Help I need some motivation!!

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I have been a ww member for two years. First year was on Beyond the Scale. I lost weight consistently all year. Then came Freestyle. I have struggled all year plateaued, and now actually gaining. I have tried to stick to their “plan”. Gagging down foods I can’t stand. I find myself often reaching into the cupboard to free hand eat crackers etc. I truly think freestyle is too restrictive. Anyways. I am tired of the scale going up. I need to re-evaluate if going to ww meetings is actually worth $60 a month as it seems I may never reach goal. I truly love the interaction and the group and I am terrified if I leave I’ll gain everything back (not just the 8 I already have). So my decision is to track on here . I need to see the actual breakdown of what I am eating. And feel free to eat whatever I want not just their stupid “free” foods that lets face it aren’t really free and not everyone enjoys!!! Has anyone else had the same issue?