Self conscious at the gym

arilukaszewicz1
arilukaszewicz1 Posts: 75 Member
edited November 2018 in Fitness and Exercise
Hi y’all, I go to planet fitness. I am completely comfortable using the elliptical and treadmill but when it comes to doing free weights in front of the mirror I feel like throwing up. I am scared people will think I’m stupid If I do squats in front of the mirror. I am extremely self conscious and I want this to change. Any advice you can give me to get over this would b great!
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Replies

  • melissajkxoxo
    melissajkxoxo Posts: 35 Member
    Sorry I am not even as confident as you and feel like I don’t want to work out in front of people at all. I don’t really know why I feel this way. But yes. Any advice from others would be great.
  • Keto_Vampire
    Keto_Vampire Posts: 1,670 Member
    edited November 2018
    Really not a big deal or anything to be embarrassed about. It's rather reassuring & motivating to see others make progress overtime & putting in effort

    Only reason someone might think you are stupid if you are recklessly & unnecessarily endangering others
    (i.e. had this older gentleman (maybe weighed like 150lbs?) attempting to deadlift 400+ lbs without warming up...guy was falling over attempting every rep; myself & others proximal to him had to bring attention to gym staff about this guy)
  • JessAndreia
    JessAndreia Posts: 540 Member
    What's the reason you're afraid people will think you're stupid? Lack of confidence on whether you're doing an exercise correctly?
    Aside from the advice of hiring a trainer for a session or two to teach you form, you can also try start going at hours when the gym is mostly empty until you feel a bit more confident in what you're doing.
  • ImSoSquishy
    ImSoSquishy Posts: 57 Member
    i think it's okay to look at the mirror when doing squats as a beginner, i use to do it a lot too when i first started lifting in the past. all you need to do is take that step out in order to move forward, even if it looks stupid or silly, there is still a point in doing it because it'll let you know what mistakes you're making so you can learn and fix them, it's the only way to become better.

    there were these guys at a different gym i used to go to a long time ago, they used to laugh at me when i just started lifting, i was like almost 230 lbs of fat, looking stupid and making a lot of mistakes but i did not care as they weren't that much better than me anyway. but each time while i'm on my way home from gym, i would ask myself a bunch of questions like what am i doing wrong? which muscles is this exercise for? what can i do to make it work for me? and each time i would go online to do research, and look into everything once i get home. from biomechanics, to medical science, to physics, nutrition, and just a lot of things i never even knew or thought about. the knowledge really helped and i got better at lifting each time.

    so all you really need to do is take that step to go outside of your comfort zone, over time you'll get more comfortable and your comfort zone will also start expand with each step. and who knows, maybe one day you'll become so comfortable and confident at doing squats, we'll even see you on youtube attempting to break world records at a USAPL powerlifting meet in front of a whole crowd lols.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    No, they will think you're smart and attentive if you do squats by the mirror. How would you know what they're thinking anyway? And what does it matter? What matters is that yours there and working hard and willing to try new things!
  • JessAndreia
    JessAndreia Posts: 540 Member
    Wait, is doing squats in front of the mirror not a normal thing? I'm not a beginner, and I always do goblet squats in front of the mirror. The free weights are right in front of the mirror, so makes a lot more sense for me to pick them up and just take a few steps back, than to pick them up and then walk to another area.
    Just make sure you're not right in front of the mirror, nor are too close to others who are working out.
  • Cbean08
    Cbean08 Posts: 1,092 Member
    I don't know anyone who goes to the gym to people-watch. No one is interested in what you are doing unless 1. you are doing yourself harm or 2. you are doing others harm.

    I film myself quite frequently when I workout to check form as well as to record progress. I used to be worried about it, and then I realized a lot of other people do too and I don't judge them for filming. So why would they judge me? Anyways, that's how I rationalize it.

    Ultimately, you'll never feel more comfortable at a gym unless you continue to go and gain more confidence in your routine. If you make it obvious that you are nervous and self-conscious, you'll be more noticeable. If you are confident and sure of your routine, no one is going to care.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    The only advice I have is to keep doing it until you aren't nervous anymore.

    What's the worst that could happen? Probably no one thinks you are stupid - most people are not paying attention to you at all. But just for the sake of argument, let's say everyone there thinks you look like a complete idiot who has no idea what you are doing. So? Will you die? You absolutely will NOT die from others thinking you look stupid. Especially since you aren't stupid. You are smart because you are lifting weights and getting strong.
  • HeathieM
    HeathieM Posts: 173 Member
    I literally pretend like i'm the only one there and just get my lift on.
  • Anna022119
    Anna022119 Posts: 547 Member
    Headphones on and ignore the world around you! That's what most people do anyway. You are there for yourself and I can only admire those who work out.
    The only time I look at someone is to see what exercise they are doing and that is pure interest and even then I won't stare, just a quick look maybe. You go girl!
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
    I signed up with a trainer to get over my fears at the gym. He told me what to do, and I didn't feel stupid cause he was clearly an expert!

    As for free weights, even when I was working with my trainer, I never looked in the mirror. I prefer to focus on how the moves feel, so I look down, or focus on something else, as well as on my breathing, instead of watching myself.

    When I squat, I do it facing away from the mirror as well. I use the Smith Machine often, and just look the other way. I'm really self-conscious too. I mostly avoid looking at people in the gym, and just do my thing. However, whenever I do need to talk to someone (asking if they are using something, saying excuse me to get by, etc), I always have found everyone at the gym to be super nice and pleasant.

