eat (or restrict), excessive eating (or restriction) causes stress, even dealing with the underlying emotions causes stress. It can get better though! I'm at a point where it isn't part of my daily life anymore, just something that flares up. It's possible. I'm wishing you good luck.

Im so glad that you've gotten to that point. I had felt great for 3 weeks yes food choices were made on impulse but no binge and then slap! Back today

You are having a bad day but that does not take away from the fact that you went 3 weeks previously without a binge. Rather than focus on the one bad day look at all those good days you had. Just put today behind you and keep taking those baby steps forward with the improvements you are making. You can do this and YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Thank you

smolmaus

Did you/ are you going to tell your therapist that you weighed yourself and that triggered a binge?

I am not working with a therapist but I am in a similar place, also taking the "no diets" approach to try and get my binge eating under control. I weighed myself on Friday and that was enough to me into a spiral the exact same way for the whole weekend. It wasn't even the result, which was fine tbh, it was actually stepping on the scales. That's engaging your brain in old patterns, starting old cycles up again.

If you're going to break this cycle for good I think you have to actually do it. Not mostly do it/ only when your therapist is watching and then worry about diets and calories and your weight when you leave the office. Commit to it and get rid of those scales immediately. I'm going to do the same. I'd advise getting off a weight loss forum as well but that would be incredibly hypocritical of me.

mmapags

smolmaus wrote: »

Did you/ are you going to tell your therapist that you weighed yourself and that triggered a binge?

I am not working with a therapist but I am in a similar place, also taking the "no diets" approach to try and get my binge eating under control. I weighed myself on Friday and that was enough to me into a spiral the exact same way for the whole weekend. It wasn't even the result, which was fine tbh, it was actually stepping on the scales. That's engaging your brain in old patterns, starting old cycles up again.

If you're going to break this cycle for good I think you have to actually do it. Not mostly do it/ only when your therapist is watching and then worry about diets and calories and your weight when you leave the office. Commit to it and get rid of those scales immediately. I'm going to do the same. I'd advise getting off a weight loss forum as well but that would be incredibly hypocritical of me.

Excellent post and great insight from one who actually knows what they are talking about in regards to BED.

Those who really don't might want to consider refraining from offering suggestions that could possibly do more harm than good.

Fuzzipeg

OP, I worry for you. You say, almost as an aside, you have,

"fibromyalgia, ME and a million other health conditions....." these are words uttered by everyone suffering with autoimmunity, the pain the fatigue and all. The number of conditions and persons affected are rising year on year. It is not uncommon for someone with one autoimmune condition to go on to develop more of them, feeling increasingly worse as time goes by.

I fear general medicine does not always hold all the best answers for people like us. If you can, Please look to Functional Medicine, these practitioners use tests as in general medicine but look for the underlying cause for the problems. I have controlled Hashimoto's I remember the pain and fatigue caused by my autoimmune condition, I feel for you. I had to go outside general medicine to get my life back. I know from my worst days of feeling ill in every part of me that it is all to easy to give in to the impulse to eat, comfort eating but it does not bring comfort for long when the pain and everything gets on top of you. If you can discover a way to overcome or reduce the Autoimmunity other things will come together for you.

You say you managed three weeks doing as your therapist advised and YOU achieved this without previous binging. This is Wonderful for you achieving three weeks. At my worst I could not have managed that.

Please talk to your therapist to see if she has any ideas to help you managed the health issues caused by your auto immunity.

snickerscharlie

mmapags wrote: »

smolmaus wrote: »

Did you/ are you going to tell your therapist that you weighed yourself and that triggered a binge?

I am not working with a therapist but I am in a similar place, also taking the "no diets" approach to try and get my binge eating under control. I weighed myself on Friday and that was enough to me into a spiral the exact same way for the whole weekend. It wasn't even the result, which was fine tbh, it was actually stepping on the scales. That's engaging your brain in old patterns, starting old cycles up again.

If you're going to break this cycle for good I think you have to actually do it. Not mostly do it/ only when your therapist is watching and then worry about diets and calories and your weight when you leave the office. Commit to it and get rid of those scales immediately. I'm going to do the same. I'd advise getting off a weight loss forum as well but that would be incredibly hypocritical of me.

Excellent post and great insight from one who actually knows what they are talking about in regards to BED.

Those who really don't might want to consider refraining from offering suggestions that could possibly do more harm than good.

So. Much. This.

Sure wish people would stop diagnosing the OP and then giving advice when they are not qualified to do so. This has got to be really confusing (and not at all helpful) to the OP.

At issue here is the fact that the word 'binge' has - just like the word 'addict' - come to colloquially describe a mainstream behavioural issue when, in fact, they are legitimate medical/mental wellness conditions.

Eating a pint of ice cream does not make you an addicted binger. Using terms in cases like this waters down the seriousness of a legitimate concern such as BED, which is what the OP is struggling with.

Fflpnari

My experience. I tried to go to therapy and It didn't go well. The thing that works best FOR ME. Is eating enough. I upped my calories to 2400. (fit bit estimation is I burn between 2600 and 3100 depending on activity). I focus on protein and let carbs and fat land where ever but they I usually end up 35%C/35%F/ 30% P. This is where my hungry hormones are happy. I put my scale under my bed so I don't see it everyday. I have quit weighing. Based on the math I should be losing and I feel like I am. For me weighing is a trigger for BED. I try to avoid eating out and alcohol since that can trigger a binge.

NovusDies

I do not give eating advice in these types of threads because I have no experience with EDs and even if I did I wouldn't know if it actually applied to you or not. It did occur to me that if your therapist feels that restricted eating of any kind is not right for you at this moment have you considered asking if you can work on a plan that maintains your present weight until he/she thinks you are ready to lose?

fitoverfortymom

Continue working with your therapist on a plan. Trust the process.

Mondowefte

I was just like you, with BED, a collection of autoimmune disorders, and really low self esteem. Just under 2 years ago, I decided, with the help of my therapist, to take a no diet, no restriction approach to food, to go along with my therapy.

I put my scales away and did not weigh myself for 18 months. I stopped labelling foods good/bad/junk/clean etc and really took the judgement out of it. And I got bigger. My food pendulum swung wildly to the "eat everything" side. But over time, I have started to pay attention to how I am feeling when I eat, and I stopped binging, without even realising it. I am slowly adding different habits (one at a time!), such as making sure I have a good protein source at breakfast, paying attention to my fullness cues, and exercising.

I am finally able to track and weigh without setting off the previous behavior. I am below the weight that I was when I started, and am losing slowly, but steadily.

It can be done. But it is hard work, and goes against what society has taught us for our whole lives. You have to trust in the process.

Find Mama Lion Strong on Facebook or Insta, she is great with this process.

flosoup24

Thank you each and everyone for your input. It has been a struggle all week. I did tell my therapist about the binge and the constant I must be on a diet this week. I have to accept this and learn to cope a better way. I also have to accept it won't happen overnight. I have recognised that a high level of stress this last few weeks has most likely culminated in this so again I need to find a way to cope without using food as my coping mechanism AND as a lot of you said learn to trust the process. Thanks once again