Why is this so dang hard?!

dclement09

Hi everyone, I'm writing in like others in this thread to see if I can put together a support team for my weight loss and exercise journey. I'm at my wits end. I've gained 20lbs, haven't exercised in how long, feel super uncomfortable in everything I wear and am just tired. Ya feel me?!

I have a big event I'm going to in March of 2019 and I'd love to there feeling better than I do today. My biggest problem is not having any motivation or anyone cheering me on.

I'd love the support of anyone up for the challenge! Thanks so much in advance!

TavistockToad

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818701/the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead

jls1788

Hi! I sent you a friend request. It helps me to have others on mfp cheering me on when I workout or eat right, or lose a lb. and I love cheering them on! Good luck, we can do hard things!!

88olds

If it were up to me, I’d change the name of this board to determination.

If you want to make a plan and stick to it until March and beyond, you’re going to have to figure out how to stick on days you don’t feel like it. Including days when you’re convinced that the plan is not working, isn’t going to work and the time and effort you have put in has been a waste. A couple of Internet likes isn’t going to get you over that hump.

I like the decision discussion in that linked thread.

After you decide you want to change, stick up for yourself. Get behind your own decision and fight for it.

Calorie counting works. But there’s a significant learning curve. Don’t be discouraged if you just stumble along for a while. Make a plan and try it out. If your plan doesn’t work so well, make it better.

There’s more to weight loss than just say no. Sometimes you’re going to want to say yes, takes a while to figure out how to make that work.

jan110144

"Calorie counting works. But there’s a significant learning curve."

Very good point!!! It has taken some time and numerous false starts for me to find out what works (for me). Once I finally did, "motivation" was no longer a problem.

Keys for me included finding out what sabotaged me, identifying the thought processes that led to "relapses", and consistent TRACKING which gave me a lot of info about the first two.

Saffyra

Wow, that linked post is spot on. Thanks for sharing!

I like a little peer pressure when it comes to staying motivated but it's when I make those decisions to put down the cake or pass a fast food joint without stopping or put my gym clothes on and just get in the car and go that I feel successful.

OP, you got this! You can kick those 20lbs out and toss their clothes on the lawn. Might as well start this minute, why wait!?

candythorns

I will cheer you on! I am in the same boat. Getting ready to go out is a challenge because nothing fits but I trust to buy larger clothing.

DaveScadlock

I totally understand as well. I sometimes feel alone in doing this. Having like minded support around you is important. Finding that person, or persons, is tough. Seems people come and go. I've come to rely upon myself, but the downside is, it makes it easy to give up. But I can't.
Hang in there. Stay focused. You gotthis.

Dav

psychod787

Habits... inho.... look at the Rock.. the actor that is. First thing he does when he gets off the plane is go lift. Habits...

Kimmotion5783

There's a great quote by Muhammad Ali:

"... everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them."

Why is weight loss and getting in shape so difficult? Because it's worth it. Anytime you choose to pursue a worthwhile endeavor, guaranteed it's going to consume time, energy and effort to acquire it. It won't be easy to achieve, and success doesn't just get handed to you automatically- you have to work hard to get it. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

In the two years since I've been on this weight loss journey, I've lost 125 pounds. There's been many moments where I doubted myself, questioned my life, went through lots of ups and downs. But no matter what, I kept at it and I don't regret a single second of any of it. Whatever you are going through right now that's making you feel this way, I assure you it's only a temporary roadblock- you will eventually move past it, just keep going! Word hard, give it your all because you're worth it and you CAN do it. You got this.

dhiammarath

To effect change, you need to want change. Not the desire for the end result -- but the desire to jump into the work of making changes. Motivation and a support group are nice, but never give the power over your success to others. You decide to make changes. You decide to be a success. Having those around you in a close network of friends there when you stumble is helpful, but they won't always be there. Their lives will take the alpha spot of their attention and you'll need to make sure to have the tools to prepare you to hold on with your fingernails when the road gets slow and long and it feels like you're climbing jagged rocks in the desert.

Change is by far the most difficult thing to do, and yet change comes to all things in time. Whether it is the change we want or not. Dig deep. Be honest with yourself about why it's hard to start. For me, I never did anything until I did because I was (still am) lazy at heart. I didn't want to change. Oh, I wanted the effects of change, the result of change, but I didn't want to actually have to do different things. I was complacent and happy there. Until I wasn't. I saw a picture of myself and realized that I needed to do something. I complained all the time about my weight and hated going clothes shopping, but never did anything because I wasn't ready to put effort into it. When I was ready, I started with small, sustainable choices.

Change comes to all things. Make sure that you are the one deciding the changes and the results of those changes. Lean on yourself. The habits you form. The choices you make. Frame your life in ways of "How can I make a difference today? A small difference. Nothing too hard."

Small things add up to bigger habits which add up to greater changes. Until you realize that you've effectively changed the course of your life. Build your support of friends, but rely on yourself. Change comes from within!

Good luck to you! You can totally do this!!