Im stuck, stressed, and sad

RulaAsaad

Im 24 years old, 155cm, 55 or so kg.
I lost around 5kg last year and gained 3 backover the summer besides losing most of my muscles that ive gained last year.
Im unable to set my mind to "healthy lifestyle" again and keep thinking about "diet" which stresses me out. Im also finding it hard to stick to the gym even though i tried everything to make it a better experience (great gym, new shoes and clothes, a locker and even a HR tracker).
I mostly cook myself, have many containers for meal prep, and a food scale. And still it feels way too much.
My goal is to lose tge fat and tone my body but it feels too much. I hate my body i stopped looking at it. I dont know how to deal with it. I dont know how to deal with myself
Im scared this will go on for long. Not even sure whats the point of this post or what im asking for.... i guess i need support. Anyone been in this situation before?

TavistockToad

How are you measuring that you list muscle? Have you been bed ridden?

snowflake954

When you're mentally in a bad place it's hard to focus on weight loss and exercise. You need help with your depression first. It's true that movement can help lift your mood--a brisk walk ,for example. I think you should look into professional help. Good luck.

smolmaus

You know what, it is a lot. It's a lot to jump right back into, especially when you're feeling like you've undone good work. But you don't need to hate your body, it hasn't done anything wrong. You haven't done anything wrong. Working out and eating "healthy" is not a moral issue, it's just a thing we do if we have certain goals and nobody is under any obligation to do either of those things if it's stressful or it's making us unhappy. The real goal for all of us is to be happy.

That said, if you think getting back to that lifestyle would make you happy then just do it in little chunks or do it a little differently. You don't need to go all or nothing. Start with the easiest thing, say getting back into using the food scale. You don't even have to start immediately "dieting" just do that for a bit and see how you feel and then think about adding in meal prep if it suits you. Or don't bother with the food scale, just focus on making good choices and eating what genuinely makes you feel good. Maybe don't jump straight back into 3-4 days a week at the gym, maybe go for walks, find some classes you might enjoy, try some new activities like swimming or cycling. You don't have to do any of this, focus on what you actually want to do and what will actually make your life a bit better.

Whey125

Maybe you're trying too much all at the same time which can be overwhelming. Set mini goals and slowly incorporate these changes.