    Sometimes it helps to PRETEND that you are confident. Workout can make you FEEL AMAZING! I like to walk around the gym with a bit of "oomph". Shoulders back, brisk pace to the next machine/spot in the gym, etc. It might sound funny, but it makes a big difference for me. :p
  • auntdeb37
    auntdeb37 Posts: 32 Member

    Your a member of PF. You should schedule a Design Your Program with the trainer. It's a one on one, so this way you'll feel more comfortable.
  • CarvedTones
    CarvedTones Posts: 2,340 Member
    I go to PF also. The only time I see any head shakes or eye rolls is at the other end of the spectrum - people who are usually in pretty good shape seemingly trying to draw attention, strutting, looking around and nodding at people right as they are starting then pushing the PF limit on grunting and rattling weights. Most people are just doing their own thing.
  • MikePTY
    MikePTY Posts: 3,814 Member
    Just go for it! It's totally okay to look like a newbie at the gym. People won't care. They all had to start somewhere as well.

    I workout at a pretty hardcore Israeli martial arts gym. A lot of the people there are in seriously good shape and also certified badasses, and we all train together in one class. When I first started, I made a complete and utter fool out of myself on a regular basis. I was completely out of shape, could maybe do like a quarter of the workout, and was regularly getting shown up by old guys twice my age as well as the kids who train there. But nobody ever judged me or made me feel inadequate. And eventually, I got better. I've been there two months now and it's night and day from when I started.

    Don't worry about what you look like to other people, most who are too caught up in their own stuff to even notice, let alone judge. Just focus on how doing your workouts in going to bring you closer to your goals, no matter what anyone else thinks.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    I agree that most people are not watching you, and if it seems they are, it's probably because their eyes just wandered that way unintentionally.

    Every gym I've ever been in has mirrors in the weight section. I'm self-conscious about them too, so I understand how you feel. I used to look down instead of at myself.

  • _aenyeweddien_
    _aenyeweddien_ Posts: 102 Member
    believe me, you're not alone! I think most of us felt this way at some point, especially at the beginning. It gets easier in time, you'll get used to it. And if you do come across an very occasional creep who's staring at your bum while you're doing squats, turn around and ask what does he want, I guarantee you he'll be the one who's embarrassed and will leave (happened to me a few times, but I think it might be because the gym I used to go to was in a very dodgy area and there was all sorts of weird people going there, hasn't happened since I left) :) . Apart from that, like everyone else said, people are so focused on their workouts they really don't pay attention to what you're doing. Good luck on your journey
  • amy19355
    amy19355 Posts: 805 Member
    I personally think that mirrors are a valuable resource for helping me to maintain proper form.
    Poor form leads to less success, at best, and injury at worst.

    It's work to workout, and I'm a big believer in working smarter, not harder.

    IF I were influenced by what others think of what they see of me, I'd prefer to do one perfect squat while watching my form in a mirror, than to do 10 sloppy squats because I wanted to minimize my workout-in-public-view.



  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    arilukaszewicz1 wrote: »
    Thank you everyone! It’s reassuring to know that most people don’t care what you are doing. I didn’t want to sound self absorbed I am just genuinely unconfident, and I want to change that. You guys def inspired me!

    I think you will find that most people at the gym are super nice, supportive and helpful. Most will not notice you and if they do, they are noticing your hard work and effort just to show up and try. I used to be self conscious about failing a lift with other people around. But I can't tell you how amazing it is when people notice you struggling and stop what they are doing to encourage you. It's made the difference between failing a lift and giving that extra umpf to grind it out. Instead of feeling self-conscious that people are watching me, it makes me feel supported.
  • WilmaValley
    WilmaValley Posts: 1,092 Member
    Great discussion!!!!
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    The majority of the people in any given gym are just as self-conscious as you are - you just don't realize it. The others who aren't are focused on their workouts and hardly even aware of what's going on around them unless somebody does something extraordinarily stupid.
  • AndThenIWoreIt
    AndThenIWoreIt Posts: 25 Member
    Keep going and let time do its wonders — it will simply become your new normal, and then you’ll have a hard time even remembering why you thought it might be weird.
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    Can you schedule a personal training session at your gym? When I was starting out I found that working out with a trainer made me feel less intimidated and self-conscious. Now that I know what I'm doing I don't give it a second thought.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Another vote for having a few sessions with a trainer. Great investment!
  • candycrush1971
    candycrush1971 Posts: 3 Member
    It gets easier with time. I've learned that the people there, are usually there to get a workout in and aren't paying attention to others. I know when I'm working hard, I'm too busy to even see who's doing what or even at the gym.
  • candycrush1971
    candycrush1971 Posts: 3 Member
    Every gym I have been at has mirrors. It is so you can watch your form and make any corrections to minimize injuries. Maybe this will make you feel better--one of my first workouts at my NEW gym, I got so dizzy, I laid on the floor for 45 minutes, the trainer had to call my husband to come and get me and then I puked before walking out the door. NO ONE even said a work about it to me. I just kept coming back and working hard.
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    O.P. How many people have you noticed doing squats in front of the mirror and thought THEY were stupid? Most feel about you as you feel about them. Go to the gym, get your work in, be friendly and go home.

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