Heartbroken, and trying to stay on track

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IamRachaelLea
IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey Fitness Pal People!
I started losing weight in February, after a guy who I was really interested in, doubted that I could run 20 minutes on a treadmill. I ran that 20 minutes, and it all kept going from there. Sad part is, I thought I'd feel better, be able to walk away from "Mr.Wrong"..and prove that I didn't need his approval. Somehow, that never happened, and now I find myself on the brink of wanting to overeat. Going back to my old ways of comforting myself with food.
Not to mention, that this guy always finds a way to "cut me down"... first it was the weight, now its "you better not gain it back...what will you do?" I see the behavior, and cringe if another one of my friends had been experiencing the same thing. But somehow, I seem to put up with it.
I clearly need to look at the real reason I wanted to lose this weight... I have taken the frustration and made it into something positive, but having a really hard time staying on track. I need some support! Big time!

Rachael.
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Replies

  • lioooba
    lioooba Posts: 105 Member
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    Hey hun,

    just take this breakup as motivation. Be the hottest girl he ever had and never get back. Make him regret it!

    But actually you just should do it for yourself, for a fitter, happier and healthier you. Exercise and looking after my body always makes me feel better! Just be the best you can be.

    I know you can do this!
    xx lio
  • Determined518
    Determined518 Posts: 138 Member
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    You can do this!!! One thing I would suggest is speaking life into your situation. I don't know if you are a Christian, but the word of God says that there is power of life and death in the tongue... Meaning that what you confess over your situation is how it will be. So a lady speaks, so she is.

    Everyday, look yourself in the mirror and say, " I am a strong, beautiful woman. I have the self control and work ethic needed to reach and maintain my goal. I will accomplish everything I set my mind to."

    Discipline is ALWAYS rewarded. Blessings ALWAYS follow obedience.
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
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    The guy is an as* and does not deserve a fine woman like you. Get back on track girl! You can do this- do it for you, because you will be hot and sexy and he will be kicking himself.
  • IamRachaelLea
    IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
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    Thank you ladies.
    I sit here and tears well up. It's funny that this whole weightloss thing is making me really look at myself. I'm generally a strong leader in my community, I'm actually in the performing arts in Toronto, but that's just it. I put up fronts, and rarely allow myself to really look at me. Now I have no choice..it's right in my face. Thank you so much for your kind words and yes @determined518, I am a christian. Thank you liobba. :)
  • IamRachaelLea
    IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
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    <3 thank you!
  • kRcu
    kRcu Posts: 18
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    Although I'm a guy, I have had a similar situation happen to me with a previous gf. She had no faith that I could stick to a plan and she didn't want me to. She had this fear that if I got in my previous shape, she would have more competition. She would constantly pick at me, making me feel like I was bad for wanting to be healthy.

    You really need to do it for yourself. You will have loved ones, friends, and even some family members who secretly hope you may fail at your goals. It typically comes from people who don't have the focus to obtain their own goals, so they hate to see others feel lifted from their progress.

    Keep at it and trade up to the next guy!!
  • IamRachaelLea
    IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
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    You're so correct. I often realize that he spends so much time teasing me, that he himself has a lot of insecurities, but I pass it on as cockiness. Friends have had, not all but some, a hard time with my transition. So I think it's time to branch out and meet others who are on the same journey. Feels better already!
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
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    You are worth so much more than some one who puts you down and criticizes you. He is trying to make himself feel better by belittling you. Let him go. It will hurt, but you will be so much better off.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    You know he is wrong, you even call him Mr. Wrong. Be proud of what you have accomplished, and what you can do. You do NOT need this man, you can do so much better. Concentrate on yourself, love yourself, be proud of yourself. Discover what makes you uniquely you, and special. Then if a man comes along, fine, but you do not need to settle for Mr. Wrong, so don't.
  • kellyskitties
    kellyskitties Posts: 475 Member
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    I read a smart thing one time - paraphrasing:
    Sometimes a smart woman has to be strong enough to break her own heart.

    Isn't that the truth when the relationship is toxic yet enticing. If it's not good for you, it it's hard to maintain the relationship, it's not a good relationship. Don't waste precious time on a jerk, it's just taking time away from a good man you haven't let in or met yet.

    Change is hard - sometimes we keep the toxic because it becomes our norm and the change of our norm is scary - but 10 years from now what will be your norm with this guy if you stay in? Or will it be 10 years you wish you could get back?
  • IamRachaelLea
    IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
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    I love this community, i don't know why I didn't join and start talking sooner. Thank you all.
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
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    He cut you down? Use that as motivation to be the hottest piece of azz he ever laid eyes on! His loss honey! :happy:
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Why do allow some loser to bother you with negative comments!!! Get some self esteem and.stop dating men with No Class!!



    Herb
  • bonkers1224
    bonkers1224 Posts: 80 Member
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    FORWARD MARCH :flowerforyou:
  • shampooplanet
    shampooplanet Posts: 9 Member
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    Some people feel threatened when they see someone in their lives making a positive change. Ask yourself if you are better off with him, or without him and go from there. Good luck!
  • IamRachaelLea
    IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
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    You're right. Another 10 years would be GASTLY! I feel empowered. You are all awesome... I am feeling a lot less sad, since reading all these notes. xo
  • reinventingandrea
    reinventingandrea Posts: 323
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    All I can say is don't do it for anyone but yourself. Once you're happy with yourself, everything else will fall into place.
  • melimama2
    melimama2 Posts: 40 Member
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    He cuts you down because he knows you're too good for him! You can't lose weight for anyone but yourself. Be the person you want to be and the person you are in other aspects of your life. If you're a leader in your community and in the performing arts, you must have confidence, put that into your health and well-being and know you will find someone who deserves you and appreciates you for who youare!
  • ZapBoomPow
    ZapBoomPow Posts: 4
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    This guy sounds like a creep and like he doesn't deserve you and your time... When I went through my breakup that triggered my weight loss, I would get on the elliptical and imagine two things - running away from my ex and his cloud of negativity, or on a less sad day/these days, I run to the horizon, and I imagine everything I want just coming into focus where the sky meets earth - including a REAL man who treats me with kindness and respect - the kind of man we deserve. <3 Best of luck. :)
  • sunshineanstars
    sunshineanstars Posts: 109
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    Bump

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