Just started! Already cheated/failed!

Bulletzen72

I know it's a blip! It's my birthday tomorrow and I have to work through the whole day on my own. By the time I get home I will be tired and alone. My sister is here right now and we went out for an early birthday meal and some drinks that are easily 4000 Kal+
I know it's a blip.....
....Still feels incredibly bad.
How do you get over the disappointment when it comes to days like this?

kami3006

You log it and learn from it. Then, you keep moving forward. It's a learning experience, not a failure. Really.

kimny72

Bulletzen72 wrote: »

I know it's a blip! It's my birthday tomorrow and I have to work through the whole day on my own. By the time I get home I will be tired and alone. My sister is here right now and we went out for an early birthday meal and some drinks that are easily 4000 Kal+
I know it's a blip.....
....Still feels incredibly bad.
How do you get over the disappointment when it comes to days like this?

It's all about mindset, and that takes just as much practice as all the other stuff.
You aren't in a competition, so you didn't cheat. You just ate too much.
You didn't fail, unless you decide to quit completely because of it.
No one is perfect. No one eats on plan every day. The difference between people who succeed and people who don't is that the people who succeed keep on going after they fall down. Weight loss leads to weight maintenance and is a lifelong process.

As @kami3006 said, log it and learn from it. For future reference, I found some good strategies for restaurant meals involved limiting beverage calories, asking for a doggie bag with my meal, and skipping the bread basket. But seriously, the sooner you can remove morality/guilt from your diet, the better off you'll be. Enjoying food and overdoing it sometimes doesn't make you weak or a bad person, just a human being who still has more to learn. Good luck :drinker:

amy19355

I concur with Kimny72 regarding mindset.

My preferred descriptors for my behavior are: on target, off target.
I don't like good/bad, right/wrong because there is easily so much emotional baggage tied to them.

Try this thinking:
you made a plan to improve your health and fitness. it's your plan and you know what you want to achieve (those are your targets), and you have some ideas about how you will accomplish them.
start doing it.
review what you are doing periodically. Is every on target? Yes/No? Maybe sometimes modify some of what you are doing.
keep doing it more, don't stop now.
keep reviewing the progress.
keep making changes as needed.
keep doing it.

one day at a time adds up to weeks and months in no time flat.

nacicecreamlady

After 4 weeks, losing 10 pounds but having 4-5 poops a day, I was going crazy. So I have stopped for 2 days to give my poor intestines a break. Eating like I used to, but then will go right back to my new normal, low carbs hi protein. Actually liking it, I don't eat nearly as much, fill up faster and last longer. Less daily naps also! Only 125 lbs to go! lol...its okay to take a break, just get back on the wagon and get ready to roll some more.

cmriverside

Happy Birthday!

Honestly, I've been at this a long time. I've been at my Maintenance weight for about a decade now after losing 70+ pounds.

Some days are Special Days. My birthday is one of them. Somebody else's birthday? Not Special. I mean, I'll go, I'll have some little bit of cake, but I won't go 4000 calories. On MY birthday? I might go 4000 calories. Same with Christmas and Thanksgiving. They just are days I don't worry about. Other not-AS-special days? I'll go over by 500 calories or so and not even blink.

It isn't a huge deal for me to be over by 500-1500 calories one day per week. It doesn't cause me to gain weight.

You'll likely work out some plan that you can live with - but I certainly wouldn't regret a 4000 calorie birthday. Log it as best you can and move on. Guilt and shame are overrated.

middlehaitch

Happy Birthday.

Not a fail, you are learning, nice and early, how to move forward into maintaining while enjoying life.

It's consistency over time that leads to success, not the special occasion leading to failure.

Like @cmriverside, I am a long term maintainer and don't worry about a blip in the landscape.

Cheers, h.

SweetMostly

Happy Birthday! You acknowledge you had a blip and move on.... Just don’t blip tomorrow

emmamcgarity

IMO use today as a tool to become dispassionate about your food log so that you can treat it like the data it is. Log as accurately as you can. Know that long term success involves learning how to fit special occasions into your life. The data will show you what works as you look back at it.

Happy birthday!

Bex953172

There are two days in the year that I don't calorie count. And basically it's an eat what I want day. One is my birthday and the other is Christmas Day.
They're my most important celebrations to me and should be thoroughly enjoyed.
So enjoy it! But just for today!

It's a blip, youre likely to have a bumpy start so just go with it, you have to make the mistakes to learn from them. And youll find ways to tweak your diet to make the calories fit.
For example my calories can shoot up when I've had some mayo, so I switched to light mayo and it's not so bad anymore.

maggiemax18

Wow, I relate to this so much! I am such a cheater (when it comes to dieting). For instance, I did great ALL week with my little turkey and lettuce wraps and my water bottles...then my cousin asked me to run errands with her and we got McDonalds...twice. It felt so good in the moment and now I feel like a McLoser and the thought of fast food makes me want to throw up. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I really can’t help, sorry. I always end up feeling guilty and repeating the cycle. I just related to this post

88olds

amy19355 wrote: »

I concur with Kimny72 regarding mindset.

My preferred descriptors for my behavior are: on target, off target.
I don't like good/bad, right/wrong because there is easily so much emotional baggage tied to them.

Try this thinking:
you made a plan to improve your health and fitness. it's your plan and you know what you want to achieve (those are your targets), and you have some ideas about how you will accomplish them.
start doing it.
review what you are doing periodically. Is every on target? Yes/No? Maybe sometimes modify some of what you are doing.
keep doing it more, don't stop now.
keep reviewing the progress.
keep making changes as needed.
keep doing it.

one day at a time adds up to weeks and months in no time flat.

⬆️ This is good advice.

Some more helpful descriptors helpful/unhelpful. As to plans - effective/ineffective or maybe inadequate.

Think about weight loss as a process. Break it down into Individual things to do. Always keep your diary. It’s a thing to do. If you haven’t, try to fill yours in. Even if the best you can do is dinner=4000cals. It’s the process you’ve chosen. Defend the process.

If you are working the process, the only way to fail is quit. The process is plan, execute (requires focus on your plan) keep your diary, problem solve and adjust. Always try to make your plan better.

More descriptors- there is no cheating. There is only hitting your calorie number, under your number or over your number. Lots of ways to make mistakes, inadequate plans, loss of focus at critical times, misread menus and NI, bad math- all can put you over your number. The only cheat is to pretend it didn’t happen and not log it.

Kicking yourself won’t get you to GW. Good luck.

Bulletzen72

Thanks for the advice and birthday wishes folks! Back on track today! The real killer yesterday wasn't only the food, but the drinks too. Shocking amount of calories in booze!

amy19355

Bulletzen72 wrote: »

Thanks for the advice and birthday wishes folks! Back on track today! The real killer yesterday wasn't only the food, but the drinks too. Shocking amount of calories in booze!

Try a week of measuring portions and logging all food and drink BEFORE you put it on the plate.

For me, it was a real eye opener about the reality of what I was doing. My reality did not line up with my thoughts.

dennisllaugesen1419

Try and not look at measuring sucess day by day. Go week by week. I have my week start on sunday when i always eat lower cal and very healthy. Usually follow it up with a good monday. On tueaday or wednesday i usually fall off the wagon and have a "bad" day but because of the strong start my averages and macros are not too bad. I get back on the wagon for the rest of the week and everything works out. Even if i end up having a poor week i always look forward to making the next week great. Dont get down just get back up!

DaveScadlock

Stay focused. Some days you will fall off the wagon, just make them fast and few between. Set new habits.